Roles and Plays

How many times have I engaged in a play only to realize the part doesn't suit me?  I am afraid that I have most certainly lost count.  Even more times have I pleaded kindly with the writer of the screen play to cast me in a more appealing role only to have said same writer/director refuse me and insist on manipulating, shaming or imposing guilt upon me to remain in a miserable and overly dramatic play in the most horrid of ghastly and ghostly roles.  Having no choice then and heart-broken, I cast the script down at his or her feet and walked off the stage never to return.  How many more times will it be so?  I shall not answer any more casting calls and rather, I think I shall design my own screen play and it's one in which psychology is infinitely stable, love is spiritually at the core so very strong and optimism and curiosity shall guide every line, action and scene in a complete absence of judgement and inability to see the beauty of all of the play's participants.  I shall endeavor to initiate my own casting call and perhaps it is that I shall engage in said activities very soon.  But not now, I think.  I'm too busy writing, too busy creating, too busy healing the frustration from past roles gone awry and so very engaged in embracing all that is beauty, love and light in this amazing world.  Sadly, I suppose I did not clearly understand the roles I had unintentionally agreed to play.  I thought I was answering a certain call only to find the bait and switch trap had been laid.  But I cannot be trapped as a free-will human and shall be no one's victim of poor writing and directing even though I understand the point and the cause from which the roles were blindly created.  With great love I can find understanding and forgiveness but I cannot be manipulated, possessed or coerced into anything that does not align with the truth of my being.

For now, I tire of roles and plays.  I tire of trips and traps.  I dream of scenes more beautiful than most souls could ever even begin to imagine and I shall not settle for anything that is not in pure and beautiful alignment with my truest desire.  So, I go...practicing the lines in my head, creating the sets and scenes with graceful fluidity and openness enough to entertain those things I had not quite yet imagined.  I am not without hope or great faith and inside of me is a love that burns so pure and so bright.  I will never settle for a two-bit part in some psycho drama created by a soul overly mired in illusion to the point that they have so sadly lost touch with their pure love and light.  In my heart of hearts, I know I deserve by far much better than that and so, I must be always much better than that.  I do not fear my ability in any regard.  What I fear a little is the substance and volume of the pool of actors and co-creators of this dream here at this time.  But I have been encouraged to never give up hope on a dream, to lend my love and light to it instead always and trust in full faith it shall be just as I intend and create.  I smile from my soul now feeling the truth.

If you do not care for the roles you have been cast in, rewrite the role or step out of the play and create your own.  You are always infinitely empowered to do so. ~ In love and in light, I wish you all perfectly beautiful and inspiring dreams.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

The Soul's Intent

Intent is our conscious readiness to pursue a specific outcome as we engage in our actions and interactions with others.  We set our intent to have a good day and we work on thinking positive thoughts to get there.  We may set our intent to get a job and so we create a resume, review the want adds and then we apply.  We set our intent to find good friends or partners and then we take steps towards those goals.  These are all examples of conscious intent.  We can all resonate with this right?  Well, what happens when we set our intent, we take all of the steps needed to get there and the end result never materializes?  As frustrating as it might seem, I think that sometimes we can't manifest our conscious intent because our soul's intent is in conflict. 

The soul has intent too that you may not be consciously aware of at all.  The soul's intent can be baffling, frustrating and down-right tiring to discern.  When our conscious intent is contrary to our soul's intent, we never seem to reach our conscious goals or they just don't seem to fully manifest.  When this occurs, its likely that our conscious intent is at odds with our soul's intent.  So, how do we know when the soul's intent is at odds with our conscious intent?  I think that we can find the answer in the things that we've done that seem to align with our conscious intent but we do something unconsciously that brings us a different result than that which we were consciously striving for.  I believe that the soul has a full grasp of what it intended to create in this world for you to learn from.  You may look back at certain decisions and wonder, what in the heck ever possessed me to make THAT decision?  It's so clearly out of sync with what I was truly striving for.  As puzzling as it might be, I think it is during these times that the soul's intent for a certain experience simply overruled the conscious mind.  It happens and usually for our ultimate good even if at first that does not seem so.

So, if you want to better understand what your soul's intent for learning is, take a look at your seemingly unconscious decisions and pay very close attention to the experiences that manifested for you.  It's entirely likely that you learned something valuable that you didn't really realize you were striving for.  Each individual must truly begin to learn to discern their own true path.  You do this by paying very close attention to not only those things that you want but those things that you end up with.  Absolutely everything in your lives matters - the seemingly good decisions and the bad ones.  Try not to beat yourself up too hard when things don't turn out exactly as you intended.  Instead, take heart and realize the soul of you may have had a much bigger goal or lesson in mind for you.  That's not to say you should give up on your goals but maybe, perhaps, you may want to rethink or go about them differently.

