The Simplicity of Grace and Gratitude

 

 

The trees stood as silhouetted sentinels emerging from the last traces of darkness.  Morning light came in gently painted broad swaths of smokey pink and orange light that gently blanketed the view from my window. 

 

The hum of highway traffic echoing in the distance streamed in along with the cool morning temperatures. 

 

I became a silent witness to this strange beauty unfolding second by second on an otherwise ordinary day in a life.

 

As if this weren’t beautiful enough, the first traces of bird song began faintly and grew closer as the Earth turned toward the sun.

 

Coffee warm in contrast with cool fresh air, the emerging light and fading darkness, the silent witnessing and uplifting birdsong – I’m so grateful for this moment.  

 

This precious moment I took time to watch closely and feel every breath of is unique and will never ever come again.

 

When the turning in your world finds you feeling chaotic, disappointed, or frustrated,  pare back your thoughts, your plans, and your motion to the simple and basic.  Observe the beauty in life and if you can calm yourself into the presence of the moment, you might just be fortunate enough to find a moment of precious grace.  

 

That grace is woven through everything in existence, and should you take the time to meet it face to face with an open, vulnerable, and curious heart, you will never be the same.  You will come to realize just how precious life is in all of its myriad forms here. 

 

I’m thankful for this day.  Sending you all blessings of gratitude.

 

© 2025 photo and words, Jaie Hart

Fallish Contemplations - Waxing Philosophical - Spiritual

 

I think when the Universe was seemingly taking a baseball bat to every structure in life that I built, I tended to write a lot more.  As I wrote about this or that, I tended to start to sort things out so I could try to figure things out.  This went on for years and years and then something happened.  Well, maybe it was a string of things but one day, I opened my eyes and there was nothing there but peace after a night of dreams where everything seemed to be in my favor.  I thought, is it over?  Is the chaos of quadruple PhD level life lessons coming all at once finally over?  Well, maybe not but the intensity of emotion and the victim feelings and also the feeling of emotional upheaval and panic was definitely was over.

 

What came in the place of all that chaotic emotion?  To put it simply, Understanding…not just of the universe and all of its many and infinitely varied machinations, not just of psychology and how in each of us healthy psychology is dotted with moments of a childhood (and past lives even) frozen within us in time creating actions, unconscious reactions and the like. That understanding left me with greater compassion and a very clear knowing that the world is not black and white – it is gray, violet, red, green, blue, turquoise, white, fuchsia, orange and hot pink!  It left me with greater understanding of what I remained open to, what I was closed to and what I remained ever so curious about.  I’ll be honest, years and years of upheaval triggered a kundalini awakening nearly 10 years ago and then everything sort of fell apart belief-wise within me.  It all started to dissolve – what I wanted for a career, illusions about family, friendships and what makes us good or bad or wrong or right.  They should really have more clinical help for those who go through a kundalini awakening.  It is a physical-mental-spiritual crisis-like experience that can take years to sort out (if you ever sort it all out).

 

In a way, it helps to purge those things within us that really no longer serve if (and that is a very big IF) and only if you are willing to let things go, remain curious enough to see more sides than just your limited experience and perceptions of things (which are incredibly shaped by your psychology – yep).  The further I got from my peak experience, the harder it became for me to write about anything.  I sort of lost my interest in trying to figure everything out and instead, as much as I could, I tried to just focus more on beingmore present, breathing, letting things and people be as they are and learn to fully trust myself to show up and deal with whatever showed up on my path.  And I have and I know that I will continue to do so (even if I have to do that scared sometimes).

 

Heavy duty and prolonged emotional stress takes a toll on a body and mind.  If you do not change the way you look at things or the limited beliefs that perhaps unwittingly skewed your perspective up to the point you encounter intense and prolonged stress, you may fold up within it.  That's not necessarily a bad thing - to fold up within it and take some extra time and self-care to manage it. Our fear of that happening is actually worse than it is.  I had a near nervous breakdown within months of my kundalini experience.  In my best recollection it seems like so many unconscious things were attempting to resolve themselves lightning fast (more quickly than I could contemplate what was going on, prepare to manage and respond to).  I worked through that period carefully, with tons of help and support and I finally came out the other side not unscathed but stronger.  Not just stronger but more grounded, settled, self-reliant, more willing to show up for and stand up for myself, more willing to follow my inner urgings of what I want and need most, and more able to take things as they come. 

