Thursday, May 31, 2012

Contemplating Purple

I sat quietly on my patio tonight.  To my immediate left was a small terracotta pot that I planted a tiny deep purple daisy bush in many months ago.  The poor plant barely made it through the winter and was looking so frail and lifeless.  I spent a lot of time with that plant over the past few months just sending my appreciation for it’s beauty.  I watched it come back from the brink of death and it began to bloom again.  Not satisfied, I continued to spend more time in the evenings sitting next to it, sending it love and all of the blissful thoughts and energy I could muster.  I noticed tonight that the purple color of each of the flowers has deepened.  It’s also so full of life and blooms that you cannot see the little pot it’s planted in at all.  I was captivated by just how beautiful it was and I gently stroked a few petals here and there.  I suddenly wanted to meditate and did for a few moments.  I felt so much peace and the amazing thing is that peace seemed to emanate much stronger on my left side than my right.  Even more amazing was that I suddenly felt my left arm tingle as if one of the flowers was stroking my arm.  Okay, I know it’s a stretch but it was a beautiful thought just sitting there deeply entranced in shear appreciation and then feeling it come back to me.  

I wonder about the application of this very simple concept.  If we spend a lot of time nurturing ourselves, others, situations and whatever else is our focus, if we send love and expect nothing in return, if we gave just for the joy of giving and felt nothing but gratitude just for the opportunity to give and to witness transformation…what might we discover in this world in terms of our power to consciously create?  Hmmm, for now I’m sticking with plants.  I’ve got a little ficus tree that isn’t looking very happy.  I’m going to move it over to my flower garden next to the beautiful purple daisies.  That plant is so filled with love I’m just certain we can bring the little tree back to life too.  I love it when I feel a deep appreciation for anything in nature and then it responds with a glorious display of color, light or even simple peace. ~sigh~  I love this world.  I just love it so much.  I don’t care if it’s hard.  I don’t care if the lessons sometimes make me cry.  I don’t care if sometimes it feels like I’m on my own with not another soul in sight who understands me and my crazy mental meanderings.  I laugh at these thoughts realizing they are just an illusion.  The truth is that my feelings only stem from thoughts that I create and allow to exist.  So, I think that I shall acknowledge the challenging thoughts and thank them for showing me such beautiful contrast to joy and peace and I will do the same for pain, emptiness or that feeling of alone.  These are more beautiful things to teach me in contrast to look higher or deeper for the truth.  Love is such a powerful tool and gratitude the beginnings of love at it’s core is just, well, amazing.

Find something wonderful to love and if its not wonderful, make it so and love with all your heart.  Experiment with this feeling and notice just how truly powerful the emotion is in terms of creation in this beautiful world.  Your results, no doubt, will be pleasing, amazing and undeniable joyful!  Be blessed dear souls.  I’m off to go sit in my garden some more and contemplate the beauty of the color purple!

(c) 5/2012 photo/words Jaie Hart

Mirrors - Vid blog

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Tiny Speck in the Universe

Something in the air seems to have changed but I can’t quite put my finger on exactly what.  I took a short walk on my lunch hour today.  I was surrounded by the proverbial concrete jungle with tall glass skyscrapers and manufacturing buildings everywhere I looked.  In the distance, the sound of the 405 Freeway hummed loudly with busy travelers no doubt focused on their destination unaware of the journey they were in that moment taking.  Not resonating well with this limited perspective, I shifted my presence and then my gaze and found a beautiful tree in the middle of a parking lot.  It was beautifully green with an abundance of leaves  etched in fine golden light and it’s aura unmistakably glowing against the backdrop of a deep and clear cerulean sky.  When I fine tuned my perspective a little more, I could hear the birds singing and happened to notice a briar patch serving as home to a nesting pair of mocking birds.  I stood motionless when I saw them as I knew they could not keep quiet long.  I was not disappointed mere moments later when they picked up a beautiful tune seemingly just enjoying the sunlight and the tasks at hand.  Just like me today, just enjoying the sunlight and my tasks at hand.

I’ve decided to reel in all of my far reaching thoughts and keep them a little closer to home and for good reason.  Stretching the mind far and wide with impossible thoughts as much as the imagination will endeavor can cause a soul to lose focus on the journey.  There are aspects of an outstretched and open mind that are just so beautiful to experience.  I must admit that I am guilty of often letting my mind wander where ever it will seeking out great mysteries of creation to contemplate or diving so deep into gratitude and sheer appreciation for life.  I’m certain that at times I must look half crazy walking around the city looking up at the birds and the trees with a huge smile on my face.

