Painful Life Lessons: Extraordinary Teachers and Precious Moments

I wonder about life as I sit here quietly tapping away on my keyboard.  Outside my wind chimes make a beautiful tinkling sound in the sunny sea breeze of a beautiful day.  The things I have seen have filled the pages of my life with so many things.  There has been much comedy, love, disappointment and tragedy.  I’d say the most important of all was the painful life lessons.  It was those and the teachers who gave them that I am most grateful for.  I may not have thought so at the time and I might have chosen to harden my heart and mind against this world seeing only villains and victims within it.  But something within me, so very deep within me said, “stop, these are not the thoughts we wish to think and these are not the perspectives we most wish to carry.”  I listened some how to that still small voice that must have been shouting above the din of my ego’s poor me feelings.

I laugh gently at myself now for those glory days of tears and anger, frustration and disappointment.  I don’t think I’d like to walk through them again and I don’t think I care to venture into the future either.  I’m finding such peace in a simple moment that I care not to venture outside of it.  Breathing into the amazing wonder of the moment at hand is such a precious gift.  You don’t realize what a precious gift it is until you are breathing it peacefully.  In those moments of ragged and fearful breath there isn’t much to appreciate.  I’ve seen many such moments and I’ve felt the clammy cold terror and panic of letting the mind get too far ahead of itself in “what if.”  There is no “what if” I have learned and to consider otherwise is only borrowing trouble.  Why do we always do that?  Rhetorical question.  These days I think  I try not to let my thoughts get too far away from me.  I can let them stretch back in a few moments only to go over what I think I have learned and realize I did get the lesson and fully. 

Lately I have given much thought to teachers and students and how much we are all that in every moment of our lives.  I smile now as I realize those teachers I decided most to continue learning from and those who with gratitude I blessed as they went on their merry and sometimes not so merry way.  There are worlds from which we can gain so much understanding if you’d get yourself outside the typical paradigm of language, thinking and stretch, stretch, stretch into the beauty of the unknown within this precious moment.  We are here, there and Elsewhere all the time I suppose.  What a treasure that thought is in a moment such as this!

The leaves have begun the process of rebirth from my favorite tree and I can hear her song, Singing River.  The wind rushing through the leaves always soothes my soul like a lullaby.  Precious seconds have escaped in this moment and still here it is, right where I’ve left it.  Paradoxical or not time is sweeping and changing, perceived only and still seemingly rearranging.  It’s a fascinating thought at least I think.  I let my gaze drift from the screen to the sky.  Soon those cerulean blue skies will turn indigo and then black and the stars will be out in abundance and I will still be in this moment.  What a curious thing this moment is.  Our lives begin and end in a moment.  Yesterday was just a moment ago.  Tomorrow may be here in just a moment.  For now, I am still and time?  Who cares.? Life is too precious, too beautiful and I love it.  I’ll be back, in a moment but don’t’ wait for me.  Go have fun exploring this dream.  Just do yourselves a favor and don’t take anything but love and compassion seriously.  Bless.

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

I and the Moment Are One

Cloudy skies and the sun paints the edges of the clouds in silvery golden light.  My consciousness stretched out wide again, I’m opening to whatever thoughts may come.  I am not disappointed for they do come but not in their usual frenetic cacophony but more of a peaceful swirl of curiosity and questioning.  As I notice the motion of them inside, just one begins to rise to the surface:  What do you believe in?  I let the thought linger in the present and reflect upon it without trying to think too much about it.  From my studies in psychology and consciousness I could tear apart most things I believe.  But I don’t give much credence to my beliefs as I see them for what they are, thousands and thousands of thought forms existing within my head as untested hypotheses or provisional truths stated or derived as fact from the outside world of my own perspectives.

There is a feeling within me growing in response to my own question and I relax and let it culminate into conscious cognition.  It comes then, the response:  I believe in this moment.  For in this moment, there is both nothing and everything from the microcosm to the quantum whole of all of reality.  And then I wonder a little more as I let my thoughts gently float into and out of my awareness.  More questions than answers I presume as a measure of my learning and another becomes more clear:  How do you know that this moment exists at all?  I consider these questions and answers reflect in the form of feeling rather than thinking and the swirling then stops.  The thoughts now still have me reaching with my senses again.  I can only seemingly know a moment by the way I sense the moment, by the way I am present in that moment but that brings me no further certainty that it exists definitively outside the scope of my perception.

