New Thought? I Think Not.

An interesting thought popped into my head seemingly at random today. The thought was just this: We are merely the culmination of all of the words we’ve read and heard, the mannerisms we’ve seen in others and the feelings that we’ve observed in others. We think we are so unique at times, searching to be special or maybe seeking to stand out. But, how do we do that when every profound thought we think we own is really just a collection of all the thoughts we’ve been exposed to from others.

Then, another thought struck, in a sense that means we have just one other way that we are all connected. We build off of each other, we feed off of each other and if we’re really aware, we realize that there is energy to all of this. From a simple perspective, to the extent you’ve picked up someone’s mannerism and make it their own, maybe you’re giving that person an energy compliment. I know that in human interaction in mere conversation there is an unseen exchange of energy. James Redfield writes about this in his book, The Celestine Prophecy. You know when this is happening by the “flow” of conversation between members of the group and you know from experience that the flow is stunted only when someone is trying to take energy away via the ego. Its interesting stuff and I’d recommend James Redfield’s book strongly.

I don’t think the concept he conveys is all that wild or extraordinary…when I read it at first I thought, "Yeah, duh!" We either gel and flow in conversation or we don’t. The more I read about psychology and environmental development I learned how much the ego has a say in whether such group interactions promote the flow of energy or stop it. You can think this is all just crazy talk if you want and it’s entirely likely this thought is not my own at all but rather a culmination of all the hundreds and hundreds of books that I’ve read and connected with, experienced, etc.

Then, another thought occurred. Each time we are presented with the sum of someone else’s experience, we do tend to add something to it, maybe our experience, psychology and environmental development was so different that we have a different spin on the concepts we’re articulating in a string of thought or conversation. I know that is what occurs and we make each string our own, we put our name on it and call it ours. It’s not though. It seems to me there really can’t be any original thought sometimes. Like the world began with one idea and that idea became a seed that sprouted many trees bearing different fruit. Then, everything else came as a result of some serious cross-pollination.

I write a lot because I always have thoughts flowing and swirling…but you know, I have read an awful lot in the last twenty years. Maybe I’m still processing all of those words and concepts and end up feeling like I’ve been struck by an epiphany when all I’m doing is connecting similar concepts articulated by other folks that have all been struck by epiphanies. I’m thinking now of the old Breck Shampoo commercials…”So tell two friends, and they’ll tell two friends, and so on and so on…” (I'm laughing quietly to myself). None of this stuff really matters, just random thoughts and observations about how we feel like we’re all separate and different when the truth is, and we’re really connected in so many ways. This line of thought I’ve outlined above is really just one of the obvious ones. I’ll write more about empaths another time…another way we’re all connected.

So, get out there and think some really big thoughts and then go out and share them with someone. Who knows what good can come from it if you keep it thoughtful, positive and sincere.

Peace!

Shift In Consciousness

Always in the quiet and cool stillness of the wee morning hours do I find myself the happiest. The peace seems palpable, like you could hold it in the palms of your hands. I treasure such moments as I do many others. When the world gets chaotic, emotional and seemingly out of control, I learned a little trick while walking along my up and down path in life. It’s simple gratitude and appreciation. For example, earlier in the week I was feeling a bit chaotic juggling all of the seemingly important things in my world when all at once I was struck by the depth of a cerulean blue sky. Not to stop there, as it seemed my perception was rapidly expanding,in the span of seconds I lost all concept of time. My consciousness expanded and my senses came alive. It was so warm out and the grass had just been cut.

That smell of fresh cut grass on a warm day always reminds me of the summer time of my childhood...days spent in a little suburban neighborhood in Bellflower, California. I was always up so early just waiting for the sun, choking down breakfast quickly so I could go outside and play. I stopped in the moment in my present reality and all of those memories and scenes played in my mind's eye and I was filled with the joy and laughter of childhood memories of play and friends. But the moment was still expanding and I caught sight of the flowers in a bed near our building. The colors of the flowers seemed electric and alive...the brightest alive orange I’ve ever seen, the deepest soft pink in contrast with the green along with bright and vibrant yellow. I stood transfixed for what seemed like an hour. But the moment wasn’t yet done. My sight was pulled upward to a hawk hovering above the trees hunting for something small and delicious to eat. She looked magical floating on a warm up-draft of gentle wind current. She circled effortlessly and I just watched in awe.