Continuing my walk I came to the corner of a very busy street where my building was located.  Some think the city is awful with all of its manufactured steel and glass but I was standing on the corner tuning out the sounds of the cars and focusing on a giant building covered in every square inch by mirrored windows.  Those windows reflected a beautiful fountain running below, the trees artfully place around its campus and even the sky.  I walked a little closer and I saw my own tiny reflection in the glass.  I looked so very small reflected in the giant sky scraper and I realized what an amazing metaphor for life I had just visually stumbled upon.

Life is vast, amazing and the Earth…so very large and beautiful.  When I think of me in comparison to everything else, I can’t help but laugh.  I am a very tiny being when you consider my stature on the face of the planet and then moving further out, an unrecognizable speck in an endless universe.  It feels good to be a tiny little speck of existence today.  When I consider all of the amazing aspects that all of existence contains and I realize I am a part of a living breathing whole of an organism I don’t have the proper framework to fully understand, I get excited.  Why?  Well, that means I have so very much to learn and I’ll never ever really suffer boredom or dull routine and complacency.  I came here to experience life and to learn about this world and this little corner of the galaxy and I intend to do just that.  I was so happy in my thoughts I nearly lost track of time.  My cell phone was ringing concerning some prep work for a meeting I was about to attend back inside under the dreaded fluorescent lights.  Ugh!  Speaking of the tasks at hand, I realized I had to get back to it.  As much as I’m grateful for the beauty in this world I am also grateful for those tasks I agreed to participate in no matter how mundane or difficult they might seem to be.  I’m lucky in that I work with some amazing souls and we’re in the business of helping people within the framework of Corporate America that we find ourselves in.  I love that!  I sigh a little as I begin the walk back to my building.  Just as I reached the back door, I paused a moment taking in more blue skies knowing a few of my favorite souls are out there walking under that gorgeous sunlight.  That made me smile.  I sent them all the love in the world I could muster in that moment, took a deep breath and then let it out very slowly.   Back to business I went, recharged, ever hopeful and ready to keep on making a difference everywhere I can.

(Photos are random internet finds and I do not own the copyright to them).

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Beauty of a Moment (Extended Version)

I cannot describe the immense feeling of peace that has completely over-taken me these past few days.  I’m not sure I can pin point the moment it occurred.  I was deep in meditation one night a few weeks ago and I pushed past a barrier that has been with me for the last 18 months and once I made it through to the other side of the void, a warmth radiated from the center of my soul and in those moments the most intense feeling of love I have ever known came into my present awareness.  It never left me.  There are moments where I get busy and focused on my daily routine and I do not notice it as much but I’ll hear a simple tone of the vibrating energy of it and it brings me right back to this feeling of immense light and great peace.

This morning I was sitting on my back patio sipping coffee and watching big patches of puffy white clouds crawl gently across the deepest cerulean sky I’ve seen in a very long time.  At the same time I noticed the air was very cool and absolutely delicious.  I happened to catch the rays of the sun flashing opalescent light across the clouds and I realized I had never seen clouds look so beautiful in the sky.  I sat there for long moments just watching and feeling so much peace.   I let go of every other thought in my head but those focused on the pure bliss and joy in that moment and I swear I felt as if I were in heaven.

That same feeling of love and gentleness has surrounded me all day long.  I drove by the coast this evening and watched as the Earth turned gently away from the sun.  As it seemingly sank into the ocean, the gentleness of the colors in the sky grew so intense and the sun seemed larger than ever I’ve seen it, more radiant, more golden and more powerful than I’ve ever noticed.  I just sat there and smiled.  There was nothing else to be done in a moment while experiencing such great beauty.  In that moment I sent out a wish across the globe that this love and the energetic essence of this beauty might be captured in some way by others on the planet.  I sent loving thoughts of bliss and comfort to every single soul I knew and almost as if in reply, the tones of energy I could hear and feel grew in volume and I was literally swimming in pure joy just to be alive on this Earth.

