Sunday, March 24, 2013

Empowering vs. Victimizing Thoughts

One can never be made better by envy or in the act of a negative judgment of another.  Does misery really need company?  Misery does nothing all by itself except give one a very limited perspective from which to view the world.  

It may seem that others get what you feel you deserve sometimes but realize that such feelings are really no representation of the truth.  If you dig deep within you may discover that what it is you truly want is not the thing that someone else receives and gains recognition for.  Perhaps it is just that you wish to receive recognition yourself...congratulations for a job well-done.   

I think in terms of my own example of something I'd really like to have but I just cannot seem to make happen no matter how much I make or how fantastic my credit rating is.   I drive by beautiful homes in suburbia.  These are not extravagant homes by any stretch of the imagination.  I make great money and yet, I cannot afford to buy one of those homes and have at times I have felt frustrated by wishing I could have what others have and yet don’t.  Why can I not have this one simple thing? 

Well, there could be good reason.  How about that for most of my life I have chosen to have kids and raise them (not an inexpensive endeavor).  I have also chosen to give them the things I didn’t have as a child.  My children have nice clothes and are well cared for and we always have money to do little things here and there that make us smile.  What would the house really give me that I do not already have?  Where ever it is I and my children are is home.  

 I have learned that the feeling of home is deep within the heart of me and perhaps that is my lesson for this life, to learn that home is not a thing that costs a lot of money so you can call it yours.  Perhaps my lesson is not to be a home owner at this point in this life.  Maybe my lesson is to not become so entangled financially in that way just now.  Being a single mother with even an excellent income does not allow home ownership in the area that we love here in California.  So, would a home make me happier?  Maybe but what if it doesn’t?  What if I buy the home and my job disappears?  I could “what if” myself into oblivion but that’s not really the point.

What I find I cannot do is exist in a state of envy because another’s path seems better than mine. I cannot belittle myself by choosing the thoughts that others have what it is I deserve and yet I don't  -  poor me.  Not on your life!  I chose my path.  If wanted another, I would be on it but I am not and I have faith and trust enough in this grand design to know that I chose my path as it is and it’s perfect.  I realize that I cannot judge success in this world by home or car ownership.  I cannot judge success personally by whether my children are good or bad people.  I cannot judge success by the good job that I have because if it is gone, does that suddenly render me a failure in life?  No.   

A less comfortable individual would that make me for certain but I know me and have come to depend much on my ability to be resourceful and to make good choices even when others think they may be crazy.  So, why do we as a society judge personal success by comparison to those who have succumbed to very effective marketing campaigns that were designed to get at the weaknesses in our own egos?  We want love and recognition, I think.  

Honestly, I think I’d prefer love over recognition any day but we seem to want to do things just for reward and affirmation.  I understand it but I think it breeds discontentment which may not be in line with our soul’s highest growth or, well, maybe it is. Pain can be a very good teacher if you seek to understand the reason pain exists.  Many don't.  They just go with the feeling of small, inadequate and ignored.  Perceptions - all - but not necessarily truth.

Learning to be content where you are, realizing you are where you are due to your own choices and no others is an incredibly enlightening experience.  I prefer in life not to allow victimizing thoughts into my own head because that means I have given all of my power away to people and circumstances outside of myself.  I do not wish to give my power away and so I realize that I must own the consequences of each of my actions and choices.  I can be the best person on this Earth and yet stupidly choose to walk down a dark and dangerous alley way.  If something horrible should befall me, is it the fault of the universe or is it just the consequences of my own choices or actions?   

Does it frustrate us when others can make a similar seeming choice to our own and seem to have a different or much better outcome?  Sure but really, we cannot see the whole of another’s life as we can see ours.  So, if you find yourself in a place of discontentment in life solely because you think others have more than you or have what you deserve, stop all thoughts right there for just a moment.  Consider where you are and how specifically, you got there.  Are there different choices you can make that may bring you what you truly desire?  Are there different attitudes you can embrace that might lead you to make better choices or have more reasonable desires?   

There really are no right or wrong answers.  Its really a matter of whether we are entertaining thoughts that remove all possibility of success or if we are embracing thoughts that fully support the creation of opportunity through taking accountability, making better choices and engaging in better decision making towards certain ends.  Maybe it is our thoughts on what success is that is really off?  Just some food for thought.  ~Blessings of higher love, wisdom and understanding. 

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo above, random internet find)

And a song to share, just because I really like it....Dishwalla, Home:

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