Participation Agreements

Craving the sea and feeling quite goddess-like, I donned a long flowing skirt with a bright turquoise camisole and headed for the coast.  The morning was misty and gray but quite comfortable.  I could taste the brine the closer I got to Pacific Coast Highway and the gorgeous and powerful Pacific Ocean.  The beach was empty except for the local surfers communing with the sea.  It was easy to find parking on a Thursday before 8:00 am.  I pulled in and could feel a rush of excitement.  I always get excited at an opportunity to come to these shores. Every time I see the shore it takes me immediately to Elsewhere and another beach somewhere in this space-time dimension construct that I walk near every night in my meditative visions and dreams.  That shore is a bit different than the one here at the Pacific.  For one thing, the sky is almost always near pink and pale but so beautiful and there are two suns instead of one and the beach is short coming down from cliffs of varying heights.  My beach is empty always. A place I go to feel the peace and stillness of solitude.  It is there that I commune with Source, the Angels and a dear loved one.

As I sit here now on this beach, long white sands ending in deep green blue water, scattered with lifeguard towers and surfers and an occasional visitor walking a dog, I wish I was Elsewhere and I guess, well, maybe a part of me is always Elsewhere.  How can something exist so strongly in my mind and heart always were I not there always, at least in part?  It must be real and parts of my mind questions this.  Regardless, I'm here and there and enjoying the peace, the breeze, the gulls, the sand, the coolness, the sound and the power of the rush of the waves.  Here and Elsewhere coalesce within me in this indescribable way and it feels as if my spirit rises up and out of my body and expands into everything in sight.  I can feel this place and it speaks to me in ways I just cannot define.  To try would cheapen it in some way.

I let my thoughts carry me off with the waves and the mist as they fall, spray and swirl in the Earth's gravity and motion.  I feel so solid in my skin and it feels so amazing.  Have you ever taken just a moment to stop your thoughts and feel what it feels like to be in your body beyond the aches and pains of Earthly life?  Have you ever felt or heard your own soul's energy as it exists in your body?  It's a beautiful sound and the most loving and gentle feeling ever.  When you put your focus there in such moments...on the sensations from within rather than without, there is this warm and pulsing energy, this finely vibrating source that provides an uplifting sensation from within the core.  Its more than amazing to experience and the really beautiful part is that it is those feelings that are there all the time no matter where you are or what you think or do.  If you only but still your mind and thoughts just one moment, you can feel what it feels like to truly be alive and it is so very alive that I feel just now.  I have no worries or cares that will not take care of themselves in time and I, well, I do have all of the patience in the world now knowing and understanding that I do not command this Earth nor its happenings on my time.  I relinquished those thoughts a long time ago and I no longer yearn to make things happen in a controlling or manipulative way in this world.  This world is rich with experiences and its our own thoughts that create our discomfort.  I cannot wish my life away and to do so would be such a waste.  I would rather sit and be still with my thoughts, create my dreams and patiently trust they will unfold exactly as they are meant to and until they do I have this amazing process of creation to thoroughly experience and enjoy.

I feel myself letting go a little more and a little more all of those things I once thought were important and begin reaching deeper within to embrace, as they unfold, those things that have much greater and long-lasting value to my soul.  These intangible things are hard to understand and even harder to properly define with the limited words so full of multi-level meanings that its pointless to define.  You have to feel it to know it and it's worth it to try.  To fade from the "I-ness" in this world from an egotistical perspective and embrace the "I Am-ness" that is broader, more connected to everything approach and then just, well, fade into that and become apart of it is an amazing process.  The truth is, we are never apart from that we just think we are and refuse to see the connections and strings we create to attach to people, places and things.  Those strings mean nothing but pain and anguish.  Letting go and fading into the all of everything brings peace, serenity and this sense of infinite possibilities in terms of creation.  But, you cannot take my word for this.  My words so inadequately define the meaning I'm trying to convey.  Just getting real quiet and opening up to something bigger than yourselves is what I'm trying to articulate a bit ineptly.  There is beauty in this world beyond what the physical eyes can see, beyond what the hands can touch and beyond what the ears can hear.   There is a silent reality that exists beyond, above, below, within and outside of these mere physical senses that you can only get to by opening this sacred place within you - this sacred place of pure receptivity and love.  If we could tap into this more often our lives would be so much more peaceful.

I realize as I write this that not everyone's path is designed to find and maintain peace.  The path of some are intended purely to disrupt and destroy it and thereby learning how to create within their realities.  If this doesn't resonate with you it may be time to update your participation agreement.  We can choose to participate in what we wish and choose not to participate in those things we do not wish.  It is a thought, a directive of focus that makes this so and an inoculation against the hooks of ego-gratification that pulls you seemingly unwittingly into the full force and effect of your participation agreements.  Disengaging any personal accountability for other's thoughts and feelings is an immunization against emotional tyranny, manipulation and control.  We are all accountable for our own experiences here and when we learn this, we will modify our participation accordingly.  And so it is this that has been a very long lesson learned with much struggle, resistance and ignorance on my part.  But now the truth has been revealed in the silence and stillness of my own core.  I don't have to participate any more in anything other than that I most wish to create in this world.  For me, it's peace, serenity, pleasure and love...promote healing and set out a lamp on the path for others who may be so inclined to follow the light into the depths of their own hearts.  It's a beautiful world and it's a beautiful life.  Thanks be to the Gods for my beach Elsewhere and here for on those sparkling tides within and without I have come to find truth - the truth I sought far beyond those termed universal, relative or provisional.  ~sigh~  May you find a measure of peace and truth as you make your way along the paths of your lives.  There are many lights to guide you...focus on those that resonate deepest within your soul and you will not be disappointed in your progress.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is not mine but a random internet find).