Solar Return

And yet another solar return comes to greet me and I find myself utterly delighted still to be here.  Forty-seven years have passed since I ventured to join the populace here and I can honestly say I regret not one single minute ultimately.  I’m reminded that we all have our time here and fortunately free will dictates we may spend it as we deem most worthy.  I’m sad a little when I think back to how I spent much of my time here.  There was this battle or that battle for nothing but pole position, status, stature or fending off the complaints of another’s illusions.  They were never mine for clearly I’ve often held my own to no avail.  Until now that is.

Another year older and hopefully at least a little bit wiser I realize just how much we create for ourselves here.  We are not some puppet dangled on strings held by some unknowable force we must fear to be ensured of a blissful eternity.  We are at the mercy of much out of our control but perhaps that is a beautiful gift and not a curse.  We have here at our disposal one of the greatest tools in the universe, love and another, compassion and yet another, gratitude.  These gifts are of immeasurable value and worth more than anything anyone could ever give you.  In fact, these things cannot truly be given for their full meaning to become completely apparent within us.  Each soul much find the truth of these gifts or tools in order for their lives to be forever transformed for good and yes I did say good and that is a bit of a judgment.  Without the ability to let these things well from deep within we are blocked, stagnant and stuck in one drama after another without any way to get out.  Not much fun is it being trapped in prisons of our own design.  A beautiful moment is it when a single soul on the planet sets him or herself free through this glorious understanding.

There is a maple tree just outside my living room window.  It’s old, tall and so very wise.  Its leaves are still at the moment soaking in precious life-giving sunlight as the sun makes its way up over the building across from me.  There is no sea breeze this morning which means it will be another hot day in paradise.  I long to hear the sound of the wind rustling in this beautiful tree’s leaves.  It’s like beautiful music akin to rushing water when I close my eyes.  I hug her when I know my neighbors are busy with other things because she gives so much to our little courtyard and her sister right across, another gorgeous tree that brings shade and emerald green to fill our field of vision daily.  Such simple things in life to appreciate have I and I’m glad.  Yes, I’m a tree hugger.  You can’t possibly be surprised. (smiles)

As I sit here in the quiet and yet growing light I realize that there has been much in my life that’s gone by underappreciated but I’m growing still and learning to understand ever more that which has vexed me to my core and crumpled me in pain for seemingly nothing have been my life’s greatest gifts.  I’ve learned that human love is imperfect and fallible until each human taps that true Source love within.  And then they harm another soul no longer because they know each wound they inflict with careless words harms not only the intended recipient but themselves as well.  Would that I could wake the entirety of the populace to this oh-so-very-important fact.  But, that’s not my job.  My job is not to save the world but to live in it and save myself from succumbing to negative vibration, despair and hopelessness that abounds when least a soul might expect it.  No chance of those negative things today.  I’m happy to be here on planet Earth.  Big white puffy clouds crawling across pure cerulean blue puts such a smile on my face.  I could watch in awe for hours on end and do every chance that I get.

Soon the loves in my house will stir beyond just me and my faithful furry little protector Zacky the Cat.  The coffee tastes better today for some reason.  Perhaps it is my gratitude is open wide, as is my heart and my hopes for my dreams.  I’m watching them manifest here one now by one.  Tears of joy escape my curious eyes so often I notice as each year passes.  I’m grateful for that now too. Count your blessings today and each day that follows.  Let that gratitude within you awaken your love and then soon after, compassion.  Your life too will be transformed and understanding will dawn at every turn just like the sun on this hot summer morning.  ~Blessed be each and every soul on the planet.  I wish you love, joy and the infinite power to manifest your deepest dreams now.

© 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, gorgeous random internet find)

 

Tiny Speck in the Universe

Something in the air seems to have changed but I can’t quite put my finger on exactly what.  I took a short walk on my lunch hour today.  I was surrounded by the proverbial concrete jungle with tall glass skyscrapers and manufacturing buildings everywhere I looked.  In the distance, the sound of the 405 Freeway hummed loudly with busy travelers no doubt focused on their destination unaware of the journey they were in that moment taking.  Not resonating well with this limited perspective, I shifted my presence and then my gaze and found a beautiful tree in the middle of a parking lot.  It was beautifully green with an abundance of leaves  etched in fine golden light and it’s aura unmistakably glowing against the backdrop of a deep and clear cerulean sky.  When I fine tuned my perspective a little more, I could hear the birds singing and happened to notice a briar patch serving as home to a nesting pair of mocking birds.  I stood motionless when I saw them as I knew they could not keep quiet long.  I was not disappointed mere moments later when they picked up a beautiful tune seemingly just enjoying the sunlight and the tasks at hand.  Just like me today, just enjoying the sunlight and my tasks at hand.

