If the answer is no, you will need to learn to free yourself and you can do so with real thought and real love that comes from nowhere but deep within the heart of you. To find this space and this peace within, you must learn and know truly that you possess all you ever need to be happy and feel loved. You must know that you are good enough and deserving to give that to yourself without interfering with another soul in existence. Creating false idols and your obsession with them will only ever bring you pain, deep heart-wrenching, soul twisting pain. No one and no thing in this world is accountable for your happiness and your love but you. If you are miserable, you are chosing this state. Rather than blame, get to the heart of the real reason why. What within you feels you deserve to suffer, you deserve pain and misery? Why would you not put your faith and trust in yourself to rescue you rather than discount yourself by thinking it is the responsibility of another, a situation or a thing to save you? Even should you gain that one thing, that one person or that one situation, did you know it would never bring you happiness? In fact, when you obtain the object of your ill-affection you would ultimately seek to destroy it due to the fact that it did not live up to your fantasy of rescue. So then, the creation of idols is the source of your downfall and the one thing in this world that will ensure your misery. You can choose otherwise. You can choose other thoughts. You can choose to stop the obsession along with the victim-blame mentality for your own inability to save yourself.
It's not easy to get there and it requires your willingness to put down your own ego and let long-standing wounds heal, forever. It requires that you dive into the heart of the painful thoughts only you have the power to create and reinforce. It requires that you see, truly see your own hand in your undoing time and time again in your life. It requires that you step back from your hatred with everyone and everything that has ever harmed you and learn to forgive yourself for allowing it to happen and then finding, eventually, forgiveness of others for doing the only things they knew how to do.
It's a worthy endeavor to travel inward with courage and love and know that you are the master of your destiny and you need bend no one's will to save you or to make you whole. Your miserable state of existence is caused, in fact, by your own decisions and thoughts...that is what you take accountability for -- your own thoughts...not the behavior of others. People will do hurtful things but if we hold them in contempt forever, we continue hurting ourselves with their words and their actions the rest of our lives. It is necessary to understand this if you wish to grow beyond a life of misery and emotional pain. You can reach beyond such a state and many before you have as they become ever more aware of the true human condition.
Do not blame yourself or anyone for the state you currently find yourself in. Accept that it is the culmination of your efforts and your thoughts and know that you have the power to change you...you cannot change another. You can bully and manipulate people to do what you want them to do but such behavior just exhibits for the world the sick state of your mind. You can heal it if you allow it to be so. It is your choice to think and feel as you do in your miserable state. However, you can stand up and leave that behind any time you choose by finding your self-love and relinquishing pain's urges to create false idols to save you. May you find infinite love and light on your journey. May you find compassion and love for yourself and others. May you find the beautiful ability to remove the blinds of sadness, not good-enough and pain from your own vision. Create love within you instead of false idols and you will be free. Blessings dear souls.
(photo is a random internet find I do not hold the copyright to)
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