There is certainly no shortage of information on Anxiety,
some of it good and helpful and some of it, a pure waste of time. According the Anxiety and Depression
Association of America, “6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S.
population...” suffer anxiety and “Women are twice as likely to be affected as
men.” (Source: http://www.adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics) From the same website, the following
statistics are offered:
- Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness
in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18
and older (18% of U.S. population).
- Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only about
one-third of those suffering receive treatment.
- Anxiety disorders cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a
year, almost one-third of the country's $148 billion total mental health
bill, according to "The Economic Burden of Anxiety Disorders," a
study commissioned by ADAA (The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 60(7),
July 1999).
- More than $22.84 billion of those
costs are associated with the repeated use of health care services;
people with anxiety disorders seek relief for symptoms that mimic
physical illnesses.
- People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times
more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be
hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from
anxiety disorders.
- Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors,
including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.
Anxiety is like an invisible broken
leg. When you walk around in a cast and
crutches, people are often sympathetic and concerned, “Oh, goodness, what
happened? Do you need any help? When do
you get the cast off?” When you suffer
anxiety, people look at you like, “And?
So? Get over it. What are you
afraid of? Just ditch the fear and stop
worrying.” Anxiety is complex in
nature. Some of it is triggered by pure
psychology and some of it is triggered by pure biology. Some of it is free-floating and of unknown
etiology. Some individuals are fortunate
enough to get help but many do not or cannot.
Unfortunately today, our lives are set up for anxiety to thrive spinning
our poor Autonomic Nervous System and it’s sub-process, the Sympathetic Nervous
System, into over-drive with multi-tasking, taking on too much for a sense of
success, peace or happiness that for some is just not achievable. If you are one of the brave ones who steps up
and seeks treatment, you’re even treated ignorantly by the medical
community. “Here just take these
anti-depressants” (that have little effect more above cognitive behavioral
therapy) “or these tranquilizers to get you through it” and oh my goodness,
never tell a soul that you are in treatment with medication therapy because you
will be barraged with negative judgment and not one ounce of compassion from
anyone but a trained psychiatrist who knows how to truly help you.
There are so many recommendations for
anxiety that are generally beneficial such as getting enough rest, exercise,
eating right and well, learning coping skills, seeking treatment for triggers,
supplements, yoga, meditation and a whole host of other things. For many, any number of these things is
helpful and useful in minimizing the dreaded effects of anxiety. Anxiety feels horrible to those who suffer
it. I know, because I am one. I have lived with anxiety since the onset at
about age 27 (interestingly, not long after I suffered a concussion). Now, given the life I have
lived and the things I do now, it is entirely understandable for me to suffer bouts of
anxiety but it isn’t easy. What makes
things so much worse is when well meaning people give you advice – do this or
that. Gee wow, I’ve only tried that a
hundred times already, I don’t care for SSRI’s that are supposed to be the
God-send for anxiety suffers because they actually make me feel worse than the
anxiety and the only thing that cuts off that anxiety for me aside from
steering clear of over-stimulating activities, is a certain tranquilizer that
doesn’t give me a buzz but helps control the symptoms of intense anxiety.
So, living with anxiety is the only
choice we really have. Whatever we
resist persists. Believe me, I’ve tried
to ignore anxiety, I’ve tried conventional and non-conventional treatments and
supplements and frankly, I’m sick to death of pseudo-science. All I want as a sufferer of anxiety is to
prevent the episodes and get them as quickly into remission as possible before
they trigger other ugly things like insomnia, depression and burn-out symptoms
from just the normal activities of daily life.
They don’t tell you this but anxiety hurts. No really, it physically hurts. I truly feel for those with anxiety and
depression trying to find ways to get healthy and their symptoms into remission. Sometimes some never get that break.
Fortunately, I do. I have sought out
treatment and am unafraid to speak of my experiences. I don’t care for the backlash of judgment I
get from the purely uneducated on the topic but in the end, that is really about them and
not me.
So, living with anxiety. How on Earth do you do that with any measure
of success? Well, it takes a lot of
patience and a lot of time. If there is
a specific source to your anxiety, go get help identifying it and see if you
can cure it at its core. If you need
medication to do that, do and think nothing of it. Do what works for you but do try, if you can
to avoid self-medicating with alcohol or illegal drugs. They will put you into
this death spiral of addiction that will leave you in much worse shape. I think some of the keys to living with
anxiety are learning about the things that trigger you and minimizing those
things to the extent practical for you.
