It is all to easy to become mired in negativity. In some ways, its almost easier to allow the self to sink into the lower vibratory energies of existence. We don't have to reach for those. We just let go and we sink into them. Did you know it is your thoughts that make that decision for you? You don't wake up one day and find yourself mired in the sludge and drudgery of emotion. Your thoughts set the path and your unfortunate but temporary lack of awareness steers you down that road if even seemingly... unwittingly. This may sound terrible and awful but it's actually not. To know that you have the power to change your thoughts, change your emotion and dig deep within to find the energy, the love and the strength to reach up and pull yourself out is simply amazing.
I once had someone come at me quite angrily to tell me off in that I had obviously never had a bad day, never suffered depression, nor insomnia, death in my family members and friends and always had everything go perfectly right for me to spout off such unconscionable things as we have the power to change our experience. I could understand the frustration immediately. I could understand because I lived that world once where all my days seemed bad, like every decision lead to disaster, the depressive and oppressive emotions had me thinking only of escape. I've lost a parent, I've had friends die, I have lost jobs, I have had to file bankruptcy and I felt very much like it was the world and everyone else around me who caused my misery. If these people and institutions would only do what I wanted them to do, I could dig myself out and be free. I spent three years once in my own self-created and very miserable victimized hell and no one could touch me there. But something happened. I took a cold hard and very courageous look at the themes in every "bad" seeming situation in my life. Having a natural aptitude for analysis and pattern awareness I looked for the common thread in every bad situation I seemingly encountered. In shock, awe, much denial for a long time and disbelief at first, I realized the common theme was me and my own thoughts, my assumptions I made about life, people, situations and even institutions. It wasn't personal the things that I went through. There were decisions I made and there most definitely were consequences. I spent a long tim beating myself up for those decisions in the absense of understanding as to why I should make them. Then, I thought about that for a while. There were things I wanted to experience, I was creating my life from a place of fear in general and fear of pain. But I realized something, I was already in pain so why would I spend another moment fearing it? I realized pain wasn't so bad or something to run from but something to embrace, understand and grow through.
I spent a lot of time considering, thinking and understanding why I would make the deicisions I did and why I might want, from a soul level, to experience the things I did and suddenly the darkness and heaviness went away. Understanding brings in love and light. One loving thought for self and one open thought towards understanding lets in a little pin prick of light and even that tiny little pin prick of light can be quite illuminating when one is in sheer darkness. I realized that we all have our dark nights of the soul and if our expectation is that pain is to be avoided or that pain is something to run or escape from, perhaps it is our expectations that need adjusting. Our own thoughts and assumptions need to be reset with the understanding that everything we do and think matters. Everything has purpose. Our mistakes create learning for us. Our assumptions are a beautiful messenger to tell us where we need healing. If we continually feel that others are out to hurt us and we have so little trust - what within us feels we deserve that - what is it that WE are reinforcing with such thoughts? We have to go back to the beginning sometimes and begin again. Find the positive things in life that bring us joy and start over. Re-knit together the chains of our thoughts with validated facts and then understand those facts. From there we can try to see a theme, story or situation from 360 degrees instead of a limited one or two degrees with assumption.
There are so many ways we lead ourselves down darkened alleyways where villains loom in the dark shadows with every step. Well, what are you trying to teach yourself? If you want to continue, free will dictates you absolutely can. But if you don't want to, you can go back to the start, re-engage in your journey with different goals, considering actions and the most likely consequences (grounded in fact and not assumption) and start down another road. When you find some roads that unfortunately seem to have a gaping abyss blocking your progress, find a way around them, over them or under them or back track and find yourselves a different road to travel. You have so much more power than you know and everything you do teaches others around you. Your lives are never worthless and they always have meaning. You are a bright and beautiful soul with love to give, love to receive, dreams to create and dreams to live. You empower yourself when you refuse to don the garment of the victim and wrap it around you close. Throw it off and stand there expecting the light to come and show you a better way. It will come and should you happen to run into one of those rare villains out there - realize you face a soul mired in darkness. Don't let them pull you into their hell. Understand, heal yourselves, allow the light of love in and live this life like you mean it. There are so many beautiful tools at your disposal but none more great than the love and wisdom from within your own soul. Count your blessings knowing that what you focus on most is what you will create to experience. Look for darkness, you will find it. Look for the light and you will find it and once you find the light, you will better understand the darkness if it should come and will be better able to deal with it in your world. Thinking positive doesn't mean you won't ever have a bad day again. But it does mean that when life's challenges happen, you will be better equipped to find the love, light, wisdom and understanding of the "bad" things that happen. Sometimes those "bad" things can turn out to be blessings in disguise.
Blessings of love, healing and light dear ones. Make it a great life...start now!
(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)
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