Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sea of Red Lights

Water color blue and orange sky paints a panoramic silhouetted view before me.  Darkness encroaches upon the day at last and I, motionless in a sea of red lights.  We are all motionless for this one moment in time and yet, I can feel the cacophony of thoughts flowing like a raging river all around me.  I take a deep breath as I watch the last rays of the sun slowly fade from view and realize how this pure moment of complete lack of motion suddenly seems as if it has all turned into slow motion.  Were it not for Lifehouse playing on my car stereo, I'd not know that time was moving at all.  Frozen we were, all together, something somewhere on our minds not realizing we are but a collective one expressing itself in an abundance of individual thoughts moving forward from our original impetus of the stars we see still moving outward from the big bang.

My mind drifts back through this past year and the things that I have learned.  They were valuable things, painful things and things I am most appreciative of.  I've learned at times I can be dumb and gullible but I can always trust my gut, my intuition and my feelings because they will always lead me to stand squarely within my own light.  I may commit a wrong but will always right myself.  This year I learned about the depths of manipulation that people unwittingly engage in for this or that that truly is not of any lasting import but they just don't know and will risk everything through the use of it.  I've learned about forgiveness this forgive others for the things that they cannot help, myself for the things I should have come to realize very long ago and I've learned to love myself despite it all.  I've learned in this world that some moments of happiness seem so fleeting and some moments of pain seem to encompass an eternity.  I've learned that there are angels on Earth who feel me as I feel them, who stand by with a loving thought, a healing heart or a steady hand just as I would also offer without a moment's hesitation in return always.  I've learned that everything is transient, impermanent and perishable except for one thing, love.  Love defies all the laws, the rules and programs.

I've come to realize a dream that has tormented me for most of my adult life can finally be let go of, not because I cannot seem to make it come true successfully but because a new desire emerges that is so deeply ingrained in my being that I care not for dreams any more.  The only thing that seems to hold any significance at all for me is to see and to recognize the light and love of Source in every single thing and person before me, around me and that I may have the honor to cross paths with.  Regardless of It's shape or It's form, It lives and breathes in every single aspect of this dimension and all others.  There is nothing more important than that love or that light and in this discovery, I find I am set free of the trap the dream held for me.  I find it almost unbelievable to think it but I realize that I no longer need it.  It was never meant for me because I would eventually come to this one conclusion and in so doing, set myself finally and ultimately free.

Years have seemed to pass in the length of one four-minute song and the red lights slowly dissipate and the sea begins to move nearly in unison and its my turn now to move with it.  One turn and I have separated from the sea of metal boxes and red lights and I finally and gratefully make my way home.  I pull into the drive and notice the sky has grown quite a bit darker.  The stars begin to sparkle and shine and the peace within me deepens in a way I never thought possible.  Returning to the peace, safety and sanctuary of home I realize what a blessing it is to free one's self from certain vexing desires.  Some dreams can be like a lead weight too tightly secured around one's neck.  Such dreams can never come true because they were never meant to and they were never meant to because one will soon discover something more important than a silly dream exists and one will be delighted so much to find it heart and soul within.  I'm not sure how the road shall twist and turn from here but I'm finally free I think now in whispers... I hope, I pray.  I want peace, serenity and to feel the beauty of this amazing world more than I want anything.  At the end of this day, I know that I truly want for nothing, I need nothing and have everything I could ever imagine wanting.  This sense of wholeness of purpose of being...a place not of complacency but wholehearted acceptance of what is never minding what may be.  Perhaps this is all just simple joy that the shortest day of the year shall come and go tomorrow without event...without event.  Dreams within dreams begin to seem like such silly things when there is love to be had by opening up one's soul to the infinite.  Maybe I've put in too many hours at the office this week and I've rendered myself silly and dizzy with such thoughts.  No matter, really.  At this treasured moment in time and within the clear fulness of my present perception of it, I have peace and love, hope and faith. That's enough for me.  It's really enough for me. ~Blessings beautiful dreamers and take heart.  Those things of the most import will always emerge not from the outside world, but from within the deep well of your soul that contains the true heart of you.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

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