Morning Thoughts Over Coffee

It seems such a strange time but I suppose everything moves in cycles and circles and those said cycles and circles continue to spin time out of time.  I’ve seen so much in terms of present day experience from cosmic order, to conspiracy theories.  I can’t pretend to know which is the truth, so, to be completely honest, I don’t bother.  It’s not that I don’t care, it is that maybe I care a bit too much.  I can’t worry so much about who did what…cover up…or why because if I carry each thread to it’s nuanced conclusion, I’m still right back where I started and so are all of those that choose that particular path.  It is a path to nowhere and so…and those two little words are so powerful: “And So.”

Regardless of this theory or that disaster, so far, my family is being safe, cautious and just getting on with the days as much as we can.  My heart breaks every time I hear about my fellow human beings suffering and then I pray.  What else can I do that would be more helpful?  Social media is filled with ridiculous judgment and rather than get too upset, I understand what it truly is…fear, fear and, you guessed it, more fear.  There are times in our lives where the prevailing energy of the masses seems to be stemming from the energy of fear.  Try, if you can, not to get caught up in sticky negative fear.  It’s a big old human fly trap, a non-starter perspective that will have you spinning, spooled up and spat out no better than before you started.

The trick in these times is just to breathe,  stay here in the moment, focus on what is directly before you without reaching too far ahead in your thoughts or reaching behind you wishing things had been different.  If wishes made a difference, we’d all be in a different boat I suppose.  But we aren’t.  So, for now, right now, I’m sitting here breathing…grateful for a nice cup of half decaf in my favorite Doctor Who Coffee Mug.  The sun is up and the birds are singing.  I’ve got a delicious desert breeze gently blowing through the open screen door. My part of the world is gently stirring and I know that each human will do the best that they can this day and honestly in many ways, it’s like any other day and any other time in life. It isn't the end of the world.  The sun is up, the skies are there and the grass still sways in a breeze.

Starting a daunting task with fear isn’t the end of the world, it just means you let fear ride along a little bit until you decide to let it go.  And when it goes, you can find and grab hold of gratitude.  It is a saving grace, I assure you.  So many lives are lost day in and day out - some for understandable reasons and many not.  Is that new?  Is that something to be afraid of?  Is that something that would make you revert back to the stature of a cornered cat striking out at anything and everything that comes within reach hissing and claws out?  How does that help at the end of the day?  Who does that truly hurt, if you give it a cold hard look?  Truly it hurts only you and those who love you.  So, relax a bit as much as you can.  Take in a slow and intentional breath. 

Listen, you are precious.  Your every breath and step matters.  Life is hard sometimes but sometimes you have to just get on with it.  Eat a cookie! Paint a picture. Meditate under a tree.  Pray if you want to.  Smile at strangers instead of sitting in judgment of them while making a hundred thousand assumptions about why and how they are out to get you for this reason or that.  Do something helpful for yourself or better yet, others.  You have infinite power to make a difference in this world in the positive but you’ll never do it if fear has settled over your soul and you succumb to it.  We must be vigilant against letting fear settle in over our souls.  See it, acknowledge it – don’t try to change it – but realize what it is and know this – I mean really know this, you can still be the best you despite the fear and worry that this awful permeating energy can bring you.  

Every day, do something kind.  Instead of finding what is wrong with someone today, whoever crosses your path, I challenge you to consider what good you can find in them.  Shift your thinking from fearful judgment to helpful acceptance or aspirational compassion.  Be disciplined about it.  If your mind automatically goes towards negative judgment of others – okay fine – let your mind be but then, add in a complementary thought.  Strive to understand.  Understanding won’t fix what is wrong in the world but it sure does take the personal sting out of an illusory attack!  If you want to take a war-like stance, do it to minimize fear! Hold compassion as the highest ideal today if you want less of a bumpy ride today.  At the end of the day, we are one.  My prayers go out today to all who struggle with fear, anxiety, worry and dis-ease.  I pray the beauty in this world and in her inhabitants shines today brighter than the sun and in the most beautiful  of ways.  Be strong you beautiful souls.  You’ve got this.  You really do.  I’m rooting for you, everyone of you.  Blessings of peace, compassion, health and safety to one and all.

