Friday, September 21, 2012

Thoughts on Soul Mates

So, how many of you get this dreamy-eyed look and recall the epic movies of the perfect romance and love when you hear the term "Soul Mates?"  Probably quite a few of you.  I do not mean to burst your bubble but the reality is a far cry from the fantasies portrayed in the movies and on television.  If you better understood what soul mates were, you might have different expectations and could, quite possibly, enjoy a relationship more for what it is rather than what it isn't.  I know it may be disappointing to hear this but take heart, it is not a death sentence to that perfect romance that you crave and picture inside your mind and heart day in and day out.  When you understand the mechanics of soul growth a little better, you will realize that you are always surrounded by soul family, soul friends and even soul mates.

So, consider the basics at this 50,000 foot level I'm going to give you (because if I don't do it at 50,000 feet, you'd be reading this in a book - a long one).  Our souls come here unaffected by this life but with the unresolved karma we carried with us from other lives.  I'm not going to dig deep into karma yet, that will come in another post.  So, stay tuned okay?  Environmental psychology shapes us for the most part and as we learn about and endure the pain we encounter in life, we all develop these walls and barriers around us from assumptions and the provisional truths that we have formed.  When two people come together with similar barriers as well as similar openings in those barriers, a connection is made and what do you have?  Yes, soul mate connection!  Okay, that was a very simplistic approach.  Now let's dig into why we have soul mates.

We all come here with experiences that we want to learn from and so we will attract those that can get through our openings.  Those openings we attract from can be pain as well as places where you are whole and healed.  We are here to learn and so, the way the framework is established at this point in time is that the emotion we carry within us from all of our environmental psychology, assumptions, wounds and weaknesses will draw to us (like a moth to a flame), those who can best help us understand and ultimately, transcend our weaknesses and wounds.  Soul mates are absolutely wonderful at that.  They can push every single button we have because they have them too.  They know themselves and were also attracted to you because of the things you could teach them.

A soul mate will seem to attract you at the level of the soul.  There maybe this unexplainable reason you feel completely drawn to someone.  In fact, there may be this ethereally registered acknowledgement when you meet and you might mistake it for perfect love but what you may experience is your worst night mare, emotionally speaking.  Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing but that really depends on your expectations.  Soul mates come to us to help us exercise our demons, look at more deeply our life lessons and dig deep into the wounds that cause us to react so deeply to the things that they do.  They can make us angry, make us cry, make us want to run away and hide forever but if you get past the superficial pain aspect of running into a soul mate, you might just figure out why you met.  There are those cases where you do perfectly match for a romance and you each are so secure in yourselves that you do not react negatively to the soul baring presence of a soul mate.  You actually can relax and try to begin to understand each other's presence in your lives and you can decide to learn.  There are many happily ever afters between soul mates and there are also sad tales concerning soul mates.

The cool part about soul mates is that there is no shortage of soul mates.  Did you know that a soul mate doesn't automatically refer to a romantic interest?  It doesn't.  You can have a parent, child, teacher, friend, co-worker, stranger or neighbor that is really a soul mate for you.  You just connect to them at a deeper level because your souls require either similar growth or opposing lessons.  Its actually a beautiful design.  I've met many soul mates in my life time.  Some were dreamy wonderful and some were down right heart breaking.  But, the lessons they all brought and continue to bring (for the ones still with me) are absolutely priceless.

So, realize that when you meet a soul mate that drives you absolutely insane, consider that you have an opportunity with this person to better understand what about them makes you crazy and what about you reacts to this and why?  When you can figure that out - demon exercised - done, next life lesson please?  It doesn't have to be traumatic and you didn't fail when it didn't work out and you had to part ways.  Realize that every person you meet has something to learn from you and something to teach to you.  A soul mate will end up doing this in a very personal way that hopefully you will one day fully understand.  A soul mate will seem to have a knack for testing you to your core.  Although uncomfortable, this really can be a beautiful thing.  You just have to understand the frame work and purpose for meeting...the growth and potential for transcending things that no longer serve you can be gained much quicker with a soul mate.  Its never simple and easy but its worth every breath and every step.

Think back to those who connected to you very deeply or that you connected to very deeply.  I am willing to bet that if you gave it some focused thought, you could come up with a list of very valuable things you learned and another list of very interesting or troubling things you just don't understand.  Don't worry about the latter - another soul mate will be along shortly to help you with that.  :)  You don't have to believe my words.  Look back in your own history and test them.  Who were those you learned most from in the positive and the negative?  I'm willing to bet they are a soul mate and at some point, when you fully understand all lessons, you will be grateful for the experience of meeting them even if it takes a while.

I hope I've given you some food for thought.  Blessings for your journeys beautiful souls.  May you find the light and the love in every interaction with every soul always.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate google images find)

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