Beautiful Lesson Learned

Sometimes life can be so hard.  I went for a walk in the sun light to collect my thoughts and to feel my own feelings on a few things of late.  Although some things seemed to weigh so heavily upon me, I saw a simple rose bush on the path up ahead.  Even from a bit of a far off distance, I could see the red orange glow around them as they stood there perfectly drinking in delicious sun light.  The glowing really captivated and resonated with me.  Despite the heaviness I seemed to feel deep within my soul, I could see glowing.  I looked around and noticed everything was glowing…the birds, the leaves and the sounds I heard took on a sort of haunting and ethereal echo that was more than beautiful.  I tuned into my own soul and I felt that everything was resonating today.  A strange connected moment descended upon me days ago and I realized that although I’ve not paid all that much attention, it still hasn’t left me.  I smiled despite it all and kept on walking and noticing.

As I walked I covered emotional territory within my mind and heart.  Sometimes in life we come to a place where our own free will impinges upon the happiness (seemingly) of others.  It’s no easy place to find one’s self in.  So, what to do…do you stand in your own light and follow the dictates of your soul or do you sacrifice yourself for the happiness of another?  In some things and for brief moments, I can find merit in such thoughts and actions but in others, I can’t.  The reason I can’t is that I know where such paths lead having traveled down them time and time again in my years this time, here on Earth.  So, I wander through my memories to a story I once read about in a book by none other than the amazing Don Miguel Ruiz titled The Mastery of Love.  In one part of the story (and I’m summarizing greatly), a man took all of his happiness in the world and gave it to the woman he loved.  When he placed it in her hands, she could not hold it and his happiness shattered.  The moral of the story was not to place your happiness in another’s hands.  We forget about this as we move through our human interactions and its hard so very hard for us all when we move through these roles with various players in our dream.  It’s all important with every word and scene leaving indelible imprints upon our hearts and souls and the lessons so hard to grasp sometimes.

I think for me that the only thing I am capable of doing is standing in my own light and being accountable for my own steps, my own love and my own happiness and others, well, they may chose the same or otherwise and I cannot take issue with that.  Free will is just that and it is never up to us to influence or impose upon the free will of others.  We must learn to live and let live and to let people be just exactly who they are.  We can choose to participate in what we wish to and we can choose to stop participating in those scenes of the dream we no longer wish to.  There need not be judgment but there almost always is.  That’s where a true and undeterred sense of self comes in very handy.  We engage sometimes, if even unwittingly, in inappropriate emotional warfare where the heart is involved.  Human emotion makes us do so many things.  But be that as it may, we each must walk our paths as we see fit and find a measure of compassion and understanding for the things we experience in this life even if we don’t want to.  We cannot control all of the world around us nor can we engage in any form of manipulation or control of her inhabitants…well, except for one…ourselves.

I am never happy when I know that executing my free will impinges upon the happiness of another.  However, I do know that I have the right in my life to take those actions concerning me that I see most fitting for me.  I trust myself and my intent enough to know that I never purposely set out to hurt anyone for any reason.  I can be judged, hated and despised for acting in accord with the dictates of my soul and as much as it may pain me, I still have to stand in my own light.  I will always do so for my own reasons and I never wish anyone any harm.  I guess I fall back on intent.  Was my intent to harm?  If no, I can be okay with my decisions.  If my intent was to harm, it means I have much homework to do in this life.  Either way, I will always apologize where my decisions and behaviors have hurt another and have done so every step of the way in my life.  I can do nothing more.  I fight so hard to heal pain and so, when I create it – it is not an easy thing for me. 

 I wonder how often it is that we have these soul contracts in order that we come together with our lessons and dreams and then maybe experience things we find most difficult on purpose.  When the soul contracts are fulfilled for good or ill, we move on and seek to try to understand the message and hopefully not create harm for the messengers.  I now see the messengers in my life in a whole new light and realize I must appreciate their execution of free will even though it hurt me.  I now understand and fully forgive.  I see now the truth of things, events and people in life who taught me the hardest lessons my heart has ever known.  The understanding is it – the energy of release – the glow.  When our thoughts align more with our true authentic selves we are rewarded in subtle ways that one may often over look.  But, if we stop and pay attention—feel the thoughts in our minds and where they resonate within our bodies, we can discern the truth about ourselves and every person we’ve ever come into contact with.  

