The Illusion of Fear

In your creation of walls around your heart, you have already succumbed to fear.  In such a state, you are cut off from true love and can only identify with egotistical love.  You can exist there as long as you want.  You can also free yourself.  Love is the way there.  At times it becomes so easy for us to engage in battle and become warriors for what we think is right, but in so doing we can become so mired in a war we’ve lost before it even begins.  When you can stand back and truly see every soul for who they really are, understand and come to a place of compassion rather than resentment, frustration or hatred, you will free yourself to love not only you but everything in every kingdom – human, plant, animal, celestial and ethereal.

Human love is not real.  It is an illusion.  It is created by the ego to allow only a privileged few to rise to a state where you will love them.  That love is conditional.  I hear so many say that unconditional love is not possible in this frame.  That too is an illusion.  Unconditional is not only possible but is the only truth we have to work with.  We just fail to see it until we learn to understand the language.  Everything we see, hear, feel and come to know has an associated language.  Look at your home – everything there can be translated to a language spelled out with geometry…look at the interactions little planet Earth has with time and all of the celestial bodies-everything there can be translated with the language of mathematics…look at your interactions with all of the kingdoms…human, plant, animal and more…there you come to learn other languages and get your first taste of the language of love…that is, if you are looking and are not overly caught up with the ego and the illusions we must contend with in this world.  These languages have always been there but we just do not notice them and so they do not register or resonate in our consciousness.

When we learn to hear and feel the languages and like radio receivers begin to pick up the signals, the illusions that surround us start to shake us up  a bit and the more we tune in, the more everything begins to fall away.  You begin to discern what matters and what doesn’t and your choices not only begin to alter your own life but the lives of everyone on the planet.  When you fall onto the wrong side of pain and embrace the victor/victim play, you will be trapped and the scenario will repeat as your focus on your victim state calls out to the universe with that vibration and you will find you actually call that to you more.  When you can find some way to step out of that play and see instead actions/consequences, the illusion starts to come apart.  When you find a way to take that a step closer and begin to see the world and all of its inhabitants in a new light, and begin to understand the language of love, your mind will simply be blown with all that has been right there in front of you the whole time.  Love masters the all of everything.  Fear takes it all away.  We have free will and can exercise it.  There really is no wrong or right in this method of learning…there is just the experiences in this life for you to uniquely have and learn to interpret.

There is so much to digest in letting your mind escape far beyond the limits and confines that is all you know and were taught growing up in this world.  We are not as limited as we think and to truly understand what that means, you must find the beautiful light and love filled stream that flows freely within you.  When you touch it, it is light, sweet and so powerful that it can not only change you but send beautiful ripples out into the world that touch others and create conditions for them to be more open to going in and finding it.  Love is the question and the answer.  We are Love = Love is One = We are One!

Letting Go

I’ve said this before so many times and yet the Universe in its infinite wisdom has seen fit to teach me a lesson.  The words, “Let go of your story,” are the words I’m talking about.  The guidance behind those words is not intended to make the wounded feel bad for their inability to let go of something traumatic.  It is guidance to help you make sure that you do not over-identify with your story, thus becoming a perpetual victim or poor me persona.  Those are dangerous addictions emotionally-speaking, that people unwittingly fall into.  We all have a painful story somewhere within us and it is perfectly okay to tell that story but the warning comes in when you have unwittingly become obsessed with that story.  That obsession is like the oil light on your car – a warning that there is something yet to be healed so you can let go of your story and live life free.

I don’t mean to scare you but let me tell you a little bit about the life of a poor me or perpetual victim.  It is filled with fear and is bleak and dreary.  They walk around powerless as they have given it [their power] away to the people or person who hurt them and they are stuck in a very painful place.  They do not need condescending words telling them to “just get over it.”  What these souls need is compassion, validation, someone to really hear them tell their story in every detail without judgment and then you can help them to let go.  You can help them to create a safe and loving place that enables them to take back their power and let go of the poor me or perpetual victim mentality.  If they cannot let go, they are forever seeking their power through other people via sympathy.  They can become the energy vampires you hear so much about in casual conversation.  They can become so over-identified with their pain that they become a strong magnet for more pain that will serve only to reinforce their powerlessness.  This is a very sad state.  Over time, this negative place creates a very thick and heavy wall that eventually separates these individuals from loved ones, family and friends.  When people have become so wounded, everything they see and perceive becomes a personal slight or insult where none is intended and depending on the depth of their wounds, they may seek revenge where they think they continue to be victimized.  They can become the very thing they feel victimized by.  It can create psychoses and all sorts of other health problems.  It is not a good state.  We all have choices to make in this world and we are making a choice when we hold on to pain.  It’s okay to feel pain and feel bad or even to have a pity party for ourselves.  That is how we integrate the emotion and begin the healing process.  Just don’t stay there if you desire to heal and feel better. 

