Shifting Focus and Entertaining Change

A silent morning spent sipping warm coffee and I find my mind wandering.  Days and weeks have had me thinking, wondering and worrying about way too many things.  I feel the change in season and very much love the fall but within me grows the need for more change, a deeper change as if a new direction is about to open up and I'm so very curious to see what that might be.  I need to change some things in my life as I've come to learn that some things no longer fit.  More accurately, I no long fit a framework that I, myself, have created.  The challenge or worry comes in that this one thing has kept everything so very consistent for so long and has assured me of a level of comfort.  The change feeling runs deep though and I know the only thing that I really have to do is just remain open and meet it graciously when it comes.

What does one do when they don't know what to do but the feel they must do?  I know the answer and my ego doesn't like it.  My ego wants to control and establish a security that doesn't exist except within its construct only.  Security is a funny thing.  How secure can a tiny life form be on a giant round rock spinning on it's axis somewhere around a thousand miles per hour while traveling through space around a little star at over 33,000 miles per hour in a much larger galaxy that is also in motion?  We are subject to anything and everything from biological, geologic and astronomical forces from a physical perspective.  If that were not worrisome enough, we have our own tiny microcosmic psychological matters to deal with as sentient beings.  I'm not writing this to scare or worry anyone really, just to point out a huge illusion that we all hold and the pointlessness of worry - even though I seem to have become a master of that particular negative activity at times.  Thankfully I look at those very moments as opportunities to realize fear is somewhere in my midst and its time to focus not on what is big and scary in this world but the lies I tell myself that generate unnecessary fears.

I watched a program on the Discovery Channel yesterday about an experiment conducted using random number generators and how at times of different significant events in the world, the randomness of the generators was affected by the morphic fields surrounding this Earth's inhabitants.  It made me realize how much I did not want to be an individual putting more negativity out there into the mix that everyone else must contend with.  I'm a sensitive soul who feels energy.  When tragedy occurs in the world, I feel it.  When beautiful things occur in this world, I feel it.  I realize at some level that I must be responsible, entirely, for what I put out there.  So, I come back to my local worrisome meanderings and realize they stem from my own ego's need to control a change I feel coming that cannot be controlled.  It's really ridiculous and humorous at the same time.  So, I stop the anxious thoughts for a moment and breathe in the peace and cool of this most beautiful fall morning.  We are always in a state of flux and change and no matter what happens, we go on whether physically and psychologically sound or, well, not.  It is what it is and what we think determines our experience.  I do not wish to have a negative experience in this life as that is not why I came here.  I wish to learn to relax a little better a times in my own skin and realize that everything in my play happens for a reason, a reason I wanted or a reason I needed (whether I liked it or not).

So, I shift my thought process as I sit here typing away to a completely different paradigm.  If I go over the facts of my own feelings that lie much deeper within at my core than mere random egotistical thoughts and ignorantly attached emotion.  Deepest within my knowing, I implicitly trust me.  I also know my own limits, strengths, challenges and opportunities.  I think rather than superficially feeling uneasy about seemingly impending change I will rest more peacefully knowing that it's my play and I will cast it and direct it and set the scenes up in a way that ultimately supports me quite positively.  I open myself trustingly to this change I feel is coming and the anxiety and uneasiness falls away.  It's not an easy process to trust....trust self or trust others, let alone trust in a plan you cannot easily recall.  Opportunity here in this place is endless.  We can seek the wisdom of opportunity rather than dispair over the perception of challenge experienced negatively.  It's all in our minds as is this entire experience of life anyway.  We're so amazingly powerful but we forget just how much so.

I think I shall sit back and breathe for a bit, take comfort in the void of nothingness, relax into curiosity rather than trepidation and learn to be a bit more present.  It's so hard sometimes but as I've often written, its worth the effort to work at it until you get it right, until you breathe in that one moment where you feel the energy within you rise in perfect harmony with all that is.  Those are precious moments and infinitely more rewarding than entertaining continually the bouts of discomfort and fear.  There is love to be had here and not the kind that can hold any definition of full and complete meaning in any dictionary or other book.  Love is the expansive energy that holds so much of what we experience together.  Trusting in that to bring about positive and necessary change in life is a beautiful experience.  I'm off to some silent contemplation of nothing for a short time.  I find comfort in the silence, peace in the stillness and love when I can silence the mind by letting the thoughts go one by one.  ~Blessings for a peaceful journey beautiful dreamers.  I pray you find your own spaces of curiosity over control, peace over worry and love over fear.