There are challenges that we all face as we live our lives but if we can find but a small moment now and then to see the beauty in this amazing creation called Earth, some amazing things begin to happen within your soul.  Just like a memory upon recall, the feelings of joy, happiness and bliss can be called to you as well.  When you can learn to hold these moments ever and ever longer, you start to make sense of things that didn’t add up before, you start to better understand your place in this scheme of existence and all of the trivial things you once spent energy on giving in to false importance seem to suddenly fall away.  When there is no past you regret nor hold anxious feelings for and there is nothing in the future that your heart or mind pines away for, you are left in the present so free and in such a clear flow of consciousness that it is beyond stunning and beyond amazing.  In fact, I do not want to distract myself from these feelings any longer.  I wish to take this feeling and energy out under the stars and just watch them sparkle and shine in a quickly darkening sky.  Where ever you are and whatever it is you find yourself doing - - may you feel the love, the light and the beautiful energies of life.  Be blessed dear souls.  Higher love and greater understanding is on it’s way to all in some form.  Enjoy!

(c) May 2011  Photo from NASA.

Friday, May 25, 2012


A month in pure solitude outside of working and family interactions has brought me much clarity and I find the peace to be all consuming in a truly beautiful way.  It is a beautiful thing to go within and seek understanding…to get more familiar with the sensation of being inside of your own skin and understanding one’s own thoughts.  It is no easy thing, mind you.  So often we seek to fill our time with anything but experiencing the presence of self.  However, until we understand what it feels like to be fully present within our own bodies, becoming familiar with our own energies and learning to breathe smoothly and easily, we will miss beautiful opportunities to just be.

I find I am enjoying this time immensely.  I have yet so many memories to understand and understand them, I will.  An observation came over me yesterday while driving into the sun.  Whether my memories are from thousands of years ago or 10 years ago, there is still a somewhat disconnected sense to them.  I’m trying to understand this sense of disconnection.  I mean, I can see and feel them…experience them and I smile but I do not live through them.  They are engraved in time and space now and I do not need to cling to them for dear life in order to find myself.  All the emotions and feelings as well of thoughts coalesce into who I am now in the present.  Realizing what has come before in the distant and recent past I find greater awareness in the memories but I am not so attached to them and reminiscing over them that I cannot be free to move about in the present.  I have had beautiful experiences and each one leaves an indelible mark upon my heart, my psyche and soul and yet, I am free from them – free from who I was and now in the present I am unhindered in my ability to consciously create with much greater understanding.

In all my soul-searching I find great strength, courage and conviction overtaking any form of fear, worry or disappointment.  There are no opportunities lost and we hold ourselves too tightly sometimes in that regard.  “Should have, Would have and Could have” are dangerous thoughts for a soul to have in any now moment that comes upon them.  Do not hold them and look back not in regret for things that did not continue knowing that all has always occurred according to your life's plan.  Your lessons have come seemingly at great cost sometimes but know that cost was perfect in the development of your soul.  Navigating the seas of sorrow and pain reconciling lessons is a difficult journey but it is also a very beautiful journey when you are open to seeing who and what you really were and how that leads up to who you have become.  In every second of our existence we have the opportunity to embrace greater knowledge, higher love and oh goodness, beautiful light and energy that permeates every single thing in our existence here.  We get so caught up in the trivial at times but even that is a willed-distraction from our true purpose.  It’s okay.  We eventually come back to ourselves if we are but willing to find our own light and courage and stand in it regardless of the judgment that comes from misunderstanding souls trapped in the prisons they have created for themselves.  We create prisons sometimes but the key to freedom is always in the heart and the mind that is connected always to the All of Everything.

I feel as if I have slept for Eons and I yawn and stretch well rested and so very ready to contemplate a new journey in my sphere of existence…this journey will be filled with curiosity, holding strong to only those assumptions of positive intent, choosing what I will and will not participate in very consciously and knowing that all I ever need to know will come to me when I need it most.  Life, love, light – these things are so tightly interwoven into every area of my existence.  I didn’t see before and now I do and the bliss consumes me and keeps this smile on my face.  I feel like a child in a toy store – so many things to explore and learn.  Life is truly beautiful dear ones.  Find the beautiful spaces in your existence – in your lives and put all of your focus there on expansion of the feelings the beauty so willingly gives you.  Create your dreams so very consciously and drink in the delicious experiences laid out before you and watch in awe as new ones ever unfold before you.  Enjoy this life as you were meant to.  Lighten up and learn to play and enjoy and also to see this world with child-like curiosity and wonder.  It’s worth it to endeavor to engage in this particular perspective.  Be blessed.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random internet find)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Nerdy and Kooky Meanderings