I’m not the first to wonder of such things and I certainly won’t be the last.  But I like this mental meandering of sorts and its accompanying ever-expanding feeling and so stay with it a bit more wondering where it will lead me.  I trace with a glance, a bank of clouds moving a little faster and lower on the horizon than the larger and darker ones nearer the sun.  I watch the city come fully awake and am wandering amongst a concrete jungle.  So many thoughts beg for attention and I quell them focused on one breath in this moment.  This moment to me is very much like a wave on a sea.  When we are in the midst of a moment there is no before or after, there is no past or future and there is no worry or care.  I like how that feels but it doesn’t answer my question or address my seeming belief in the validity of a moment.  Perhaps a moment isn’t a moment at all but a collective of moments woven by chains in hours and minutes or days and years.  I cannot say with any definitive certainty, for who am I to say anything definitive or certain about anything even my own measure of consciousness? I think I am awake and driving my car down the busy highway.  I see that there are buildings and people walking.  I see there are other drivers driving and still I can’t decide so with certainty that they exist.  I perceive something but a perception, like belief, is not a fact.  It seems so, both – perception and belief.  They seem like truth but time and time again are we proven wrong by science, experience or our own first hand observation from a much higher level of consciousness we may find ourselves momentarily engaged in.

I think the moment is as others have described and being fully present within it is like a surfer on top of a wave, there is no more waiting for it to come or considering it after, there is only the ride in the moment it has become manifest.  To think about those moments awakens a part of our experience that takes the pure and pristine beauty of a moment away.  Every moment is precious whether here, gone or yet to come.  All of time is an expression of our own perception and I’ve had these experiences where time has stopped or sped by extraordinarily fast.  Does it stand on its own outside of my experience?  I could easily argue both yes and no.  Did yesterday exist?  In my perception it did at least as my perception of my own memories tell me.  Will tomorrow exist?  Maybe. I don’t know if it will.  Does today exist?  I think that it does as I hear the wind chimes outside playing a wind facilitated beautiful tune, while the leaves shiver and shake in the sea breeze and I hear the birds singing as well.  But I must admit that each of these things is filtered through the perception that is the way I see the world.  Who is to say that I am right?  What if I’m wrong?

How does one master true understanding then of anything when all we think we know is based only on perception or belief?  I believe in this moment, I thought only moments ago.  But there are other moments I believed in too and now they are gone except in the confines of my conscious memory.  What is more real in my consciousness, that which stands before me or that recalled from memory?  If I go with feeling alone there is no answer and my feelings seem to react the same to memory or “real-time.”  But what is real-time but a moment in motion?  I cannot say even what a moment is or whether it truly exists or doesn’t but I exist as I observe it.  Am I separate at all then, in my consciousness from this moment?  Am I separate at all then in my consciousness from my perceptions or beliefs?  Again, I could answer both yes and no.  But something doesn’t sit right with the feeling within me.

If I throw out all of my thoughts and just be, I am content, sensing an ever expanding existence of consciousness of the big “C” kind.  Is that the Moment?  Are we creating them, the moments?  Do they exist in our memory, our souls or our Spirits or are we sitting in some etheric movie theatre somewhere…Elsewhere watching some form of educational movie we call life?  From a momentary experience I suppose it doesn’t matter whether when I am asleep I dream or I perceive myself awake even if by other standards I am still very much asleep.  My logical mind grasps for the themes, the patterns and the constants and there is only one and that one is most easily expressed as “I.”  Anything in this world or the next may follow that one tiny little letter in our very short alphabet that has meaning beyond that which 100,000 dictionaries, encyclopedias or academics of all sorts could define.  We can all describe a piece from our learning and from our respective perspectives but how much closer does that bring us to understanding a Moment?  I think the Moment is aligned with I.  I and the Moment are one in a way that may make no sense at all.

But it’s fun to toy with my thoughts as the leaves glow brilliant green on the trees and the clouds give way to cerulean blue skies and every single line and angle in my perspective is etched in both dark and light.  Now, in this moment, I have found yet again a tiny little space of peace in having no answers but questions, curiosity with coming knowledge and feeling.  What would a moment be without a feeling?  That, I suppose is a question for another time. 

May you find joy in your life’s moments for all are truly precious in whatever manner you perceive them to be.  May the light brilliantly shine upon the dark shadows of all of your perceptions and beliefs.  In time illumination comes for those who know it will and already has.

© J.L. Harter (photo/words)

Courtesy of the Journal of Metaphysics and Connected Consciousness.

Create a Moment

I was awakened in the darkness by the sound of gentle rain drops falling.  I was smiling before I even opened my eyes.  I laid there for the longest time just listening, feeling the cool breeze through a wide open window.  The curtains seemed to be dancing in the breeze and it set the mood for an easy morning.  After long moments I sat up - again, not wanting to move too fast.  I really wanted to soak in the energy of the morning.  Such a journey have I had of late and I truly wished to enjoy this simple pleasure of morning.  I wanted most to just feel the simple beauty of this moment and let it carry me into the day.