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo copyright as noted on photo)

The Impending Reveal

I love the clean slate of a brand new day.  One can forget all that has transpired for good or ill, reap the benefits of the lessons learned from days past and apply them as the world has made one more revolution on it's axis.  I find it interesting sometimes how things seem to stand still, exceptionally still, maybe way too still.  And that concept of stillness is actually ludicrous considering that our planet revolves fairly quickly as it spins and moves around the sun.  Everything evolves through its designated process, sheds what no longer belongs and emerges new and changed afterward.  There is this cocoon phase to everything it seems and our lives are really no different.  The problem is that I've always struggled with this part, just like how I struggle with winter each year.  Many love that time of death/rebirth but I never have.  While I can appreciate the season and it's time for rest and regeneration, it always seems to me to be the longest season there is.  That makes me laugh because it is all a matter of perception and perspective and those that I hold are not the truth.  So, as I sit here writing I realize as the seasons change from spring to near summer, there is this freezing, death and regeneration cycle happening for me on another plane of existence.  I am not quite sure what its for even though I know what created it. 

There is this sense of connection to everything and yet, at the same time, a complete disconnection from everything.  The dichotomy is a bit crazy making or, well, at least a bit confusing.  There are times in our lives where things just seem to stay the same no matter how many changes we attempt to make.  But again, the "seem" word conveys a perception.  There is nothing about this time in this incarnation for me that is staying the same.  Everything is in motion, everything is in upheaval and everything is coming to that very thin moment of ending-beginning.  I can feel it.  I hate the waiting part and would just like to get on with it whatever "it" is that is emerging but I know its futile to think such thoughts and so I laugh again at myself for thinking these things. I guess I have just so many questions at so many levels of existence and I'm eager to get this whatever it is behind me so I can reconnect and begin my queries and journey again.  I don't care for this feeling and I do not know why.  Perhaps it reminds me of the void - this place where my consciousness existed but nothing else seemed to for a few moments.  I do know and realize however, that the void had no true absence of light or motion. The Hermetic Principal on that one resonates deeply with me in that all is in motion, everything changes.  This is a fact in this frame as well as others.  As long as consciousness exists, everything changes and moves.  To me that means the whole of the universe, every thought, all the energy in this plane and others also moves and changes.  We can stand still in this frame and think we are really standing still but we cannot be...our minds/consciousness do not cease their movement, nor does the stop Earth spinning on it's axis orbiting around the sun.  The only thing that freezes is liquid in forms that when exposed to cold environmental temperatures changes its form but it never stops moving.

Funny about that very thought right there...exposure to environment and changing form.  Hmmm, now that thought will have me comparing, contrasting, researching and understanding for a little while to come.  Everything I have experienced in my environment up to this point in my life has been about changing my form.  I think a little about the subtle changes that occur to us humans the longer we traverse planet Earth.  We begin to fade, it seems from this dimension and we transform and change into something else.  The signs appear in our hair and our skin, our vision in this world changes as we begin to embrace another dimension...in this world we fade away...but we emerge Elsewhere...hmmmm, what a beautiful thought and now I am really smiling...so an adjustment in my own trajectory I now perceive and am suddenly released from this feeling of stasis...the gears begin to turn again in a new direction...and that direction emerges as I take steps...a little more revealed every day.  I feel like a kid the night before school starts in the fall (okay, I have freely admitted that I was a nerd).  I loved that first day so much.  I never knew what it would hold for me...good times or bad times, maybe in between times.  But it would be ultimately good and nearly almost always was.  So, off with me then into this beautiful day of life of love and of learning.  Blessings to you as your travel through your day today.  What new thought or thing will reveal itself magically to you today?  Get to it and go find out! :)