Just some food for thought beautiful dreamers.  This life is intended to enrich you, bring you various experiences you are creating whether you realize it or not and to give you greater understanding about you and this dream we call life.  Happy dreaming dear ones!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Time Warps

Summer skies fade from cerulean to indigo and then slowly to black. I'm sitting in the quiet and dark again, recounting my thoughts of the day again.  I'm tired tonight after an outing with the kids and a walk to a local establishment for dinner.  Nothing but smiles and laughter all night.  It has been a very simple and yet incredibly pleasant day.  A chill sets in for reasons unknown.  It is not a warning but something altogether different.  I welcome "different" in my life about now.  So much has seemingly become rote.  I'm told this is a time I should relax, rest and breathe in the peace of this moment as things are surely about to change major.  Again, I welcome the change but at the same time, I am grateful for this peace and quiet that has made it's way into my life.  In years past, I might be bored out of my skull.  Thoughts aren't so easy to weave together just now and a poem, well, the emotion has left me and I have nothing but this pure pristine peace and solitude to contend with.  I love this life so much and the gratitude that washes over me for this moment in time to take notice of what is before me, look at it more deeply and then truly begin to see what is unfolding is beyond measure and beyond my ability to fully articulate.

There are moments in time like this where time itself becomes an interesting and intriguing stranger.  A day or night will go by in a minute and then the next one will take years, it seems.  Its funny why I should observe this at all but I think my senses to most everything have suddenly grown so very acute.  On one hand I'd like to think I didn't understand what is happening but on the other hand, I know better and I do understand.  When we learn fully what it means to create, there is a shift in our perceptions and the very things we counted on, or - well, took for granted seem to change.  Change feels very strange but when you realize the change you may be experiencing is the result of the very specific road you chose to walk down and that these are the things you have worked so hard to learn, you can relax a little bit and just enjoy the show.  I'm refining my thoughts more and more as the minutes tic into hours and the hours into days and days into years.  It feels like I've been on this Earth forever and yet, at the same time it feels I've only just arrived.  Life for me will be all that I intend it to be...but only because I've finally figured out that I truly do create it and I provide the impetus for motion, messages and all sorts of wonderful learning.  I smile as I lean my head back in my chair and gaze up at a beautiful sea of stars.  I feel them as if they are a part of me as I have every single night that I have done the very same thing.  I sent my wishes up and out and pray they reach their intended destinations.  I relax a little more into my own skin letting my soul stretch out far and wide.  It has been a beautiful day and a beautiful life.  I am among those truly blessed to find the things that I have found, to live the life that I get to live and to know how to find love in everything.  Thank You I whisper still gazing upwards into the heavens. 

The peace has settled in overmuch now and I relish the thought of retiring to a very comfortable space to dream.  I'll make a tiny stop first for some treasured meditation time, flip on Discovery Science on the TV (because I am that much of a nerd) and I shall drift peacefully and pleasantly, elsewhere...

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words and photo)

Outcome Modification Process Explained

Physics teaches us that what we focus on, we create. Until we become aware and more awakened, we unconsciously create from a place of fear, anxiety and pain. As we learn, grow and begin to heal from the wounds within (and we find them by seeing the product of our thoughts manifesting without) we learn that we can consciously create from place of love, hope and joy. Like attracts like and our thoughts magnetize the energy about us so that we draw to us what our thoughts command. Think positive, heal the source of the negative thoughts and then begin to consciously create. Unconscious creations are good for learning but when you get tired of those kinds of lessons and can stop blaming the outside world for them, you can change the outcome by what you put into your world. Positive thoughts and conscious creation will change the outcomes in your lives. Know that there is no right or wrong way to learn...there is no judgment...and we have free will to hold either negative or positive thoughts. We will attract to us what we most need to learn and in that, the creating is perfect for each either way.

