When I'm Ready

I walk alone under storm clouds
It’s cold and its damp
I pull up my coat collar
To defend against the chill

Gusting winds cut right through me
And the air turns colder when the shore is in view
The sand is wet and the sky so dark
A torrential down-pour imminent

In silence I notice the stark scenery
The absence of people off congregating with family and friends
The beach is empty today and I prefer it
It’s just me and a few others like me needing a temporary escape

It’s Christmas Eve day and I’m supposed to be working
But my heart isn’t in it
I’ve lacked attention and focus
For days on end

My mind wanders backwards
Over the past few weeks
Like a whirlwind he blew into my life
And in a short time nearly swept me off my feet

I knew our time would be short before it began
But I didn’t know it would leave me feeling like I do
In the present I miss him so damn much
I think it’s worsened by not knowing when I’ll see him again

I return to my surroundings
The rain drops pulling back my focus
To the reality of this moment
Standing there on the shore in spite of the storm

I’m not afraid of it
I don’t care if it gets me
As long as I can feel my feet on the ground
I’ll make my way back home again when ready