I’ve decided to reel in all of my far reaching thoughts and keep them a little closer to home and for good reason.  Stretching the mind far and wide with impossible thoughts as much as the imagination will endeavor can cause a soul to lose focus on the journey.  There are aspects of an outstretched and open mind that are just so beautiful to experience.  I must admit that I am guilty of often letting my mind wander where ever it will seeking out great mysteries of creation to contemplate or diving so deep into gratitude and sheer appreciation for life.  I’m certain that at times I must look half crazy walking around the city looking up at the birds and the trees with a huge smile on my face.

Continuing my walk I came to the corner of a very busy street where my building was located.  Some think the city is awful with all of its manufactured steel and glass but I was standing on the corner tuning out the sounds of the cars and focusing on a giant building covered in every square inch by mirrored windows.  Those windows reflected a beautiful fountain running below, the trees artfully place around its campus and even the sky.  I walked a little closer and I saw my own tiny reflection in the glass.  I looked so very small reflected in the giant sky scraper and I realized what an amazing metaphor for life I had just visually stumbled upon.

Life is vast, amazing and the Earth…so very large and beautiful.  When I think of me in comparison to everything else, I can’t help but laugh.  I am a very tiny being when you consider my stature on the face of the planet and then moving further out, an unrecognizable speck in an endless universe.  It feels good to be a tiny little speck of existence today.  When I consider all of the amazing aspects that all of existence contains and I realize I am a part of a living breathing whole of an organism I don’t have the proper framework to fully understand, I get excited.  Why?  Well, that means I have so very much to learn and I’ll never ever really suffer boredom or dull routine and complacency.  I came here to experience life and to learn about this world and this little corner of the galaxy and I intend to do just that.  I was so happy in my thoughts I nearly lost track of time.  My cell phone was ringing concerning some prep work for a meeting I was about to attend back inside under the dreaded fluorescent lights.  Ugh!  Speaking of the tasks at hand, I realized I had to get back to it.  As much as I’m grateful for the beauty in this world I am also grateful for those tasks I agreed to participate in no matter how mundane or difficult they might seem to be.  I’m lucky in that I work with some amazing souls and we’re in the business of helping people within the framework of Corporate America that we find ourselves in.  I love that!  I sigh a little as I begin the walk back to my building.  Just as I reached the back door, I paused a moment taking in more blue skies knowing a few of my favorite souls are out there walking under that gorgeous sunlight.  That made me smile.  I sent them all the love in the world I could muster in that moment, took a deep breath and then let it out very slowly.   Back to business I went, recharged, ever hopeful and ready to keep on making a difference everywhere I can.

(Photos are random internet finds and I do not own the copyright to them).

Lessons and Dreams

I walked the beach last night in silence.  I watched the sun cast opalescent rays across the sky and send ripples of light dancing in a perfect chorus line from where it was sinking low on the horizon to where I was observing completely captivated.  It was beyond mere mortal words to behold but the simplest word I can grasp is beautiful.  The breeze was gusting so hard I was grateful for a moment standing at the rail of the cliffs as it gave me something strong and sturdy to hold on to.  I stood frozen there for the longest time in pure silence, motionless except for a bit of buffeting by post storm gusty winds.  I lost myself in the light and tides, seeking solace and escape into nature’s sheer and amazing raw natural power.  It was that my soul most needed.

Some lessons come easy but most of the important ones come hard, through blood, sweat and tears.  Its just the truth of the matter and the truth, well, that’s what the lessons are all about in life.  The truth sometimes wells from deep within your core and tears are the empirical evidence of your time spent in earnest study.  The soul sometimes needs a moment of silence to pause and release, to understand and grasp true inner knowing and the real purpose of life lessons.  Sometimes the only thing a soul has left to do is to stand in their own light. Standing in your own light isn’t always the easiest thing to do and sometimes it means decisions must be made despite unintended consequences.  Speaking and thinking honestly and with the highest integrity at such times is the only way through and just praying for some level of understanding for all involved is the only action a soul can take.  I find myself in such a place.  It’s a hard place to stand but it is no less beautiful underneath than this golden light spilling down to Earth and etching everything in ethereal golden lines and creating defining shadows.

As I stand here I realize that it isn’t just my heart that aches, it’s my soul that seems to ache.  There is not much I can do about it but to be aware of it and feel my way through it.  There are many things I have learned in this life but none more valuable than the ability to feel my way through the darkness of pain to the light of pure love and understanding.  It’s there if you but trust you’ll make your way to it and when you do it’s like finding pure sunlight after storm clouds clear...its like breathing again after holding your breath for a little too long.  I pause again stopping all thoughts and breathing in this scene before me, breathing in this lesson and dream of late. I come back again and resume my thoughts.  And, so, I decide to go on walking this shoreline alone awaiting the twinkling stars.  I have wishes to make and dreams to create.  Blessings of higher love and light to all.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)