But the moment still was not yet complete. Suddenly my consciousness was pulled to the people walking around the campus. I saw them moving so quickly and noticed they hadn’t noticed their surroundings at all, too caught up in drudgery as well as the superficiality of work-a-day existence. I could feel their thoughts and the cacophony seemed deafening. I observed only pulling back from my own thoughts and just watching a feeling what was happening around me. A cool breeze kicked up out of no where and blew my hair into my face. I looked at my black berry and realized all of this awareness and sensation occurred in a span of 3 minutes as I stood in the shade of a very large tree by my car in the parking lot. I smiled with an ear to ear grin. It’s like life is a simple joke sometimes. The things we think are so serious mean nothing and the things we miss, the things we don’t see mean everything. You might think it’s a cruel joke but to feel it you clearly know it’s not. A simple shift in your observation can bring joy and love spilling into your inner sight, your heart and your mind and the trivial things shift out of focus for as long as you remain open and refrain from control. It’s an amazing space to exist in if even only for 3 minutes.

I find I slip into such much moments more frequently. Perhaps I’ve been through so much raw emotion these past couple of years that I’ve really lost my mind and those moments I am transfixed in observation may just be moments in which my sanity is lost or maybe it’s that I’m insane all the other times but those short 3 minute escapes. I’m really not sure and I’ll probably question that forever. The one thing I do know is the effects are like being intoxicated in a good way, high on life…sort of like John Denver’s Rocky Mountain High…or something. Such moments remind me that there is so much more to life than we allow ourselves to see, hear and experience. You have to shift your focus a bit or become acutely aware when the shift occurs on its own. Remember what that feels like so you can go back to that space any time you want to.

Remember the peace today. Find something beautiful today. Appreciate something meaningful and deep today and realize you don’t have to go too far to find it. Be peaceful and filled with joy this day and all of your days.

Auto-Understanding

Tell me something I don’t know. Tell me something I want to hear. Is that too much to ask? I don’t want to know about falling interest rates, rising inflation and political rhetoric. I don’t want to know about high gas prices, wars and wounded. I don’t want to know about jilted lovers, angry mothers and inadequate feelings of frustration. I crave something new in my sphere of existence and am about to get it on one front. A change of focus so desperately needed.

Every year we all grow older. Every minute one step closer to the grave, a reality we all should not live in denial of. So, what to do with those minutes until then? I think I don’t want to spend them nutted up, cross-threaded, angry and anxious no matter who is trying to push my buttons. Life is too damn short to spend it clinging to the rickety car of some unseen roller coaster you never bought a ticket for to begin with. Life is really too amazing to walk through it oblivious to the beauty that exists in small pockets of the world, your world if you just stop for a moment and notice.

Now, this might sound strange, but I see the world and people differently than I ever have. When I look into someone’s eyes, I see the spark of divinity within. I see the aspect of their soul that is still connected to the source. A friend mentioned an unpleasant transgression committed at random causing the defacing of local property and this friend said he’d like to shoot the perpetrators. I immediately piped up saying that I understood that frustration but to take such action one would have to presume that the perpetrator was raised with morals and values and goes out of their way to deface just to spite. More likely it was environmental factors that shaped his or her psychology and caused the lacking self-respect to manifest outwardly against other property owners. My friend then said, I don’t want to understand them, I just want to shoot them.

