One of the things I miss most about him is the talks we used to have on hot summer nights sitting on my grandmother's porch. Dad would point out the constellations and talk about how absolutely ridiculous it was for scientists to believe we were alone in the universe. He thought of the universe as infinite and with infinity there are no limits to possibilities. He used to share with me his stories of UFO's throughout his life and he was very interested in Project Blue Book (I think there was a show by this title somewhere in the 70's or 80's). He wouldn't speak of evolution or creation. He thought they were both ridiculous. He believed that originally we were deposited by our friends from the stars. He always said he thought it would just be too random for life to develop to our level of sophistication from cells brought by water from a stray asteroid and if you mentioned the bible he'd look at you with this "just don't even get me started" expression.
He never spoke of the Sumerian texts so I don't know if he knew about them but I'm willing to bet he would have loved Zacharia Sitchen's work in interpreting them. It would have given him the validation he sought that we are not alone and that we came from the stars. I smile as I think about all of those conversations. They might have seemed silly to most but to me, they inspired in me the real need to push limits in thinking and to discount what we have been taught by main stream media and schools and to really just think for myself and take no one's word for anything. He taught me to research and study those things that interested me and that I could be and do anything that I truly wanted to be and do. Never once did he ever try to tell me a woman's place was barefoot, pregnant and continually cleaning a home. I wanted to be an astronomer when I was young and then it changed to an archeologist and he always supported me.
Life took me in a different direction and he supported me when I got myself a good corporate job, married and gave birth to my oldest daughter. He would call me at work sometimes and ask if I'd like to stop by his house for lunch and he'd make me my favorite sandwich. I loved that man more than I loved life but our lives were so hectic I never really got the chance to tell him. I know he knows now so I have no regrets and I feel him often when I'm out under the stars hearing him name the constellations...Orion and the way it points to Sirius was always a favorite. I can see that constellation right outside my door right now. That's what inspired me to write this little work of remembrance for someone so special to me and on the anniversary of his arrival here on Earth.
Our relationships here on Earth matter much. Realize that every single one is meant to teach you about life. My father died at age 48. Just two years older than I am now. He was too young to die but having raised both of his children, he considered himself done and returned home. Although I miss him, I support his leaving just as he supported me in all of my endeavors. The pain I feel when I think about it doesn't last long. The moment I miss him even just a little...the moment I shed a single tear...it quickly fades and is replaced by a smile. Imagining seeing him free elsewhere to roam and explore existence, brings me great joy. He is safe and so loved and always will be. Happy Birthday dad. Much love always!
(c) August 30, 2012, Jaie Hart (Photo, very fortunate google images find)
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