Copyright 2020, Jaie Hart (photo/words)

The Wisdom of the Elements

Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?  I have, some time ago.  Nothing could have prepared me for the absolute breath-taking view.  You don’t realize how very tiny you are until you stand beside it, feel the ancient energy of it and imagine its creation.  I don’t know exactly why, but I was remembering the Grand Canyon in a dream I had a few nights ago.  I didn’t recall it for its aesthetic beauty and grandeur.  I recalled it because of what my mind has been wrestling with forever, it seems.

The steadfast rock and Earth surrounds us, water flows within and around us.  Great rivers erode the rock slowly over time and yet in some place and at some times, the work of the water flowing etches gently and cuts deeply into the Earth.  If you think about it or truly realize it, as stunningly beautiful as the Grand Canyon is – remember, it was created by water flowing over rock and wind whipping through it over time. I think of us, mere mortals, our daily trials and tribulations and even the minor things we tend to get so upset about.  To me, it’s all like water flowing over rocks and wind whipping through.  We may be etched and cut into by the various elements of existence that flow around and through us in our experience but we are no less beautiful in the end than before our lives began.

We do so many things, we strive to achieve this or that, to acquire, to gather and hold things to us and that is a funny thing to me.  Nothing remains forever just as it is.  Life here is forever changing, merging, falling away - blowing away even. We fly, we crash, and we tumble and flow.  Just like the wind, the water, just like the rocks we live upon.  We can stand firm in the fullness of our being and let life flow within and around us.  It doesn’t matter what we do, what we achieve, what we learn or acquire, the part of us that witnesses all of our life-experience, remains the same – unharmed and ever transformed.  We live, we breathe and we die but there is that part of us that remains untouched like the day we were born, pure and pristine.  It doesn’t matter what we go through and grow through because in the end, that pure and pristine part of us lives on.

The point of this is not that you should not acquire, grow or learn as you live and breathe in this life but rather that you should understand what remains and what changes.  In a way, what remains and changes is the same.  That is confusing in a way.  Perhaps it is all about aspects and perspectives of what we choose, how we take in an experience or how it is we might use it?  We ARE.  No matter what we have or don’t, who supports us or won’t, how we live or die – no matter what, we still ARE.  We are made neither greater nor lesser by what we do really.  We still ARE.  If we dress Class Act, or bare cozy and comfy, we still just ARE.  I think that the more I live, the more I understand what nature is trying so hard to teach us.

These observations and thoughts didn’t come to me all at once.   These thoughts didn’t occur to or comfort me as I acquired and gathered, or while I surrendered and lost.  Whether I was climbing ladders, or admitting defeat, I still AM.  There is a part of me that remains pure and pristine no matter what it is I mire myself in.  It seems that what I do, is for my entertainment, because I feel moved to do this or that.  It feels good sometimes to do this and that.  It feels bad sometimes to do this or that.  But when the feelings of whatever it is I am or was engaged in fade, I remain just as whole as I was.  I still AM.

I go back to my memories of the Grand Canyon and take a slow and easy breath in and out. The water is not evil because it cut the walls of the canyon.  The colorful rocks that have withstood the years and seasons are not weak because they stood still.  No matter what the experience, they still ARE and yet they are beautifully transformed in a way by the experience but their essence and their power is not lost or made lesser by interaction with the elements.  When I see the rocks now, I feel gratitude and deep appreciation for their existence.  When I see the rain, water flowing – I feel grateful and a deep affinity for it’s existence.  When the wind blows it carries aspects of rock and water and I’m grateful as the air I breathe carries the pure power of transformation.  When I feel the heat of the sun, I am reminded of the gifts of transformation it too brings.  These things can harm and support me but I am made neither greater nor lesser for my experience of them.

You, in your lives, living day in and day out, working and achieving or learning and growing – you are made no greater or lesser as a result of your experience.  Even though you may be transformed willingly or unwillingly remember that there is an aspect of you that will remain pure and pristine as the day you were born.  Live, laugh, play and love.  Enjoy fully the richness of your experience here.  Appreciate your surroundings, check in now and then to see if you find value in what you are learning. Strive if you feel moved to – to understand all of your amazing and magical teachers in this life.  Everything matters. You too matter.  Never mind how life has shaped you, cut through you or changed you.  Your soul is still beautiful and filled with magic.  You still ARE.  Blessings of great love to you.