I thought about that for a moment and reflected back inward. I understand the statement, “I just want to shoot them.” I have impulse thoughts like that as well but as strong as those thoughts might sometimes be, the logical mind kicks in and tells me that form of punishment, if seriously considered, would not fit the crime. I think I’d be more apt to force them to not only clean and paint the graffiti (that is what we’re talking about I neglected to mention) the individual left but I think I might have them carted around for a month of cleaning any graffiti that showed up anywhere in the city. But I can’t help to want to go further to get at the heart of what drives the perpetrators…what horrors have they lived, what pain have they been through that cause them to care so little about their community. Is it the gang mentality in that the only self-worth feelings derive from committing crime that would gain them approval from the collective of the other gang members? That is psychology and psychology can be helped.

I’m on a slippery slope as a co-dependent who understands psychology and the motives of others. It causes me to be forgiving when maybe I shouldn’t be. Of this, I am all too aware having my heart broken from living that understanding to points that maybe I shouldn’t have. So, I think balance is key…my thoughts of let the punishment fit the crime is a good compromise for an overly understanding soul I think. I starting to think I’m learning a little separation between auto-understanding to the point of co-dependency and reasonable discipline and accountability. That’s a good place and while the natural tendency is auto-understanding, I can work myself towards reasonable discipline. I do it with my children daily and should do it more. I understand what they’ve been through and make concessions perhaps where I shouldn’t. That’s okay; I’m not perfect I’m learning. But I want to learn something I don’t know, something positive, something happy, something wonderful today. I’ll just put that out there and see what comes back.

Peace.

Onyx Sky

An onyx sky with twinkling diamonds she saw when she first stepped outside this morning. She stood there in complete awe and feeling so small and insignificant while gazing up at the pre-dawn sky. The air was cool and damp as it should be on a fall morning she casually thought. She arose only thirty minutes before that moment feeling restless and anxious instead of peaceful after a long night’s repose. She wondered about that but the feelings were nebulous with no seeming source in sight. She went with it and moved about her morning business. First things first, the coffee is brewing emitting a warm aroma that eases the tense feeling somewhat. Routine is a comfort and she realizes in the moment why she holds to it day in and day out. Like a child needing discipline to feel safe her routine gives her a sense of control in an often chaotic life.

The children are all sleeping peacefully and she realizes how much she treasures waking up in the quiet of the morning, before the children awaken. Those quiet moments allow her to recharge her thoughts more gently, allow her to make more sense of the things she’ll face in the day. She realizes that she’s taken on way too much in this world but there’s no help for it now, no turning back. She must go on and keep it together, keep the juggling going so those around her will remain entertained and in their seats for the show of life. She has much to teach and much to learn and is luckily a very quick study. Except, it seems, in one small area…love. Love both drives and repels her in this life. The one thing she wants most seems always to elude her for reasons she can’t always understand. She tries though, she always tries.

She sips her coffee and navigates her way through her laptop that feels warm and comforting, like a treasured friend. When no one else is around to listen, she pours her thoughts out through the key board and onto the screen. She reads what spills out and seeks to understand. For some reason the thoughts seem more organized and cohesive when on the screen for her to read as if the thoughts come from without. She finds it easier to help others navigate this game we call life than it is for her to navigate her own and deal with her own emotions. Sometimes she thinks putting the words on the screen makes it seem like its someone else telling her about their woes, worries and troubles and she can better analyze what’s happening when she sees her thoughts from the outside in. It’s a hard place to sit, always questioning what she sees, second guessing herself.

She steps outside again in the damp and dark, same onyx sky and sparkling diamonds. She lights a cigarette and slowly inhales. As she exhales the thoughts of self-loathing begin because she hates the idea of smoking at all and wonders why she’s only been able to give it up for days at a time. She stops the self-loathing thoughts and realizes its her choice and once she wraps her head around the need she’ll be able to let it go. She says good morning to her neighbor as he leaves in the dark for work…a horse jockey and a really nice man, that one, she thinks. Alone in the dark again, on her front porch she continues to stare up at the sky. She talks to God in her own way each morning with deep appreciation for life, gratitude for friends and the people she loves. She’s grateful for a job that feeds her family and allows her to find shelter. She’s ultimately happy and optimistic despite everything swirling around her and beneath all of those thoughts a steady hum of other thoughts plays in the background of every waking moment. The thoughts of a man she’s spent a good deal of time with over the past several months. He’s a friend and a good one. Someone else she’s grateful to have in her life.