The way out of this dreary state is seeking professional assistance.  If that is unavailable, there are other ways that one can pull themselves out.  On example is trying to understand the higher lesson in painful human interactions  - I mean, the positive take-aways and not the negative ones.  So, when the words, “Let go of your Story” come up, it is not intended to be an insensitive and invalidating stream of words.  It is merely a warning not to become overly imbalanced for any length of time by your pain.  Acknowledge the pain, accept it as if it were something very important, take great and gentle care of and then when you are ready, bless it and let it go.  When you can learn to validate yourself instead of always looking to validate your story in the outside world, the pain becomes easier to integrate into your life experience and then let go of.

 I’m writing to try to shed a little light on both sides of this…for the person in pain and the people around them.  When you haven’t walked a mile or so in someone’s shoes, it is hard to understand the depths and level of their pain.  The pain is very real to them.  So, before giving advice to just get over it, heal it and let go, withhold those words and opt for something a little more positive like, “In time, this pain will heal and I know you will be fine.”  This approach will let someone know that you care and will not invalidate their feelings.  Nothing is more insensitive and hurtful than to tell someone in a victim state that it is their fault, that they need to just heal and let go or to just get over it.  That is wholly unkind because you do not understand, necessarily, the environmental psychology of these souls – what lead them to this state.  Although the words are well meaning and you may be right, it does nothing to help someone in a victim state.  It actually just forces them deeper into their pain.  So, have some compassion, be careful of your words and see things through the eyes of love with empathy, compassion and hope.  I advise against sympathy because that also reinforces their pain and negative state. 

I think with a little compassion, understanding, knowing when we are making choices and trying to understand those choices, we open ourselves up to healing and helping others in a positive way as they journey through pain and recovery from trauma.  Blessings.

Pale Moon Rising - Random Thoughts

The weight of the world seemingly on my mind, just disappeared in an instant when I looked up and saw a huge pale moon rising in a faded blue sky.  I love it when the moon is full on the horizon because it seems like it's five times it's normal size.  The effect it has had on me all day today, even when I couldn't see it, was remarkable.  There is just something about moonlight.  It's silvery glow takes all the stress and worry or even frustration away.  It puts things back into perspective as its overwhelming sweet energy permeates my being.

I could sit here for hours in this quiet part of the evening.  The birds are settling in for the night, people occupied with dinner and chores after coming home for the evening.  I love this time of night.  I don't think there is really a time of day or night I don't absolutely love.  It took me a lifetime to get here or like my sudden fondness of winter...I've found in my 44th year of life that I love the winter, I don't mind the rain and gray skies can be just as beautiful as blue ones.  Everything is a matter of perspective I guess and tonight I've got a good one.

I've got a surgery coming up in a couple of days and that's just no fun.  Instead of getting carried away with the anxious thoughts, I'm sitting here in this delicious moonlight thinking of all the people I love, the friends I adore and every ray of sunlight and moonlight I've ever had the pleasure to experience.  We can so easily be caught up in the mayhem of negative and troubled thoughts.  When we train our minds to recognize the choices we make with our feelings, life takes on an almost ethereal glow.  Assumption never is an equal dance partner with truth.  Assumption is our own distorted perception of truth and nowhere near reality. Facts, on the other hand, are different and the only things we should allow our emotions to line up with and even then, we have a choice in how far we'll go and how long we'll hold them.  Believe it or don't, the choice is yours.  Me, I'm going back to this delicious moonlight, I'll contemplate the pure insignificance of my own existence in the scheme of reality as I know it and I'll smile just because I choose too.