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Blazing Light to Life

I love the stillness in the cool of morning.  Darkness still shadows familiar things until the birds begin to gently sing.  Soon the sun will climb over the horizon setting the sky ablaze with golden light.  Pale blue sky and clouds will gently be replaced by slowly brightening colors of life.  Anticipating the beauty is it's own gift, I think.  The days are always beautiful in life to me but I see things differently often.  Mired of late in this mental state of weeding through thoughts to glean the remaining bits and pieces of lessons learned has left me yearning for the simple beauty that only nature can provide.  As I sit here thinking over a delicious and warm cup of coffee, my mind wanders back through a beautiful memory.  It was a warm summer morning with all the makings of a very hot summer day in gentle progress.  Already I could smell the scent of the grass, summer flowers in bloom and a gentle breeze straying from the ocean.  A butterfly flew across my field of vision and I watched her land on the daisies right next to me.  I was lost in the patterns and colors on her wings, enchanted by the glowing core of the flowers and tasting the freedom of a day with no school.  Childhood memories can be the best and the worst sometimes but that is all a matter of perspective and that which we wish to call to and hold within us.  I choose the light as my point of focus and always patiently await it's appearance.  I am never disappointed in that regard for the light of life is everywhere and in everything.

I step out onto my patio sensing the coming of the sun's first rays.  Under the now dimly lit skies I see my own flowers glowing in the darkness.  I think I feel them more than I see them but the effect is no less mesmerizing to me.  I love Mother Earth's beautiful displays that tantalizing open and waiting senses.  Such beauty is part of what makes this place draw souls like butterflies to beautiful daisies.  Life, is purely amazing.  Life, so rich in color, depth and experience.  It's hard to imagine not holding gratitude for the opportunity just to be present incarnate.  Like a child on a warm summer day do I greet every single day of my life.  You may not think to find freedom in the grown up drudgery of work and obligations but I find great joy in my responsibilities and pure pleasure in taking accountability for my wants, needs and actions.  I've come to a place where victim thinking cannot take hold to one ounce of the light within me.  My light shines so brightly it burns such darkness away.  I am aware of the thinking as I spent most of my life there and then I realized that the happenings in life are not so personal as if to serve only to deter, demean and diminish us.  Life's happenings are meant to test our constitutions, our resilience and beautiful creativity.

This day holds for me opportunities as yet unknown but I hold no fear nor worry at all.  I have agreed to take life as it comes and appreciate every scene as if it were a petal of a beautiful flower unfolding.  The further I go, the essence and fragrance becomes part of my existence.  My energy, my vision and my dreams are alive and I abide not one moment in negative or destructive thoughts.  My heart craves the love and the light and within there is more than an abundance.  You just have to see and look, train your eyes to recognize the beauty, the patterns and love hidden sometimes in the seemingly mundane.  Exit the restless self-aggrandizing ego and embrace the feeling in the soul.  We are by far more powerful than sinking lowly souls crawling for crumbs in the outside world to lift us up by bringing others down, stealing away power and pushing people down.  Unnecessary tools for dishonorable and painful existence are these.  We do not need them.  At any time, any soul can stand up tall and be embraced by the light of love.  Layers of pain and lies may have to be gently peeled away but the love and light are there.  Beneath the surface, like diamonds in coal.  We need only train ourselves to see what is there in all regards and choose our experiences accordingly.  It's so simple that it seems impossible sometimes.  Having crawled on my belly more times than I can count in life, I know the beauty of that moment when you realize no one holds you down or back but you and your own uneducated thoughts. For more than forty years have I studied this ability in life.  I have watched the struggles and the successes...the origins of darkness and light are the same and it is our perception that shapes our actions and they repeat with the same results until we change our view and learn.  Then we can take new action in line with new lessons learned and reach beyond the illusory aspects of our past thinking that seemingly held us down.

We have an infinite ability to rise above and to transcend lower-level thinking and action.  For some the realizing may take much effort and even require assistance at times but the beauty in life is that what ever you need and passionately hold in your mind, conscious creation will manifest just what you hold most for you.  When we stop creating in fear, life becomes so interesting.  I think back now to that sunny summer day as a child of 9 born to observe in this life, with a knack for looking always for the light that etches even the dark things in some form of beauty.  Time passes so quickly now and I'm grateful for every warm summer day, for every dark and rainy one too.  I have lived in a beautiful world and had many beyond beautiful experiences.  For 40 years have I studied, for a few more yet, have I just observed and I smile now as even more memories coalesce in my conscious vision. And then it comes, the first rays of the sun.  I'm going to sing her up into the sky along with the birds here in my own way.  For no other reason than the fact that I'm so very glad to be here, so glad to be alive and so honored to see these colors blazing light to life on another glorious day of my life here on Earth.  ~Blessings.

(c) Jaie Hart 6/12 (Photo, random but so beautiful fortunate internet find)