That line of thought is a whole separate story she thinks and decides to let the hum go without exploring the swirling thoughts there. It’s best to leave those alone and not analyze. In that area she knows she needs to just be in the moment in order to avoid so many mistakes from the past. Her center must be maintained religiously there in order to stop frenetic thoughts from flying out of control. She loves him she knows but not in a way others might expect of her. She’s learned in life that love is by far more than the infatuation driven chemical feelings of a fleeting romance. She knows this one is different, more important and not driven by the urgings of her ego. Thus the need for maintaining her center…to keep the ego disengaged, to keep it’s fearful and self-conscious thoughts at bay. She puts out her cigarette and watches the embers fade from bright orange to black. She lingers a moment with her hand on the door. It’s time to wake up the kids and get them moving. It’s time to mentally prepare for her routine departures from thoughts and emotions. It’s time to turn on the child-like wonder for the occurrences of the day. She lets go of her morning contemplations and moves into the daily routine again. It’s going to be a great day she thinks and she’s officially off to it.

Pain in My Heart/Music to My Ears

It’s a cool Saturday afternoon in October. There are huge clouds up in the sky and it’s sprinkling off and on today. I’m in a favorite pair of jeans, a t-shirt and just relaxing. I’ve got a cup of coffee in hand at 5:00 in the afternoon. I’ve been updating my iTunes and organizing my music. I’ve been so lost lately emotionally it seems so I thought I’d make myself some new music mixes. I had nearly forgotten how much I loved alternative music. It’s stuff that doesn’t evoke intense emotions in me at the moment so that’s the focus of the afternoon. I’ve got myself a nice little mix of Chris Cornell, Temple of the Dog, Pearl Jam and Stone Temple Pilots recording on a little CD. I intend to replace all of the CDs in my car disk changer. I need new thoughts and music is a perfect way to usher that energy in. Especially music you’ve not touched in a while.

I have a wide array of music I listen too. Some of my favorites include Tool, A Perfect Circle, Staind, all of the above. Along with that I have a ton of chick music, Dixie Chicks, Jewel, Chely Wright, Sara McLaughlin, Trisha Yearwood, Cheryl Crow, etc. I’ve also got a bunch of the hits from the seventies like Carly Simon, Carol King, Cat Stevens, Jim Croce, Joe Cocker, etc. I love music. I love intense music. I love deep music. I love slower paced heavy metal sounding stuff and I even love my Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies…Punk Covers of the songs from the seventies. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard the punk version of One Tin Soldier Rides Away or Mandy.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching through music lately. iTunes has been my best friend and counselor today. I’m not sure what I’m searching for. My collection of music has often represented new influence of people in my life. They introduce me to things I never heard before or never really paid attention to. So now I have this great collection of music but I must admit that at times, I grow sad listening to some of it. It reminds me of times long past, the way I thought or felt and the things that I experienced. Much was good but it’s always hard for me to look back. Take a recent 70’s mix I think I posted the other day. Whenever I hear Linda Rondstadt sing “…and I think I’m gonna love you for a long, long time,” I cry. When I hear John Denver sing “Sunshine on my shoulders make me happy. Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry,” guess what I do…tear up. Those songs remind me of the past. In the seventies is when I became aware of my family dynamics and started to learn all was not right in my world. The music is beautiful and I love it…it reminds me of home but then it quickly reminds me of bewildered times, frightening times and I can’t take it for long.

Then there are those days when I plug in Tool and hear Maynard sing “Why can we not be sober, I just want to start this over…” I think of my second ex-husband and the happy times we shared in our little house in HB and then I grow sad realizing how much we had and let slip away. It’s hard to remember. Then I plug in Temple of the Dog and I’m reminded of an old and still dear friend who once brought me a copy. The music is alternative…easy to listen too and deep in a different way. In reminds me of my friend, who is also my nine year old daughter’s dad. We’re still friends today and I’m grateful for that. I remember so much about the music that he liked and introduced me to. Interesting and thoughtful times.