I hope you all are enjoying this beautiful night.  Have blessed sweet dreams!

You'll Always Have You

We speak too often
Because we cannot stand
To face ourselves...
The secret self that lives on the inside.

We run too often
But we cannot hide
From the reality
And totality of who we really are.

We search
The world outside ourselves
To find the answers
That only ever lie within

Our search
Brings us always home empty,
Disheartened, lost...
Until we find that spark inside.

If we pay attention
It’s that spark
That peels away the layers
Of all that is illusive and unreal in this world.

Take the time
To know yourself,
To love yourself,
And trust yourself.

Don’t fear the silence,
Never fear the stillness,
No matter what you think you do not have,
You’ll always have you.

The Dog Days Are Over

All afternoon I watched these huge clouds rolling in, seemingly broken apart ever so slightly by beautiful pieces of gorgeous blue sky.  Some of the cloud cells were dark with water and dropped a gentle rain in long trailing gray patches you could see dotting the horizon.  The sunlight spilling down from the clouds seemed to be racing with the rain drops towards Earth as I sat in my office filled with crystals for sanity and chaos of just another typical day.  I was just stunned by the beauty.  When the sun dropped low on the horizon, the sunlight dancing around the edges of the clouds was jaw-droppingly beautiful…fiery deep orange, pink and purple etched every cloud in sight still broken in bits by fading blue sky. 

I turned the radio up to sing on the ride home.  The mood just struck me so I went with it with total abandon...”The dog days are over…” and then another, “sweet disposition…a moment a laugh...”  I was just in heaven seeing the gorgeous sky fill my view and listening to great tunes to sing to.  I didn’t even mind about the crazy southern California traffic.  The longer those cars took to inch home, the more time I had to enjoy this gorgeous sky and music and peace in my girlie nail polish colored pick up truck.  I thought to myself, I must be a sight – here I am in my forties, dancing in the drivers seat (sort of) while driving along singing-- not caring one bit what the elderly gentleman in the car next to me thought.  I caught him staring and flashed him a big smile and kept on singing.  You know I love getting older.  Maybe I won’t say that in 10 or 20 years from now but at my age now, 44, I love that I’ve come to a place in life where to be authentically me is okay.  I no longer fear repercussion for being who I really am.  I lived with my mom so cuss me out and call me names if you want, I’ll still look at you, roll my eyes and think, “amateur.” 

I could not begin to tell you the sheer emotional difficulty I’ve faced the last three years of my life and the little after-shocks that came trailing back to haunt me even just a few weeks ago.  I learned so much but mostly to appreciate the beauty before you and peaceful times when you have them.  Life isn’t always peaceful and it isn’t always beautiful.  But, no matter how hard the journey is, even when it feels like you’re walking barefoot, uphill in the dark on rocks and glass, this life is worth every cut, every bruise and every set back suffered.  Life is truly amazing especially when you recall the moments where it feels very NOT amazing.  The dichotomy teaches you a lot and if it teaches you nothing but withdrawal and distrust, get back out there and start living again.  There must be a nuance that you missed somewhere.  I’ve had it all and lost it all.  Had it again and lost it again.  But no matter what, I’ll always have me – comfortable for once in my own skin, at least for tonight.  That’s an amazing and wonderful miracle in and of itself.

Don’t fear your trials and pay attention just once to all of those crazy thoughts inside of your head.  In fact, make it an interesting assignment.  For the next 30 minutes, sit down and write down every thought inside of your head that attacks or undermines you.  Listen for them, they are there.  The words of every person who ever hurt you is creating lies and misery inside of your own mind.  In order to stop it, you have to first notice the pitch or drone of the hum of the lies.  Notice them, write them down and then throw away that piece of paper.  Now, when you hear the voice telling you all the lies that everyone else told you about you, laugh!  It’s all lies.  You are not what your mind describes you to be.  You are not stupid, you are not fat, you are not lazy, you are not anything but love.  Everything else inside that tells you that you are anything but love is just a lie.  Toss out the lies.  As Don Miguel Ruiz says, ignore them (Do check out his book The Voice of Knowledge).  You don’t have to replace the lies with anything. That’s just forcing your mind to think thoughts it doesn’t believe.  Just flat ignore the lies now that you know their pitch or drone.  Ignore them and go do something that makes you feel good to be in your skin.  Take a walk, drink a soda, have a piece of cake or chocolate, go look at the moon and stars, draw a picture, write a letter, play a video game, grab your partner and use your imagination…whatever it takes to put you back in touch with who you really are!  Its way different than the lies!  Truly.

