Holding Space - Empathy in Times of Conflict

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The political climate of late has put so much negative energy out into the ether that it is just hard to breathe sometimes.  I think that we humans are just competitive by our very natures and so easily succumb to the tasks at hand (winning at all costs) that we forget that there is a cost.  I remember once sitting in a meeting a very long time ago.  In that meeting tempers flared to the point that the sparks of anger were not only heard but energetically felt in the room that suddenly became so thick and heavy.  Several people seemed to be doing their best to just disappear, one was desperately trying to intervene and return focus and equilibrium, some seemed to be relishing in the conflict on the side of one or the other of the seemingly warring factions and then there was me, feeling the collateral damage of the continuing conflict as a silent empath in the room.  I held an energetic space in that moment.  I just imagined sending out peaceful energy, drawing from the light of the universe, pulling it in, concentrating as much as I could and blanketing all within ear-shot and energetic reach with calm focused peace.

It didn’t stop the conflict. The egos continued to clash for pole position in front of the others. The peacemaker continued her efforts and as the minutes wore on she was joined by others and we all joined in as a majority then and suggested that the two warring factions would need to discuss their conflict offline rather than continuing to derail the meeting and preventing the rest of the group from moving forward with its respective set goals and well, the meeting agenda.  Begrudgingly the two political warriors capitulated outwardly but I could still feel the divisive negativity of their energy.  Gosh was it thick and awful being in that room.  At one point, I could take it no further so I excused myself a moment.  I needed air; I needed to put some distance between me and that energy.  I took a short lap around the floor of the building slowly and purposefully.  I intended to waste 5 minutes of meeting time to just discharge some of that negative energy my sponge-like being seemed to soak in over-much.    I turned the corner to return to the meeting.  I imagined myself in a huge impenetrable bubble that no energy could enter and imagined any stray energy that tried would just bounce off and head on out to space.  I took a deep breath and re-entered the room composed and hopeful.

This election reminded me of that meeting.  There are those in outright conflict willing to battle with anyone, anything and everything that moves on any side of the candidates’ platforms, there are those who absolutely relish in the conflict for the energy put out no matter how destructive and then there are those peace makers running around trying to make peace with their friends, family and even on social media.  But you know, there is another faction beyond the peacekeepers.  There are those who hold space.  They hold space of energy clearing (and yes that is really a thing) to remove unproductive aspects such as fear that darkens the potential progress that conflict can bring.  You won’t see them at the table relishing in the conflict, or trying to change it outwardly, they may speak up now and then somewhat softly and do their level best to hold a space where others are not so fearfully impacted while they learn from this conflict.  They’ll reach for the high road and pull it down a bit so others can more easily traverse the road, the weeks, days and hours until the mass of the conflict starts to dissipate.

This isn’t limited to the presidential candidacy.  They intend to do their work for whatever conflict they encounter in their lives or in the ether as needed.  Do they make a difference?  I think they do and I notice them, I can feel them and I am with them energetically, mindfully and physically with all of my heart and soul.  They’ll see this conflict through with logic, calm peace and tranquility like a mother’s gentle brushing of the hair from the eyes of a small child upset.  It’s really quite beautiful to witness and to feel.  They may not seem to obviously change the world but to the energetically sensitive, we’ll know the power they truly hold.  So, today my thoughts and energy go out to the collective in peace for the sake of harmony, tranquility and growth from this conflict.  My hopes and prayers contain love, understanding and compassion for all seeing and feeling the conflict for what it is – not something to hate, despise or add more negative energy to but something to understand and maybe appreciate if even from a safe energetic distance. 

In allowing the world to be as it is, I do not need to change what I see, I do not need to engage in battle to fight those I think are wrong because they do not see as I see or believe as I do.  In allowing the world to be as it is, I can thrive because I seek understanding, I strive to see more and more through the eyes of love and I live for every beautiful precious and precarious moment of life that we all share.  I’m glad to be here in good times and bad and although sometimes I think we’ve had moments as the human race I might be prouder, my judgment is not needed and my energetic responsibility is to take comfort in the knowing that all will be well regardless of races, opinions, conflicts and platforms.  This is how I choose to see it – well, safe, globally triumphant and compassionately fine.  I send you blessings for your journey dear ones.  Take comfort in your being for you are blessed beyond compare no matter where you sit or what you see or even do to contribute either positively or sometimes even negatively.  You will learn and grow and do miraculous things no matter who wins or loses.  Keep striving.  Keep living.  Add to the collective from the heart as much as possible and you will make a difference.  You are amazing.  Keep being amazing!

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© 2016 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Mosaic

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So many people in this world want to save people from themselves.  This is an honorable intention, no doubt.  But what if we realized that suffering was truly optional and that our intention to save people from themselves would actually result in robbing others from an experience they are choosing to experience?  What if instead, we took a look at our own desire to save and understand what is truly at the core of that desire?  What if we truly got very curious and asked ourselves about the belief or judgments we may be unconsciously holding that might cause us to want to play the hero?

Playing any role is fine, so understand that I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble or to come off as lacking compassion.  I’ve just learned lately to see things differently.  So, I’ve written before about Sympathy, Empathy and Compassion.  Of the three, I would always choose compassion.  Compassion allows everyone and everything to be as they are or as it is, without requiring change; without judgment of good or bad.  Compassion just loves and allows, it seeks understanding, it knows with full awareness that there is nothing really wrong with anything.