To some, the above concept is a gross over simplification and nothing but new age BS.  I used to be one of those so, I completely understand.  Until the moment I realized my life was falling apart and I took a courageous look at what the common thread was in all of my life's happenings (e.g., me and decisions made that were not well thought out to say the very least), I could not complete the shift in thinking necessary to move from a negative state of results I didn't want to a positive state achieving results I did want.  I've had conversations with naysayers and again I'll say that I completely understand.  Words such as, "What do you mean I'm to blame - all of this s$%! just happens to me...everything I touch turns bad or goes wrong and nothing I do will change it...I'm sick of being hurt all of the time, I'm sick of being taken advantage of and left with nothing but pain," are not lost on me at all.  I so get it.  I remember those feelings because I once held them but there isn't some magical belief you hold that transforms you.  You really have to look with a keen eye towards the major things you were involved in in your life that went wrong and understand how you had the hand in your own undoing.  Maybe it's something simple as putting too much trust in others that had not sufficiently earned that trust.  Maybe its that you had too high of hopes out of sync with the reality of a situation and who you were dealing with and you exposed yourself.  Maybe the gamble was just too big or you were seeking a quick way out and took it without much thought to what all of the risks were.  Maybe it was really you making not well thought out decisions all along that lead to your down fall time and time again.  Believe me, I know how this feels. I've been there, done that and gotten many messy T-Shirts.

I spent 3 years in near complete solitude at one point in my life because everything had gone wrong, everything I touched lead to my pain, everything I did backfired and it got so bad all I could do was cry myself to sleep at night from the pain of it.  But one sleepless night, something happened.  I kept asking myself, "What is it?  What is it that I am doing wrong?  This victim thinking is putting my power in everyone else's hands leaving me a perpetual victim to float forever in a stream of nothing but terror and misery emotionally.  And then, I saw someone else making the same mistakes as I had made and I realized, with chills, that there was no mistake about what I was seeing.  I was going to have to spend some time trying to separate the themes and sets of assumptions I always made and based my decisions on.  I found a good number of things as I began to go deeper within.  First of all, I routinely expected those around me to behave like me - honest, high integrity and responsible - they'll do what they say they are going to do no matter what.  One of the first things I learned was that THAT was a terrible assumption and expectation on my part and quite unrealistic.  I realized quickly too that I needed to have much greater experience with people before I put forth any kind of trust.  It is not that I refused to trust, it's just that I had to learn to be more cautiously optimistic with how I expended my resources with people who talked a good talk but I had not yet experienced enough time with them to see if they could walk the walk before I trusted them with my resources or goals, plans and dreams.  I began to take accountability.  I began to become more self-reliant emotionally, physically and financially.  I wasn't making enough money for my obligations and so I took a second job rather than relying on others who said they'd help me and then didn't, wouldn't or couldn't.  I cut out all extra expenses.  I realized the assumption that I needed to hold was that I was in fact surrounded by people who could not be there for me the way I was there for them.  I had to understand that also was a theme.  Why did I feel responsible for stopping or mitigating the pain of others when there was no reciprocation - there was only taking from me in those around me and no giving.  That wasn't their bad - that was mine. I blamed them but I realized that I needed to blame me for my own assumptions and expectations. The Serenity Prayer lead me out of that one - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdome to know the difference.  These words a genius to me!

The deeper I went into my assumptions and expectations about situations and people I had experienced, the more I began to ask, why?  Why did I do that?  What was I really after?  What was I hoping to gain from an action that lead to pain? Was I trying to change things beyond my control?  What was within the realm of my control? As I tore apart the themes, I saw what lay hidden underneath.  That is where things got very interesting.  I found a lot of pain that had laid dormant, unhealed but affecting my thoughts in the negative.  I wondered what would happen if I changed the premises of my thoughts and assumptions, maybe ditch all assumptions and seek validation and clarity in advance, if that might change the outcomes.  It did but not enough.  The trust thing came in again - even though I would validate with crystal clarity verbally in advance I still could not guarantee with certainty an outcome and began to realize that I couldn't control an outcome at all.  The only thing I could really do was set my intent, be solid in what I hoped to achieve (e.g., have a good goal that had nothing to do with anything but honest input and healthy focus for result) and then do my part to get there actively and not passively.  When I took accountability for doing my part, everything changed.  I began to see clearly that the only power I truly had was the power I exercised to control my own thoughts and actions and that the actions of others were far beyond my control.  I started to see things differently and started having better outcomes as a result.

This isn't a one-time process and you're healed though.  It takes effort every day and now today when I see an unpleasant outcome, I can quickly diagnose where I went wrong in my thought process.  I then can take the steps to focus on healing what caused me to overlook something obvious and plan to do things differently the next time. What is so funny is that the universe, in it's infinite wisdom, will give you plenty of tests to make sure your creation process is operating the way you intended based on the time and effort put into it.  I'll give you an example I see so much:  Dating - take someone who is lonely who just wants a date or a relationship but they are so fearful that what happened in the past that hurt them will happen again in the future.  I'll stop right there - this - this is a bad way to start...fear of pain from what has happened before is never a place to start.  Heal the pain first - set clear intent - and then take action so that you create from a place of curiosity rather than fear...that you create from a place of hope rather than contempt and then, then you will change your experience going further. First of all, behaviors in others that triggered past pain for you will be more visible and you won't invest time in those kinds of folks.  This will clear the path for those to date that will be more rewarding for you.  The process works just like that.  Find out where you are holding negativity and fear and clear that before you engage in a similar interaction where those emotions will rise to the surface.  If you step way back, you begin to see how it is the planning, the intent, the focus and your beliefs that create your outcomes.  Test it.  Try different things and see what happens. When lessons repeat, there is something you missed.  Don't feel bad!  Just go over the inputs again and see what you can refine or modify and then reset your intent and try it again.

