Sunday, August 1, 2021

Life, Projects and The World

I have lived in California and Florida in my life, both are very lush and green states.  Green trees, green grass and flowers seem to grow in abundance.  While I always appreciated the view everywhere I looked, I still feel I took it for granted.  I live now in Arizona by choice.  I love the energy here, the wide open spaces, the lack of sky scrapers, the red rocks and cacti.  It’s so foreign to me but so beautiful too.  A different kind of beauty.  I’ve got a couple of trees that are fairly green when it isn’t scorching in temperature outside.  I’ve got a grass back yard I should probably get rid of because we’re in drought but you know what, a part of me needs that patch of green…even if it’s mostly yellowish green for a better part of the year.  My back yard is cooler than my front yard.


I have yet to find some flowers that are happy here.  I see them all around but my goodness is the ground in my backyard so hard.  I can’t plant the things myself.  I’ll have to hunt down some local colorful or flowering plants and have my gardener help me out.  He’s got the tools and muscle for it and I don’t really.  I’m going to draw up a plan for it.  My plan is to add a color explosion of drought tolerant local flowering plants.  I want the bees happy, the humming birds humming and all manner of critter content to call my backyard home.  That thought makes me happy for some reason.


I’m also going to focus next Spring on some new flooring for my bathroom.  I’ve got the floors picked out and when I’m ready, I’ll order and get that handyman or person out to help me with it.  I tend to suffer arthritis to the point, I just can’t DIY any more.  But am getting ready to make some improvements here and there.  Going to paint my house soon and maybe a little personalization on the inside too.  I’m really liking turquoise, grays and cool browns.  It’s fun planning.  I’m so incredibly grateful I have these little projects to look forward to.  They keep my mind off of pandemic numbers and all the harshness I’m seeing in the world just now.  I can cry at every little thing I see that breaks my heart or I can pull my focus in on fixing myself, my surrounds, figure out how to engage better in support of my new community where I find myself.  I don’t know how to get there entirely from here but the beautiful thing about life on Earth is that when you open your mind to something, that something soon follows right smack dab into the middle of your life.


I’m trying to keep my life very simple just now.  The world is rough and the news is horrendous.  The scientific articles I once found fascinating are becoming ever more terrifying and I just don’t have the heart for them anymore.  I support science but I don’t have to get sucked into worrying about every little thing or new terrible finding of this study or that theory that nearly equates to the end of the world.  All I can do is all I can do…support organizations that help, be strong for myself and my family, be kind to people for no other reason than that is at least something I can offer this crazy world – KINDNESS!  It all seems a bit weird and crazy but I do know this, if you take good care of yourself, take good care of those you love, and take good care of your community and all the things you care about, you are less fixated on those troubling things that you cannot control.


Life is always changing, something new or different to contend with and it isn’t always pleasant is it?  Sometimes it’s not glowing roses but violence, global warming, facts and figures climbing or falling in ways that hurt others.  It’s hard to take it all in.  Sometimes you have to stop, tune out and focus within, close to home a little minute.  Take a breath, give yourself a time out and some space to re-balance in whatever way that works for you.  It’s okay not to be okay sometimes.  It’s okay to be okay too.  This is your life; however it is you want to live it.  I’m troubled by what I see but I’m still optimistic.  I’m completely grateful for my job, my home, my family, my pets, and that our basic needs are solved for.  I pray every day for those less fortunate than I am.  I pray we all find our way to a better tomorrow.  In the meantime, take care of you.  I apologize for the wild pendulum swing in this catch-up post.  It is where I’m at.  Struggling some days with what I see in the world and striving to give myself a break and try to balance myself out with simple tasks and projects.  All the while though, this quiet time has been a blessing too.  Time to focus inward, get in touch with what’s there, breathe and breathe again knowing all will be as it is meant to be and all I can do is do what I can to change what I can or find a way to work with or accept those things I cannot.  It is a strange place. Wherever you are on the spectrum of emotions in this world on any given day, it’s okay.  Take care of you.  It matters.  You matter.  Blessings of comfort, abundance, health and satisfaction.

Saturday, March 27, 2021

Random Thoughts - Sunset Moon Moments


The puppy woke me up at 4:23 am this morning. He’s become an erratic alarm clock. My middle daughter was playing VR as I could hear her feet or something hitting the floor pretty hard repeatedly.  She may have woken the dog who was doing his little puppy best to guard the house and its occupants from the noises that weren’t normal.  Good job pup.


I’m now sipping coffee from a 32 oz mug that I received as a joke many years ago.  The coffee tastes good this morning.  I needed this little ritual today after a very tough week of puppy training, cleaning from said puppy training, crazy busy work week with too many meetings keeping me from my daily required tasks and life changes.  Oh, those life changes.  Sometimes the heart of the soul calls you to do things in your life that maybe you don’t want to do.  In my near 55 years of life now, I have learned that when it calls in the way that it does, it’s best to just listen…take heed…and then take action accordingly. Even when you don’t understand the reasons why, you have to trust the Universe, your heart and your soul.


Life has been this incredible swirl for the past many years – a peaceful swirl like a merry-go-round gently turning but playing your favorite song during a beautiful sunrise or sunset.  This pandemic, losing family, feeling like I’m losing my grip a little and wow.  Just to stop and breathe in the first rays of light this morning while the birds sing the sun up – it’s priceless, I really have to say. I realize in this life how much pain a soul can carry – it’s a lot.  I realize also how much gratitude a soul can hold – it’s a lot.


The day is shaping itself - readying itself to reveal itself in its own time, in its own way and within its own form and reason. I’m open, curious and sipping coffee from a giant mug and feeling the peaceful energy of the morning before the city stirs in earnest. It’s going to be okay, come what may.  One thing I have learned in this life is to trust myself to manage whatever may come. My thoughts are intertwined with domestic Goddess duties for the day and the philosophic meaning of all we encounter in life. If only I had answers to the million queries that flow through my consciousness.  Not that I’d know what to do with those answers, mind you.  Then again, sometimes it is a very good thing to keep the thoughts reigned in, hold them close to the Earth - grounded - with concentrated breath in and out set on repeat for a few moments. Being present loosens the chains of fear, of pain, of anxiety and even nostalgia. To be present with the breath is a gift – no yesterday – no tomorrow – just now – coffee – birds – sun and peace.


I watched the last rays of sunlight behind the mountains last night. The sky glowed with fiery red and pink light like burning embers in some cosmic fire.  I turned to go back into the house and saw a big bright full moon shining her light down upon the Earth.  I sent prayers up and out for all those I hold dear, for humanity, for the Earth and just then, a gentle breeze blew around me and filled my lungs with cool fresh air as if it were the Universe answering - don't worry - we've got you. I stood transfixed for a moment - mentally marking the moment.  Such a tiny moment but I tell you it was filled with the entire universe of experience, thoughts, love, hopes and dreams. I was reminded that sometimes you really have to take a long but gentle look at the scenery. The energy of it is waiting to fill you up when you most need it but you must make the effort to notice it - to fully acknowledge it. I don’t know why, but I needed to share that.


Blessings for your journey and may the road you’re on lead you to moments of great bliss and infinite understanding.


© 2021 photo/words (except the pup – picture courtesy of Brittany Harter)