Copyright 2020, Jaie Hart (Photo NPS.org)

Beautiful Memories, Motherhood and Love

Being at home for so much of the last few weeks, I’ve had these stirrings of memories from days long gone by.  Not just a flashback of a picture but the whole thing of it, the feeling, the scents, the sounds, the quality of the light and even the physical feeling.  The moments of holding my babies in my arms snuggled up nice and warm after a bath and a bottle.  My heart is filled with these memories-feelings-pictures and moments.  As I see each of my children, fully grown now, I remember the moments before they were born and all the hope I held for them.  Then, after birth, I remembered the intensely overpowering love I felt for each of them as I held them close and took great care with them.  I remember each of the pains of their growing and that was so bitter sweet to me.  I remember with pride each of their milestones, their dark days and light days.  I remember their smiles each and every one. When I close my eyes, I can still hear their laughter - the laughter of discovery of simple things like gravity, the creative things like using my nail polish on to repaint hot wheels, Legos (especially found by my toes in the middle of the night), movies, creating art, dancing, singing and just listening to music, the love and play with animals, and pure joy with this and that and everything else under the sun. I remember the look of love in their eyes.  As I recall these sweet and precious memories and find that I’m over come yet again but in a different way now in this moment.

There were times as they were so very small, we struggled so much to get by. I shielded them from as much of some of the harsh realities of our existence as I was able and I kept them focused on what we could do.  I worked hard and  I did the best I could to give them all the things I never had.  I did my best to raise them with empathy, understanding and compassion. I tried to teach them about unconditional love.  I have to say that I’m just so completely proud of the people they have become on their own terms.  The youngest baby now is finishing high school and she too will be on her way into the world to make a difference in her own unique and amazing way.  I remember when I held each one of them close, wrapped safe and warm. I remember treasuring the moments and intentionally committing those moments to the memory of my heart.  I used to think of them as my babies.  But in reality, I love them too much to consider them just mine. I realize that they are not mine.  They never were.  They are the true loves and lights of the whole of my life - in the whole of my existence but each of them is their own person, being, and force to be reckoned with.  Each has his and her own great and special purpose in this world and to see them live it is a precious gift to me. I was just lucky enough to have each of them in my care and to hold each of them in my heart.

I’m so very grateful that I was given the honor to be their Mother, the opportunity to know them and to love them as well as watch them grow into amazing human beings. Parenting is hard work, so very hard but it is truly the most precious gift in the world.  Every time I see them, or even hear them speak, I’m instantly transported to many moments backwards in time.  I smile, fight back tears sometimes and take a breath -   a very long, slow and deliberate breath and I smile from the depths of my soul.  It’s such a strange time to be alive and I consider them among the bravest of beings for choosing to be here now at this time in this crazy, mixed up and beautiful world.  I pray that they always, always see pink clouds in a sunrise or sunset and remember the days we shared noticing the beauty, looking for the bright side, and capturing a moment in word, in photo, in hand drawn impression of a view, any view and  I hope that they one day - each of them - have many moments to feel all the love in the world I feel right now for each of them, always, still, and forever. 

Count your blessings every day and be grateful for every  moment that you have ever shared with those who mean the most in life to you.  Let them know, every day and in every way that you care, that you love them and want the very best for them, even when they change, grow and move away from you.  As a parent, you know that IS the goal, right?  I’ll tell you a secret, love does not just live in proximity.  Love lives period.  The more you love, the more you are filled with infinite gratitude for all that you love.  I wish you many beautiful blessings in these challenging times.  I wish you strength, health, abundance, love, laughter and great hope.  Don’t miss the next sunrise or sunset without holding pure gratitude for existence.  

For my children, I wish every joy, happiness, life lesson, and the feeling of overcoming challenge, adversity, tears and more.  They are strong and amazing. Hold onto the the good memories and consider the lessons of the more difficult ones and know that above all else you are loved so powerfully and so completely no matter what it is you do in this life!

