Friday, June 24, 2011

Gypsy Heart

I drove around town this morning taking care of some errands and treating myself to a little Starbuck's mocha (my once a week divine indulgence!).  In the last fourteen years, I've lived in so many places and this morning as luck would have it, I passed by just about every place we have lived during that time period.  Huntington Beach is a big city for a little city.  It covers a lot of square footage.  I drove by the place I lived when my third child was just born.  Oh the memories that struck me then.  It was such a difficult time of so much solitude and deep soul searching and then right across the street, we lived there too right before my youngest child was born...again more memories washed over me.  Times challenging to live through but lessons so rich I wouldn't have traded them for anything in the world.  I unintentionally drove past a few more places and again, more memories flooded my consciousness, some good and some not so much but I consoled myself realizing that with every tear shed was a beautiful life lesson learned.

Growing pains in the highest regard it seems these past many years.  I feel like a gypsy sometimes always having to pick up and move for one good reason or another and with four kids, traveling lightly is absolutely impossible.  Maybe I'm awestruck at the wonder of starting over...embracing change?  Nah, that's not it.  I definitely am not afraid to start over.  I've done it so many times that it seems routine.  But, this gypsy heart of mine finds a new longing.  One that has me wanting to stop all the commotion of motion and settle down and put down roots for a while.  You learn a lot while you are in motion and I have full recall of every step of every journey I have ever taken.  But, I would really like to stand still for a while and just observe the world moving around me.  The merry-go-round of life will always spin and sing, rising and falling while continually turning but I think I'd like to stop for a while.  I've never known this kind of feeling before.  Can a gypsy heart really hold a desire to stop roaming?

Maybe it's age, wisdom and maturity that is not so quick to pick up and go any more.  As I look back, I think in some ways I've always been in search of home never realizing that this feeling of "home" is not some place you go or some place you live.  It's some place you are.  This heart of mine now wishes only to roam within the beautiful confines of love and light, following the sun, rainbows and big white puffy clouds crawling across the cerulean blue skies from inside my consciousness.  I don't think I would mind standing still but how will I learn to?  I'm not sure if that's even meant for me and I'll take what I'm given in this life and I'll learn to love every minute of it.  In all of my life, in nearly 45 years on this Earth, I have moved 22 times.  Always some place new, always for some very good reason and now I wish to stop.  That's so funny to me and I'm most certain my closest friends would giggle at my thoughts just now.  Oh right, Jaie stay put in one place?  What is it, April Fools?  That's okay.  I can entertain my thoughts and dreams as I will and smile at my own silliness expressed in this life time and time again. 

This gypsy heart may not even quiver any more at the thought of picking up and leaving again, chasing down another dream or roaming new horizons to build even more new dreams.  But there is one thing it has given me...a gift so precious...the ability to learn to feel at home no matter where I am.  After so long now I find this is of great importance.  Learning to live inside of your skin, feeling whole and a love that defies logic and reason beaming out strongly from the inside and so beautifully returned from the outside world as well...well, I'll just say that I am one very happy soul.  Come what may, life lessons will abound but I will always know that I am home.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Diffused light
Comes to life in the darkness
Chasing shadows across the sky
And I, I’m here watching the play again
Wakeful dreaming once again
For no other reason
Than the sheer joy of presence
In the morning hours
I find a great rejuvenation
Rested after a night’s repose
Hopeful when the new day dawns
I will awaken a little more and a little more
This can seem a strange world at times
But one glance at the play of light
As the morning sun rises above the mountain tops
The colorful display
Reminds me of how simple life can be
How beautiful, magical and even fragile
For in a single moment
The flash of bold and beautiful colors
Dissipates slowly into simple cerulean blue
And a moment of sheer beauty has come and gone
But it returns again and again
Each day we awaken and learn anew
Some things we can count on
Some things continually change
And who are we to judge it all any way
Mere mortal humans
Playing with concepts we think we understand
With our logic and reason we claim the truth
If I want the truth
I’ll watch the sun rise and feel it