When I’m in love I lean towards the Dixie Chicks, Jewel, Trisha, etc. I love those songs that cause me to emote even more than I normally do but then, when things go wrong and I’m not in love, that same music brings me to tears. That’s good because sometimes I’m too tough to cry and that’s not good…I start reverting back to my old ways of locking myself up and away and the tears want to fall but won’t. I remember someone close to me, someone I hurt telling me that when he hears the song by Simon and Garfunkle, “…I am a rock, I am an island…I’ve got my books and my poetry to protect me…I’m shielded in my armor” it made him think of me. I remember those days and how shut down I was emotionally and didn’t have a clue. I didn’t know but I didn’t ignore that comment and spent ten years opening up and trying my best to heal the scars that made me an island unto myself. Not a good place to be.

Forgive the rambling this evening…all this music just has me in an interesting mood and I was compelled to let the thoughts have voice. Well, I’m off for more coffee. May you dance with your ghosts to a happy tune this evening as I will with mine…and I’ll send them home at midnight as I drift off to peaceful sleep.

Serenity Circle

You can really feel the change in seasons now. The fog has rolled in off the coast nearly every day this past week. We had a few extraordinarily warm days but they passed and yesterday was quite cool. Gone are those hot sunny summer days that gave you a feeling that all the cares in the world were nothing and fun in the sun was the theme of the day. But, well, I’m in California so they’ll likely be back with a nice arid Santa Ana wind from time to time. The weather has always been a fascination of mine and it’s a wonderful and universal way to strike up a conversation, isn’t it?

Yesterday I had a touch of the blues. Maybe it was the thought that summer is over and summer brought me many new things, wonderful things and self-discovery. Maybe it’s just impending change…lots of it over the next year once again. I don’t want to borrow trouble so I’ll let the idea of that go and focus just on the big one I’m facing in the near term. I’m excited to start my new job, learn a new role and go back to working with familiar friends and faces. Not that the ones in my current job aren’t special. Of course they are. It’s change that I struggle with even though logically I see the wisdom of stepping into it and enjoying the process. I realized though that somewhere inside is doubt, concern and hesitation for seemingly no reason at all. “Its just change,” I repeatedly attempt to tell myself.

I felt completely at peace when I woke up this morning. My first thought was that first precious cup of warm coffee and cream. I’m pretty simple but always look forward to that first cup. I love the feeling I get when I smell it brewing. I love the bold taste of coffee tempered with something sweet. My morning ritual includes adding just enough cream to change the color from deep brown to tan. I can tell the mix is right just by the color. I’m funny like that but that’s okay. My coffee is very much like a morning ritual. When I’m sipping that first cup, I recall the events of the day before, those things I’m grateful for, those things I’ll strive to do better with and those things I left undone. I acknowledge them and move on to the day at hand hopeful and optimistic it will bring unexpectedly pleasant surprises. I like a pleasant surprise. After that, I typically look forward to sitting down to write. I don’t publish even half of what I write. I write what’s on my mind, in my heart and in my soul. If I like it enough, I post it.

Writing, like any other task, is worth doing well. I’m not perfect with mine but I just get so full of ideas and thoughts from the many lessons I learn day in and day out and just feel compelled to commit them to my blogs or my poetry. It’s one thing to create a piece but there is a release of reality to it when it’s published in one of my blogs somewhere on the web. Writing is catharctic, healthy and focusing for me. Sometimes I feel like I can’t really own something I’ve learned unless I’ve committed it to words on my screen or handwritten it in my journal. I’m a kinesthetic learner unable to just hear something and own it. I’m unable to see something and own it. I’m unable to do something and own it. But, when I write about what I’ve heard, seen or done, it cements the concepts, ideas and feelings rolling through my internal vision and memory to a lesson learned and one that won’t be forgotten. It’s interesting to me how that works so differently for all of us.

