Monday, October 13, 2008

Riding the Wave

I started a new job today, finished up as much as I could with the old one and saw all kinds of people I’ve missed a lot over the past year. My stocks are up by several hundred dollars, my living room is clean and the last load of laundry is done. These are great accomplishments for the day, more than most days, so why is it I feel so anxious? I just took a look outside and saw the reason for my discomfort. Although I love the full moon, the light it shines at night and the comfort in brings me to see it, I’m anxious at its arrival apparently. Tonight, I wish I could say I was at the mercy of my emotions. It seems that way on the surface but sadly I know better. I’m in a mood because I had high expectations for a happy and peaceful evening and those were not to come to fruition. Again, such feelings and thoughts are no one’s fault but mine.

So, I’m going to fall back and regroup…think a little differently. I decided to get comfortable. The dishes are done, dinner is cleaned up and the cat is fed and his box nice and clean. There aren’t any more chores that must be done this evening and I’ve got an hour and twenty minutes before I turn into a pumpkin. It’s challenging to face such emotions on what was an otherwise really good day.

On a distracting note, a friend at work pointed out there is a military air show coming up next month at Nellis AFB in Las Vegas and I think I’d like to go see it. Unfortunately, the quickest way to get there is via air. I hate the flight to Vegas. Although it’s a short flight, I hate how bumpy it is over the mountains. I’d rather drive it but I’d hate to drive alone. Being a mom, it’s hard to make plans that far into the future that cost money because something inevitably comes up and last minute cancellations are a high risk. Hmmm…I’d really like to go to that show. It would be great to see. It’d be easy to fly out Fri Night and fly back Sunday morning. I’m thinking about it. I wish I hadn’t missed the show in Mira Mar weekend before last. I got to see some of the planes but from a little ways away. I really love military air craft. I think I loved them from my first trip to Edwards Air Force Base. I remember walking around, seeing the shuttle, air planes old and new and watching the Blue Angels and thinking, “AMAZING!” That show definitely had a huge impact on me. I remember feeling the vibration of sound inside my heart as the jets flew over head and I was hooked!

Well, that was actually a very nice distraction because I’m already in a better mood. The challenge now would be finances. The flights are about $100 and two nights, depending on where you stay would be at least $300…meals, drinks, gambling, taxi’s and tickets for the show and I think I’ve priced myself right out of my budget. Oh well, I’ll definitely be waiting for the next CA show. I’ll have to check and see when that is and make plans to go!

Well, I am now much more at peace even though a bit disappointed about the Nellis show. I can always have Carlos bring me back a sticker (pouting) and stories about how cool it was! It’s not a big deal…really…budget and responsibilities come first and there is going to come a time that I will miss having those responsibilities to look after.

I’m going to go read a book for a while, in peace, in my room, where it’s quiet and things are put in exactly the place I left them in. It’s like my private sanctuary undefiled by children’s socks, toys or the little plastic straw wrappers that come off the juice box straws. I hate those things. They somehow find their way into mysterious places!

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