A friend got me to thinking about a topic I
thought I might write about. I’m writing
about it in the hopes it might assist those dealing with memories that are
unpleasant. Certain happenings in our
lives will create emotion and attach to a certain frame of a prior scene in our
lives. For whatever the reason, that
frame may replay over and over again in our heads and often bring back the
original emotion from the initial occurrence.
These can be brutally difficult to deal with and if surfacing memories
bring back all of the emotion of some initial trauma, first and foremost, I
recommend that you seek outside assistance via a counselor or even your medical
doctor. They can get you the help you
need in some of the more severe episodes and this article is by no means
intended to be used instead of the proper clinical treatment protocols. Having said all of that, I liken difficult
memories to aftershocks. The original
6.0 occurred at some point in time and it left its mark within your being. The memories of the original event are the 1,
2 and 3.0 aftershocks that surface from time to time and then eventually
dissipate. A psychologist or psychiatrist
can explain the reasons for this based on their clinical training and
study. I am not one so cannot speak
clinically. I speak from my own
experience for whatever it may be worth.
I have encountered events in my life at times that left me
with post-traumatic event syndrome. This
is not as severe as PTSD by any stretch but rather a much
lesser version that occurred from a shocking single event or a
collective of shocking events in a short period of time that resulted in
hypervigilance, insomnia, high-anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, replay of
the shocking scenes over and over again and periodic memories of the original
traumatic events taking too much focus in my consciousness to the point of continual distraction. At
first, these were quite disturbing to me and I became upset when the memories
surfaced. I armed myself with knowledge,
the services of a trained clinician and gave myself lots of time and patience
to heal. Although my traumatic and
shocking events are long over with, occasionally a memory will surface. When these happened initially, I was worried
that something was wrong which added unnecessary anxiety an fear to what I was
experiencing. Becoming worried was
actually adding more fear to the pain and that just wasn’t working for me. Over time, I learned to process the
occurrences and why they were so shocking to me. I eventually learned that time will heal all
wounds and having a memory surface does not undo all the healing work I have
done. I have learned that the memories
just sometimes surface and I began to train my mind to see them not as more
trauma to deal with but an opportunity to accept that surfacing emotions and memories are
actually a sign that I was progressing with my healing. I would imagine that the fact that these
things are surfacing within my consciousness rather than remaining buried was a
good sign, a sign I was healing and I would imagine every time an unpleasant
memory surfaced a beautiful pink light being taken into the tender place that
memory surfaced from to bring it even more healing. I realized that I could witness and observe
the memory surfacing without attaching emotion to it. Yes, there were unpleasant things that
happened but I am not those things, those things were not my fault and there is nothing wrong with me that made them happen and despite
them, I learned to grow and heal.
My spiritual training has taught me that I choose to attach
emotion to things and I choose to attach emotion to things when I do not understand
the whole picture. For my events, I have
long understood the reasons for their occurrence (including my reaction which
was quite normal and reasonable) and it removed from me the pain and fear of those
events. I have forgiven the people involved
even if my mind sometimes will not fully forget and not forgetting is actually
okay. I do not dwell with worry over
unpleasant memories or traumatic ones.
Those events do not define me nor do they bring anything at all to me
other than a reminder of a very challenging situation I experienced for a
reason and transcended with love, patience, self-acceptance and
understanding. I choose no longer to
attach emotion to prior memories. I try
to witness them all whether positive or negative as just a string of
events. I can choose to attach emotion
to them when I wish to but most often I don’t.
Attaching emotion to memories requires that some part of me live in the
past, at least in my own mind, and I much prefer to be very present in this now
moment. In this moment, I am free from
the way I grew up, I am free from all of my challenges of the past, I am free
from self or external judgment, I can just exist, be and love as I choose. I am at peace and gratefully so in the
present moment. Through compassion for
self and others, forgiveness of self and others and patience with myself primarily,
I have moved past the traumatic memories of a long-ago string of events (oh and cannot forget the amazing assistance of a very trusted clinician). They are my past, a part of my history or
story but they are not me and I need not hold them with any significance right
here right now even if my memories should decide seemingly of their own
volition to challenge my perspective on this.
Life is hard sometimes and we unwittingly make it harder all the time
with our assumptions and emotions. But,
we can go into our deep thinking states with love in our hearts and the intent
to understand and free ourselves from the heavier and unpleasant emotions from
the past. We can forgive and we can move
on knowing that the spirit and soul is energy and, therefore, not harmed by
physical occurrences we have experienced in this life. Relax into the seat of the soul as much as
you can and just notice your thoughts or memories from time to time. If you’d like to know more about these
concepts, I highly recommend a couple of wonderful authors – Gary Zukav (The Seat of the Soul), Byron
Katie (I Need Your Love. Is That True?) and Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now). When I read
some of the concepts in their books, they became a launching pad into
transforming the knowledge base of understanding and creating from there my own
practical application that worked for me personally. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to many
authors but these three resonated with me the most when I was working on
healing and gave me the most valuable pieces of information. We are not our thoughts. We are not the ones thinking our thoughts…the
true consciousness of us is the observer within the soul and not the mini me
egotistical mind. WE are bigger than the
ego and understanding how the ego can become trapped in pain and wounds is so
helpful. Freeing yourself from the
illusions long enough will help you uncover the truth. Again, let me state though – do not hesitate
to seek the assistance of a trained clinician.
They can help bring you great healing provided you are willing to do the
work to heal and transcend the experiences that have brought you disharmony. If you are not willing and open to doing the work, you will have created an untenable emotional prison to try to exist in. Please do not remain in such a state. You deserve so much more than that dear ones. In love and light, I pray you all find great
healing for all that even remotely ails you.
Blessings.
© 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)
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