Emotional Pain Never Heals

Certain experiences of anxiety, fear or pain in a present moment scenario can sometimes seem to strum the chords of prior episodes of anxiety, fear or pain. This may cause many other similar past experiences to rise to the surface of your consciousness, making one simple episode seem like a bonfire.  It's like discovering you whacked your knee on something and a bruise followed but you didn't realize you had it or had completely forgotten about it.  Then you either hit it again or otherwise touch it and the pain returns to be felt yet again.  It makes me wonder if emotional pain ever really heals.  We suffer anxiety, fear or pain for a multitude of reasons, but that's not the point of this blog.  Stick with me for just a moment as I strive to develop this point. 

As we go through our lives and experience various events, we assign anxious, fearful or painful thoughts.  At some level, it is almost as if these things are written into the archives of your psyche.  As you move away from those moments where you have experienced such events, you start to forget about the negative aspects of your experiences.  But then, suddenly, something similar comes up and the unconscious mind reaches through all of its archived records to find similar experiences from which to judge or assess the current experience.  In so doing, the thoughts will strum the chords of other painful experiences and seemingly set them loose, leaving you feeling emotionally raw and out of proportion with the current experience.

So, I cannot help but wonder about this:  Emotional pain never heals. Our anxieties stem from fear, and this fear stems from the thought of pain.  This is not the first time I've considered this line of thinking.  A superficial wound will heal but the memories of it won't necessarily leave us.  I wonder, when thinking of these emotional wounds - the anxiety, fear and pain, if we will not heal until we begin to better understand our thoughts.  It seems that until you fully understand the extent of a situation that leads to thoughts of anxiety, fear and pain, you won't heal them but rather nullify their existence.  Take the simple knowledge gained from not taking things personally as an example.  We've begun to truly learn and understand that most people who express themselves in mean and insulting ways are not really telling you anything about you, but rather are telling us about themselves.  When you think about it, we once felt the pain of these attacks, and those wounds gathered and collected throughout our whole lives.  Finally, we come to understand that some people are mean just because of their own battle scars, and this has nothing to do with us at all. The pain that was written, inscribed deeply within our psyches, becomes unwritten through understanding.

We transform our suffering through understanding it's purpose.  Oh, I know, it is a huge leap to understand that some emotional challenges have a purpose.  This is especially true when certain experiences seem by their very design to serve no purpose other than our emotional destruction.  But wait, if you go on with that thought, you spill your power out in blame and fear, and there is no healing or resolution to be had.  There is only the continuous collection of more anxiety, fear and pain.  Through seeking greater understanding, you begin to truly know that life is not designed to emotionally destroy you. Essentially, you need to step back and see a much broader framework from a greater and higher perspective of love, compassion and understanding. When you can accomplish this, ultimately, the pain is transformed and simply disappears.  There is nothing then to heal because you have begun to fully realize the illusion of suffering.  I'm not saying anxiety, fear and pain are not real when your thoughts are embroiled in the entertaining of these things.  I'm saying that if you can shift your perspective for long enough, stand in your own power and take responsibility for your play, your actors, your sets, your behaviors and your action through striving for greater understanding, you nullify the effects of pain, it seems.

I'm toying with these ideas not to blame the victims or rub salt in anyone's wounds.  I'm writing from my own experiences of having those chords of pain strummed so that they rise to the surface to the point I am raw, in an active state of pain and striving to understand it.  I do not fear pain.  I see all three of these topics as very closely aligned. No matter which aspect we embrace, each time one of these things crop up we are being given an opportunity to better understand.  If I step back from the shadows of victim-hood and blame, and stand squarely in the light owning my emotions, my thoughts and the illusions of my own perceptions, I'm free. 

These are tough thoughts to translate beautiful dreamers and I so hope in some way I'm getting through.  I may have to take another shot or two at articulating these thoughts to help them crystallize more concretely from the pureness of feeling within to the simple language we typically use to converse.  So much meaning is lost when you have a feeling and yet try to define it with limited words.  You'll understand when you get there, this much I know.  But I have this silly thought that if I can articulate what is rising, it may serve as a light for someone else who wandered ever long in the darkness as I did.   As I'm writing I'm thinking, questioning and testing.  I'm on an amazing and wonderful journey of understanding in this life and am delighted by each discovery whether it hurts, perplexes or confounds me.  I know I'll understand because there is a knowing inside encouraging me to seek the meaning to find the freedom.  I have nothing left that needs healing.  What I have is a lifetime of experiences to better understand the truth that is buried beneath the lies of unchallenged perception.  I'm talking myself in circles now, so we will end this bout of mental meandering and leave it for you to take it or not. ~Blessings of infinite love, light, compassion and most of all, a full depth of understanding to set you free.

© 2013 Jaie Hart (Photo, random internet find)

Special thanks Liam for your understanding, love, support and most excellent help with making sense of this download with me.

Transformation

There are those souls who exist in this world who are wholly incapable of love.  There are as many reasons for this as there are stars in a vast night sky.  As if that were not a fact tragic enough in and of itself, those same souls can create so much pain and so many scars in others.  Some souls can come thought this life and transform the negativity of interactions or influence of unloving souls into greater understanding of life's illusions and the nature of  human suffering.  There are also some who instead of healing hold that pain inside and perpetuate it setting off endless chains of negativity throughout time.

