Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Within You

I watched the clouds barely visible in the cool and dark of the morning.  The last view of the stars was a joy to watch as the night slowly faded into day and the Earth turned.  The brightest one in the sky caught my attention for some reason.  All the stars but that one seemed to go out in that moment.  I turned away a few moments and looked back and with a smile I noticed it too had gone out.  I can feel moisture on the wind as I realize those clouds are the beginnings of another gentle summer storm.  I'm grateful as the water brings with it a refreshing reprieve from the heat of summer.  I'm grateful as I stand here consciousness stretched far and wide and wondering what the day will hold.  The general feeling of the latest days gone by have been anxious and eager interchangeably.  It's almost as if I'm standing on the edge of something and the full view of what is to come will magically appear like the valley floor when approaching the top of a mountain ridge.  Yes, it has been a very long but rewarding climb to get to where I am now, standing near the edge of a precipice yet again.

Life is like that I suppose.  We go through our lives day in and day out, climbing mountains of lessons, viewing the terrain, more peaks and some valleys and we just take it all in, label it and register it somewhere within the farthest reaches of our reaching minds.  I seek greater depths and understanding of life and must admit there are some things I wish I had no understanding of.  It might make life much easier for me but, then again, I enjoy the effort of climbing, learning, taking in new views from ever higher vantage points.  Like everyone else does I have my emotions purposefully and also unwittingly attached to thoughts that race through my mind sometimes undetected until they collect en mass and I must think hard and feel my way through all that I have collected.  All is peaceful in my world in this moment and the beauty I see as the gray clouds appear suddenly painted pink along their edges, the darkness erased and soon to be replaced by pure pristine and opalescent white.  A tingling sensation rushes through my whole being as the golden rays of the sun appear adding a new mix of colors and sensations for my appreciation to take in.

I wonder about all the things that have come before and all the questions I've been left with from human interactions.  It would be easy to focus on walking the path of others pointing out their mistakes, behavioral misfires and lack of forethought.  But I realize the path of others is not mine to walk.  I cannot walk the path of the other from the starting point that is me.  My knowledge rests in the journey of my own path which differs from those I see around me.  Oh, some may seem similar but to judge them based on my thoughts and experience would be short sighted and I know me, I would do so only when there was some aspect of my own journey I'm refusing to face.  This knowledge within me always pulls me back to my own road I walk mostly with courage and conviction but its a steep uphill climb sometimes and sometimes, I'll be honest, I just get weary.  Such times are not long lived and I know all I need to do is pause, think, regroup, take a very deep breath, stand and just place one foot in front of the other.  Mechanically it isn't so very difficult but emotionally sometimes its a chore.  I've dreams yet to create and many things yet to learn and more fully comprehend and I will not achieve that goal without proper focus on just where it is I place each step on my path.  Whatever it will turn out to be, it will be and I realize its my job only to show up, fully present on my own journey and hold a measure of respect for the lessons that others are learning here too.  So, off I go then.  May your journey be blessed with peace, patience, accurate perceptions, courage and love dear souls.  This life is a beautiful journey, your own lives are blessed with twists and turns, climbing and resting.  Enjoy every aspect and count your blessings more than resenting what you think you lack.  Everything you truly need is already within you.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random internet find)

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