Copyright 2020, Jaie Hart

The Real and Surreal of Life Just Now

 A year ago I left the State of California to make a new home and life in the beautiful state of Arizona.  We’ve been here almost a year now.  The living and dining rooms that once were crammed full of boxes from the floor to about 4-5 feet high, are finally cleared, furnished and decorated.  It’s the most peaceful part of my home.  Yesterday was such a beautiful day.  After getting required outings completed quickly, I sat for a time looking at the space and imagining how it looked a year ago.  I’m so pleased with the transformation and also so very grateful for the opportunity to be here, to own my home (or at least hold a reasonable mortgage to one) and find a measure of comfort and peace. My community now is smaller, we’re close to the very edge of town where it’s quiet and less chaotic.  I truly love it.

The heat of the desert here in Arizona takes some getting used to.  But this time of year is so beautiful.  It took me a year but we finally got screens on the windows and I took full advantage yesterday throwing the windows open wide to let in the most delicious warm breezes. I sat quietly and listened to the birds sing, children at play and the sounds of my part of the city absent the usual consistent drone and hum of air conditioning units. I’ve been out of the house only twice in the last two weeks.  It is a troubling time and getting necessities has been difficult.  But, when we can get a hold of those things that are missing, I completely reject every urge to stockpile.  We take just what we need so that there will be enough for all.  After four days of searching the internet, I actually found a place to order Toilette Paper from.  Sheesh!  But I still ordered only one 10 pack.  That will arrive about the time we run out.  I refuse to hoard and so every week that goes by, I pray there will be just what we need somewhere.

Grocery store shopping yesterday was better than the week before.  But it’s funny the things people are hoarding.  There was hardly any meat left in the stores, no rice, no pasta, barely any water, no snacks, ibuprophen gone, no Tylenol, no hydrogen peroxide, no laundry soap, no dish soap, and no cleaning supplies or paper products and we went to two stores.  I refuse to contribute to the problem.  I rearrange our meal plans to work with what we’ve got.  What else would we do?  We continue to support the local restaurants with orders several times a week because, again, what else would we do? We stay home unless absolutely required.

I’m fortunate that no one in my household is ill and I pray for all of those who have been exposed and those who have lost loved ones.  My heart aches for them.  I could swear one of my kids had this nasty virus back in January based on the symptoms and the duration.  But she made it through just fine and fortunately, the rest of us did not get it.  One in my household has a compromised immune system so every day, I pray.  With such a long duration of the incubation period, I think we still have another 7 days before we know if he was exposed.  After going out and about yesterday, I suppose we have another 14 days until we know if we were exposed.  Is this how we have to live now? I can't hold these kinds of thoughts for long. I have to learn to just be in the moment, accept what is.  Worry won't change this situation we all find ourselves in will it?

It’s quiet here now.  I’m sipping coffee in my beautiful home, cat purring beside me, birds singing joyfully outside.  It’s a cool Spring morning and I’ve opened the blinds to let the beautiful light in.  I don’t know what this day will hold but I pray it is quiet comfort and simple tasks.  Mundane and the ordinary are what I look forward to.  Peaceful activities, maybe some creative ones too will ease the back drop of anxious undertones for existence at the moment.  The world seems a bit surreal just now.  The things we're used too are different and we must strive to do our best to just be present, let go of the worry and just be here now.  In the now, it is less surreal, less worrisome, and holds this vast sense of just okay and you know what?  That’s not so bad considering the state of affairs.  Keep your chin up, take a breath, try to make a positive difference, check on your people, your neighbors and your friends.  Try to find ways to keep yourself up, going, and healthy.  Pray, meditate, and use this time to relax as much as you can.  I don’t know why at all honestly, but I still have this sense of everything is going to be alright.  Maybe not instantly, or even overnight, but this feeling is comforting and whether delusional or not, I’m going to try to hold onto it, breathe into it and do what I can to send that energy outward – calm, peaceful, healthy and okay!  Blessings to you all.