I stand here tired, emotional and yet at the same time, I stand here in awe of the magic of this world, this life and all of its lessons.  We come for the experiences that we do create and so beautifully.  We are all script writers, casting directors, set creators and executive producers of this dream we call life.  Source, be with me am I so incredibly grateful today.  So many battles have taken their tolls upon me but none more so than battling my own self-doubt, fear and pain.  I look around once more at this light, the flowers glowing and hear the birds singing deep within my soul.  I wish to commit this moment to my soul forever—a tough but beautiful lesson learned.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Connected Moment

There are just those times in life that you command the ability to tune in very clearly to your own soul.  Most of the time we are unaware and don’t care to think of such things but sometimes it can be as important as breathing air.  Sometimes that “tuning in to the authentic self” can be quite revealing and show you things that you just couldn’t see.  Things and plans and even people can change in terms of how you perceive them and so can your own actions.  At times the things that seem most important turn out to be the tools for learning and when the lesson is learned, there comes a time for solitude, separation and quiet time for the sole (soul) purpose of pure and unadulterated contemplation.  I’ve run across such times periodically throughout my life and find myself in such a situation now.

There are things I thought I wanted and then once I achieved them, an empty aching took over my soul.  I paid attention to those inner feelings and I was lead to greater understanding of some things, at least in terms of me, my own life and my own purpose.  I am a gentle and very sensitive soul and sometimes find that I tune out way too many things that I really should be paying greater attention to.  But, I just didn’t know what was happening in my own being.  I know now but that doesn’t help much in terms of the things I had previously created and because of those creations pain has ensued.  It’s not a bad thing, pain underscores our lessons sometimes in order that we might really remember them.  It’s okay in the end even when it truly doesn’t feel okay.  Time and patience, more gentleness and understanding will bring the lesson home.  Sometimes that means letting some things go that might stand in the way of true understanding such as limited thoughts and beating one’s self up for not seeing things.

I stand quietly in morning’s first light giving thanks to the All of Everything – the Source, the impetus of thought that created me into being in this hologram and framework called life.  I am nothing more than a thought experiencing its own reality for the sheer purpose of the experience itself.  The colors, the images and the emotion all have purpose regardless of which form they take in terms of manifestation in my awareness.  But, I can dream and have learned that I can create within this dream.  Nothing is lost and everything matters even still if actions desire consequences.  Sometimes things are as they are so other things can come to be as they were meant to be.  Soul searching I gaze up at patchy clouds letting in a blue and pink tinged sky.  The sun makes her seeming ascent (it’s really only the world turning) and I stand here feeling the dichotomy of very small and insignificant along with incredibly vast and very powerful.  It’s interesting to feel both at once but everything has purpose – every inkling in our souls, every tinge of sensation in our bodies and every thought in our minds.

I breathe in the cool morning air and feel a solemn sensation – a seriousness of life but when I dig a little deeper, I scratch the surface of bliss for the beautiful energies in this life I have experienced.  Bliss, a connected moment yet again – I find I am feeling beyond all measure of gratitude for every soul, every word and every experience in all of my lives and not just this one.  The ones to come, I’ve had a sense of as well.   An interesting sensation and visuals, I must say.  But, enough of such thoughts for now.  I would really enjoy another cup of creamer with a little coffee in it (smiles) and I need to get a lot of things done today to find time to play.  I’ve got two little girls much in need of a picnic in the park and I so wish more than anything to give them the most joyful visit they’ve had so far.  It will be beautiful and I can’t wait.  I embrace this day.  I embrace every action I have ever taken.  I embrace every thought that has ever crossed my mind.  I embrace every emotion I have ever called into existence for me.  I am truly blessed.

