Half Moon Glistening

Half moon glistening,
Quietly rising in an indigo diamond filled sky.
I sit alone contemplative wishing to become part of the breeze...
Maybe just go with it and see where it takes me.

The sounds of the night,
Are such a comfort to a weary soul.
Crickets chirping, birds settling in until the dawn.
People in shiny metal boxes moving around.

The world seems a strange place tonight.
I feel of this world and not...
For reasons I can’t quite understand or articulate.
I can only be here now in this moment.

I feel my heart beating.
Inside my body it’s warm.
It radiates outward from the space I occupy.
It exists as real as anything else so why do I feel unreal?

My thoughts are rolling,
Thick and heavy like the coastal clouds coming in.
The air now tinged with salty moisture...
Cools me to the core of my soul.

I wish I could say it was an interesting time,
But it is no more so than any other.
People are living and breathing and dying right now...
Fighting for their lives, their sanity and to be free.

I noticed a beautiful cerulean sky today.
I watched the birds and butterflies in flight.
I felt an ache in my soul for a lesson in progress.
It’s heavy and requires some more time to carry.

I reflect on mistakes and shudder a moment,
Then quickly stop realizing those mistakes don’t define me.
Those actions merely tell me who I'm not...
And I turn off the self-loathing before it begins.

I’m not sad and not happy...
I’m floating near weightless,
In conscious thoughts feeling unconscious emotions.
It’s hard to be human and hard to have a heart.

But the world isn’t all drudgery.
It’s filled with love if you know how to find it.
You don’t look under a rock or a tree or a bushel.
You don’t demand it from family or friends and strangers.

You reach deep down inside,
To the pit of your being, you notice a small flame flickering there.
You realize that flame comes from a Source,
The only true Source, love.

So how can I reconcile all that I’ve learned?
I don’t think I can without doing some more exploring.
I can’t tell you anything about the meaning of life,
I’ve been struggling daily just to live it.

I’m not suicidal, don’t take my words wrong.
I’m a realistic optimist who knows what hurts,
But who knows also how to hope,
And I know how to live and do it well.

I come back to myself.
I empty my thoughts.
I sit here alone in the dark and I cry a little.
When the emotion of sadness has washed over my soul...

I stop there and smile...
From my soul I begin to laugh.
The world is continuously tumultuously churning,
From the physical core to all its inhabitants.

The best you can hope for is some understanding.
The least you should count on is any love from without.
Then take each step each day you awaken...
On the path you’re on, the one that is your life.