The waning moon hung larger than life in
a pale blue Western morning sky. Near
directly across in the East came the sun with her fiery white golden orange
rays streaking the clouds in watercolor delight. “Such amazing beauty,” I thought to myself as
I gazed East into the sunrise. Staying
present in the moment was not so difficult with such beauty to behold. The miracle of the Earth turning with her
moon traversing its daily orbital trajectory did not pass through my mind
unnoticed. With so much beauty and
amazing aspects of existence to contend with, I wondered about all the things
in my life I did repeatedly that seemed to kill my spirit little by little, day
after day, month after month, year after many a year. “Why would you do a thing you did not want to
do at all,” one might ask. There are
reasons, endless ones. Sacrifices made
in a way; blessings garnered in so many others.
This is a strange and wondrous world we live in and this time
or rather this age in which we have all chosen to become physical is no accident. I’ve never given credence to the random
creation theories whether or not aspects can be proven. I don’t buy the biblical depictions either because
they are too shortsighted and proven unreliable. You might think me an atheist with such
thoughts. But honestly, I don’t think I
am. I just have my own hypotheses to
contend with such as my Creator’s Creators Creators…and beyond that, the
Source. I don’t understand much of this
world but I do understand humanity. I
can see the pain and the love interchangeably.
I can see the dichotomy in a single thought and action…I can feel the
degrees of potentialities beyond that which is simply manifested. But what do I do with such thoughts on such a
glorious occasion as a beloved morning off with no place to go? With a head full of understanding and a heavy
heart for having to contend with what I contend with settles in for a moment. I think I see it is I who is in need of a vast
adjustment in the realm of some deep seated expectation that life should be
filled with much less conflict than it is.
My intellect and experience even proves to me the benefit of daily
conflict -- the growth that comes from it…the understanding that is ever
expanding along with compassion.
I’m tired I think.
I’m tired of moving. I’m tired of
standing still. I could lie down and
close my eyes for another hundred years and awaken to find the environment
changed but humanity is still the same.
There will always be those that grow ever more aware in their
Consciousness and for that fact, I’m infinitely grateful. But still a part of me considers a long and
dreamless sleep much like the trees that shed their leaves, grow still as
summer breezes fall and branches laid bare only to weather the storms of Wintertime. But even in their slumber, the time of
rebirth is always at hand in the few weeks that stretch into months until
Spring. In every second is a moment of
rebirth…and yet in this one it seems frozen…extended…but the feeling is
unimaginably beautiful…resolute peace despite seeming chaos. I wonder what tomorrow might bring and
remember instead the chores of the day waiting… waiting to be completed. Is that what we are or why we are here? Waiting to become completed in some way we
don’t yet understand? I have no answers
for you. Just my musings and ramblings
from a mind tired from too much multi-tasking. 
I watched the sunrise this morning from a park in the middle of a little
neighborhood housing tract. The low-lying
mist swirled on the ground as I made my way through the grass for the perfect
spot to take just one shot. Instead, I
took two, one of the moon and another of the sun and then a few more. Such beauty there was in the space between each shot. It reminded me of so many things
that my mind could not take in a single additional thought. So, instead I opened
my heart and took in volumes in the weight of their feelings. I stood there alone in the cool misty
morning, sky turning orange, moon setting slowly. I smiled as a single ray of orange light
crossed the expanse of sky and touched the ground before me. Beautiful journey...tiring journey...blessed
journey, I thought as I gazed once more at the sky. I think I need a little more sky time so I’m
off to another treasured spot for some solace of nature’s grace. I wish you great blessings of faith beautiful
dreamers. Consider something I learned
so very long ago. The keys to the ultimate healing of your hearts can be more
easily found in striving to see the beauty of this world and in humanity than
in the weakness or indignity of blame and the embracing of any moment of disdain.
© 2014 Jaie Hart (photos and words)
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