Life is really amazing when you begin to understand just exactly how you create in this world.  I hope I've done a little better job on expanding the concepts in the first paragraph.  I love this lesson and test it often and it is a recipe that works...what I put into something, I will get out of something.  If I go into something with pain, I'm going to attract something that will bring me more of the same.  If I go into something with curiosity, balance and focus, I'm not going to accept what doesn't measure up to the outcome I seek and so will modify or change the resources that come at me to help me create...the outcomes will manifest if I do my homework correctly.  I love how this works now that I understand but I hated it when I didn't know what was going on.  We live, we love, we learn and hopefully grow.  I hope I've given you some food for thought at least!  When you hear that our thoughts are so powerful, well - this is just one of those ways.  If you want delicious chocolate chip cookies, you can't go into the process fearful that they are going to taste terrible!  You need to make sure you have the right ingredients, tools and process to make them come out right.  If you get a bad result, note what went into the batch, the process or timing and modify accordingly.  I'm hungry now!  I hope you get out there and create a beautiful lives for yourselves.  The tools seem to always shift and change but hey, you ARE powerful and can create new tools, look for better resources and pull everything together in a beautifully rewarding process.  You can.  Just believe it and half the battle is already won.  ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (Photo - this beautiful painting is not mine but I loved it - the focus is peace and serenity - smiles).

Time

Time, it’s such an interesting concept both within and outside of this frame.  Having experienced many occasions of being outside of time completely, I wonder about our experience of time within this frame.  Time seems to hold certain laws in common consideration.  However, we have evidence of time behaving differently such as in cases where our astronauts are propelled out into space by rockets speeding ever skyward on stellar expeditions and slight changes to their experience of time while ours back here on Earth remains unchanged.  I come back to thought within this frame work and cannot help but go immediately to perception.  Perception does not escape the law of time in this frame but it seems to at times.  I think back on the last 30 days.  Time seems to have accelerated at such a pace that I cannot believe how quickly the days have seemed to escape me.  But even though they may have seemed to escape, every single day of the last 30 days has been filled, at least within the frame work of my perception, with bliss for fleeting or long moments knit together.  Is it the state of bliss that transforms or affects to passage of time?  

I think back also to a simple event, meditation.  I had 15 minutes to meditate the other night and get free from this framework all together.  Within the time I was deep inside my own mind and being, I had two very long conversations.  One with someone I love very much in this life here incarnate and another with a dear angelic friend who is not incarnate at this time.  Both conversations by the laws within this framework, would have taken hours to complete and when I pulled myself out, I looked at the clock and saw that exactly 15 minutes had transpired.  How is it that I can have two-at least two hour conversations with two different souls on topics that I have fully realized the benefits of in every fiber of my being in only 15 minutes?  While in meditation, do we escape to a realm that is outside of time?  Is it just a perception?  If it is only a perception, how can I explain the volumes of information that within this frame would have taken several hours to take in?

If I go back to a premise of life, one that I hold dearly in that this, this life is only a dream, I think my questions start to make sense.  One thing I’ve noticed about dreams within this dream is that whole scenes of activity and information take place in the span of about 15-20 minutes, often, even shorter down to mere minutes.  However, the information taken in is beyond the time within this framework.  Within dreams we are outside of time in this physical frame work and we do not have the limits within our dreams that we have while dreaming in this larger dream we call life.  So, if the larger dream we call life is just a dream, then it would seem that time here is only a perception and it also is not limited by anything other than our thoughts.  Our perceptions can serve to slow our experience of time or can seem to cause it to speed up.

As we age within this larger dream of life, they say that time accelerates.  Within this framework the law of time lapse is as it is.  It does not change while we remain static but our perception can affect time at least in our own minds.  So, if our perception can break the barrier of this law of time in this frame based on our own thoughts and level of engagement within the dream, my mind immediately goes to what other concrete seeming laws can we change with mere thoughts?  Our perceptions are fueled by the energy of our emotions I now realize and that energy contains the stuff of creation for us to use either consciously or unconsciously to create as we wish for our own enjoyment (whether in the positive or the negative).  Can we really be so powerful?  Is this the divine aspect of our existence moving subtly under the cover of labels and rules that we somehow inflict upon ourselves?  Can you imagine the freedom of holding this perception?  Can you imagine the things we could do and learn and the lessons we could take in on a much grander scale?  Time can be distorted so for me, in many instances, the law of time does not exist.  