Copyright 2020 Jaie Hart (photos/words)

 

Solstice - Recounting - Intention and Flow

These days of celebration and ceremony, of tradition, hope and love are truly no insignificant things. They bring us something we need, something we’ve unconsciously wished for…a point in time of culmination of lessons learned and dreams to come.  We mark the year in celebratory fashion at different points with each bringing an opportunity to observe where we’ve been, what’s worked and what needs more refinement in our lives as we go.  If we take a breath and a quiet moment within the seeming chaos of activity, what things might we see?  I suppose that is up to each dreamer.  Every breath and step is a choice in terms of how we perceive it. It’s appreciating the experience for what it is, sometimes I think quietly to myself.

It was surprising for me to begin to witness that I was separate from my worries and thoughts each step of the way along the path that has been my life.  If I’d only known sooner, I sometimes think, I might have chosen better or at least from a more aware state of being. But, I have to warn you, once you become aware, there is no going back to sleep.  You begin to realize that arguments you seemingly continuously face is really just entertainment at some level and you choose it not due to challenge yourself or others but because there is something you are unconsciously striving to learn.  I don’t agree with wishing I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then, as the song goes.  I’m grateful for every gossamer strand of understanding I’ve gathered in my life.

Gratitude is one of the greatest keys to happiness, serenity, and peace I’ve ever known.  In tragic moments, gratitude has helped pull me through.  In moments of joy, gratitude has helped me to better savor the experience.  I find that I become more grateful as time goes by and often it is for the simpler things in my life.  Just now it’s chilly in my corner of the world that is usually beyond quite warm.  The opposites are fascinating not only in the weather but all things.  Like dark and light, the way they contrast and define, where they pull away and then meet…truly it is a fascinating display but more so when you are aware of their differences and the sameness they equally possess.

The solstice always marks a time for me to appreciate what I’ve learned and to begin to truly set my intent for the next year.  I strive always and ever to observe but not get overly caught up in anything…not feelings that aren’t facts, not the emotion of an absent minded or psychologically triggered moment, not the struggles or stress that comes with life.  When I take a deep breath and allow what is to be just as it is without needing to change a thing, I find a better stream of existence to flow within.  I battle resistance sometimes until I reawaken to fully understand the obstacle is the path.  When I meet it not to defend against but to embrace “it” whatever “it” is in a moment, it’s impact relaxes in response to my own surrender and the flow brings with it a greater understanding and awareness as well as appreciation.  I’ve come to trust that in my life from things of great significance to small.  Trust is a big word with far reaching impact in my world.  Greeting in warmly has been my saving grace along with gratitude.

Embrace the season’s celebrations and know that it can bring you more than you ever thought possible.  It may not bring you precisely what you wanted (or consciously thought you wanted) but it will bring you precisely what it is that you truly most needed.  When you begin to trust that life will bring you that, and completely surrender to it ready to flow knowing you can handle what ever manifests on your path, the season, your interactions and your life can be a more interesting set of experiences.  I pray the season brings you compassionate understanding, reawakening, joy, love and peace.  Happy Solstice, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year too.

 

© 2019, Jaie Hart (photo and words)

The Things People Do - An Opportunity for You in Disguise

Life can some times be a challenge, can’t it? People are sometimes vexing to the core and others ultimately self-less giving whatever they can to a moment.  It is hard to be compassionate sometimes.  It is hard not to get caught up in someone else’s wake of chaos and negativity. But, I must let you in on one of life’s many secrets, and while it may be really hard to grasp – it’s no less than true – you get caught up in it to the extent you have something really important to learn about yourself.

Its true what they say – that every person comes into your life for a reason…even that guy who just mercilessly cut you off on the highway.  The trick is trying to understand what that core-level urge within you that gets so angry and frustrated is really trying to tell you.  Some will say, “You have the right to get angry when one treats you so discourteously.”  Sure, why not.? We have many rights in this world.  But, at some point, you may become unhinged by everything that is happening around you – rude holiday shoppers, woefully unaware drivers and the throngs of thoughtless words spoken by folks unaware (or insidiously – fully aware) in a moment their words might hurt.

At the end of the day, you get to decide how you want to experience your days. Believe it or don’t, you have a choice in terms of how you want to experience a moment.  You can do it nutted up with anger and frustration or you can let go of the expectation that people will behave with common decency (remember – if decency where actually common – wouldn’t every one possess it)?  So, the world of humans and their interactions and behavior will, at times, be completely opposite to yours and what you think is right or wrong in a moment.  But, it’s that tiny little space within you that immediately spools up is just exactly the thing the encounter is intended to teach you about.

