I woke up before the sun this morning. Feeling peaceful, I
went about my routine. Coffee brewing, I opened the blinds to let in the slowly
expanding light. I’d like to say I
enjoyed the cool of the morning but there was no cool to be had. It’s just about summer in The Valley of the
Sun and while mornings are cooler, they are certainly not cool at all. But, the beauty of sunrise is unmistakably
wonderous and amazing to behold no matter the time of year. The birds are singing, Mourning Doves cooing
and I can hear the soft whir of air conditioning units humming in unison like
some strange song that sets your teeth on edge a bit.
Times are strange, I think. My exciting moment of the day will be a second booster dose of the COVID vaccine and hoping that one case of Monkey Pox in my county hasn’t spread. That’s just all we need, another pandemic. Many folks act as if the pandemic ended but it hasn’t. Case numbers are still high for COVID but people just don’t seem to care as much. COVID seems to be becoming a new norm and I must say that I don’t like it. Unfortunately, it is a reality so I have no choice but to accept this thing I cannot change and do my best to enjoy all other aspects of my life as best as I can. COVID has come through my door like 5 or 6 times now. I must say though, having been vaccinated, we fortunately get through it without issue and with most of us fully vaccinated, it becomes a mild inconvenience for a few days.
I’m about to finish my 55th trip around the sun in just a few months and I’ve noticed some changes in my world view, my internal practices, and the way that I feel physically. I no longer view the world with 20/20, arthritis greets me every morning already, and you’d think that would be disheartening but to me, it isn’t. It’s becoming more and more like gravity and I notice it but move on. I’m grateful to live in a warm and dry climate (pats self on the back for a smart move a few years back). My tolerance for heat has really grown. I love the sunlight in this place. We have dark skies so infrequently here. I’m loving my little refuge in the desert. I’m loving being a Grandmother. I’m struggling with being the owner of a dog with a bad disposition. The training is an every day thing for life to keep him in check. Beautiful dog and I love him so.
My life has grown quiet these past many years in most areas and I have to say that the last few years have been really happy ones. Despite a crazy load of work for the day job, all is calm, all is bright. The things that used to really dig in underneath my skin are seemingly of no consequence unless I’ve allowed myself to become too tired or overly stressed. I love how age and wisdom dulls our sharp edges. I relish the peace in striving to please no one but myself for a change. I love waking every morning knowing this game of life is truly me against me. Blame no longer haunts me. Guilt recedes like the light into the darkness. Victim thinking of any kind rarely takes hold. I don’t hope for better tomorrows but instead take a breath and feel my way through the present moment over and over again. Your life changes when you learn the enormous gift the present truly is.
So, a few paragraphs I leave you with of nothing much to say. Growing quieter by the day still for no real reason other than the years of fears, worries and angst have all worked themselves out in my world. My deepest thoughts these days are of the beauty in every moment of every day, the depth of the sky observing tiny pinpoints of far away light, the amazing array of colors during sunset, the way a child’s innocent face not only lights up a room but an entire life. I have been so blessed. For all that has come before this moment, I am truly grateful. For all that is present, I am humbled. For all that has yet to come, I remain ever hopeful – curious – welcoming. Have a blessed day, week, year, life – moment.
copyright 2022 Janice Harter (photo/words)