Friday, March 22, 2013

Feeling the Notes

I greeted the sun by snapping pictures early this morning.  I don't know why but it suddenly struck me as so beautiful that I could just cry.  Perhaps it is not the thing itself or the beauty and utility it offers us day in and day out as much as it is the impetus behind it and everything else in creation that strikes such a deep chord within me.  I dropped my youngest daughter off at school and drove into the sun again.  Just then, my favorite song played on the radio.  It's a song I have dearly loved since first I heard it sometime in 1970 something.  The world was a mystery to me then and while many mysteries still exist in my consciousness, the world has transformed enormously in my perspective from then until now.  I really felt every single note of that very short song and it really set the tone for a peaceful easy day, for the most part anyway.

I found tiny moments throughout the day to steal away outside for some time alone, away from the fluorescent lights and manufactured air and traded it for the real thing.  I noticed my normal quick pace had been traded without thought for a slow and appreciative one in which I felt every nuance of every step I place on beautiful planet Earth.  Most days I am so very grateful to be here, to see the world in the way that I see it and to experience life in every breath.  It was a perfectly temperate sunny day in California today and a cool sea breeze kept the mood light and airy.  I remembered waking up feeling as if I were floating and I was smiling before I even opened my eyes.  I've not slept much in a week and today it just didn't matter any more.  The world will spin on her axis perfectly no matter whether I've seen some extra hours on a digital clock or not and so, there was just no use worrying about it.

Frenetically peaceful usually defines me but not so much so today.  There was nothing frenetic about my disposition today.  The ups and downs of the day I noticed and I seemed to feel everything in a different manner.  A silly report frustrated me today and I felt it.  Too many things piled up on me and I felt it. Not enough day left at the end of the hours and I felt it.  I felt these things but they seemed so distant that the feelings just didn't register as deeply as normally they would.  I wondered about that.  How is it that I'm feeling everything instantly moving from moment to moment and yet nothing registers in such a way to truly disturb my peace?  I don't understand it really but I am grateful.  I think spending so much time in meditation for the last 3 years has really started to grant me some important and unanticipated benefits.  I've come to treasure peace more than anything in the world in the last year in particular.  I become stressed as much as the next person but with one difference.  I know that stress is not a thing unto itself but my own conscious choice to resist my present experiences just underneath the freeway of speeding thoughts that used to make me miss such decisions.  When I find myself stressed these days, I relax knowing I am resisting what is and I know the futility of such a choice.

Truly, I've learned these past 3 years that what is just is, what will be, will simply be and there is no amount of my resistance that will bring me one single ounce of peace.  So, accept, pause, breathe, let go and move on is the formula I continually strive to master.  Its working so I won't mess with a good thing.  My mind wishes to wander into some very deep thoughts this evening and so, I shall cut my mental meanderings a bit short for the least in type-written words.  I'm off for walk beneath the stars, where the cool night air will refresh my inner vision and the whole of my being.  The stars, the dark sky and the silence seem to speak in volumes more than I could ever possibly articulate and it is that which I truly desire in this moment. ~Blessings to you all in all that you do.  May you find peace amongst the chaos, a smile even when the tears seem to want to fall and hope even when there seems to be absolutely no reason to hope at all.  There is love in this world and the proof of that is you.

And to end this post, a mentioned favorite to share....

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo and words, song below is from Chicago and I do not own the rights to the video).

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