Be Still and Allow What is to Be

Seemingly unsettled somewhere deep in my bones, I cannot help but wish for a greater space of silence and stillness to just be.  Unfortunately, it seems this deeper desire competes with an unconscious one to become so busy, there is no time to think or just be.  Reality speaks in busied tones these days with too much to do and not near enough time to do it in.  Couple this with some unreasonable and unseasonable bouts of pain related to repetitive motion injury and gosh, life has become a bit challenging of late.  Were it not for the ability to slip into mindfulness and watch the play accepting and yet disconnected from the reactionary urges, I’d probably be quite mad about now.

The sky only begins to lighten the tiniest bit and my coffee sends up tiny swirls of steam into the cool coming in from my open window.  I used to want to figure everything out.  I’ve spent hours and hours in contemplation, writing as I go for some strange reason.  May it is that I have this hope that others who stumble upon my words will either know they are not alone in their noticings while they live or maybe I’ll run across someone who has already figured out what calls from seemingly, the center of my soul.  If I stop that thought I habitually think right there and ask myself to explain, I wonder what might come through.  So, let’s give it a whirl and see what happens.

So, my soul, most trusted essence of everything that makes me, me, what is it with this dichotomy of feeling both stasis and a continuing curiosity to figure things out?  What have you got to say or, maybe, what is it that you seek in this moment?

There is nothing that I seek for I only witness the goings on of this world connected and then disconnected simultaneously. This is no thing that I need – no thing that I want, I just am.  The dissatisfaction you feel is connected to regret, this sense of wasted time which is a very skewed perception of what you think it is that you see, have seen and will see but none of that truly means anything more than your meandering mind desiring to flex it’s muscle so-to-speak.  Let the mind roam, it will do no harm and through it, if you pay close attention to the feelings the process brings you, you may become aware of the things at your core – namely experiences and your judgmental perceptions of the experiencer that will call to your attention.  Within that attention you embody the whole and all of its component parts.  You can analyze with clarity each of the parts but you will be unable to calculate them into the whole.  A drop in the ocean cannot adequately define the whole of the ocean as it hasn’t the ability to see past itself in a see of same creation.

You can let your mind roam over the memories and years and concern yourself with your perception of time or you can move through it without such care except for that you most wish to focus upon.  We have no needs but to understand satisfaction, harmony, alignment; imperfect perfection.  The seeming dichotomies you face are not divisive but rather parts of a clock that perhaps move in different directions and yet the whole of the thing keeps perfect time.  No intervention is needed unless the clock that is your dream or life is the kind that needs winding or a battery.  Maybe you merely are in need of recharging and that is actually the center core issue that is your impetus for curiosity at this time.  Sometimes life is very simple and you merely over-think it.

So, now, slipping back into my normal thought process reigning in the mind to view what I’ve just written seems to make sense to me.  I understand and an automatic deep breath comes in and out freely as I read my way through sentences written without specific thought or direction.  The sky lights more and now the trees outside have returned in silhouette form to punctuate the darkness with outlines against the faint but expanding light.  The skies are gray yet this morning but the sun rises even if I can’t see.  Some say life is meaningless, others say there is nothing more meaningful than life.  What is it I believe?  I think, in this moment, my belief doesn’t matter.  Whether I dispute it or give it more energy to query, everything will be as it is.  Curiosity or complacency are on the same spectrum as is every other type or category of desire, emotion, even impetus.  I think I found satisfaction in a tiny little moment of freedom gained from letting it all go.  Maybe this series of random thoughts will make more sense as the day progresses.  Maybe they won’t.  Either way, still I breathe and still I hope and still I live.

Whatever it is you think should be will be.  Whatever it is you desire you will pursue.  There is nothing that you will do to prevent your own growth and progress on this journey that is your dream, your life in this place and space in time.  Be still and listen, be still and know, be still and take comfort.

 

  © 2016 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Restless

Oh is my spirit restless sometimes
So much to contemplate in every single moment
"Just be," they say
"Just breathe," they suggest
But sometimes, its just no use
We are human, fallible
And sometimes, we just need to feel
Whatever it is we feel
So, I accept how I feel in every moment
They're my emotions,
I know because I created them
And well, the whys will come in time I suppose
Until then I'll just move to the tune
Vibrating deeply within my soul
Would that I could be still in this moment
Attempting to stand underneath the blessed stars
I send my love up and out to each and every one
And they twinkle knowing just what to do
And I smile again
This moment will pass
And another will follow
And the seconds will turn to minutes and years
Distance from this moment will be
Perhaps by then I will have found the peace
From deep within the core of me
And I'll look back to this moment
I once spent restless
And I will be glad for it

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

The Space Between

The space between moments, heart beats, sounds, events and interactions...that precious space of balance and peace like those few precious moments between day light and night or when the night time gives way to a brand new day.  I love the spaces in between because it is in those times the mind is less occupied and the thoughts are easier to scatter into the wind.  We focus too much on things and expectations and we miss what is truly precious in this dream.  Have you ever sat still, breathed in deeply and easily, let go of every last thought and just drifted in the void of nothingness and everything-ness?  There is a rare beauty there to behold if you can manage it.  When there is no thought, when there is no one and not one single emotion tugging at your attention, consciousness becomes super real in the process of just being, you can feel what it is like to be you, in your body, letting the soul stretch out in pure bliss and love.

Just before sunset, I went for a walk with my daughter.  We headed over to the neighborhood elementary school so I could hit a tennis ball against the hand ball wall and so, of course, she could go swing on the play ground.  For twenty minutes I hammered a ball against a wall until every last bit of the day's stress had left me.  One last swing and my furry little yellow spherical friend flew over the wall.  I'm a little out of practice and realized I had a little ways to go to catch up to my ball.  I decided to walk slowly and just breathe in the blue sky and let my mind stretch out far and wide.  I heard the haunting clinking sound of the tether ball chains gently tapping the tether ball poles in a beautiful sea breeze.  The place looked desolate but I could feel the traces of energy left behind by children full of energy, laughing, playing and feeling their way through their normal day without a care.  I could feel people unseen walking and talking.  I just felt for the energy of the place and it was so serene and peaceful despite the energetic traces.  I also felt the souls no longer part of this world awaiting the right moment for the right medium to speak and I thought to myself, in time, in due time.

I retrieved my little yellow friend and decided it was time to join my daughter on the swing.  While I was hitting the ball she found a toy of sorts that made unusual but amazing music when she stood on it.  It was so beautiful and so much care did she place in her perfectly timed movements to create a song for me.  I smiled in delight and gave her a standing ovation for her very creative performance.  I even had her do it one more time for a special mommy video.  I so love those.  We laughed and talked the whole way home both of us elated just to be outside where there were no screens.  The whole world went away on our walk home and I was amazed at how philosophical a nine year old could be.  I smiled so happy in that moment.  We walked back home and she had just enough time to play with friends for a few minutes while I caught my breath from a good round of exertion.  I looked up and saw the most amazing sunset and I could feel that in between time coming.  I was elated still and now it's here and I'm contemplating existence, joy, love and the rest of the happenings in this amazing dream of mine.  Its really true what the sages all say, life IS TRULY what you make of it.  If you look for sadness, terror and tragedy, you'll find it in abundance.  If you look for love, joy, beauty and laughter, you'll find it in abundance.  I'm glad I looked for and found the latter.  I shall endeavor to hold these feelings until the stars come out and then some.  I pray you find a measure of peace, purpose and love in all of your endeavors dear souls.  You will.  I know it.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words).