Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Driving Into the Sun

I drove into the rising sun this morning and was stunned at the view.  A storm was slowly moving in and the first bank of storm clouds were heading towards the sun.  In mere moments, big gray clouds covered the sun and the amazing display of light that followed just put me into a dream-like state.  I watched in awe as big rays of sunlight fell to the Earth from the bottom of dark clouds and couldn’t help but notice at the same time the tops were becoming finely etched in an electric silver and gold surrounded by pale blue.  It was truly breath-taking.  I started thinking about life and what a real treasure it is to be alive here on Earth and to experience such amazing things as a beautiful sunrise.  My thoughts turned to memories of things that as I experienced them, seemed not so beautiful.  Now, however, even the really challenging and painful things all seemed to have an amazing purpose for me.  My understanding has expanded and pulled itself so far away from feeling victimized by anyone or anything from my past.  I realized that all of our lives are a series of scenes from a dream we get the privilege to experience.  We can understand the symbolism for what it is or we can choose with our thoughts to make things more dark, sinister and personal.  Well, some things are personal but with a little time and perspective, you can see how the personal part can be transformed from an egotistical moment of pain to something more akin to soul-level learning.

I don’t mean to diminish anyone’s experience or opinion about tragedy or pain.  First of all, it isn’t my place to judge and second, everyone has the right to free will which includes labeling and judging their experiences the way they choose to.  Mid-thought my mind drifted again to this light play in the sky before me.  The sky turned high-definition right before my eyes and the light mesmerized me and my mind wanted to move into a state of pure bliss at my view but I had to control it a bit while driving.  Bummer!  I wandered through so many memories in such a very short time.  I’ve seen death and I’ve seen life.  I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen tragic pain.  I’ve lived through chaos and found a way to return myself to serenity again and again.  I sometimes wonder how I could have ever found serenity.  But that thought quickly fades with the knowledge that there is something about me that never stops.  That one thing is a need for seeking higher understanding and meaning for every single experience I encounter.  Everything has a point and purpose and we can either pretend that’s not true or try to figure it out.  Life continues regardless but I tried the former and it never worked for me.  I could never shut off that need to understand for too long.  Gratefully, someone or something always seemed to push me to understand even when I thought I couldn’t figure it out.

As I began to understand the comedies and tragedies of my own dream here in the Earth school, I started to see my own hand in my unconscious creations.  I really began to understand that I was the author of the dream and I know me, if I created something – even if unconsciously – there was a good reason.  Amazingly, when you start to ask questions and look for answers, they’ll show up in abundance and in many forms.  People will cross your path with the perfect words at the right time…a song will play the moment you thought of a question and that song provides a random thought that helps you understand…even a letter or note may cross your path that begins to reveal the mystery of your unconscious creations.  It really is amazing.  But then, something else starts to happen.  When you ask questions and you begin to receive answers, you start to realize that it is you who creates the scenes of your life and with a little effort at remaining conscious of certain facts and motivations, you’ll see that you can consciously create in this world.  Conscious creation begins small and gradually turns to bigger and better things the more you get to know yourself, love yourself and trust yourself.  You’ll also start to realize this dream you are dreaming is perfect in all of its ups and downs, twists and turns and you really understand that every step you’ve ever taken was perfectly timed.   

My drive into the office seemed to take an eternity in 15 minutes.  I pulled into the parking lot and sat there watching the sun a few moments longer.  I made myself a promise right then and there.  The promise was this:  No matter what I encounter in life, I will always hold a deep appreciation and gratitude for all of my life’s experiences.  Even when times get tough – and they do or even when times feel amazing – and they do…I will be grateful for my life.  It’s simple and a promise that no doubt I will keep.  Life, to me, is an amazing gift.  I will use it well and not squander my time here losing sight of what really matters.  ~Blessings for your journey dear souls!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words/photo)

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