I'm one of the lucky ones.  In all honesty, I truly believe it is by the sheer grace of my Creator alone that I have been given the ability to transform.  I could tell tales of tragedy here sufficiently to support my claim but to do so I would have to suffer again the details in the retelling of my tales of woe.  And, so, I leave my past behind me and although I carry still the scars, some of which will always be tender, I heal myself greatly in the knowing that those at whose hands I most definitely did suffer, were lost souls so cut off from their own love that they could do nothing else but teach me through pain that I am not their reflection of me.  The outside world does not define my love, hold my power or dictate the truth of any aspect of my being.  No matter what dark passageways I have painfully traversed, I am as I was created to be...Hopeful, loving, compassionate and also very understanding.

My heart is filled with the love I learned to see and feel on my own and through blessed and loving souls strategically placed upon my path.  They pointed the way to the light for me and even when I could not see, a shred of courage from deep within kept me walking until I could find it.  As much of a stretch as it may seem, so too, can you.  Find the heart of your own soul and give it all the love you most wanted and needed in your life.  If you don't know how, ask for directions and you'll find the signs that lead you home.  When you stand upon the threshold you will begin to see that there was nothing ever wrong with you that you should suffer at the hands of love or lack thereof.  You may learn that what you have experienced had nothing to do with you at all.  You may have suffered at the hands of lost souls but this suffering does not have to define you.  Instead try a shift in thinking that the pain you suffered really showed you who you are not.  You are not pain, even if you feel it.  You are not harsh words, even if you have heard them.  You are not neglect, darkness and a victim, even if you have suffered at the hands of those who would make you unwittingly that.

Realize that you are a bright and beautiful soul.  Through seeing your own light, stopping the illusions the loveless hold and tried to leave you with and knowing that deep within your core - the heart of your soul is a beautiful light that burns so brightly, you can transform your knowing and expand your experiences in ways that will heal and support you.  It is a long journey sometimes, a painful journey sometimes but when you find the pain and refuse to hold it, it cannot hurt you any more.

With every breath and step I take, I wish you love, I wish you joy and I wish you great healing always.


(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate internet find)

Illusion and Separation

The illusion of separation is one among many we hold in this frame here on Earth.  We are never separated from Source, God, Goddess or which ever reference you may choose to use.  I think that we are thoughts from Source, given the divine power to create as we move forward from the moment of our own creation but we never loose that point at which we were created and the moment we realize we were never not connected to Source, the love within wells up from the depths and life takes on new light and new meaning...and then we learn to create similarly to the ways in which Source created us. 

There are other illusions, such as seeing others as separate from you, seeing yourself better than others or worse than others.  Even more prevalent, the attack presented or the attacks we unwittingly engage in.   Did you know that we create the magnetic energy within us that calls to those with those characteristics that will psychologically trigger us?  In a way, we create them for the sole purpose of learning.  Why?  Because until we awaken, we unwittingly learn the wrong things that equate to misguiding us wholly into beliefs until we have proper understanding.  Then a belief is no longer a belief, it becomes an experience.  We wish to call those challenging people to us because we truly wish to heal the wounds inside of us that we misunderstood...the things we took on as truth but are not true at all.  Once we gain the courage and compassion to dive in, look and understand - we begin to see and when we finally see, bliss shortly ensues.  Every one who triggers us in some way is a messenger.

Life has many messengers.  For as much as your energy attracts to you magnetically those who will trigger you, your energy will also attract to you those of like mind and belief who will support you.  They support you in their sharing and learning and they give love so freely and you naturally give back because nothing feels more right.  The funny thing is that all of these souls, the ones we attract for seemingly negative reasons and the ones we attract for positive reasons - they are all us and they all - also are an extension of Source.  Treat every single person you meet as if he or she is God or Goddess incarnate, seeing through the masquerade and you might learn some very interesting things in life.  You do have free will though and you do not have to learn or transcend anything.  If your actions produce outcomes you appreciate greatly, continue them.  If your actions produce outcomes you do not appreciate, change them.  You are so powerful and can create in this life by understanding what creation means.  The Hermetic Principals teach of cause and effect, polarity, gender in everything, everything always in motion, as above - so below and more.  Great tools of understanding there about this framework within which we do work.  A Course in Miracles helps to teach us that all we see is an illusion - the attack is unreal - the enemy before you is no less than an extension of God...as are you.  Buddhism teaches that our desire brings us suffering and that compassion and detachment can bring you serenity.  There are so many different paths in this world (and please don't take the short aspects from these paths I have noted as the whole - they certainly are not and I selected aspects only to make a point) that can lead you to understanding and can beg of you to trade your "beliefs" for experience.

I'd rather not hold beliefs because beliefs are like an untried scientific postulation or theory.  A belief is not real.  Experience is more real but even that is subject to our judgment and psychological filters.  I suggest that we keep a very open mind as the layers of our understanding are peeled away bringing us ever closer to definitive truth and moving us ever farther away from our perceptions, assumptions and provisional truths.  Life is important and every single thing you do, say and consider matters.  You matter.  You are a child of this universe, no greater nor lesser than all the other beautiful children of light in this universe.  I pray you feel the love of compassion and the wisdom of understanding all of the days of your lives.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (photo, random and beautiful creation from the internet)