Time holds no meaning when you have found a state of bliss.  Life accelerates and slows down dependent upon your state of flow with all that is.  When in painful moments, time slows down.  When you are wanting, yearning or crying, it crawls.  When you're having the time of your life, the hours go by in mere seconds.  It's funny when you think about it and when you dig a little deeper than that you might even realize that you have right there in front of you evidence of how powerfully your mind can create with the right impetus of emotion and powerful positive thought (energy) behind you.  We don't think about a lot of things that perhaps we should.  But, then again, everything in its own good time I suppose.

When you can time travel, time starts to lose it's meaning a little bit.  When you can look back and pinpoint your very origins in time and carry forth your consciousness to the present and then divide it by the various dimensions your thoughts and consciousness exists in, well, time becomes irrelevant.  Yet, here in this frame, time is everything.  Time is running out.  Everything runs by the clock due to work, school, obligations and well, the list goes on...but time - it exists because we do but it is not static in the way that we think.  I think traveling backwards in time is easy because our conscious experience is recorded some how in the space we once existed in or maybe, perhaps, we exist there still.  I just don't know - all I can really speak from is experience and I need no time machine.  My memories are as real upon experience as the sensation of my fingers gently tapping out letters on my computer right now.

So, for those of you fearful of gray hair and wrinkles indicating your time is running out, relax.  You aren't the bodies your souls inhabit any way.  That's not to say you shouldn't fully enjoy and appreciate the experiences you are having but you see the existence we create in this frame has the limits that we have all mutually agreed upon.  That means that we are here in this frame for the span of a dream elsewhere and then, well, we are not here but elsewhere.  In my last article I wrote about my own experience with my consciousness existing beyond my body.  My heart stopped and I was out of my body and yet fully conscious in a very liberating way.  There was such a great sense of freedom, expanse and unlimited sensations of reaching father than the limits we are used to within our bodies.  I've read about the experiences of others traveling outside of their bodies and I once doubted the plausibility or validity of such experiences until I had my own experience.  I've had several still after that even-- that didn't involve anything so traumatic as my heart stopping.  Rather, I've had the experience of going back in time and reliving both beauty and tragedy, love and anger, lack and abundance all in the span of various lives.

I don't write much about this aspect of my nature as I always hated the idea of being labelled a Kook!  But, I find as I get older, I just don't care any more.  Label me away and I will always know the truth about me and nothing in this world defines me but the thoughts I hold about myself.  I was created by a single thought and that thought, the Source, gave me free will to think, be and experience this world and others as I so choose and I do choose.  I love life in all of its forms, from the myriad colors to the full spectrum of emotions and corresponding energy.  More important than any other experience I can convey is that I love!  I love and I am loved.  These two things - the ability to both give and receive unconditional love - well, learning these was worth every bump, bruise and scrape of some very serious uphill climbing for a very long time!  Live and learn.  Hey, that's what we're here for.

Enough of my kooky mental meandering for this evening.  I'm tired and need to get to meditation before I get too sleepy to do it.  There is only so much Discovery Channel a single woman can take any way (oh yeah, add nerd to the list of labels - Yeah!)  I hope that every one of you out there reading this post walks away with one thought (other than Jaie is a Nerdy Kook - hahaha).  Seriously, the thought is this - be who you are...explore this life fully with curiosity, an open mind and a great love for self and life.  When you can do this, life gets richer, more beautiful and infinitely more rewarding.  It's true.  It's really true.  Be blessed!  Much love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (Photo is not mine but gorgeous)

Softly Enfolded

I was driving home into the sun like normal and the traffic was ugly as usual but I was someplace else the entire drive.  A memory struck me and took me back to a single moment in time.  I don’t know why it was that I should be pulled out of my present day reality and taken to this one particular point in my past.  Well, except maybe there is a familiar feeling that has come over me lately and it resonates with that one memory.  It isn’t all that pleasant recalling the details of what lead up to that one moment in time.  It was just a tough moment in life all-together for me due to, of course, my own choices in life but everything did eventually turn out alright.  

