See Through and Love Anyway

Three Libras, this song has so much meaning.  It really sets the mood for my thoughts today.  As always, I am a watcher and observer of things great and small and nothing makes me more curious than human nature.  Why you might ask?  Well, I too can be a peculiar creature sometimes and there are these themes that I have observed weaving through every single human interaction on the planet creating much discord and discontent.   How to put this so I won't get any hate mail (and those who know me would never automatically think the worst of me because what I do, I do out of a sincere love for all), but here goes...and I will try to be gentle.  So, one of the lines of the song I've included above says, "Here I go expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded and I see, see through it all see through, I see you."  I paused such a long time after typing those words not sure how I wanted to finish this thought.  However, it's a good thought - at least I think so and so I shall finish it this way:  We go through life expecting everyone to think as we do because well, we think the way we do and so, why shouldn't everyone else?  Nothing will cause you more frustration than this line of thinking in the application of understanding of others.  You see, not one soul on the face of this planet is truly like you.  No one has walked the miles in your shoes that you have, they have not suffered as you have, they have not loved as you have and they have not learned their life lessons the way that you have.  So, and I ask this gently, how on Earth can you possibly expect someone to do as you do or think as you do in any given situation?  If you want to stay sane and free from dire frustration all of the time you will ditch that concept inside of your head that says, "common courtesy dictates...blah, blah, blah."  It just doesn't work that way beautiful souls.

As you can well surmise, some folks haven't learned what you have learned and there are also those who know by far more than you know.  When you expect someone to know what you know and you become angry with them because they don't act, do or say something the way you were raised to or learned to or what have you, you are trapping yourself in a very nasty prison that will only lead you to much anxiety and disappointment in your human interactions.  So, think...the lyrics again, "Here I go expecting just a little too much from the wounded and I see, see through it all, see through, I see you."  I understand how you think and I understand your frustration.  I understand the wounds so many have suffered and how that suffering creates all these mini walls around who we really are, how that pain causes us to act, react, refuse to act, ignore, deny, transfer and project everything else but the truth on to every one and everything.

The reality is, you cannot expect a wounded soul to act as if they are perfect, whole and healed and not in some way be met with dire disappointment.  You also cannot rescue them and make them what they are not.  "So, then, what in the world can I do dear Ms. Jaie? I have to get along some how in this world, right?!!!!"  Yes, yes you do.  There is an answer to that question.  I will warn you, however, that the answer is both incredibly simple and yet may make you absolutely incredulous at the same time.  Do you want to know the answer?  Are you ready for that answer?  Are you willing to give up the frustration of trying to make everyone in the world like you? (It might make for peaceful interactions but how fun would the world really be if we shared every thought exactly the same way?)...Okay, enough with my rambling...on to the answer...Love people exactly the way they are.  If you are unable to do it up close, then do it from afar.

So many times in my own interactions I've expected very wounded souls who have a very strong penchant towards verbal abuse and other things many might judge quite harshly...and I was always disappointed and frustrated because I expected better of them.  I walked away missing an opportunity to love them just as they were and missed the opportunity also to love myself enough not to engage in their pain by owning psychological transference and projection that had nothing to do with me.  Should you decide to stand and come to terms with accepting others just as they are and learning to love yourself and them, I have a little story a friend shared on facebook, recently.  It has always been a favorite but I lacked sufficient knowledge when first I heard it to engage in any reasonable or practical application of the true meaning of it.

It's not a new story and I will sum it up this way, a man heard about the Buddha and sought him out to test him.  When the man eventually found the Buddha, he began insulting the Buddha.  After a time the Buddha asked the man, "If a gift is given but not received, who then owns the gift?"  The man responded, "The giver."  The Buddha said, "That is correct."  That ended the interaction.  Along with the earlier described concept - think - how many times do you accept such gifts?  How many times do you expect the gift giver to stop giving you what they want and instead give you what you want?  Did you know that you have the right not to accept gifts that you do not want?  Did you know you do not have to take the pain that the wounded give you?  Did you know that instead of becoming mired in the negativity and dire gravity of the whole - two wrongs don't make a right thing - you could decide not to participate.  It requires not one ounce of anger or animosity.  It requires no engagement in the drama.  It requires neither enabling nor accepting of what another is doing or saying.  It merely requires that you see in this world everything as a series of gifts.  Some of these gifts you will want and accept for the purposes of your own learning.  Others, you will not.  Rather than expecting things, people or situations to be other than what they are - try dealing with things the way they are, loving people and seeing opportunities for wisdom in surprising places.

Every single soul on this planet matters...the healthy, the whole, the wounded, the tragic...all of them matter. The rich diversity we all bring to the table in this amazing world is incredible beyond words.   If you need people around you that are more like you, then by all means - go find them.  If you need or expect people to change to be or think or do things more like you - YOU are choosing the gift of frustration and a series of tough lessons from the school of hard knocks...first row seat.  But even if you do choose that - it's okay if you don't mind it.  Continue business as usual if it doesn't bother you.  But, if it does, consider your choices, consider your expectations and then decide what you will or will not accept.  This is your life, live it, learn to find all of the love within it.  Realize that you have a choice.  All of the love in this entire, amazing and wonderful universe is yours to have and to hold.  So, have it - hold it.  What are you waiting for? :) ~Blessings of higher love dear souls!

(c) Jaie Hart (Above link and music belong to its creators - bless them for good tunes)