Friday, December 31, 2010

No More Envy/Jealousy - Only Love!

In the Bible, Deuteronomy 5:6–21, within the 10-Commandments is a line that reads: "Neither shall you covet your neighbor’s wife. Neither shall you desire your neighbor’s house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."  There is a lot of wisdom in our ancient texts.  This commandment is not a threat to make you comply with the edict or go to you know where.  Understand what the real message is behind this.  No matter how good you are or think you are, there will always be someone better than you.  No matter how beautiful you are, there will always be someone more beautiful than you.  No matter how much time you spend at the gym or with a personal trainer, there will always be someone more sculpted and toned than you.  This is a fact.  Now, knowing this, does this mean that you should in any way believe that people better, more beautiful, more sculpted, smarter and more successful than you takes anything away from who you are?  Absolutely not!  So, why allow thoughts inside of your head to negatively play and make you strive to be what you are not or cannot be?  It's pointless.  You are who you are.  Does that mean you have to accept yourself as a failure in comparison to people who are better than you?  Heck no!  What you have to do to be healthy and loving with yourself is learn to appreciate your own gifts, those things that are uniquely you that you bring to and share with this world!

Envy and jealousy are deadly things to self-love and are just wholly bad for you to behold.  This is the real reason this commandment was written.  It isn't necessarilly that it is wrong and you MUST avoid the topical application of this edict or fear is that it is bad for you to feel and think about.  Every individual has his or her own spark of divinity within.  We are all beautifully and wonderfully different from each other.  No one person is any more beautiful or special than the other.  We all bring something interesting and wonderful to the table.  We should be proud of that fact, comfortable with that fact and accepting of that fact rather than beating ourselves up because we are not taller, not blonde, don't have big breasts, large muscles, perfectly pouty lips, a thin body, a trophy wife or husband, a Ferrari in the garage, etc.  To give yourself over to the relentless pursuit of gaining material or other possessions to look good, or striving only to affect your outside appearance is like chasing an illusive and imaginary dragon.  It cannot be done and your efforts might gain you some ground but at a great cost to your soul.  Pursuing what everyone else has or trying to fit into someone else's mold makes you discount yourself.

Commercials and advertising always put out there some new and expensive way to make you more beautiful, more powerful and more wonderful on the outside.  Max out the credit cards for plastic surgery - now that is the way to true happiness, right?!  NOT!  If you cannot accept you for who you are, then what you pursue will always leave you empty.  Whenever we seek a superficial route of perceived perfection in look, in dress, in possessions, there will always be this nebulous emptiness pursuing you.  True happiness and beauty comes from within.  One of the most beautiful women I have ever seen was a woman probably in her sixties, over-weight, black and gray hair tied back but light shining in her eyes despite the wrinkles the years had brought her.  Walking with her were her grandchildren, laughing and playing and just to see her so wrapped up in a moment of enjoying their laughter - now that was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  Not to cheat the men, one of the most amazing men I've seen out in this world was a man somewhere in his 70's, walking with his wife by the beach, they turned from the pier and began walking on the street.  He put his arm on her back and switched sides so he could walk on the outside nearest the traffic.  He held her hand and smiled and in that, I saw one of the most amazing men ever.  He was not tall or handsome and he wore inexpensive clothes but he, to me, was absolutely amazing!

What I've described here that is most beautiful is the love that was shining from inside of people.  You cannot buy that from a plastic surgeon, a retail store or an auto-dealer.  That kind of beauty and wonder can only be found within.  The moment you are jealous of what someone else has, you have given away your power and your ability to stay in touch with the love and light within you.  The moment you allow envy to enter your thoughts, you have just told yourself you are nothing, less than and unworthy.  Those are not good and healthy thoughts for you and the more you hold negative thoughts the more those thoughts will act like a magnet to other negative thoughts and things in the universe.  Sometimes when we think so little of ourselves, people will sense that and they too may think little of us.  If we think we are unlovable as we are, how can anyone else give us the kind of love that really has lasting value?

Envy and jealousy are not wrong.  We have an ego that really promotes these things out of fear...fear that it will be abandoned, looked over and neglected or disparaged in some way.  But we can counter the fear of the ego by keeping always that flame of love within us burning brightly.  That flame of love ensures our well being and welfare from a more important place than the outside world. Envy and jealousy are hurtful thoughts to us.  Since we do not want to really hurt ourselves, we really should let go of such thoughts and not give them credence.  Admiration of others is different.  If you admire, you support in a healthy way.  I admire so many for the strength, adaptability, true love within, wisdom and intelligence.  I consider myself grateful to have such people in my sphere because I learn from them.  I have no need to be better them, beat them or drag them down.  I do not wish to be threatened by their presence, so choose not to be.   I want to see them succeed.  If I wish them only well and abundant and peaceful lives, what kind of magnetic energy am I putting out there?  I know in this world that there are women so much more  beautiful than I, with perfect teeth and bodies, desirable bodily attributes, beautiful hair and eyes...there are people out there more intelligent and successful than I but there is one thing I will not allow myself to do and that is feel bad that I am not as they are.  I will feel glad that I am who I am and for the unique gifts I bring to this life.  In this way, I'm free from chasing illusive dragons that will only ever really manifest pain and suffering in my life.

As we begin each new day, think more about self-love, self-acceptance and how you can be your own best cheerleader or coach every day and in every moment of your life.  Think about ways that you can demonstrate to you that you are important, that you matter and that you are successful in providing in this world your unique gifts that are worthy of admiration.  I'm not saying never try to improve yourself or to learn and grow.  I'm saying do so in a healthy and positive manner by striving for what is real and lasting and not for what is fleeting and shallow.  The reason?  Well, you'll live in this world a happier being and you'll send out miles of smiles all over this world and believe me, this world needs as much positivity as it can get.  I wish you a wonderful life!  I wish you Health!  I wish you Love!  I wish you Peace!  I wish you Happiness!  I wish for you the beginnings of all of your Dreams Coming True! ~Blessings

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