It's hard sometimes when we come upon a cross roads where decisions must be made - Heart or Head - which will it be? I chose to follow my head this time contrary to my typical decision making and I do not regret it. It was what it was and to stay meant to hurt another that I could never hurt and yet to walk away meant possibly hurting another I could never hurt and there was no easy answer and this was no easy choice and through my tears I tried with all of my heart to see the direction I walked. All I knew was that it was away from a place in time that I stood - A place in time I have stood many times and well, I thought I could be free and I know that's what the other side of the dream would want for me, all things considered. But damn these dreams they keep haunting me and now in procession. I used to long for the nights because of this dream and curse the day because the dream ended. And now it is the nights I curse as well because there is no freedom for me in them. But I'll fight, oh yes I will fight because I have created this dream and now I wish to uncreate it. Not out of spite but out of the deepest strongest love in all of the universe and I will not fail. No, I will not fail. But these dreams make me weak and these dreams make me cry and I can hold them no longer. With all the intent, with all of the words, with all of the power of emotion I hold right now in this moment - if this situation cannot be changed from what it is right now in this moment then please grant mercy upon my aching soul and set me free of it completely in every regard right here and right now, please hear and feel the honesty of my truest wishes Universe of compassionate love.
I pause in the darkness and stillness once more. I return my gaze to Sirius twinkling violently in an indigo sky. Memories swirl from this life and other lives and I see them like smoke in the crescent moon's light and I beg the wind to carry them away for a time until I can stand to hold them again without this ache in my soul. And to the dream itself I beg, please release me completely on all levels and all dimensions as I release it in the highest regard, with the greatest of love and in the beauty of all that is good and light - I release you on precious feathered wings unto new horizons. I bid you a very fond farewell with the greatest love and great wishes for a peaceful and safe journey. Forgive me and so please now, let me be - set me free.
(c) Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)