Thoughts on Dreams

Bliss

Last night in meditation, I was breathing in the peace of the hum of this universe when all of a sudden this beautiful cobalt blue and purple light appeared in my mind’s eye.  In that moment I felt this gentle warmth wrap itself around me.  This beautiful light began speaking in feeling and all at once I knew the most perfect love in existence.  Within the light of that love I could feel every single beating heart on this planet, the perfection and magic of existence.  In that moment, bliss wove beautiful tendrils of light into every single perception and I began to see things in a new light.  Those moments of bliss are the impetus for change and creation in our world.  In those moments of bliss that we find in our lives, we can engage the Source energy that thought us into being and then we can think so many other creations into existence.  It is part of what we have come here to learn to do and to master.  Find your love and light within and never cease in your efforts to find it and find it often.  You will succeed if you believe you will.  Find your love.  Find your light.  Breathe in the perfect bliss of this universe and create your every dream through the beauty of the true purpose of mind rather than the detrimental and challenging aspect of ego.  It can be done.  It will be done.  So be it.   ~Blessings

Expansion

Expansion

Swaying in the dark to the sounds of the stars

Each one a brilliant diamond shining while beautifully hung
On  blanket of contrasting night
Feeling the peace
Relishing the pure and unadulterated silence
Cherishing this moment of life
I reach out beyond visible stars
And feel the All of Everything
Every breath and every step
It’s there pulsing as a backdrop
A silent hum that knits this universe together
We’re always spinning and turning
Changing and growing, aging and fighting
Just to understand our place in this world
We won’t reach that understanding
By becoming mired in the superficiality of existence
Or what we think exists on the surface of everything
We get lost in people, situations and dreams sometimes
Trudging through the wounds our shinning souls have assumed
Thinking all the while it is the outside world that defines us
But it’s us who defines our worlds
Each of us is a tiny replication of the universe
We each are like planets revolving around our own suns
And deep within us the scheme replicates
Right down to the microscopic level
We don’t think much about the things we can’t see or touch
But we can always feel and truthfully, we can always touch
Maybe just not in the way we have been taught
The limits we throw on like a favorite coat to keep us warm
We just don’t give much thought to at all
But if we did and often, imagine what we might learn
About our own existence in the scheme of this construct
Wonder unimaginable would overtake us in the span of a heart beat
Back to my own motion
Now moving in tune with the sounds within my own soul
I stand under these stars and I know
I know that existence holds more for me
Than my limited thoughts allow most of the time
I challenge myself always to find the love in things
I challenge myself always to return to the love inside
And there I find something just as beautiful as this sky filled with stars
The warmth of the sun from the love inside
Its there, always burning brightly even when I can’t see

(c) Jaie Hart (photo copyright as noted on photo-not mine)

Change Your Focus

We get so lost sometimes focusing on the world of people around us that we forget the world inside of us.   There are treasures unimaginably great within if one would simply find the courage to stop all the analyzing, criticizing and judging and just go within.  I catch myself in judgment sometimes and I don’t like it when that happens so I realize whenever judgment lurks in my thoughts, I am actually being too fearful of my own soul to go deep within and find the wound I am protecting with my judgment of others.  It is no easy shift dear souls but if you can find some measure of strength, will or stamina to endure the quest, you will find it a most worthy endeavor.

You see, when you get to the truth, the heart of the matter and you find what is really at your core, no string of events in the past can tear you apart by someone come to assist with the exorcism of wounds within.  It’s a stretch and a difficult one at that but as I said, give it a try.  You won’t waste as much energy as you do when engaged in egotistical battles intended only to divert you from the truth.  I mean, think about it – do you really want to remain victim forever reacting to the labels and guilt trips people lay upon you or would you rather uncover the truth enough about you so that you could stand in your own light when the exorcists come.  Oh, and believe me, they will come.  Each will have a new face but they will attempt to expose your wounds for one reason and one reason only…to get you to find the core, the true source (you) and begin to heal when you find also within, your own love and light.

Never give up and never let the outside world or even those who love you paint a picture of you that you swallow as wholehearted truth.  They don’t know who you really are – they only know their experience of you.  No one truly defines you or your actions but you and your thoughts.  Your thoughts decide whether you will give labels born of fear credence or brush them off as a simple opinion based on one perspective of an aspect of you.  Be fearless and be strong.  You can find what makes you weak and in so doing, you’ll find your strength.  Blessings of highest love and light dear ones! 

(c) Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)