I was 8 months pregnant and on my own.  My two oldest children were with their father and I was alone that summer.  It was the way I wanted it for reasons I could recall that resonated deep within me but won’t belabor here.  I missed my daughter and son terribly and spent way too much time trying to figure out how in the world I was going to support 3 children on one income in Orange County, California – which is not the least expensive place in the world to live.  But I knew some how I’d get through it.  I had spent the whole day alone, writing and gazing out the window at the sunlight playing on the leaves as the warm summer breezes blew in off the coast.  I felt then something wasn’t quite right.  It was in the way I was noticing the beauty on a hot and dreadful day in July.  But I let it go.
I went to sleep that night easily if even uncomfortably and was awakened by a very strong contraction not more than an hour later.  I somehow managed to get myself back to sleep when I was awakened by another and then another.   I called the baby’s dad and there was no answer.  The contractions were getting very close together and very strong.  I called my best friend who lived 40 miles away but who said she’d be there for me if I needed her and I REALLY needed her.  I told her to meet me at the hospital because I didn’t think I could wait for her to get here.  The contractions had been quite regular for several hours by this time.  I grabbed my purse and my car keys wondering if this was the worst idea in this moment I could have but having no spare cash for a cab and having no one close by family wise to call, I drove myself to the hospital.  Thankfully, it wasn’t very far and when I felt a contraction, I pulled over until it passed and then continued on to the hospital.  It was somewhere around 2:00 am.
When I arrived at the hospital I experienced the normal hustle bustle of the maternity ward.  Insurance information was given in between contractions and they brought me to a room and hooked me up to every wire in God’s creation, it seemed.   I was scared being there alone but knew that soon I wouldn’t be.  This sense of something not being right wouldn’t leave me but I put that aside when the doctor came in.  He advised that I was in pre-term labor and they really needed to try to stop it.  He said they were going to give me some Terbutaline and that it should stop the contractions and with a little bed rest, we could prevent delivery for a few more weeks.  I agreed  and then at about the time, my best friend arrived.  I was so happy to see her and feeling so blessed someone was there.  The nurse came in and gave me the injection and then in moments I learned why the bad feeling had come over me earlier.
I could feel the medication enter my system and immediately felt hot like we were standing in the midday sun in the middle of the Mojave Desert in August.  A few minutes more and I looked at my best friend and said I didn’t feel right and I remember everything going black  and silent like I was passing out, only I never lost consciousness.  Interestingly, all I saw was black and I knew I was no longer in the hospital room or anywhere near the hospital.  I immediately  knew I was somewhere else and that I did not have a body at all.  I was in a state of pure consciousness.  There was no light and there was no sound but I was aware and conscious wondering what had happened but not particularly troubled by it at all.  Suddenly a light seemed to play before my eyes and I began to hear an energy presence but it never spoke to me and only observed me.  In the light before me the themes of my life played one right after another in rapid succession and I re-experienced every emotion that went with every scene as if it were happening for the first time.  Although I had no real sense of time, by my thoughts it felt like 30 minutes to an hour had passed.   When the scenes stopped playing before me a ‘voice’ or presence spoke that I did not hear but rather felt that asked me, “Are you ready?”  I had this sense about me of “Well, now what?  I don’t have a body, I’m here in the dark, I’m so done with the path I was on so sure, I’m ready.”  But, I didn’t understand what that meant.  The voice asked me one more time, “Are you sure?”  Just then two little faces appeared before me, my 9 year old daughter, my 3-1/2 year old son and the unborn child in my body that was somewhere.  Up until that moment I had been completely at peace, no ego, no worries, no cares, just curiosity about where I was and what might come next.  I was ready to leave the pain of the world behind me and move on until I saw their faces and remembered the promise I made to each of them, “I will be there for you.”  I felt so much love in that instant that it overwhelmed me completely  and I was suddenly pulled back into my body, back into the noisy hospital room with blips and loud voices and back into a very uncomfortable body that felt so strange.  I wanted to hold my children all of them and at the same time, I wanted to go back to the peace and the quiet of the dark place I had just been.
When they stabilized me and took me to a private room for the night and all the nurses and my friend and baby’s dad who showed up sometime either just before or just after the code blue left, I was completely alone again.  I struggled so much with my thoughts about what had happened.  I didn’t know at the time that my heart had stopped.   I only knew that something knocked me out of my body and I was some place in between here and elsewhere trying to decide if I was returning home in the next world or coming back to this one.  I cried the whole night overwhelmed with emotion, frustration, a sense of missed opportunity and also an incredible amount of pure gratitude that I was going to get to deliver my promise to my children. 