What about the limited laws of matter as we perceive them?  We think what we see is solid but when you break down those barriers in the study of physics, we learn that what we perceive as solid is really atoms and molecules vibrating more quickly or slowly forming our perceptions of matter.  If we could but understand how it is that we come to these agreements of perception, how might we change what we see into something we would really love to experience?  I don’t know the answers to my questions but I want to know and will look for ways in which I can experiment on my own for no other reason that the pure enjoyment of discovery.  I’m a natural rebel when it comes to rules at times and so my thoughts cannot help but roam through simulations and potential options for creating differently.  Simply put, I believe our perceptions expand or limit our experience in this dream and even dreams within the larger dream we call life.  Time is just one rule that is often broken…at least in our perception.  One conclusion I come to after these stretched and unscientifically proven mental meanderings is that perception itself is a tool for creation.   

Well, I must get myself off to work thinking of “time.”  My boss perceives that I should be in my office at my desk at the agreed upon time of 7:30 a.m.  Hmmmm, today of all days I wish I had the energy to manipulate that perception oh, say, for about 9 hours at least!  (giggles).  I hope this day that you all are enjoying the time of your lives.  Be blessed. (Forgive typographical and grammatical errors as I won’t have time to proof read until later.  I thought this was a fun topic so decided to post it unedited for now).

(c) 6/12 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find).

Contemplating Purple

I sat quietly on my patio tonight.  To my immediate left was a small terracotta pot that I planted a tiny deep purple daisy bush in many months ago.  The poor plant barely made it through the winter and was looking so frail and lifeless.  I spent a lot of time with that plant over the past few months just sending my appreciation for it’s beauty.  I watched it come back from the brink of death and it began to bloom again.  Not satisfied, I continued to spend more time in the evenings sitting next to it, sending it love and all of the blissful thoughts and energy I could muster.  I noticed tonight that the purple color of each of the flowers has deepened.  It’s also so full of life and blooms that you cannot see the little pot it’s planted in at all.  I was captivated by just how beautiful it was and I gently stroked a few petals here and there.  I suddenly wanted to meditate and did for a few moments.  I felt so much peace and the amazing thing is that peace seemed to emanate much stronger on my left side than my right.  Even more amazing was that I suddenly felt my left arm tingle as if one of the flowers was stroking my arm.  Okay, I know it’s a stretch but it was a beautiful thought just sitting there deeply entranced in shear appreciation and then feeling it come back to me.  

I wonder about the application of this very simple concept.  If we spend a lot of time nurturing ourselves, others, situations and whatever else is our focus, if we send love and expect nothing in return, if we gave just for the joy of giving and felt nothing but gratitude just for the opportunity to give and to witness transformation…what might we discover in this world in terms of our power to consciously create?  Hmmm, for now I’m sticking with plants.  I’ve got a little ficus tree that isn’t looking very happy.  I’m going to move it over to my flower garden next to the beautiful purple daisies.  That plant is so filled with love I’m just certain we can bring the little tree back to life too.  I love it when I feel a deep appreciation for anything in nature and then it responds with a glorious display of color, light or even simple peace. ~sigh~  I love this world.  I just love it so much.  I don’t care if it’s hard.  I don’t care if the lessons sometimes make me cry.  I don’t care if sometimes it feels like I’m on my own with not another soul in sight who understands me and my crazy mental meanderings.  I laugh at these thoughts realizing they are just an illusion.  The truth is that my feelings only stem from thoughts that I create and allow to exist.  So, I think that I shall acknowledge the challenging thoughts and thank them for showing me such beautiful contrast to joy and peace and I will do the same for pain, emptiness or that feeling of alone.  These are more beautiful things to teach me in contrast to look higher or deeper for the truth.  Love is such a powerful tool and gratitude the beginnings of love at it’s core is just, well, amazing.

Find something wonderful to love and if its not wonderful, make it so and love with all your heart.  Experiment with this feeling and notice just how truly powerful the emotion is in terms of creation in this beautiful world.  Your results, no doubt, will be pleasing, amazing and undeniable joyful!  Be blessed dear souls.  I’m off to go sit in my garden some more and contemplate the beauty of the color purple!

(c) 5/2012 photo/words Jaie Hart