Good day, good morning or good evening beautiful souls (who have so graciously stopped by to read my musings)! I have not been able to write in so long it seems so many words and thoughts have been saved up and they just seem to be flowing. So, I’m going to go with it. Now, this sudden burst of literary proliferation could be the result of yet another 3:33 a.m. awakening and well, at least a full pot of coffee to myself. But hey, it’s Friday and I don’t have to work. So, well, I’ll get to my sometimes befuddled meanderings!
Something has weighed so heavy lately on my mind often. It isn’t a new concept as I’ve written about it here before but I think, perhaps, a new perspective dawns. I wrote an article not long ago in which I indicated that we shouldn’t shoot the messengers that bring us messages of pain to contend with. Nothing gets our hackles up quicker than someone insulting us, circumventing our free will or taking things we perceive of great value away from us. As much as it hurts, have you ever given thought to why it hurts and why it happened? Have you ever even for a single moment contemplated shoving aside the wounded ego, pushing past illusion and assumption and trying to see the truth of the message being presented to you? I know it’s hard and the ego fights equally hard to maintain its victim and villain filter on your view but what if that view wasn’t the truth? What if that perspective was only a learned behavior designed to point you in the wrong direction to trap you into very small and superficial thinking? Wouldn’t that very concept make you mad enough with the seeming design of things to try to reach beyond the limits of superficial egotistical woundings?
I don’t know about you but for years I lived in a nightmare dream where there was nothing to be seen on the horizon but a host of dark specters, villains and even monsters under the bed. Every one of them perfectly planted on my path just to hurt me and prove to me how weak, stupid and inadequate or even unlovable I truly must be. My anger at such resulting feelings only ever proved that those thoughts of weak, stupid and inadequate or unlovable were actually illusory thoughts my own ego held about me. And the ego itself is really like a piece of play dough that has been compressed, dented or stretched by my own life experiences with other perhaps, unaware (or perfectly aware) souls that left seemingly indelible imprints on my psyche. But not being satisfied with the superficial ever for long and the fact that the flames underneath my suffering got turned on high for a few years, I learned to dig deeper within and try to find the truth and the light in every single negative thing (at least in my superficial mind) that has ever happened to me. Oh my goodness the things that I began to learn -- once willing -- were simply astounding to me, amazing to me and so incredibly healing to me. Perspective is everything but perspective is not truth. Perspective is shaped by a series of a framework of thoughts and beliefs that we hold about what we see or experience. Perspective isn’t really the truth. So, what is the truth? I can’t really tell you but I can tell you how to find it for yourselves. Now, to be willing to find it is great but you have to put on your big girl or boy pants, take a deep breath and be willing to let your beliefs about you be torn to shreds. Sounds fun huh? It isn’t but it is so very worth it. Nothing in the world has brought me greater reward than those moments were I allowed my own perception to be replaced with truth and that means admitting that I judged things, people, situations and even myself, wrong.
I’ve had a lot of help for a very long time with this “questing within” to find the answers to the problems and themes that have kept repeating in my life over time. The biggest help??? Well, that one is really amazing. The biggest most blessed and wonderful help has been every single soul that crushed and wounded me to the core of my soul. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? It really isn’t. Messengers come in many forms and if something hurts, really hurts and we’re willing to try to see the truth about why (e.g., what beliefs do I hold, what unhealthy attachments do I have, where do I invalidate myself) an amazing thing happens. We begin to heal! No big deal, right? Well, it is a big deal. If you stop carrying wounds around that are based on your own core beliefs about an illusion, you free your soul, you free your energy, you free your voice and you free your heart. When you are free, you begin to understand what is really happening in this world and how perfect everything truly is even when painful. When you can even just begin to grasp the importance of this concept your reactions will change. As your reactions change, your energy changes to a higher vibration. When your vibration increases, you open new doorways to greater experiences here on Earth. Like it or not, we did come here to learn. We love the experience of incarnation or we would not exist here. We are not prisoners on a prison planet. We volunteered for the amazing opportunity. So, heck, why not use it as it was intended and learn baby learn – grow baby grow and as you grow…share! Share your experiences with others who may relate to you. Your existence and learning may inspire tons of people to reach in deeper and higher to love and evolve more while they exist here.
I cannot tell you why its so important but it just is. Having said that, we can take as long as we need to or we can simply exercise our free will and stay status quo. There really isn’t anything wrong with that either unless it creates discomfort you would like to stop. I was one of those. I came to a place where the level of my suffering was no longer acceptable to me. Through a long number of years, I spent time seeking understanding of the patterns, seeking understanding of the origins, finding the pain and the illusions and learning to reach beyond them for the truth. I cannot say I can see every truth. I am merely a student of this life after all just like you. But I know how to learn and now, where to look and even if I’m scared to see the truth, I’ll dive into it eventually any way. I set my intent a very long time ago to dream lucidly in this big dream within a dream. I’m finding measures of success where I was completely derailed and sidelined before. This makes me happy. Now, I’m sure my life will be filled with messengers that leave me feeling wounded, incredulous and angry. I may react first when I encounter them but knowing what I know now, I know that I will come to a place of pure gratitude for the messages and the messages they presented to me…even if hard and even if it takes me a long time to get there.
Okay, I’m done with my coffee induced meanderings. I think I need a nap now or at least a breakfast burrito! I pray that your discoveries bring you great joy as you journey through your lives. If no one else has mentioned it to you and even if I don’t even know you, I’m glad you’re here. You and your learning as you go through your lives makes a difference. ~Namaste!
(c) 2012 (photo was a random internet find - and a favorite).
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