Friday, June 17, 2011

Vulnerability – Not a Fate Worse Than Death

The definition of “vulnerable” at ( means that you are capable of being wounded…not that you are or will be.  Our life experience often teaches us negatively that to be vulnerable is a bad thing because we could be wounded.  So then, feeling vulnerable in the negative means that you are not living in the now moment.  It means that you are standing there worried that your openness and authenticity will absolutely render you wounded and so you go to great pains and take great efforts to avoid it through worry, disguise, dishonesty and inauthentic behavior.  You build walls a mile high and thick in order to achieve a sense of safety but that is an illusion…safety, that is.  

Consider this for a moment, say you absolutely can successfully build invisible walls around you so that you will never be exposed to your core, never be seen for who and what you really are and that no one could ever reach you to hurt you because you have closed yourself off thinking your actions can prevent you from being wounded.  I must ask you, what kind of life would you be able to live?  How could you ever learn or grow if you prevent the pressures and pains in life that would turn your coal-like parts into beautiful sparkling diamonds?  We don’t like pain.  We are taught to fear and avoid pain nearly at all costs.  Then begins an interesting dynamic of fear of the fear of pain which boxes you into behavior and decisions that are so far removed from your truest desires.  I have to tell you that in my opinion, it takes by far more energy and effort to seal yourself off and protect yourself than it would to experience what life has to teach you, work through the emotions and then begin to learn and understand more about who you truly are.

It may be unpopular but I do not subscribe to the New Age thoughts of “eradicate the ego” or “eradicate fear.”  The fact that we come here equipped with these two great challenges speaks to me in volumes of the perfect design we are as is.  The ego and fear (they are so closely related in function) are to be understood.  These things are not bad or evil in and of themselves…it is our reaction to them that becomes the problem…our addiction to remaining in a state of fear to generate adrenaline to make us feel alive.  Maybe?  The ego does not like vulnerability.  It is, by its very nature, fearful.  There is no need to resist or hate that part of us.  In so doing, our hatred could tear us apart and we then are committed to living life ever after…fragmented.  This is not good.  We cannot be effective in this life if we are not whole and living authentically.

I do not LOVE vulnerability and I struggle with it like everyone else on the planet does but I will NOT resist it.  I will instead acknowledge it when it is triggered in the negative and then seek immediately to understand why it exists in a particular moment.  In this way, I can take advantage of a unique opportunity to peer into the soul of the person I truly am…understand my failings and weaknesses and do so with others who might be able to support and assist me to the extent I am willing to grow and change…or evolve into a higher being of love.  When others are vulnerable with you, consider the rare and amazing gift that is.  Someone feeling safe with you or the need to open up to you is giving you an opportunity to rise to a higher level of awareness and allow the love within you to grow while you walk through whatever it is with someone else.

Vulnerability is not inherently bad.  Being vulnerable is a good thing…it’s an opportunity to be treasured and worked with, not something to fear or avoid.  Food for thought…Love and light all!

Humbly at Peace

Gray sky morning again
No rays of sunlight to warm my skin
Sipping hot coffee and listening to the birds sing
Consciousness craving a journey far and wide
I submit to its desire with a deep breath and a sigh
It’s a beautiful world I walk within
The hills and valleys never more than I can handle
I’m grateful really – deep down in the heart of me
Time is such a funny thing to me
It matters only when something is missing
And you find yourself in a state of waiting
A cool breeze blows and I let it all go
I smile from somewhere deep down inside
Knowing, understanding and feeling compassion for everything
This state… this life… it’s pure magic when you let it be
Worries are nothing but borrowing imagined trouble
I don’t understand sometimes why we give it focus so much
But then again, I do…we all do it from a place of fear
Fear that what we want and love won’t remain ours quite long enough
Time runs out no matter how hard you try
I don’t mean to sound defeatist
I’m a realistic optimist
I know in life there are just some things, plans and dreams
That a soul must let go of in a state of grace
Not with a dark heart but with a heart filled with hope
That by letting go of fear, letting go of what you hope will remain
Will take on a new life and love
Breathe deeply in the larger scheme of a magical existence
And claim every happiness as a beautiful victory
It is that you know, happiness…it is a victory…
A victory over self
I come back to my little world again
I open my eyes and drink it all in
I remain humbly at peace

