Sunday, July 15, 2012

Gems in the Rubble

"You're going to have to go out there and do this," the ruggedly good looking middle aged man, with chestnut brown hair said as we were hunkered down in some kind of dirt bunker.  Shocked at my surroundings, I took a quick inventory of the scene.  Rubble, broken pieces of things that once were the typical trappings of an every day life lay in ruin every where.  "But how in the world am I going to survive this," I asked as if I somehow understood what had happened and what it was I was going to have to do.  Again, a part of the scenery came into focus and I saw a thick deep river of mud that I knew I was going to have to wade through.  I thought, how am I going to survive without food or water and how am I going to complete the tasks I have to complete with everyone depending on me?  I'm just one woman and I have no skills in this.  The man spoke again softly but with so much love and compassion that shown clearly and beautifully through crystal blue eyes nearly camouflaged behind a very dirty and dusty face, "You will have all of the love in the universe on your side sweet heart and you will have these."  His hand opened and in it were four emerald green clear oval items that almost looked like crystal Nyquil cold tablets.  "How in the world are these going to help me do this," I asked him. He mentioned a four day flight.  I looked at him and said, "Yeah, about flying...."  I woke with a start and found my surroundings had changed.  I was safe and sound in the comfort of my room surrounded by the low light of the television I forgot to turn off before drifting off to dream.  It was 12:38 a.m.  I got up for some water troubled knowing the dream wasn't a literal one but was, in fact, one of those soul gripping metaphors that will take time to fully comprehend.

I climbed back into my huge, soft and oh so comfortable bed.  The air coming in through my bedroom window was cool and comfortable. The sounds of the night a far cry more comforting than those in the dream.  I wondered who the man was and what he represented...a guide, a way out of whatever muck I was about to have to find my way through...imbued with what...these green crystal things that were some sort of saving grace...and then immediately thinking that green, green is the color of the heart chakra and it's energy is often more powerful than we humans give credit.  I was troubled a bit but took a deep breath, let it out slowly, turned off the TV and laid quietly in the darkness just focusing on the sound of my own heart beat. I drifted once again into the land of dreams.

Back into the scene I somehow fell and I was drinking water that was so dirty I thought for sure I was going to be battling malaria soon.  But I had to.  There was just no other way to survive.  The skies were gray and still there was nothing but rubble and dirt I wandered through alone.  I fought often to retain my balance and the ability to continue forward motion rather than dropping to my knees.  Somewhere within me the only drive I had was that I had to get to the other side of this war zone of sorts.  It felt very much "Mad Max" like.  A great upheaval had occurred and we, those of us who survived, had to fight to achieve the remainder of some mission I could not recall but felt deep within me.  I felt a strong and core level ache of loneliness wash over me and I was suddenly fighting back tears and I knelt down in the dust of a small hill to feel my way through it.  Superimposed over my vision, he came again.  He could project himself into my field of vision at will some how and he spoke again..."Sweetheart, don't give up.  I know how hard this trek alone is.  I know you don't understand so much of what you do but it matters so much more than you know. You carry my love with you always.  You can do this. You have to finish this so we can go home," he said again, with so much love in his eyes and in his voice and I could feel his energy encouraging my every step.  I felt bad for doubting myself...and I felt bad that I could not remember where I was going or what I was doing and frustrated as hell that no one could tell me.  I decided to stop my fears and my worries and I stood up and brushed the dirt from my jeans, I pushed back long wisps of very dusty wild blonde locks, found a piece of string and tied it back so I could see.  I didn't like what lay ahead of me but I started walking again with a sense of conviction that I don't even understand how it could exist within me considering what I faced.  I reached in my pocket for the little crystal green oval things and took them out.  They glittered even in the low light of a thick gray cloud cover and they somehow seemed to emanate their own light and a tingling energy I could feel in my left hand.  I looked up and smiled thanking the Gods for them even though I didn't understand what they were or what the heck I would do with them.  I stuffed the lonely feelings down deep within me as I put the gems back into my pocket.  I began climbing another hill of rubble following a weak trail of light and some unknown compass within me.

My eyes opened again and I saw that I was safe and sound in bed still.  The sun was just coming up and I could hear the birds begin to sing.  A night filled with Mad Max dreams I don't understand with my logical mind... but somehow my soul has already begun to deconstruct and analyze it.  I have theories and ideas and I plan to test each one.  Sometimes our dreams don't seem pleasant at all but they stick with us and seem to grip us at the core of our very souls.  Those are the ones I pay attention to most as those are the ones that have given me the greatest insights into the happenings of my own life.  I understand this dream and the energy of recognition runs along my skin as the hair stands straight on end with seeming chills of acknowledgement.  Grateful to be awake and that there exists in this world a wonderful invention known as a coffee pot, a full store of coffee in my pantry and a refrigerator stocked with delicious sweet cream.  I had much to ponder as I sat up slowly.  I debated whether or not I would share this series of dreams.  After a cup, the decision was made and, so, here it is.

Dreams are not insignificant things.  It is how our minds work out the details we cannot quite grasp while awake and distracted but their themes - once you can fully taste them, are beautiful indicators of direction, summaries of thought and the ideas that create within us hope and faith. ~Blessings as you journey through this dream.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

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