Perfect Journey

The rising sun gives off an eerie glow behind morning coastal clouds.  I notice a stillness in the air as if it was a calm before a storm.  I realize this feeling comes from within and is only echoed without.  Sipping warm coffee in the cool of morning, I let my thoughts wander among my many memories.  So much have I learned in such a short span of time.  I will always find this world to be a great source of wonder and amazement but not more so than the people within it.  So many strive each day to get through the day not giving much thought to all the orchestration that goes behind all those things they manifest in their lives daily.  I think about it all the time.  In fact, it has become a near single pointed focus for me.  I see the things that I have created in this world...painful things, joyful things and wonderful things and feelings and it makes me smile.  To see the things I created in my sleepy lack of awareness, I wonder what will come from my conscious creations.

I wonder about the things to come but not too much.  Everything will happen perfectly and in perfect time.  I'm just as much focused on the present and what I'm thinking and feeling.  It feels a bit like free fall.  There are those moments in time where we stop trying for anything and just exist moving through the moments without expectation and with no design on any specific outcome.  I think that's where I am right now and thus the feeling of the calm before the storm.  I do not hold any fear in my being.  Storms don't scare me but some probably should.  It doesn't matter to me what comes next really, I just hope I've done a better job of eradicating needless fear from my life in order that I may create from a more positive place.

The people in our lives can seemingly make or break us sometimes.  If we hold around us those that are positive and uplifting, life takes on beautiful hues and amazing feelings.  If we hold around us those that are negative and undermining, life takes on this gray drudgery and difficult feelings.  I've done my best to move away from toxic souls.  I had collected many in my life through my own lack of judgment and I realized a little too late the detrimental effect they were having on my life.  But now, now all is calm and quiet again.  I can breathe again.  I am at peace once again.  I do so very much appreciate serenity.  I don't even care if ever I am happy again, as long as I can maintain this sense of balance and calm, all will be well as far as I am concerned.  I worry less about others these days and focus more on my own thoughts.  I want to make sure that somewhere inside I do not allow the thoughts to do what the toxic people in my life have once done.  Sometimes the negative thoughts of others can be infectious and we begin to doubt ourselves.  I'm grateful to say I won't enter those rooms again and the voices from there will be quiet so long as I give them no credence.  I know the truth about me and my purpose in this world and I must say, there is no greater joy that discovering who and what you really are. 

You sometimes need to walk through a few dark nights of the soul to gain that understanding and walk I did, seemingly for miles and days and years even.  But I always knew the light shined out there somewhere and I never gave up and I never gave in.  One day I awoke and found myself in a dream and in that dream was nothing but love and light.  I was elated to find I'd made it through the emotions left over from days gone by.  Being freed from the past creates a feeling of a drastically lightened load.  It feels good to be alive and wandering this Earth.  It feels good to look out into this world and once again find the beauty of it.  Its amazing to look out at the people making their own way through life and see what motivates them, what deters them, what creates in them a resonating feeling of love and joy.  If only those mired in the darkness of pain could find hope and healing.  In time, perhaps and then this world might change.  The state of the spirit, soul and mind - these things are so important and yet we forget or we're never taught.  Feed yourselves with love and light, fill your soul with those things you find most inspiring and relax a little right there in your own skin knowing that you, your life and this journey are perfect and the perspectives that  you once held can be exchanged for truth, reality and peace. ~Blessings for your journey.


(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Changing Tides

Adrift on tides of emotion, I watch again the clouds roll in.  A quiet, warm and protected time of deep thoughts and memories finds me. I sort through them understanding some, at a complete loss contemplating others and wondering why they should come unbidden all at once in this moment.  The air is so thick today, at least it seems so.  Is it merely the humidity of a passing summer storm or is it something more...a product of deep thought?  Again I walked along the veil last night in a vision of emptiness and every-thing-ness.  I sent my thoughts out far and wide because I no longer wanted them.  I wanted only to feel what it felt like in my own soul.   It felt ageless and peaceful, knowledgeable and wonderful and yet these words mean nothing to a soul.  It doesn't matter whether I find a way to comprehend what I experience here now or thousands of years from now.  Time is only meaningful to those in a body but beyond that it means nothing.  But I'm here now, in a body, in a realm or is it a dream?  I only know that more than anything in me I wanted to come here.  And even though here in this dream I stand, I begin to see the error of my ways. To rest the biggest part of a soul, the impetus for being everything you've been because it is no longer necessary and never was is well, a strange realization.

This world and her peoples are not in need of saving, they are in need of love and understanding, compassion and freedom...permission to be who they are and a space free enough from judgment for them to fully realize and remember why they came here.  No one can give them these true life sustaining things as meaningfully as they can give to themselves.  But, it's a long lonely stretch of life's pathways to come to this conclusion.  So, what then for those who can see and yet are powerless to assist?  I don't know.  We live and breathe, I suppose.  Some of us came here too with a sense of service so strong and compelling it overrules all rhyme and reason.  What happens when you take away a soul's sense of purpose or a soul realizes that purpose is not required?  It isn't always a slow, agonizing fate worse than death.  In those moments a soul is free to create within this realm, this frame and lucidly dream their dreams.  It's a beautiful albeit an interesting shift in thinking that is required to embrace the possibilities.

It isn't easy to accept the premise that all is as it should be, choices are made or not and no one has the right to step in and circumvent choices except maybe where one soul's choice results in the over-imposition of it's free will on another who is not accepting.  I still wonder what a mender of souls would do with no souls to mend?  What does a painter do with no more art left to paint or a photographer with no camera? There is a need within for a certain kind of expression that is no longer required so what then?  I just don't know but I am not limited by the usual and typical thoughts of this realm and, so, I think I shall just live and enjoy the sunrise and sunset - feel the pure bliss inside whenever I catch a glimpse of the stars in a pure black sky.  Sometimes what we think we are is not what we are to become and it is in the becoming that there are so many beautiful and indescribable things at work.  So, I must search deep within for that which also calls to me and engage in thoughts along different lines and create differently for the sheer joy of creation.  Receiving inspiration is a beautiful experience and I am grateful for the awareness that allows me to tune in.  I think I shall spend the rest of my days counting blessings and rainbows, the myriad of colors in sunsets and sunrises and maybe the birds I've seen spreading their wings in free flight.  Yes, a retirement of sorts and a freedom there too whether not I can fully appreciate it as yet.  I laugh and I cry but I'm grateful for a change in direction. So be it.

If you seek to understand your true purpose, you will find it.  If you are open to the truth that comes back, the conflict within you will rest.  You are infinitely powerful when standing in your own love and light so, go be beautiful precious dreamers. ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)