What is it about the interaction that really upset you?  Break it down. Are you tired?  Are you hungry? Are you frustrated?  Are you in a hurry?  Notice that not one of these questions focuses at all on what the other person did.  Do you want to know why?  Because you do not have the power to control anyone else that crosses your path but you do have the power to control you and your own reactions as well as behavior.  Do you need a nap?  Do you need a time out?  Do you need to chill out a second?  We’ve all done unthinking things at one time or another.  So, you can’t blame everyone for doing something without thinking about it.  To do so is missing a really great opportunity to take accountability by looking within.  Consider, is there a theme of certain kinds of behavior in others that always brings you from a simmer to a boil?  Why?  What exactly is it about that kind of behavior that gets to you?  Why do you let it get to you?  Is it worth continuing your life letting other people control your reaction in this way?  It is handing your power to other people.  Do you want to continue giving your power away?

Listen, it’s okay to get mad and frustrated.  But, but, but, before you act on that feeling, I promise you that it will always be a thousand times better to sit with it and fully experience it reflecting without doing a single thing about it than it would be to get angry or retaliate in some way.  I read a social media post not long ago about someone driving in their own lane, minding their own business when another car was coming into the lane without looking creating a potential wreck situation.  The driver already in the lane honked to let the other driver know they were there.  This person, who was acting carelessly then retaliated for being honked at and then sped up to get into the lane safely and then break-checked the driver who was in the lane several times.  This is the perfect example of twisted psychology in action.  The driver trying to merge in unsafely got honked at and likely felt bad with some level of self-frustration – so then, proceeded to get even with the other person for reminding them of their unsafe behavior.  Listen, these kinds of things can really escalate and needlessly so.  This retaliation game of escalating is really a waste of human energy.  There are lots of other choices that could have been made without wrecking the experience in that particular moment for everyone driving near either driver. The negativity impacted more than just the two drivers.

But, you see, there will always be unthinking people doing things dangerously.  Sometimes when you remind them, you become the object of their self-anger and you experience the retaliation for their poor choices.  But, you can disengage.  You can be with your own feelings without taking action that might escalate beyond anyone’s ability to save life or limb.  I don’t mean to take a passive approach – this isn’t about cowardice.  This is about the realization that acting in a moment when a psychological filter has seemingly unconsciously taken over might be a bad idea and getting peaceful with yourself before taking action.  Then, choosing a constructive approach to continuing whatever it is you were doing.  Of course, you can take on the mantel of savior of the world and brake-checking everyone else’s bad behavior but consider the outlay of energy necessary for that.  Is it really worth it?  Is that how you want to choose to behave?  Is there another way you can manage yourself? 

Sometimes we can’t get out of the way. Bad things will happen.  There isn’t anything that we can do to change the bad behavior of others.  Some people, believe it or not, are simply un-teachable and will continue the bull-in china shop approach to life.  When I encounter them, I pull back and disengage.  I don’t feel like becoming part of the wreckage (if that can be avoided by my choices).  So, well, to be honest, I get frustrated too.  Peopling is hard when you’re on the road, when you’re shopping, working or even at a family gathering.  I merely suggest there are alternatives in our choices.  You can get mad and fight back.  You can go toe-to-toe and match punch with punch.  It’s your life, do what you want.  But, if you don’t want to live your life in a continually triggered state, you’ve got to understand your triggers.  What about this experience or that experience triggers you?  Do you need a nap, a cookie, a counselor, a hug, a friend, a quiet chill out moment?  It’s up to you to take the opportunity or not.  Not is okay too if you’re okay with that.  Just know there are always alternative choices even when the emotions have been triggered.  You can choose not to react and pull yourself back until you figure out how you would most like to constructively respond.  It’s an option.  I’m not judging.  I’m just saying that there are many choices.