 

I don’t have all the answers I thought a kundalini experience would bring but I got to feel something that is beyond words. In memory, it now seems like it was an experience of conscious me touching the purest part of the soul of my higher self – no judgement, no fear, no worry, just utter love and complete acceptance within a beautiful moment in time.  I guess when you touch something like that, it is bound to change you and I do, in fact, feel very changed.  Now, back to what reminded me of all of this...  It was the shockingly vibrant and gorgeous colors of the setting sun the other night.  So many colors I can’t even name but neon red, pink, orange and yellow, pastel blue, pink and purple, smokey gray, light gray and punctuated beautiful by stars.  Yeah, stars – the first ones in the fading light that followed.  In that moment, the beauty was so pure and simple, it reminded me of my kundalini experience – the explosion of colors that you don’t just see but feel and hear, touch and taste in this inexplicable way no one has every prepared you to experience.  It was a good memory.  It was truly a beautiful sunset. 

 

As the color slowly drained from the sky, the fiery display having peaked and now waning, I looked back at how far I have come in my life, the decisions made, actions taken, hard work completed and even some still ongoing.  I sat there in the nearing dark for many quiet moments smiling from ear to ear and feeling the Earth turning deep within the soul of me.  This is a good life.  I love this life.  I love all who are experiencing it at this time.  I love all who have come before, those who will come again and those who have yet to come.  Wishing you blessings for sense making of your life lessons, healing for all the things that pain you, patience for all the things that vex you and compassion for every moment you need it. 

 

© 2021 J.L. Harter (photo and words)

Chasing Rainbows is a Worthy Endeavor - Just Don't Mind the Rain

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Watching the sunrise through gray skies and rain is no less beautiful than when the clouds are all gone.  The colors change but even the shades of gray broken up by fresh green grass and the few leaves left on the trees washed clean can be incredibly inspirational.  The quality of the color of the skies leading up to and then following those rainy days are like magic to me.  Sometimes I think I know all of the colors and then I’ll drive into the sunrise awestruck at having discovered new shades of smoky neon pink and silver and golden tinged peach.  Oh, can you just imagine it?  For nearly half a century I’ve watched the sun rise and set and still I am learning about new colors?!  What?!

Okay, maybe that’s a bit too peppy for this cool rainy Sunday but I don’t really care.  I love it when it rains and I love it when it doesn’t.  I love every day and when I think of my life in this way I find the colors change.  Blue is not just blue, it’s cerulean or azure.  Red isn’t just red, it’s scarlet or crimson.  Your perception is what you allow it to be.  It can be heavy with the filters of your experiences in life that limit the colors right in front of you OR it can be transparent and open allowing the full spectrum of unanticipated or before known to you colors to appear on your horizons in the blink of an eye.  It’s amazing when you notice the befores and the afters.

I have seen dark stormy days that seemed like they’d never end.  Sometimes this or that created this filter of experience that left me feeling as if I were trapped in this vortex of absolute dire distress, doom and gloom.  Lucky for me I figured out that such moments are usually short in duration if and only if I decide to shove the negativity out of my perspective and open up to the lesson instead.  What caused the darkness to enter my realm of experience?  Was it the lingering past hurt I forgot about?  Was it that one that occurred so long ago I allowed to be reinforced over and over again unchallenged?  Was it just an unfortunate series of tragedies and stress?  No matter.  All can still eventually be dealt with through greater understanding. There is a reason we encounter the things we do and it is up to us regarding how we wish to integrate that into our experience. 