The coffee, part of my morning ritual, smelled amazing while brewing and I stood near my kitchen door with my hand out in the rain.  I stepped out into it letting the child within take control and I smiled for no reason at all - in a moment, truly happy just to be.  It's been a while since I felt pure and simple joy such as this and again, I wanted to really feel it and maybe somehow commit it to my physical memory.  Life holds such gentle and simple beauty sometimes.  If you blink or become overly preoccupied with what you do not have in life, you will miss life's amazing treasures.  A rainy morning is a favorite for me and in the middle of summer too.  I have prayed for a summer storm hoping it would come and wash away from my being the painful sensations of hard lessons learned.  I'm happy to report it did just that and I stand here refreshed, eager and hopeful for the day ahead.

A moment is what you make of it.  I choose to fill mine with thoughts of love, appreciation and a child-like wonder for all that is.  My path is the perfect path - the road I walk, the perfect road and the lessons I have and will learn are the perfect lessons for me now I see.  I pray you find a measure of joy in a moment of freedom...allow it to manifest and it will beautifully consume you. Much love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo random and beautiful internet find)

Metamorphosis

I am traveling while standing here on planet Earth.  It seems as if I am standing still but that is just my perception or a completely false illusion.  How do I know?  Well, science in this case.  You see, I am standing on planet Earth who spins or her axis at over a thousand miles per hour (if one is standing near the equator).  Add to that the fact that this beautiful world is traveling through space around the sun at approximately 67,000 miles per hour in its orbit.  I begin to understand a little better one of the seven Hermetic Principals as is outlined in The Kybalion.  The Principal of Vibration states that, “Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates.”  Every single thing in this universe is moving and then we get to the details on matter and how matter is merely a collection of densely vibrating atoms and molecules.  But I wonder why and how many more illusions there are in this world.

I pause in my thoughts as I spied a lone white seagull circling just above me.  I watched him fly South East until I could make him out no longer and my thoughts picked up and drifted again but this time even further away.  In my mind’s eye I imagined he headed for the distant shores of Elsewhere and would alight with joy upon the pristine grains of sand there.  I find myself often walking blissfully there.  But, lately, things have changed.  The joy of being there I have somehow seemed to miss lately even though I return often as some sort of sacred self-duty.  I know if I didn’t go at all, my soul would ache.  Lately when I arrive I find that my soul seems to ache any way.

As much as I enjoy coming full circle at the point of finally attaining the wisdom of lessons learned, I do not care for the seeming pause as the velocity and impetus within me slows, shifts and changes.  I sigh a little knowing I am no longer who I thought I was.  I’m no longer a fearful malleable soul awaiting direction or for someone to notice me standing here.  With much divinely gathered assistance over the past 18 months have I combed the sands of time finding the clues that lead me to all of the places I had unwittingly discarded or given away pieces of my own soul.  I took myself apart a long time ago for reasons that would never even closely resemble the word “reason” here today.

I found my light in the darkness and in the process learned the darkness held nothing to fear but imaginary wrathful deities like monsters under the bed.  At some point we grow from fearful children and begin to gain the courage enough to have an honest look at those things we feared existed in the darkness under our beds.  Lately, I have learned there was nothing ever there and it was all an illusion designed to give birth to flavor and color the creations of my dream.  It’s painful, a bit, to realize all the fear and drama were created for nothing of substance and just when I had learned to cope so well.  The strength gained in such life-long battles are as meaningless as the illusions I created to battle to begin with.

So, what then now but to immerse myself in this feeling of balance and disconcerting peace.  I have no dragons to slay today and I seem to have lost interest or taste in creating them.  Perhaps it is time I learn a new skill…one in which the universe has seemingly already begun to teach me.  Perception, awareness and deeper understanding of the sacred symbols are among my lesson plans and I suddenly now see so much was always hidden right in plain sight.  I smile a little and wince a little chasing away the emerging egotistical self-admonishments for my prior exercises in seeming futility.  Nothing is ever an exercise in futility here and the egos who have learned this now will begin to be taught patience.

Change is on the wind again…always really.  But, this time it’s even less clear what I’ve left for myself to discover.  Even this moment is already recorded in space and although the version of me in this dimension has free will to roam and move about, another part of me has already moved on from this plane and dimension into a future not so far away.  My “connected moments” speak now louder and more clearly than ever before.  There is much yet to learn in this frame for me and so, I do go gratefully and feeling all of the love and support from Source, from Elsewhere and the quiet one’s who rarely speak out loud but communicate regularly with me without words in inklings, feelings, knowings, energy rippling through my body at any given moment and colors (the opalescent ones are my favorites).  To the All of Everything I must say now Thank you, just thank you for this beautiful opportunity for growth in this life and through all my lives in all times, all space and all dimensions.  With what you have given me and brought me through dear others, I think I can find my way now.  I find I am lost no longer and in a very big way, I’m home.

(c) 6/2012 Jaie Hart (I regret that I do not know who painted this beautiful painting so am unable to give proper credit.  It was a random internet find.  If you happen to know - please contact me.  Thanks.)