Look, there is a reason that it is said, “Patience is a virtue.” The experience of patience, compassion, and the ability to pause when you feel like reacting are very powerful moments to experience.  When you are in a space of accountability for self – understanding of others – patience for those less knowledgeable or aware as you – taking a breath – this is how you maintain your power instead of spilling energy out everywhere unthinkingly.  Did you know?  Well, now you do.  Again, you’ll get no judgment from me on your individual choices.  I really do understand.  We all have choices and every choice we make has a lesson for us.  But, certain life lessons will continue to repeat until we understand them.  Sometimes, until we understand the reason certain people and situations present themselves to us and frustrate or anger us, it can be a really painful set of experiences.  I wish you many moments of perfect pauses for quick contemplation that allow you to breathe, understand and respond to your experiences. I wish you much personal power and full realization of your life experiences.  I wish you an ever increasingly satisfactory set of human interactions.  Enjoy your life. Live.  Love. Understand.  Bless.

  © 2019, photo and words.

Random Thoughts on The Decade Passing

I sit in the cool and darkness becoming light. The sun slowly greets the day and me, here, mind empty and heart full. Not only does another year come to a close but the end of another decade does too. I don’t know where the time has gone.  It trickled away bit by bit while I was busy with other things.  Don’t get me wrong; the time I spent, I am most grateful for. My grandfather barely saw 54 years and my father never did.  Their time here was brief, so much so that I barely knew either of them. I send them my love wherever they are and hold nothing but gratitude for the blessings their existence brought me.

I have in my pocket, a seeming lifetime of good and hard life lessons learned in just this last decade and although I don’t care to repeat them (and pray I never do again), a part of me has come to terms.  A part of me is glad to be nothing else but simply present.  I’ve made so many changes in just the past 10 years.  I’ve come to a number of realizations.  They are by far too many to recite here and likely, they’d bore you to tears, but my life isn’t for anyone else’s entertainment but mine I suppose.

I used to think I knew where I was going and what I was doing as well as why but the funny plot twist in my life is that I never knew a thing.  Learning that now, is a very strange blessing.  I don’t know where I’m going and I do whatever it is that I am called to do without attempting the pre-determining of the outcome.  The results are more entertaining when it’s a surprise any way.  I’ve seen dreams shattered and brilliantly born in this past decade.  It’s been a joy, all of it.  But its strange to feel more self-assured not knowing what will happen.  It’s not as fearful when you truly know you can trust yourself to manage whatever it is that presents itself squarely upon your path to contend with.  If it is that and only that I have learned in this past decade, it was all well worth it.

The next decade holds just as much promise - of that I have no doubt.  So, I’ll slip into it gently, in full awareness of the past, pure enjoyment of the present and much hope and faith for the future, whatever it brings.  I’ve had seasons come and go, family and friends too.  It’s always a challenge to say goodbye but there is a strange comfort and peace in letting go and letting things and people be just as they are – even if far away.

When I look at the miniature world of this life I have created, I am content.  It isn’t perfect and I think that is the best part of it.  The beauty in the imperfection…it can sometimes seem magical.  To dare to be and do whatever it is your heart calls for is an amazing experience.  I say, pick up and move, go and explore, be a stranger in a strange land, be anonymous in the crowd, be one with the energy and stand in awe and wonder of every moment of every day.  Stand in the sunlight and feel the warmth.  Stand under a vast and depthless seeming sky and feel every single star and planet. Know the motion of it all is not only something you witness, but something you are a part of.

The ripples and waves we create in this life can be good ones if we can simply learn to relax and flow.  I don’t know.  It’s been a while since I have allowed myself to wax contemplative.  No reason behind that really, it’s just a side effect of staying ever-present.  Thinking really big thoughts is cool and all of that but it is entirely another thing all-together to just be so very present in a moment to truly appreciate all the moment has to offer you…the richness, the simplicity, the breath, the heart beating, the sensing and gently holding and then letting go.  It is a different sort of magic I guess and that is what the last decade brought me.  It brought me a deeper appreciation for all that is just exactly as it is while letting go of any thoughts depending upon some egotistical desire to change things or people. The now moment is a powerful thing. And it is right there for you, Now. How will you experience it?

I wish for you as this decade comes to a close, many realizations, the beautiful culmination of lessons learned, laughter, love, hope, courage and faith for the next one that comes to your door.  Breathe in; Breathe out.  You’ve got this and the Universe has got you!  Thank all that is good! 

 

© 2019, photo and words.