At first it doesn’t seem like we have a choice.  Environmental psychology may have dictated our deeply ingrained beliefs laced with fear and wounding.  But, when we begin to understand the true source of those things, challenge all facets of thwm in terms of proving the beliefs to be truths or a series of misguided falsehoods, we can learn to embrace a new experience all-together and one free from the filters of the past psychological trauma and drama.  It can be done.  I’m telling you from experience and not just some made up positivity mumbo jumbo that won’t do you any good.  I have walked through the darkness of despair.  I have challenged my beliefs and rooted out their misguided existence and I have faced the pain, the terror, the fear and worry and then a light appeared at the end of a very long, dark and lonely road…freedom….the colors of life in a full spectrum…and all the love in the universe.

I won’t lie, it’s not an easy road and there is no one that can bring you there, give you a pill or point you to a drive through where you order up some healing to lift the filters of a life filled with malware and pain.  You have to be the one who wants to do the work first and then it is you who must map out the steps, find a way to leave behind you the fear of the dark and embrace hard work, roll up your sleeves and dig into the stuff that just prevents you from experiencing the beauty and magic of this world.  Sometimes you do need help with that – so get it. What are you waiting for anyway?  (smiles).  You can do so much to create joy, beauty and magic in your life.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you do need to invest in yourself in some way.  Figure out what makes you tick; figure out what you really love without the filters of worry, fear and pain.  Find something healthy to do to lift your spirits knowing that THAT is your true state and if you are not now in it, you can be.  You really can be.

The picture above is not the prettiest picture or the best shot I could have taken and that doesn’t even matter…what matters is I saw it…a beautiful rainbow right there in the sky and I shot it to remember that the memory of the rain coming in to cover the sun brought me the gift of a rainbow.  There are so many gifts in life if we decide to look for the beauty, the color and enjoy life even if a storm is rolling in.  We were meant to enjoy life.  Find a way, a very whole and healthy way and walk that road not with hope born of fear it cannot be but with the very strong faith born of love and truth that lies deep within the heart of you to get you there.  You can.  Really!

 

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

Soul Medicine

 

I somehow managed to sleep twelve hours last night.  On my way home from work, I happened to catch a huge full moon rising just above the mountains.  It looked 3 times it normal size and to see it rising in a sea of cerulean blue was just breath taking.  I think it is that vision of amazing beauty that made me so peaceful and relaxed that I slept more than I have in a very long time.  When I finally awakened this morning, the sun was already up and the birds were singing so sweetly right outside my bedroom window.  I thought how wonderful it might be to wake up like this every morning.  I made my way through my simple morning routine and headed towards my wonderful friend, the coffee maker!  As I was making coffee, I noticed the sky was a deep cerulean blue and clear as far as my eyes could see (picture is of that very view).  The night's chill had already worn off as the rays of the sun cast everything in a beautiful golden glow.  Once the coffee was made, I stepped outside onto my patio and decided to sit near my tiny little purple garden.  I cannot tell you the peace that resonated just gazing at tiny flowers in varied hues of purple and violet.  It set my entire being at ease.  I gazed at a very small statue of a beautiful angel that stands guard in my little garden and the white contrasting with the deep brown of the soil and the deep green of my beautiful plants and then the colors, my what a beautiful morning I thought.

This moving slowly, fully rested, is such a pure and simple pleasure.  I'm reminded how important giving yourself this kind of gentleness is.  We really must take the time to give ourselves some soul medicine.  We give ourselves soul medicine by adjusting our vision to a focus purely on the positive, solely on the beauty within our current field of vision and allowing the feeling of life to pulse consciously through our veins.  Breathing deeply in morning sunshine, hearing the birds and noticing the vast array of colors our vision can take in is such a blessing and can initiate one of the most beautiful feelings on Earth...bliss.  Gratitude can bring you there so quickly if you let it and you decide to choose to open your mind, heart and soul fully to it.

