Solitude

A month in pure solitude outside of working and family interactions has brought me much clarity and I find the peace to be all consuming in a truly beautiful way.  It is a beautiful thing to go within and seek understanding…to get more familiar with the sensation of being inside of your own skin and understanding one’s own thoughts.  It is no easy thing, mind you.  So often we seek to fill our time with anything but experiencing the presence of self.  However, until we understand what it feels like to be fully present within our own bodies, becoming familiar with our own energies and learning to breathe smoothly and easily, we will miss beautiful opportunities to just be.

I find I am enjoying this time immensely.  I have yet so many memories to understand and understand them, I will.  An observation came over me yesterday while driving into the sun.  Whether my memories are from thousands of years ago or 10 years ago, there is still a somewhat disconnected sense to them.  I’m trying to understand this sense of disconnection.  I mean, I can see and feel them…experience them and I smile but I do not live through them.  They are engraved in time and space now and I do not need to cling to them for dear life in order to find myself.  All the emotions and feelings as well of thoughts coalesce into who I am now in the present.  Realizing what has come before in the distant and recent past I find greater awareness in the memories but I am not so attached to them and reminiscing over them that I cannot be free to move about in the present.  I have had beautiful experiences and each one leaves an indelible mark upon my heart, my psyche and soul and yet, I am free from them – free from who I was and now in the present I am unhindered in my ability to consciously create with much greater understanding.

In all my soul-searching I find great strength, courage and conviction overtaking any form of fear, worry or disappointment.  There are no opportunities lost and we hold ourselves too tightly sometimes in that regard.  “Should have, Would have and Could have” are dangerous thoughts for a soul to have in any now moment that comes upon them.  Do not hold them and look back not in regret for things that did not continue knowing that all has always occurred according to your life's plan.  Your lessons have come seemingly at great cost sometimes but know that cost was perfect in the development of your soul.  Navigating the seas of sorrow and pain reconciling lessons is a difficult journey but it is also a very beautiful journey when you are open to seeing who and what you really were and how that leads up to who you have become.  In every second of our existence we have the opportunity to embrace greater knowledge, higher love and oh goodness, beautiful light and energy that permeates every single thing in our existence here.  We get so caught up in the trivial at times but even that is a willed-distraction from our true purpose.  It’s okay.  We eventually come back to ourselves if we are but willing to find our own light and courage and stand in it regardless of the judgment that comes from misunderstanding souls trapped in the prisons they have created for themselves.  We create prisons sometimes but the key to freedom is always in the heart and the mind that is connected always to the All of Everything.

I feel as if I have slept for Eons and I yawn and stretch well rested and so very ready to contemplate a new journey in my sphere of existence…this journey will be filled with curiosity, holding strong to only those assumptions of positive intent, choosing what I will and will not participate in very consciously and knowing that all I ever need to know will come to me when I need it most.  Life, love, light – these things are so tightly interwoven into every area of my existence.  I didn’t see before and now I do and the bliss consumes me and keeps this smile on my face.  I feel like a child in a toy store – so many things to explore and learn.  Life is truly beautiful dear ones.  Find the beautiful spaces in your existence – in your lives and put all of your focus there on expansion of the feelings the beauty so willingly gives you.  Create your dreams so very consciously and drink in the delicious experiences laid out before you and watch in awe as new ones ever unfold before you.  Enjoy this life as you were meant to.  Lighten up and learn to play and enjoy and also to see this world with child-like curiosity and wonder.  It’s worth it to endeavor to engage in this particular perspective.  Be blessed.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random internet find)