Trading Illusions

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Just over half way through a rather difficult part of my journey, I realize that I have gained interesting new perspectives on things.  Not just on some things, but everything under the sun.  I think back over the days and years and notice how within my life I have traded the illusion for truth time after time and you might think that is frustrating and I can assure you it feels frustrating in the moment.  But, just one single deep breath and it doesn’t take but a moment to realize that trading illusions for refinements of truth is one of life’s beautiful blessings.

There are so many emotions we experience as we learn about our life and life in general.  We fight or otherwise resist them based on how we think we should be, feel or act in response to a certain experience.  In all honesty, this only serves to prevent our progress and stunts our growth immeasurably.  For if we are to grow at all, we must learn at least one of many important things about life during our time here and one of those is acceptance for starters.  That acceptance means accepting ourselves and how we feel or act or even react to situations, things or people.  We must be as we are and be okay with that.  We must learn to observe how we feel and how we act and watch with child-like curiosity and question it.  We must learn to be.

This is not easy by any stretch of the imagination but well worth the journey my friends.  Now as I sit here considering what I have come to learn from my life time so far, I realize all the things I used to beat myself up for was merely the act of trading illusion for little bits more of the truth I truly desire.  And I realized something else.  That desire for truth can be fulfilled only from the inside out and can never be had from the outside in.  Oh don’t get me wrong, there are many who point to the light and correctly so but until you know the light from within, you wouldn’t even know what to do with it.

So, I hope you struggle a bit here and there now and then.  It’ll give you character rather than do you any real and lasting harm.  I hope you encounter conflict on your journey.  It’ll help you sharpen your truest sense of authenticity.  I hope you encounter the haters, they naysayers and invalidators.  They’ll make you seek shelter deep within the heart of your being where the truth really lives about you and about life.  No, I do not wish you ill.  Please don’t misunderstand. What I wish is for you to find those tools that will enable you to truly refine your minds, your consciousness, your bodies, your spirits and souls.  It is not through easy sailing in a perfect wind that we truly learn sailing.  No, it is through navigating the stormy seas of life that we test ourselves and truly learn. 

Try, if you can, to muster the courage and strength to stand and face all that creates fear and worry within you.  Struggle to pull yourself up if you fall.  Talk to yourself lovingly and with compassion when you fail for even in failure you are refining everything that you are.  Every experience that we have here, dear ones, matters.  Maybe not for the reasons you think but for more important and less tangible ones.  It’s always like that, isn’t it?  The best comes after the hardest journey.  The fun part is we create all of this chaos just to relax within the order that follows.  The more chaos we create in our own minds, the more refinement we’ll have to work on.  And as we endeavor to engage in refining activities, we’ll be and do things differently as we go and the better off we’ll be at some point down the line or maybe right now as you recollect all you’ve faced.  Maybe the dominoes have already been lined up for you.  Well, knock’em down each and everyone and watch as each theme of your life is beautifully tied together in a way you will understand.  And you will understand.  And you will learn.  And you will grow.  Blessings of infinite understanding beautiful dreamers.

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© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

 

Foggy Mist of Our Own Minds

I must admit that I am a realistic optimist with much heavier emphasis on the optimistic side.  I am optimistic right down to my bones but have had the life experience enough and the wisdom of that experience to know that perspectives vary among us all.  There is much talk of the illusions in life but none more great than the illusion of taking things personally.  Even if a soul fully intended to hurt you deeply with words or actions, they do so only because of the illusions they hold.  Either they are fighting ghosts from wounds others have inflicted upon them that they have not yet healed and you triggered them or somewhere within them is held a deep admiration for you and they think that they are lesser than you.  You see, this is but an illusion.  We are all equal as human beings and none is greater than anyone else.  We all have our triggers, our weaknesses and strengths but not one of us is greater nor lesser than the other.  We forget this as we go through our days mired in egotistical thoughts that continually contrast and compare all of those souls around it not realizing that life is not a game that you win.  In living life as a gigantic race, if you strive to win at the expense of another, you will only lose in the end.