(c) photo/poem June, 2011 - Jaie Hart

Monday, June 13, 2011

My most recent work (submitted just yesterday and available to the public within the next few days in both paper back and the Amazon Kindle store), Ethereal Reflections is a collection of poetry focused on life, love and dreams. Coming very soon!!!!!  I will post live links in the next few days. :)  Have a great day!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

First and Always

I cannot abide
By this world’s judgment
Making me okay
Based on the world’s perceptions
I’ve done things that are wrong
By this world’s standards
I’ve done things
I, myself, wish I hadn’t
While I explored my own existence
And through trial and much error have I learned
Who and what I truly am
And in so doing, something by far
Even more important
My judgment can never be whole
Or right in terms of another’s existence
I am a mere mortal, very human, so fallible
Just finding my own way
My mind is at times so very small
But my heart is always so big
And I’m learning every day
And in every way
To see the world and its inhabitants
Through that filter first
Because I know first hand
It is compassion and understanding
In this world, I value most
And so it is these things
I must live, breathe, be and give
First and always
© June, 2011 Jaie Hart/photo 2010


How can you live in a world without hope
Or go through the day seeing nothing but darkness
I know we all seek deeper meaning at some level
Deep down inside we yearn
For that feeling of home
And its only illusory thoughts
We allow to exist in this world
That tells us we cannot have that
Right here and right now
I’ve felt those stirrings
Of not wanting to be here
Of wanting to go home
But its those moments that I know
I have succumbed to the unreal
Giving ethereal imaginings credence
I have given birth to conflict
From within my own heart
But this, I do know
I wanted to be here
Or I would simply and suddenly
Cease to exist at all
We all hold that power
And have a divine right to be here
Embrace that truth
And the love from within you
Will bring you safely
And so beautifully…

© June 2011, Jaie Hart (photo and poem)

Saturday, June 11, 2011


 Guides, Guardians and Messengers

Excerpt from Expanding Horizons  - Growth and Beyond - a new work by Jaie Hart...
(copy right, Jaie Hart, March 2011)

Some of us are lucky enough to have real life guides like the kind so many write about in some of the truly wonderful metaphysical books out today.  But, don’t be disheartened if you do not find any on your path.  I would encourage you that not all of us end up with a guru to show us the way or a quirky and yet revered elder who shows up specifically to guide us on our way. Sometimes we have to find our own way and our own guides.  Sometimes your guides may manifest in the physical and sometimes they never do.  They remain by your side from the seemingly ethereal realms and dimensions.

When I was almost twenty, I saw my guide for the first time.  I was living in a haunted apartment and had spent about 30 minutes watching my bathroom light click loudly on after I had just shut it off.  Frustrated and scared, I didn’t know what else to do so I prayed.  Just then I saw Jacob’s face.  I don’t know how I knew his name, I just did but he appeared to me and without ever moving his lips told me it was time for me to pack up and head home.  I did just that…at 1:00 a.m. that morning.  Luckily, my father lived across town.

I didn’t see Jacob again for almost twenty years.  But I heard from him next at age 27.  I was reading the Celestine Prophecy and I heard a voice very loudly say, “Pay attention to this.  You are going to need this information.”  I just about dropped the book startled because the voice came right into my left ear as if a man were standing behind me.  It was during that time, I met another guide named Joseph.  Jacob is an elder, a father figure but Joseph is much younger and he always called me Ali when I spoke time him during meditations.  It was during this time of life that I was very active with meditation and actually met Joseph during an automatic writing experiment.