That might be a huge stretch for many to grasp and that is okay.  I might even take some heat for these thoughts by those who might judge me callous.  I’d say, okay, if that is how you wish to see me through your own psychological filters, fine.  It changes nothing in my world, it does not change my love for humanity or the compassion I hold for all in my soul.  What it would do is help me understand better all the thoughts and feelings of my fellow human beings.  It is okay to feel and to have emotion.  It is all just an experience.  All experience is on the same continuum and only differs by the various degrees with which an experience is perceived by the wonderful individuals who perceive.

You see, part of what makes this world and humanity so amazing is the varied perceptions of the whole.  These perspectives are the mosaic of the projection of life as we know it.  If you pull out pieces of the mosaic indicating that the mosaic is incomplete because this piece or that displeases you or brings you discomfort, you could be missing the point of the entirety of the picture.  It’s okay because even that is perfect no matter how imperfect or perfect it might be perceived by some.  Everything is okay as it is.  Do what you must or what you feel compelled to do but if you want real growth in life, you first must desire to understand your own motivation.  For understanding the self, leads to understanding of the whole of humanity, of existence, of life in its true state of perfect projection.

So, what do you want to do today?  Do it with all of your heart.  Be as authentically you as you can and realize that not everything is precisely as it seems.  This understanding creates great compassion.  The more loving of self and authentic you become in your quest within, the more you realize not one soul is alone here, all suffer to some degree and you may even come to understand and appreciate your own suffering as more than some infinitely uncomfortable experience or bad hand in life.  You may come to understand your own beauty and perfection and then view all of humanity through this new and truly divine filter you have created in your curious investigations.

Just some food for thought.  

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© 2016 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

 

A Case Against Empathy: Through Understanding

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Where ever it is you are looking, so there it is you will go, the thought came seemingly out of the blue.

I let the thought coalesce fully into my barely awakening mind as I laid there in the dark and cool of the morning.  How many times have I experienced this very lesson?   

Admittedly, in some matters I’m apparently a little slow in spotting the theme of a life lesson when it is woven so subtly and intricately throughout my every day existence.  But, when you find a way, a tiny space in time to step back from your life and re-focus, there it is – the theme and pattern of the true life lesson emerges.

We are unconsciously seeking many things for a very good number of reasons and seek them we will until we gather from our seeking, that which satisfies our hunger for life lesson learning.

The words beg for my consciousness again, Wherever it is you are looking, so there it is you will go.   

What have I been observing lately?  I can tell you it has been disharmony and it’s all around me but not me.  I see it and feel it in those who are near and yet there is nothing that I can or should do about it.  That might sound callous or harsh but there is a point to my mental meandering so stick with me a moment if you can.

I’ve realized of late how silly it is of me to think that it is my job or role to empathically take on the emotions of others.  It does nothing for me or for them except double the chaos of emotion even if shared from alternative perspectives.  All those egos fighting for an imaginary pole position in an illusive race are thirsty but what they reach for will not quench them.  It will only leave them dry and parched and that is where the guilt rises within me along with the empathy. 

I see what is happening inside of them and I feel it and have this warped sense of obligation to do something just because I see and feel it.  It seems like the right thing to do but then I wonder about the concept of the thought of right?  Who decides if it is right to interfere if even via my own emotions as I watch the roles played out before me.  Where I look, I will go.

I do not like where I have been as the burden has been too much for me to carry.  I didn’t realize the answer was there all along.  It is not that I should stop seeing what I am seeing but rather how I am seeing it and taking in the experience of it in empathy.

Now with understanding, I can look and see the shining souls rallying to experience this dream as they intended without my emotional interference or empathy.  Rather, I can hold a space of compassion and understanding for their life lessons as others have done for me.

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© 2015 Photo and Words

If you enjoyed this piece, you might also enjoy my books:  http://www.jaiehart.com.

 

The Ultimate Learning - Simply Put.

On the path, we may come to learn to be conscientious. We may then learn about sympathy. From there we may graduate to empathy. From there we may learn the mastery of true love and then compassion - The Ultimate Learning!

To elaborate a bit further:

• When Conscientious, we realize that other people have feelings too and we seek consideration of them as we go through our lives. Conscientious is good but just a stage on the path.

 

• When Sympathetic, we certainly mean well but eventually learn sympathy truly reinforces another's weakness and is truly an act of malware in the ego.  Sympathy is not the goal but a stage we move through.

 

• When we graduate to Empathy, we have learned to not only feel within to but to feel others as well. The challenge then becomes the ability to set boundaries and the realization that we need not carry another's burden in pain or emotion. Empathy is not the destination but yet another stage on the path.

 

• When we come to Love and we learn that it begins within us, we learn to carry ourselves and to allow others to be as they are. Love is not the only destination but still, yet, another stage in the journey of self-realization and ultimate discovery.

 

• When we find Compassion, we learn to love all as we love ourselves, including this world and all worlds. Compassion allows an understanding at the deepest levels possible and is an imperative on the path to true understanding.

 

• The stages continue on refining and enhancing us as we move along in our lives like diamonds shaped to that perfect light reflecting sparkle.  A return to ourselves with a knowing we held the light all along.

Bless.

 

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo and words)