Dreamers Dreaming a Dream

Life has grown for me so peaceful that I could hear a pin drop in this moment.  This, this fact is such an amazingly treasured gift from the heart of my soul.  Too many years of chaotic and rapid  learning and subsequent growth has propelled me into this state where I had become overly accustomed to organized chaos and controlled emotion on high.  I didn't realize how terrible it was until it all stopped and the silence, so deafening, gave me pause to truly breathe.  My mind reached for purchase in the familiar but the familiar was gone - chaos no more...insanity swirling drama creating people all gone.  I created them in my world for reasons I'm only now coming to fully understand and I smile now as I look back.  I have fond memories and terrifying ones but with greater perspective and the wisdom that comes when you finally remove all of those things that cover the truth - you realize you always held the truth.  Its never gone from the heart of your soul, only temporarily obscured by the happenings of human emotional drama.  The scenes we paint are amazingly real seeming.  But they are not real - not until you find the truth and the love and light that truly flows freely from that.

I learned that where anxiety and fear exist, there are heavy lies to uncover...there are those I'm being told about me and there are those I'm telling myself.  When you clear those all away with love and light only, understanding dawns and even on the darkest of days you smile because you are standing in the light of truth.  A lie cannot live where love truly dwells, nor can fear exist with true love in a soul.  These things are incompatible with love and light.  We feel these things in our souls and we just don't know.  When you tune in more acutely to the words swimming inside your own head desperately seeking emotion to attach to, you become the observer within the dreamer dreaming the dream and life becomes much more interesting then.  For a while at least and then you  may come to a point where the theme that has played out all of your life no longer holds any interest for you because you have finally understood it.  Then, when suddenly many themes close at once, lessons learned, finals taken and passed with flying colors there is the complete absence of emotion, motion and the peace becomes so palpable.  That's when you realize that beneath the layers of the drama you create to occupy your own mind, you are peace and serenity.  You are balanced and whole.  When you've spent your whole life fighting your own chaotic thoughts and then suddenly all root causes are vetted and ultimately resolved - what then?  What comes next?  What is there to learn when you've learned all of your lessons you struggled so hard with?  I can't tell you that because I'm standing in that beautiful space of completion, silence, stillness and peace.

I don't regret that not one bit but it will take me some time to get used to this beautiful bliss.  I wouldn't trade one second of listening for pin drops to echo across the field of my hearing.  It has welcome, so welcome.  I think I should like to sleep a thousand years and rest a bit - enjoy this peace so fully that I never for one second am ever tempted even remotely to trade it for one second of egotistical splendor.  No, never again.  That road has been traveled, re-traveled and then traveled again.  I think I shall pull this peace around me like the comforting blanket it is and settle into the stillness and get used to its grace.  Yes, that's it exactly.  And a thought does rise, well what then...what shall come next?  I don't really know but I hope it is learning in the absence of chaos those things I do not already know.  I've earned my knowledge and earned it well and the wisdom came with skinned knees and heart.  Thankfully, I'm still young enough to lean towards physical and emotional resilience.  Hmmm, resilience.  I like that word right now and will sign off on that note.  Thanks for perusing this night's mental meanderings.  I trust my words find you in good stead while you dream in this life and if not that you know the darkness and chaos can never last if you but do one thing - find the love inside of you and grab hold of it with all of your might.  It is the one thing in this life that will never ever leave you.  Only you have the power to shut it down, close it off or send it away.  I pray you never do that and if you have that you recover your senses and find it again post-haste.  ~Blessings of infinite love and light beautiful dreamers.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, beautiful random internet find)