That feeling returned to me today along with the memory.  That feeling of being softly enfolded in love and warmth, that feeling of pure peace, beautiful bliss and the complete joy  and gratitude…all of these feelings have been so much a part of every day for me lately.  Like then, I’m not really sure what’s happening but it feels good, damn good and it’s about time too.  I’ve had a long string of lessons and I swear it feels like I’ve descended into the darkness of hell for about 7-10 years and have only now returned to the light.  So much of who I have been has been left behind me in my travels and yet, at the same time, there is so much of who I really am that I have finally and ultimately recovered.  It's funny, as I sit here writing this right now, that very same presence that was with me that night is here.  I can hear it and feel it in this moment.  My thoughts are in need of trailing off for now to bask in this feeling of pure bliss and joy and experience the fullness of whatever it is that needs feeling just now.  Be blessed dear ones and know that everything happens for a reason.  There truly are no coincidences, mistakes or accidents in this world.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (Photo is a random internet find)

Sunday, May 20, 2012


I watched the sun set eclipsed by the moon tonight.  I even shot a few pictures in between huge  low clouds that rolled in from the coast.  I wondered quietly as I watched how many people over the eons might have watched this very natural phenomenon and thought it a portend of all manner of terrible things.  It’s interesting I guess when we witness things we have no context or framework around.  I mean, how can we see the things that we sometimes see and know that ultimately we’re going to be okay and that its not the end of the world or "end of times?"  I guess that is where faith comes in and having that inner knowing that no matter what we see or come into contact with, we will ultimately be okay.  We are not these bodies we inhabit and we are not the mind that thinks fearful and worrisome thoughts either.  We are souls experiencing a dream here on Earth. 

We’re going to see a lot of things in our time (just like all the other beings in any other time in history) and although we think ourselves unique in our perspectives and so very wise, know that there isn’t that much new under the sun in terms of how we operate within this framework from the beginnings of our civilization until now.  We're not smarter, better or more ingenious than those who came before us.  We have technology but in our hearts, we are the same.  It's interesting to me hearing about exlipse and 2012 and the end coming.  Every age thinks the end is near because the dooms-dayers have predicted it thusly.  Well, think of it this way, for whatever reason, those folks are called to go public with what they believe as the truth.  You can hardly blame folks for doing what they think is right but even if, even if they were right, ultimately we’d still be okay.  We may not inhabit these bodies for all that long in the scheme of things but our souls live on, continue learning and continue growing.  That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be cautious when appropriate, careful, grateful and appreciative of life.  We should be.  There are things that we can do here incarnate that we cannot do in the form of pure consciousness.  I assure you, THAT is a different and more challenging experience (and I speak from experience).  We may experience tragedies real or imagined, but we wanted to be here and so, here we are.

So, well, the sun has completely gone down and the sky grows even more dark.  The sky can still be seen in between patchy clouds.  As for the things I can’t see, I’m hopeful I’ll learn enough to recognize certain things I now do not clearly understand.  But, for now, I am content with this world and my place in it.  It’s a beautiful world and now, for me, something even more beautiful.  It is time for me to commune with my beloved stars.  They mean more to me than I could ever possibly convey in mortal words.  I hope you find that one thing or anything in life that means that much to you, that moves you and stirs you deeply within your soul.  I really do.  May you be blessed always with great joy, bliss and the deepest love always.

(c) 5/2012 Jaie Hart, picture and words

Friday, May 11, 2012

Free Will

Free will – it’s not just some esoteric word we banter about in metaphysical or spiritual circles.  It is a law of integrity ingrained deeply within us all.  Disengage from any egotistical urges within you that prompt you to manipulate, take or impinge upon the free will of another.  Likewise, disengage from any souls who attempt to manipulate, take or impinge upon your free will.  Practical and common example:  Take any relationship (friends, family or romantic – whatever), a soul wishes to leave you and you throw a temper tantrum or guilt trips to manipulate that person’s free will in an attempt to get them to stay.  Another example, you have judged that only a certain action should be taken by another and you aggressively push that soul to do as you think is best forcing them into your solution or they may suffer your anger or hurt feelings.  These are gross impositions on the free will of another. 