There are just those moments when clarity strikes you and you can shrug off the awful yoke of acting like everyone thinks you should and you can be authentically you.  Those moments are life’s amazing treasures.  Enjoy them.  Love them.  Love YOU and appreciate your unique and wonderful nature.  Life is just too darned short to try to mold yourself into something that you aren’t.  So, be you…let your honor and integrity shine through the brightest, let your positive thoughts and smiles run free.  It feels good.  Try it.  Many blessings to you!

No More Envy/Jealousy - Only Love!

In the Bible, Deuteronomy 5:6–21, within the 10-Commandments is a line that reads: "Neither shall you covet your neighbor’s wife. Neither shall you desire your neighbor’s house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."  There is a lot of wisdom in our ancient texts.  This commandment is not a threat to make you comply with the edict or go to you know where.  Understand what the real message is behind this.  No matter how good you are or think you are, there will always be someone better than you.  No matter how beautiful you are, there will always be someone more beautiful than you.  No matter how much time you spend at the gym or with a personal trainer, there will always be someone more sculpted and toned than you.  This is a fact.  Now, knowing this, does this mean that you should in any way believe that people better, more beautiful, more sculpted, smarter and more successful than you takes anything away from who you are?  Absolutely not!  So, why allow thoughts inside of your head to negatively play and make you strive to be what you are not or cannot be?  It's pointless.  You are who you are.  Does that mean you have to accept yourself as a failure in comparison to people who are better than you?  Heck no!  What you have to do to be healthy and loving with yourself is learn to appreciate your own gifts, those things that are uniquely you that you bring to and share with this world!

Envy and jealousy are deadly things to self-love and are just wholly bad for you to behold.  This is the real reason this commandment was written.  It isn't necessarilly that it is wrong and you MUST avoid the topical application of this edict or fear repercussion...it is that it is bad for you to feel and think about.  Every individual has his or her own spark of divinity within.  We are all beautifully and wonderfully different from each other.  No one person is any more beautiful or special than the other.  We all bring something interesting and wonderful to the table.  We should be proud of that fact, comfortable with that fact and accepting of that fact rather than beating ourselves up because we are not taller, not blonde, don't have big breasts, large muscles, perfectly pouty lips, a thin body, a trophy wife or husband, a Ferrari in the garage, etc.  To give yourself over to the relentless pursuit of gaining material or other possessions to look good, or striving only to affect your outside appearance is like chasing an illusive and imaginary dragon.  It cannot be done and your efforts might gain you some ground but at a great cost to your soul.  Pursuing what everyone else has or trying to fit into someone else's mold makes you discount yourself.

Commercials and advertising always put out there some new and expensive way to make you more beautiful, more powerful and more wonderful on the outside.  Max out the credit cards for plastic surgery - now that is the way to true happiness, right?!  NOT!  If you cannot accept you for who you are, then what you pursue will always leave you empty.  Whenever we seek a superficial route of perceived perfection in look, in dress, in possessions, there will always be this nebulous emptiness pursuing you.  True happiness and beauty comes from within.  One of the most beautiful women I have ever seen was a woman probably in her sixties, over-weight, black and gray hair tied back but light shining in her eyes despite the wrinkles the years had brought her.  Walking with her were her grandchildren, laughing and playing and just to see her so wrapped up in a moment of enjoying their laughter - now that was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  Not to cheat the men, one of the most amazing men I've seen out in this world was a man somewhere in his 70's, walking with his wife by the beach, they turned from the pier and began walking on the street.  He put his arm on her back and switched sides so he could walk on the outside nearest the traffic.  He held her hand and smiled and in that, I saw one of the most amazing men ever.  He was not tall or handsome and he wore inexpensive clothes but he, to me, was absolutely amazing!