So, times were getting challenging for me and although I met these otherworldly guides, I became frustrated with spirituality and pretty much set it down for probably a good 10 years.  I received many other wake up calls during that time frame but I pretty much gave up searching.  Life was too hard and things hurt too much to deal with so I just shut everything down as a matter of survival.  I pouted like a baby because I didn’t have a guide in real life.  Little did I know that my guides stood by the entire time giving me suggestions, inspiring prophetic words through my poetry.  I’m so grateful today.
If you have not met any angels or guides, you can.  It just takes intention, patience and perseverance.  You can meditate on this topic quite simply.  Get comfortable as you normally do for meditation and conducting any breathing or relaxation techniques you normally do (I start very simply with 5 very slow in and out breaths to relax and clear my mind).  The say your prayers or positive affirmations and then set your intent such as:

1.       Dear God, please send to me my angels or guides to assist me on my journey.  I need to see and hear them and I want to know their names.
2.      Sit very patiently and wait and see what starts to happen in your mind’s eye.  Notice any sounds, pictures, sensations or colors.  Guides can appear in many different ways.
3.      State once more, dear angels and guides who have my highest intent and good in mind, come to me now and reveal yourselves.  Again, wait patiently and notice any sensations.

No matter what happens, stick with it until you get a response.  When you set your intent, believe it will be.  Keep at it.  It takes time and dedication to meet your guides.  Once you meet them, you can test them if you like to make sure they really have your best intent at heart.  If you take the time to ground yourself and surround yourself with white light before you begin along with setting your intent that no one who doesn’t have your highest good at heart can come through the white light, you will have set the necessary boundaries.

The relationship you have with your guides is a very personal one.  A good guide won’t tell you what to do and would never ever cause you any kind of harm.  They are there to provide you with guidance and to assist you in interpreting your life lessons.  If you’ve ever been to a counselor, they try hard not to give you all the answers but lead you into your mind where you can find the answers yourselves.  A guide is very similar.  They will not give you all the answers but will gently lead you into the depths of your heart and soul to help you find the answers yourself.  Nothing anyone gives you means as much as the things you work for yourself.  When you work for the answers yourself and you receive the reward of finding it on your own, I cannot tell you what that does for a soul. The spiritual path is not for sissies.  There is no pill or other substance you can take that will bring it to you.  You really have to be ready to do the work, remain committed and take charge in keeping communications open for your own learning.  Communicating with Angels, Guides and other Messengers can be very valuable. 

I can tell you that periodically during my trips to the meadow that other messengers pass through with information I might not have known if I had not let them pass through.  Before every session though I am methodical about prayer and white light to clear my space and myself of any negative energy or vibrations.  I find when I take the time to do this and I’m very strict about it, I have much better results.  Like a surgeon, you want your instruments sterile before you start operating.  The same is true of any spiritual work or meditation you conduct.  Clear your energy field with prayer and white light, imagine every chakra center infused and cleared with bright white sparkling light, set your intent with words and back those words up with very positive and loving feelings and you will come out of every session feeling like you’ve stretched and grown in some way.  Even if its just a matter of becoming more relaxed, that is no easy task in today’s world so you should really be very proud of yourself.

However you decide to connect with messengers, practice makes perfect.  If it just isn’t happening for you, try something different.  Maybe you’re not quite ready yet for an ethereal guide.  There is nothing wrong with that at all.  If this is not your style or its just not happening for you, don’t be discouraged.  Instead, do a little life review.  Take into consideration the defining moments of your recent past.  What were some of the tough things happening for you.  Now think, did any people randomly show up and impart words of wisdom?  It could have been a stranger’s smile, someone online reaching out to give you encouragement, a friend stopping by at just the right time or perhaps meeting a new one somewhere or somehow.  Maybe a pet came into your life to ground you and keep you calm. The messengers come regardless of their form.  We don’t always have a steady guide in the physical form.  Sometimes people pop into and out of our lives once they’ve helped us understand a lesson or at least given us the opportunity too.  Maybe an angel comes to us in our dream and makes us feel whole and healed.  That’s a messenger for sure.