It is not recommended that you stop this behavior because it’s wrong in a biblical or judgmental sense.  It is suggested that you consider disengaging from it to prevent negative energetic effects on your being.  Consider the positive energetic effects of showing others and yourself the utmost integrity and respect by demonstrating the honoring of free will-- both yours and that of others.  Consider creating a space of compassion and love for those who have not yet learned how to honor this very important law within this framework.  Do not judge them – but, rather, disengage from the negativity.  Consider always standing authentically in your own light.  Honor yourself by engaging in behaviors and actions that honor Source-given free will.  The moment that Source thought us into being, we were granted this beautiful gift.   Make every effort not to disparage it and you will reap beautiful energetic rewards.  Food for thought.  Blessings of peace, love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (Photo, random but beautiful internet find).

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Beautiful Lesson Learned

Sometimes life can be so hard.  I went for a walk in the sun light to collect my thoughts and to feel my own feelings on a few things of late.  Although some things seemed to weigh so heavily upon me, I saw a simple rose bush on the path up ahead.  Even from a bit of a far off distance, I could see the red orange glow around them as they stood there perfectly drinking in delicious sun light.  The glowing really captivated and resonated with me.  Despite the heaviness I seemed to feel deep within my soul, I could see glowing.  I looked around and noticed everything was glowing…the birds, the leaves and the sounds I heard took on a sort of haunting and ethereal echo that was more than beautiful.  I tuned into my own soul and I felt that everything was resonating today.  A strange connected moment descended upon me days ago and I realized that although I’ve not paid all that much attention, it still hasn’t left me.  I smiled despite it all and kept on walking and noticing.

As I walked I covered emotional territory within my mind and heart.  Sometimes in life we come to a place where our own free will impinges upon the happiness (seemingly) of others.  It’s no easy place to find one’s self in.  So, what to do…do you stand in your own light and follow the dictates of your soul or do you sacrifice yourself for the happiness of another?  In some things and for brief moments, I can find merit in such thoughts and actions but in others, I can’t.  The reason I can’t is that I know where such paths lead having traveled down them time and time again in my years this time, here on Earth.  So, I wander through my memories to a story I once read about in a book by none other than the amazing Don Miguel Ruiz titled The Mastery of Love.  In one part of the story (and I’m summarizing greatly), a man took all of his happiness in the world and gave it to the woman he loved.  When he placed it in her hands, she could not hold it and his happiness shattered.  The moral of the story was not to place your happiness in another’s hands.  We forget about this as we move through our human interactions and its hard so very hard for us all when we move through these roles with various players in our dream.  It’s all important with every word and scene leaving indelible imprints upon our hearts and souls and the lessons so hard to grasp sometimes.

I think for me that the only thing I am capable of doing is standing in my own light and being accountable for my own steps, my own love and my own happiness and others, well, they may chose the same or otherwise and I cannot take issue with that.  Free will is just that and it is never up to us to influence or impose upon the free will of others.  We must learn to live and let live and to let people be just exactly who they are.  We can choose to participate in what we wish to and we can choose to stop participating in those scenes of the dream we no longer wish to.  There need not be judgment but there almost always is.  That’s where a true and undeterred sense of self comes in very handy.  We engage sometimes, if even unwittingly, in inappropriate emotional warfare where the heart is involved.  Human emotion makes us do so many things.  But be that as it may, we each must walk our paths as we see fit and find a measure of compassion and understanding for the things we experience in this life even if we don’t want to.  We cannot control all of the world around us nor can we engage in any form of manipulation or control of her inhabitants…well, except for one…ourselves.

I am never happy when I know that executing my free will impinges upon the happiness of another.  However, I do know that I have the right in my life to take those actions concerning me that I see most fitting for me.  I trust myself and my intent enough to know that I never purposely set out to hurt anyone for any reason.  I can be judged, hated and despised for acting in accord with the dictates of my soul and as much as it may pain me, I still have to stand in my own light.  I will always do so for my own reasons and I never wish anyone any harm.  I guess I fall back on intent.  Was my intent to harm?  If no, I can be okay with my decisions.  If my intent was to harm, it means I have much homework to do in this life.  Either way, I will always apologize where my decisions and behaviors have hurt another and have done so every step of the way in my life.  I can do nothing more.  I fight so hard to heal pain and so, when I create it – it is not an easy thing for me. 