These are very difficult lessons to learn as we go through our days taking on more and more unhealed pain.  As we walk through the foggy mists of our own minds making assumptions not only about others but ourselves as well, we can never ever see the truth of what stands before us.  This illusion is one of the most difficult to break.  That is not to say that one should stand there and take blow after blow by those  mired in their own illusions.  One must have the self-love enough to side-step the blows and distance one's self from being pulled into a night mare.  We give away our power through our illusions not realizing that no one has the power to make us feel one single thing that we do not give our permission to feel.  We allow the blows to land, we see the threat of illusory attack and we defend and we strike and we take on the pain of others when we lose the ability to see the truth.  I write about this so much because it pains me to see so many taking on unnecessary pain and/or living with mortal emotional wounds.  This world is not always love, light and rainbows when you are caught in the illusion of victims and villains.  Are there folks out there that intend to do harm?  Sure there are but if you see them only as evil, you miss an opportunity to understand and in the absence of understanding within you there may be born a terrible emotion - fear.  Nothing steals away the light and your personal power like fear.  Can another harm you?  Can another take your life?  Yes, they can.  In this realm, this is true. But if you knew that the soul lived on regardless of a physical body, would you become as fearful?

If you knew that in life, nothing happens by accident and that everything was perfect as a process of learning, would you see life differently?  I do not mean to suggest that we should attempt to physically embrace those aiming a weapon in your direction.  I suggest rather that we become aware of the bigger picture, the causes of strife, of pain and suffering in this world and do what we can to contribute light, love and peace to any situation we might find ourselves in.  I am not saying this is easy by any stretch of the imagination but if you try, you will begin to understand how precious life is and what a beautiful gift it is to stand on this earth and watch the sun rise or watch a butterfly in flight, to hear the birds sing, to watch children at play and to know that no matter what it is that you have suffered or endured, you are loved and infinitely empowered to heal self and live life truly.  When we become too mired in the illusions that pain can create, we cut off any sliver of light from entering our world.  It is okay to feel pain but to own it forever without allowing the process of healing it to move and progress as it was intended is like imprisoning yourself forever in a very dark place and becoming angry at the world for the prison you created and walked into tossing the key out when you cut off your own self love. 

These concepts are advanced I realize but they can be learned and learned by any soul willing to open their hearts and seek healing.  My life has taught me these things and I must admit that I learned them the hardest of ways.  There were times I was so mired in my illusions I locked myself up and destroyed the key.  What a miserable time that was fighting ghosts and villains of my own creation.  Oh sure there were actors more than willing to play the parts I cast them in but it was my own reactions in the absence of understanding that imprisoned my heart and soul in darkness.  When the pain got too great I began looking for the answers within my own thinking.  I found the patterns and themes and tugged on the strings and was brought to the core of my own assumptions...my own creations and when I found I had no one to blame but myself, my assumptions and my own choices, I began to realize just how powerful I was and how powerful the illusion of pain could be.  But we, we are not limited in our ability to learn, to see, to love and to understand.  We must only chose to open our hearts and minds to the truth about ourselves, accept every action, every thought and every reaction to all of life's challenges.  When we accept the errors of our judgments knowing we did the only things we knew how to do at any given time, we begin to forgive.  As we begin to forgive, we begin to also understand the actions of others and can even find a measure of forgiveness for actions taken within the foggy mists of illusions that others held.  It becomes hard then to remain an angry, weak and lost victim.  When we know the power of words, the power of the energy behind our own thoughts, we might also learn how to create life in the infinitely positive.  That's when the world begins to become a bright, beautiful and amazing place.

I wish for you the brightest, purest and most beautiful self love seen, felt, heard and acknowledged within you.  It is already there at your core.  Let that flame roar to a fiery inferno of bliss, healing and joy.  Accept yourselves as perfection in the scheme of this design here in the Earth school and know some lessons may be hard won but once you understand or even attempt to try to, you will open the door to higher love and higher learning.  When you open up, watch how your world is transformed over time and new souls come in to assist you as you go.  Enough of my coffee induced ramblings this morning.  Have a wonderful day beautiful dreamers.  You are loved.

(c) Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Pushing the Boundaries

What do you do when there is so much to say and yet all of the feeling that exists within you rises to the surface all at once fighting for conscious cognition? You do nothing but breathe, be silent and still.  And so tonight I write out underneath my beloved stars.  Apparently some words I can still chain together semi-coherently.  Its an amazing thing to be human and even more so to have a heart...senses...sight.  A very welcome cool sea breeze blows and the stars are there but not quite yet visible.  Any moment now they'll flick on all at once as they do every night at about this time.  This is truly a beautiful world.  Oh if only I could tell you of all of the things I have seen.  You may not believe me even if you heard the words and saw my lips moving in person.  You might think me quite insane unless you could feel the sensations in your own body of a soul speaking the truth from their heart.  Sometimes there is nothing more beautiful nor tragic in life than the truth.