Maybe we daydream of places otherworldly that brings us a sense of peace.  Perhaps its your guide leading you to that place to help provide you with that sense of peace.  The thing to remember, this is your spiritual journey.  What you observe, you create.  Your intent is everything and you don’t have to have an experience lik the books and movies detail.  You are beautifully unique and may have your own kind of helpful experience with messengers and they will have the same result for you as physical or ethereal guides have for others.  There is no right or wrong way here.  There is only what works for you and uplifts you on your journey. 

I would suggest to you that you consider dropping all limits and preconceived notions so that you are more open to the subtle language of spirit.  This one thing can really help clear your sight and your knowing thus allowing you to understand the subtle spiritual language. Sometimes the messages are so subtle.  At some point in your life you may begin to understand certain aspects of spiritual language and you’ll look back at your life and see all of the places spirit was in fact speaking to you.  You just didn’t know how to tune in.  Later on in this book, I’ll provide a chapter on exercises you can do to help with your spiritual practice.

This Chapter just wouldn’t be complete without touching on other messengers.  These are messengers of a different kind and I’m talking about emotions…pain, anger, frustration, depression or fear even.  These are not the enemy.  They are not something to quickly eradicate.  They each have so many important lessons to teach us and that is why we feel them.  So, rather than feeling bad about feeling a bad emotion, take some time to consider the underlying emotion.  Embrace it rather than resisting it.  What we resist persists and if it’s a negative emotion you’re feeling, you’re not really going to want to keep them with you forever because they can inhibit your growth.  As I said, embrace them and do what you can to understand their presence in your life. What themes gave them light and life on your path.  When you can reach down inside to where your own infinite well of love resides and look at these emotion through the eyes of love, holding compassion for yourself and others, you may find these messengers leave you much more quickly as understand dawns on sleepy minds.

Keep your mind and your heart open and you will discover a great many things on your own journey.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Perceiving Darkness - Venturing Into the Light

It may be a bit unpopular, but I am of the sincere opinion that darkness is not the terrible and bad thing we are taught to think it is. Darkness is not necessarily a thing unto itself but rather a temporary absence of light, at least from the point of our perception. To stand in that darkness and feel every aspect of it's seeming existence, to surrender to it completely not in a state of "doing-ness" but in a state of "being-ness," one does not lose a thing but misconception of the purpose of darkness. Dark nights of the soul are not a curse or an episode of karma being paid by a soul for some collection of seeming misdeeds. They are brief moments of forgetting designed specifically to allow a soul to find a way to bring back his or her own light into his or her own very valuable perception. Only in complete darkness can we truly appreciate our own Source-given light...bring it back to full existence that will eventually, again, begin to permeate the all of everything we perceive. Choosing to not see the light leaves us in darkness. Choosing to reopen our hearts, minds and souls to the light is the beginning of remembrance. We are never anything other than who we are...beings of light and love. We can be nothing other but amnesia sets in willingly sometimes and so we must find our way through the darkness we, ourselves, create and eventually, the light will shine once again from within and clear away all of the seeming darkness we temporarily created...truly, for no other purpose than to remind us of who and what we really are. We are not the superficial and trivial things or labels this world would have us believe we are. We are divine in our own right. We were made that way. We will always be that whether we choose to remember or not. We can live in light or darkness as we so choose. Its up to think otherwise is to embrace the illusion as reality. That is such a tragedy!  The ego's pull is so hard to over come but it can be our greatest teacher.  Seek to understand the subtle nuances of what you hear about as the "great illusion."  There is no illusion other than what we give credence darkness...spiritual darkness, physical darkness is unreal...light will prove this truth over and over again.  Let your light shine dear ones and be not deterred by those temporary things which seem to block your ability to emit that.  ~Love and Light~