 I wonder how often it is that we have these soul contracts in order that we come together with our lessons and dreams and then maybe experience things we find most difficult on purpose.  When the soul contracts are fulfilled for good or ill, we move on and seek to try to understand the message and hopefully not create harm for the messengers.  I now see the messengers in my life in a whole new light and realize I must appreciate their execution of free will even though it hurt me.  I now understand and fully forgive.  I see now the truth of things, events and people in life who taught me the hardest lessons my heart has ever known.  The understanding is it – the energy of release – the glow.  When our thoughts align more with our true authentic selves we are rewarded in subtle ways that one may often over look.  But, if we stop and pay attention—feel the thoughts in our minds and where they resonate within our bodies, we can discern the truth about ourselves and every person we’ve ever come into contact with.  

I stand here tired, emotional and yet at the same time, I stand here in awe of the magic of this world, this life and all of its lessons.  We come for the experiences that we do create and so beautifully.  We are all script writers, casting directors, set creators and executive producers of this dream we call life.  Source, be with me am I so incredibly grateful today.  So many battles have taken their tolls upon me but none more so than battling my own self-doubt, fear and pain.  I look around once more at this light, the flowers glowing and hear the birds singing deep within my soul.  I wish to commit this moment to my soul forever—a tough but beautiful lesson learned.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Connected Moment

There are just those times in life that you command the ability to tune in very clearly to your own soul.  Most of the time we are unaware and don’t care to think of such things but sometimes it can be as important as breathing air.  Sometimes that “tuning in to the authentic self” can be quite revealing and show you things that you just couldn’t see.  Things and plans and even people can change in terms of how you perceive them and so can your own actions.  At times the things that seem most important turn out to be the tools for learning and when the lesson is learned, there comes a time for solitude, separation and quiet time for the sole (soul) purpose of pure and unadulterated contemplation.  I’ve run across such times periodically throughout my life and find myself in such a situation now.

There are things I thought I wanted and then once I achieved them, an empty aching took over my soul.  I paid attention to those inner feelings and I was lead to greater understanding of some things, at least in terms of me, my own life and my own purpose.  I am a gentle and very sensitive soul and sometimes find that I tune out way too many things that I really should be paying greater attention to.  But, I just didn’t know what was happening in my own being.  I know now but that doesn’t help much in terms of the things I had previously created and because of those creations pain has ensued.  It’s not a bad thing, pain underscores our lessons sometimes in order that we might really remember them.  It’s okay in the end even when it truly doesn’t feel okay.  Time and patience, more gentleness and understanding will bring the lesson home.  Sometimes that means letting some things go that might stand in the way of true understanding such as limited thoughts and beating one’s self up for not seeing things.

I stand quietly in morning’s first light giving thanks to the All of Everything – the Source, the impetus of thought that created me into being in this hologram and framework called life.  I am nothing more than a thought experiencing its own reality for the sheer purpose of the experience itself.  The colors, the images and the emotion all have purpose regardless of which form they take in terms of manifestation in my awareness.  But, I can dream and have learned that I can create within this dream.  Nothing is lost and everything matters even still if actions desire consequences.  Sometimes things are as they are so other things can come to be as they were meant to be.  Soul searching I gaze up at patchy clouds letting in a blue and pink tinged sky.  The sun makes her seeming ascent (it’s really only the world turning) and I stand here feeling the dichotomy of very small and insignificant along with incredibly vast and very powerful.  It’s interesting to feel both at once but everything has purpose – every inkling in our souls, every tinge of sensation in our bodies and every thought in our minds.

I breathe in the cool morning air and feel a solemn sensation – a seriousness of life but when I dig a little deeper, I scratch the surface of bliss for the beautiful energies in this life I have experienced.  Bliss, a connected moment yet again – I find I am feeling beyond all measure of gratitude for every soul, every word and every experience in all of my lives and not just this one.  The ones to come, I’ve had a sense of as well.   An interesting sensation and visuals, I must say.  But, enough of such thoughts for now.  I would really enjoy another cup of creamer with a little coffee in it (smiles) and I need to get a lot of things done today to find time to play.  I’ve got two little girls much in need of a picnic in the park and I so wish more than anything to give them the most joyful visit they’ve had so far.  It will be beautiful and I can’t wait.  I embrace this day.  I embrace every action I have ever taken.  I embrace every thought that has ever crossed my mind.  I embrace every emotion I have ever called into existence for me.  I am truly blessed.