I've been on an interesting journey that shifted its focus in January of 2011.  Things I thought impossible have expanded before me and become reality and illusions, well, many of those had to be traded for the truth and I don't regret a single moment of that exploration.  If you are very lucky or at least aware in life, you will come to know all of the ways in which we each are guided as we place our feet in sequence on the Earth and we dream this dream.  We can reach straight through the vision of reality that we hold and grab onto what's real but we touch it and have no way in which to measure what we hold...no words to define...no pictures...just feeling.  Its beautiful if even very difficult to understand.  So, at such times a soul may grow very quiet trying to wonder if what they see is real or what they feel is real and which is more real any way.  And eventually you come to a place where you realize it doesn't matter...the journey doesn't matter, the questing for truth doesn't matter and the only thing these things ever really bring you is right back to the threshold of your own door.  Standing in disbelief you open the door to your soul and you're home...a place you never left and only seemed to.  Without the fabric of understanding to realize what you have done, it feels a little as if you've lost your mind but the truth is, you've finally found it.

This life holds not one ounce of separation from Source.  We were never cast out of the kingdom from sin.  We closed our eyes and went to sleep is all we did and in a dream we forgot our starting point and what we are always surrounded by...pure, sweet and beautiful love and enough power and energy to keep creating any way we wanted to in the dreams we dream.  We forget the dream is a dream even and we get lost along the way it seems but the reality is its only a mind trick we play on ourselves just for fun.  And it is fun when you begin to understand there isn't much to understand other than what and who you really are...where you came from, what you've done and not in any sort of judgmental way.  This life is meant to be lived for as long as you should choose to live it.  There is no turning back once the journey begins, you must see it through or suffer your own admonishment somewhere down the line.  The Kingdom has always been within you and never once has your connection to it and its Source ever been severed.  Its a beautiful realization.

I'm off to appreciate the stars in this beautiful sky I have dreamed and I shall relish it, feel the pure joy of it, breathe in the blessed bliss of it and then I shall embark on another dream and who knows what else then.  Tomorrow the Earth will still be turning and we'll see the sun in the sky and we'll do what we do every day over again and again until we're ready to go home.  There is so much to do in between and so much to create and understand.  Please don't misunderstand my words or their seemingly obscure meaning.  There is a purpose to my rambling meandering thoughts and that is to show you that our linear progression of thoughts think things are just so but life gets infinitely more rewarding when you push the accepted boundaries of what reality is and do some exploring on your own.  Immeasurable beauty will you find and come to know.  Infinite wells of love and light will be there at your finger tips.  You will come to know who and what you are.  And for the first time in as long as you can remember, you will be more than satisfied. ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random but quite fortunate internet find)

Metamorphosis

I am traveling while standing here on planet Earth.  It seems as if I am standing still but that is just my perception or a completely false illusion.  How do I know?  Well, science in this case.  You see, I am standing on planet Earth who spins or her axis at over a thousand miles per hour (if one is standing near the equator).  Add to that the fact that this beautiful world is traveling through space around the sun at approximately 67,000 miles per hour in its orbit.  I begin to understand a little better one of the seven Hermetic Principals as is outlined in The Kybalion.  The Principal of Vibration states that, “Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates.”  Every single thing in this universe is moving and then we get to the details on matter and how matter is merely a collection of densely vibrating atoms and molecules.  But I wonder why and how many more illusions there are in this world.

I pause in my thoughts as I spied a lone white seagull circling just above me.  I watched him fly South East until I could make him out no longer and my thoughts picked up and drifted again but this time even further away.  In my mind’s eye I imagined he headed for the distant shores of Elsewhere and would alight with joy upon the pristine grains of sand there.  I find myself often walking blissfully there.  But, lately, things have changed.  The joy of being there I have somehow seemed to miss lately even though I return often as some sort of sacred self-duty.  I know if I didn’t go at all, my soul would ache.  Lately when I arrive I find that my soul seems to ache any way.