Be gentle with yourselves today dear souls.  Choose something to appreciate and feel fully grateful for.  Breathe in the pure beauty of the emotion of gratitude and feel your own well of love within pulsing and radiating outward in response to your choice.  Love and light beautiful dreamers.  May your journey today be peace-filled and full of love.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words/photos)

Painting a Life Anew

I opened my eyes in the darkness and saw a few unexpected characters staring back at me:  4:00 am.  My mind scrambled to remember what day it was to quickly determine if I could nestle back into cool soft sheets and drift back into my dreams or if I had to rise and get ready for a busy day.  I quickly remembered it was the latter and not the former but I laid there in the dark gazing up at the ceiling for a few moments longer anyway.  I wished in that moment I could see the stars and so decided to get up and start moving, get myself downstairs to make coffee and step out side to see what I could see.  Moments later, with coffee in hand, the back patio door slid open and into the cool and darkness of early morning I went.  There was an electric anticipation about me, so palpable and well, I could actually hear the energy this morning (a strange and new sense that has developed over the past few months).  I sat down in my chair placed next to my beautiful purple daisies that glow even in the darkness and I looked up at the sky.  Saddened for a moment was I to discover a coastal blanket of clouds had obscured the view of my twinkling friends.  No matter, I thought to myself as I took a sip of warm bitter sweet coffee.  I collected my bearings a few moments longer and my thoughts of the events of late kicked in.

So many levels of understanding descends upon my consciousness and I see how my own mind betrays me at times by fighting to stick with old paradigms that I ultimately know are useless.  I stand firm in my own light in this moment and set my intent to let go of old thoughts that no longer serve me.  I relax again and think back over the emotions of the past few days.  There have been no significant events to speak of but rather memories that surfaced bringing with them strange emotions.  Sadness tried to rise to my consciousness and I realized again that was the old paradigm trying one last time to retain a stronger hold in my experience and I smiled there in the dark knowing that provisional truth ultimately holds no sway over me any longer.  I understand things in a different way today than ever before.  We create much in this world, so much and we don't question things enough.  We should question our own thoughts and emotions, test them for universal versus provisional truth much more often than we do.  I recalled the painting I began working on late last night.  I picked the deepest blue I had in my supply that I find is so beautiful, reminiscent of lapis lazuli.  Not knowing what I intended to paint, I filled the page with just that.  The color was so soothing and the tactile effort of each stroke sent joy through me for the simple act of creating.

Then I pulled out some more paints and before me a sundown sky scene began to materialize and while my paintings do not contain the expert realism that others do, the essence of my vision unfolds and will most definitely be felt.  I realized my work is my view, my expression and my creation.  It may never be understood or appreciated fully by others but this painting is not for anyone else but me...just like my life...I do not live it here for the pleasure of others.  I am here for the experiences I wish most to create and I have enjoyed every single experience I have created in this life so far.  I look back seeing the paintings of old, the stories and scenes that were my life.  I see the pictures from boredom I created.  I see the ones from fear I created.  I also see the ones from love that I created.  All the experiences are worthy experiences with not one scene ever truly wasted.  It is the collective of our experience we are after and we unwittingly seek most often to refine certain aspects of our creation and so we create the scenes again and again with new actors and tools and we experience the same things and wondering if we might have a different result.  It's funny, I think to realize how many times I've used the same colors, the same techniques and attempted to end up with a different painting.

So, this quiet time of morning finds me in good cheer.  Yeah, I did wake up way too early on my day off and I could still be sleeping but I'm grateful as I sit here watching the clouds turn from a dark gray directly above me to a slightly tinged pink in the East.  The sun, she comes and will brighten my day and my twinkling friends, oh, I'll see them tonight and toast them with a delicious glass of red, some classical music with deep and heavy notes on the violin and I will breathe in the lessons of the day and enjoy the things that I have learned.

Blessings of great love, rich experience and joy to fill your day with something exciting dear souls.  Your lives are so beautiful and painted so amazingly.  Find an aspect of them you most enjoy creating and create them again from a different perspective just for the fun of it, just for the joy of it and just for the opportunity to gain mastery over the tools at your disposal.  Heck, be really crazy for just a moment and create some new tools out of the old and watch in amazement at the new scenes you can create.  Much love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)