I have so many wonderful things and human exchanges happening very regularly these days. In fact, it’s those human exchanges that seem to humble me most. I was helping a friend with a particularly vexing issue yesterday. I guess my perspective made a difference as this friend gushed afterwards with commentary along the lines of disbelief that I carry so much and have time for a friend, that I go through so much and yet have so much sensible wisdom to offer along with perspectives that get right straight through to the heart of the matter. It makes me feel good for a few seconds because I’m truly grateful to help another human being on the planet with perspectives on things that represent a way of looking at things they haven’t considered before…I like to offer what I can to help bring about healing or growth. Although I say something trivial like, “What are friends for” or “It’s nothing, don’t give it a second thought,” what I want to say sometimes is, “I’m nothing and no one. Take a walk inside my mind with me. Come on. You think I’m so special, let me show you how much I’m just like you.”

“This place is filled with light sometimes and darkness in others. See over there, that’s where my fear resides for the one thing I’ve always wanted and was never sure I had, love. Over here is where my sense of self-worth fluctuates like the tides at times. See over here? This is where my anger still resides from childhood at feeling cheated out of a normal life thanks to alcoholism. Down here, see this is where I always feel successful and full of self-love but this place is often consumed with the parts of the ego that will ever strive to be better than everyone else as if my life depended on it. Here is the place my memories dwell and rather than take the weight of the sadness some of those memories bring, I get creative and strive to find meaning so the weight and pain of these things won’t destroy me. See over here? Here is a spark of a tiny flame, a flame of hope and where my dreams are still alive. Look over there…see that? T hat’s my sanity…notice the tiny gossamer thread it hangs by most days?”

I’m not different than any one else and when the worries of the world hit me…like everyone else, I must wade through the dark recesses of my mind and look for something to use as a filter, a filter of recognition of how I or someone I know dealt with something from the past to use to guide me. I have to dig through years of fears and feelings of failure to try to find enough light to guide me. I do know that something within me is ever inquisitive and philosophical. I thank God for that part of my mind or maybe it’s actually my soul. I’m not sure which but whatever it is it compels me to seek the deepest meaning possible in every experience that floats and/or crashes into my thoughts. I’m grateful for that and believe because of that I’m upright rather than rocking back and forth in the fetal position in the corner. Like everyone else I’ve seen good things and bad, terrifying and joyful things and have experienced happiness and pain. I’m a little more careful with myself these days in many regards. Not that I lock myself away, I really don’t do that any more. The writing of this piece and the fact that I published it here is a demonstration of how very open to the world I am regardless of past pain. I’m either very brave or very stupid. I’m not sure which but it works for me and helps me survive the thick and heavy emotions that some times strike us mere mortal human beings.

I think maybe that thinking these things through detail by detail, analyzing, fitting pieces together and seeking always to learn and understand are the corner stone of my existence, the drive that pushes me ever onward even when I’m afraid and the source of my lessons. I’ve gone off on quite the tangent I see but it’s good. Everything that happens to us is ultimately good, we just can’t always feel that way until enough time and distance has passed enough for us to look back objectively with a fresher perspective a little more free from the attached emotions we have with events. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just full of “you-know-what” and the gossamer thread snapped a long time ago. It could be. However, this place I’m in is a good place today. I’m removed from the heavy feelings of the day now passed and have returned to myself a measure of serenity.

I sincerely hope you all can do that too today. Maybe happiness or bliss is a bit much of a stretch. Sometimes those things aren’t what they’re chalked up to be. I find that bliss and happiness raise us to a precarious place, like after eating a good piece of chocolate…the high is nice but the fall somewhat devastating. Peace and serenity are a lot different. They are more neutral feelings and places in which you can allow the mind to dwell in a state of. There is no fall from peace and no fall from serenity. We get pushed outside of those things like they are a circle at the center of our being. The really great part about that type of analogy is that at any time we so choose, we can step back into that circle. Really, it is just that simple. You have to give yourself permission to let anxious thoughts go though. You have to really believe it is possible and then just do it.