As much as I enjoy coming full circle at the point of finally attaining the wisdom of lessons learned, I do not care for the seeming pause as the velocity and impetus within me slows, shifts and changes.  I sigh a little knowing I am no longer who I thought I was.  I’m no longer a fearful malleable soul awaiting direction or for someone to notice me standing here.  With much divinely gathered assistance over the past 18 months have I combed the sands of time finding the clues that lead me to all of the places I had unwittingly discarded or given away pieces of my own soul.  I took myself apart a long time ago for reasons that would never even closely resemble the word “reason” here today.

I found my light in the darkness and in the process learned the darkness held nothing to fear but imaginary wrathful deities like monsters under the bed.  At some point we grow from fearful children and begin to gain the courage enough to have an honest look at those things we feared existed in the darkness under our beds.  Lately, I have learned there was nothing ever there and it was all an illusion designed to give birth to flavor and color the creations of my dream.  It’s painful, a bit, to realize all the fear and drama were created for nothing of substance and just when I had learned to cope so well.  The strength gained in such life-long battles are as meaningless as the illusions I created to battle to begin with.

So, what then now but to immerse myself in this feeling of balance and disconcerting peace.  I have no dragons to slay today and I seem to have lost interest or taste in creating them.  Perhaps it is time I learn a new skill…one in which the universe has seemingly already begun to teach me.  Perception, awareness and deeper understanding of the sacred symbols are among my lesson plans and I suddenly now see so much was always hidden right in plain sight.  I smile a little and wince a little chasing away the emerging egotistical self-admonishments for my prior exercises in seeming futility.  Nothing is ever an exercise in futility here and the egos who have learned this now will begin to be taught patience.

Change is on the wind again…always really.  But, this time it’s even less clear what I’ve left for myself to discover.  Even this moment is already recorded in space and although the version of me in this dimension has free will to roam and move about, another part of me has already moved on from this plane and dimension into a future not so far away.  My “connected moments” speak now louder and more clearly than ever before.  There is much yet to learn in this frame for me and so, I do go gratefully and feeling all of the love and support from Source, from Elsewhere and the quiet one’s who rarely speak out loud but communicate regularly with me without words in inklings, feelings, knowings, energy rippling through my body at any given moment and colors (the opalescent ones are my favorites).  To the All of Everything I must say now Thank you, just thank you for this beautiful opportunity for growth in this life and through all my lives in all times, all space and all dimensions.  With what you have given me and brought me through dear others, I think I can find my way now.  I find I am lost no longer and in a very big way, I’m home.

(c) 6/2012 Jaie Hart (I regret that I do not know who painted this beautiful painting so am unable to give proper credit.  It was a random internet find.  If you happen to know - please contact me.  Thanks.)

That Space Between Day and Night

I love that gentle feeling that washes over me after the sun has set.  When the last rays fade into cerulean blue and the clouds moving slowly across the sky begin to fade, there is that precious moment of the space in between daylight and night where so much of this world can be felt.  It is through that feeling that we begin to understand so much about ourselves, this world and our lives and, well, life in general.  I stand often watching as the last of the light as it fades into the black and then all the stars seem to flick on all at once.  Often I find myself thinking at such times that this is more than just a beautiful and amazing world.  There is so much within our grasp in terms of comprehension if only we wanted to comprehend.  There is so much joy that could be had if only we wanted joy.  There is so much love that could be ours, if we only truly wanted that love.  The truth is, these things are everywhere all of the time and we just can’t see.  It’s hard work sometimes to finally see the truth about something.  It requires our participation and more.  There is always a great price to be paid for truth.  To really hold it you must pay with your illusions and the price will almost always seem too steep to contend with.  But, the truth is worth your illusions no matter how much fear wells up from deep inside of you during that first terrifying taste of the truth.  Stand firm and trust yourself knowing that there is no way that we can ever build a firm foundation that has any means of truly supporting us if all we have built is based on illusion on top of illusion.  When finally who we are is replaced with the truth and we learn we are nothing, in that one thin moment of pain, we become everything and every dream, wish and desire suddenly becomes possible.  It may seem like a stretch but it isn’t.

May you find the courage to seek out the truth, to hold it and understand all of the illusions you have created.  May you then find the strength and love enough to see this world through new eyes.  It’s design is pure perfection as is your life.  Blessings of love and light.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)