What I've described here that is most beautiful is the love that was shining from inside of people.  You cannot buy that from a plastic surgeon, a retail store or an auto-dealer.  That kind of beauty and wonder can only be found within.  The moment you are jealous of what someone else has, you have given away your power and your ability to stay in touch with the love and light within you.  The moment you allow envy to enter your thoughts, you have just told yourself you are nothing, less than and unworthy.  Those are not good and healthy thoughts for you and the more you hold negative thoughts the more those thoughts will act like a magnet to other negative thoughts and things in the universe.  Sometimes when we think so little of ourselves, people will sense that and they too may think little of us.  If we think we are unlovable as we are, how can anyone else give us the kind of love that really has lasting value?

Envy and jealousy are not wrong.  We have an ego that really promotes these things out of fear...fear that it will be abandoned, looked over and neglected or disparaged in some way.  But we can counter the fear of the ego by keeping always that flame of love within us burning brightly.  That flame of love ensures our well being and welfare from a more important place than the outside world. Envy and jealousy are hurtful thoughts to us.  Since we do not want to really hurt ourselves, we really should let go of such thoughts and not give them credence.  Admiration of others is different.  If you admire, you support in a healthy way.  I admire so many for the strength, adaptability, true love within, wisdom and intelligence.  I consider myself grateful to have such people in my sphere because I learn from them.  I have no need to be better them, beat them or drag them down.  I do not wish to be threatened by their presence, so choose not to be.   I want to see them succeed.  If I wish them only well and abundant and peaceful lives, what kind of magnetic energy am I putting out there?  I know in this world that there are women so much more  beautiful than I, with perfect teeth and bodies, desirable bodily attributes, beautiful hair and eyes...there are people out there more intelligent and successful than I but there is one thing I will not allow myself to do and that is feel bad that I am not as they are.  I will feel glad that I am who I am and for the unique gifts I bring to this life.  In this way, I'm free from chasing illusive dragons that will only ever really manifest pain and suffering in my life.

As we begin each new day, think more about self-love, self-acceptance and how you can be your own best cheerleader or coach every day and in every moment of your life.  Think about ways that you can demonstrate to you that you are important, that you matter and that you are successful in providing in this world your unique gifts that are worthy of admiration.  I'm not saying never try to improve yourself or to learn and grow.  I'm saying do so in a healthy and positive manner by striving for what is real and lasting and not for what is fleeting and shallow.  The reason?  Well, you'll live in this world a happier being and you'll send out miles of smiles all over this world and believe me, this world needs as much positivity as it can get.  I wish you a wonderful life!  I wish you Health!  I wish you Love!  I wish you Peace!  I wish you Happiness!  I wish for you the beginnings of all of your Dreams Coming True! ~Blessings

Gently

Life is sometimes an amazing mystery,
Treat it as if it were the rarest and most priceless gift.
Don't be afraid to be open.
Don't be afraid to be wrong.
And never be fearful of love.

Live your life out there,
In the best way that you can.
Who cares if you don't do this right.
Who cares if you don't do that perfectly.
The only one that has to live your life is you.

Spend some time getting to know the real you,
And worry less about who and what people tell you you are or should be.
Focus not on how to please everyone else,
But rather what makes you feel good about you...
From the inside out.

Don't waste time focusing on the past,
Your shortcomings or your perceived failures.
Instead think about the richness and beauty of the lessons you've learned
And know you only repeat those tough life lessons...
You chose to repeat.

Even if life sometimes seems unfair,
Know that there is a good reason for everything...
Even if you don't understand what that is.
The unfair things in life likely have nothing to do with you at all
But you can learn regardless.

Seek always to find the truth in what you face,
Don't make assumptions and align emotions with them.
Try always to see things through the eyes of love
Instead of from a state of worry, anxiety or fear.
Know that love can dispell the mists of fear every time.

Understand that through your hardships,
Not only do you learn and grow from the experience,
But so does everyone else around you.
Your sacrifices are not made for nothing.
Your life and the way you live it really does matter.

Go into the world fearless,
Know the love within you is always on your side.
Seek the truth always and speak it gently.
No matter what you do or say,
You are still a child of your Creator
             and you are never alone.