Changing Tides

Adrift on tides of emotion, I watch again the clouds roll in.  A quiet, warm and protected time of deep thoughts and memories finds me. I sort through them understanding some, at a complete loss contemplating others and wondering why they should come unbidden all at once in this moment.  The air is so thick today, at least it seems so.  Is it merely the humidity of a passing summer storm or is it something more...a product of deep thought?  Again I walked along the veil last night in a vision of emptiness and every-thing-ness.  I sent my thoughts out far and wide because I no longer wanted them.  I wanted only to feel what it felt like in my own soul.   It felt ageless and peaceful, knowledgeable and wonderful and yet these words mean nothing to a soul.  It doesn't matter whether I find a way to comprehend what I experience here now or thousands of years from now.  Time is only meaningful to those in a body but beyond that it means nothing.  But I'm here now, in a body, in a realm or is it a dream?  I only know that more than anything in me I wanted to come here.  And even though here in this dream I stand, I begin to see the error of my ways. To rest the biggest part of a soul, the impetus for being everything you've been because it is no longer necessary and never was is well, a strange realization.

This world and her peoples are not in need of saving, they are in need of love and understanding, compassion and freedom...permission to be who they are and a space free enough from judgment for them to fully realize and remember why they came here.  No one can give them these true life sustaining things as meaningfully as they can give to themselves.  But, it's a long lonely stretch of life's pathways to come to this conclusion.  So, what then for those who can see and yet are powerless to assist?  I don't know.  We live and breathe, I suppose.  Some of us came here too with a sense of service so strong and compelling it overrules all rhyme and reason.  What happens when you take away a soul's sense of purpose or a soul realizes that purpose is not required?  It isn't always a slow, agonizing fate worse than death.  In those moments a soul is free to create within this realm, this frame and lucidly dream their dreams.  It's a beautiful albeit an interesting shift in thinking that is required to embrace the possibilities.

It isn't easy to accept the premise that all is as it should be, choices are made or not and no one has the right to step in and circumvent choices except maybe where one soul's choice results in the over-imposition of it's free will on another who is not accepting.  I still wonder what a mender of souls would do with no souls to mend?  What does a painter do with no more art left to paint or a photographer with no camera? There is a need within for a certain kind of expression that is no longer required so what then?  I just don't know but I am not limited by the usual and typical thoughts of this realm and, so, I think I shall just live and enjoy the sunrise and sunset - feel the pure bliss inside whenever I catch a glimpse of the stars in a pure black sky.  Sometimes what we think we are is not what we are to become and it is in the becoming that there are so many beautiful and indescribable things at work.  So, I must search deep within for that which also calls to me and engage in thoughts along different lines and create differently for the sheer joy of creation.  Receiving inspiration is a beautiful experience and I am grateful for the awareness that allows me to tune in.  I think I shall spend the rest of my days counting blessings and rainbows, the myriad of colors in sunsets and sunrises and maybe the birds I've seen spreading their wings in free flight.  Yes, a retirement of sorts and a freedom there too whether not I can fully appreciate it as yet.  I laugh and I cry but I'm grateful for a change in direction. So be it.

If you seek to understand your true purpose, you will find it.  If you are open to the truth that comes back, the conflict within you will rest.  You are infinitely powerful when standing in your own love and light so, go be beautiful precious dreamers. ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)