May peace and serenity over-take you today and all of your tomorrows.

Looking for Opportunities

Its finally Friday and this week has seemed so long. The weeks do tend to drag on when you’re dealing with things that are not entirely pleasant. For me, it’s impending change and although it is self-imposed and specifically sought…it’s still change and I don’t care for it much like any other human. However, I do have the wisdom enough to know that without change you stagnate and can no longer grow. That to me is truly a more frightening thought than the impending change. So, I tell myself, “Change is Good.”

I start a new job the week after next and I need to do some things over the next eight months to down size. I’m not in financial trouble but am downsizing to be smart about money. I don’t have to live less than a mile from the beach. I wanted to do it for a year and am enjoying the proximity to my beloved Pacific but inland will save me $500 a month and I may be able to rent a house on a typical suburban street or a condo with a Jacuzzi, tennis courts or a pool. That would be nice! So, the plan is being formed. I’m in a lease so will make my plan, put it out on the calendar and gradually work towards it. In April, we start looking for a new home to live in.

I’m also going to work to lighten the load we keep dragging around with us. I’ve got projects I want to start and finish before the move so I need to plan that out, keep the list handy and start to work on it whenever I have down-time. Like this weekend. A certain friend of mine is busy so I wont see him until Sunday. Rather than pout or be bummed out about not getting to spend time with this favorite friend, I’ve got a list of projects I now have the opportunity to get started on. I’m going to break out that list and just get going. First up are the garage demons! Oh yes, those! I want to get everything organized in standard sized plastic bins so that I can get rid of card-board boxes. I hate those because spiders can so easily climb in…Yikes! That will take me most of the day Saturday.

Tonight its getting back to basics, doing the simple things I’ve not really had time for…a pedicure, coloring my hair, rearranging my room, organizing my closet, filling up a bag of clothes I no longer wear and taking them to good will. I call it Fall Cleaning. One day every season, I go through the things I have and see what I can do to lighten my load. One sort of spiritual twist to this I’ve not mentioned is that if you want to invite more love, light and happiness into your life, you have got to make room. When your abode is so cluttered, your mind gets cluttered and the flow of positive energy and abundance is stunted, and often obscured to a great degree. I’ve been feeling like the flow of energy is not as streamlined and fulfilling as it could be so I’m grateful that my favorite friend to spend time with is busy this weekend. It gives me the fantastic opportunity to attend to some things I’ve completely blown off for the last two months.

I plan to come home tonight, turn on some good music, take my oldest daughter out to Cold Stone Creamery for an ice cream dinner…yes, we must celebrate in a fun fashion the work we will need to get done this weekend and I love to shock my kids with fun things like ice cream or pan cakes for dinner some times just to see their eyes light up. The Martha-Stewart type moms are probably cringing but I didn’t say I did this every day, right? Once in a while. The smile and the joy in the kids eye’s is worth it. Besides, I think ice cream and fresh fruit qualifies in the food pyramid so there!

I’m procrastinating a bit in getting my day started and now only have 15 minutes to get ready for work. I’m so happy that it’s Friday. I get to go check out my new office today and visit with one of my peers for lunch out. I’m so looking forward to it. I’ve got to talk to my staff today and let them in on some change in my life that is going to affect them. I know they’ll be disappointed but I’m hoping they’ll be happy for me too. I need them to know that they’ll have my commitment to continued mentoring so I can help them grow their careers. That is one thing about my work I have had the pleasure of doing many times over…helping people grow. It’s something that really lights up my world.

Moral for today’s story is to think about what opportunities you’ve been presented with this week. What can you do to take positive advantage of those opportunities. Also, what things can you do for yourself this weekend that will bring the twinkle back into your own eyes? Do those things. Do those things this weekend. So often we get busy taking care of everyone else that we put ourselves at the bottom of the list. This weekend, change it up and put yourself at the top. You have my permission and you deserve it. Have a fantastic Friday!