Finding the things that get the Parasympathetic Nervous System (think
rest and digest) running optimally is a good thing to do. The Sympathetic Nervous System (think fight
or flight) pumps out chemicals that are longer lasting. When you get the
adrenaline pumping, you need a good 20 minutes of effort to cut off the thoughts
or the trigger so your Parasympathetic Nervous System chemicals can return to
normal and can function again by compensating and counteracting those chemicals. Your body is truly built in an amazing way to
resolve its own issues. Trusting it to work as it is supposed to if even aided
by medication or counseling is really important. Getting exercise and enough rest cannot be
stressed enough! If work is tough, take
some time off. If there are people in
your life driving you crazy, set boundaries or get them out of your lives. If there are thoughts in your own mind
driving you crazy, go talk to someone who can help you sort out the thoughts,
reprogram your thinking in a healthier fashion and get to work focusing on the
good things you do, your accomplishments and the things you are most grateful
for.
Living with anxiety is tough. It’s tough at so many levels. It interferes with everything – work,
relationships as well as every day living.
Some like to flippantly say “You just need to get rid of the fear, relax,
stop worrying so much, and you’ll be fine.”
Well, see, not all of us live in fear even if we do worry about the
things we must manage. We live perfectly normal lives and yet anxiety persists
free-floating. So, anxiety isn’t a fun
thing to deal with but you can live with it, you can have a good life and you
can learn to cope if you are willing. I
suffer anxiety. Sometimes it is so bad,
I will flat pass out from overload. My
system then acts just like an overloaded computer and reboots. I come out of it and life goes on just fine
and the rest of the day is just peachy.
I don’t fear panic attacks and I don’t fear my anxiety. My anxiety sometimes veers into depression
but I don’t fear that either. There is
always a light at the end of the tunnel and just because I cannot see it I
won’t despair thinking it isn’t there. I
believe half the battle of coping with anxiety is knowing the episodes won’t
last. You won’t feel bad forever. The same
is true for me with depression. I see
depression as my body’s way of dealing with the things that it needs to deal
with. When it hits, I sleep, take care
of myself, be ever so kind to myself with my thoughts and well, life returns to
normal within a few days or weeks. The
same is true with anxiety.
The one interesting thing I’ve noticed
is that as I age, my anxiety gets worse.
I have the same work stress and life stress I’ve always managed with
superhero effort. However, my body
resists that now. My body sends me a
message through anxiety that it is time to make some changes. Some can be readily made and some must be
made with longer-term implementation plans…but, this is coping. This is living
with anxiety. For those who don’t suffer
it, we’d all appreciate it if you’d stop telling us we just need to do more of
something that triggers our anxiety. This
concept does not work for everyone. For
me – flying and public speaking never changes from a strong escalation of
anxiety. For years I have given
presentations and have flown and the anxiety sucks the life out of me every
time and not just for the first few moments.
It takes me out for at least a day.
But I still do these things. Not
as often as I am all about reducing stressful things. Not avoiding but reducing to give myself
space to feel calm and peaceful. It isn’t
easy and requires the willingness to work at things, thoughts, behaviors and
actions that contribute to an unhealthy cycle.
But it can be done. I live with anxiety every day. I do not fear death, illness, age, people or
situations. I’m a happy, well-balanced
and thoughtful individual that contributes to society as much as I can every
single day and that feels great even if the underlying anxiety humming in the
background makes me feel like I’m choking at times. I’ve been getting help since age 27 and it
seems to get worse, as I said, the older I get.
I won’t give in but at the same time I won’t resist it. I get anxious. I’m anxious now but I’m writing anyway and I
do what I want to do, anyway. I’m
letting people in on something very personal that I’ve mostly kept hidden. I decided to write about this topic so that
others like me who have suffered know it isn’t a fate worse than death. I want YOU to know that you too can find ways
to live with anxiety, find something that works for you with medication or DIY
type healthy activities. I know that we
suffer for whatever reason we suffer but we don’t have to let it define who we
are. It’s our bodies and minds that are
affected but our consciousness is not and we can contribute to society with our
presence here anxious, depressed or both or not. If there is anything I think that helps
anxiety more than anything else that exists, it’s support. Having supportive and understanding people
around you make a world of difference.
I don’t care for parties, concerts,
flea markets or malls. I do not fear
public places or people but find the energy of it exhausting. So, my loved ones know this about me and we
find ways for me to cope while I can still participate in outings with the
family. I will always prefer a peaceful
walk in nature rather than the mall but when I do go to these places, I focus
on what I find beautiful. I look at the
babies, I look at the architecture, I look at the landscapes, I look at the
sky, I try to find art, I notice the smells that are wonderful and try to
ignore the cacophony of too many voices chattering all at once. I’m also an energy sensitive and this may
very well be what contributes the most to my anxiety. When I’m off work for a few days and can
chill at home writing, painting or catching up on some documentaries, my
anxiety is zero or near zero. So, for
me, I truly believe it’s an energy thing.
I’m an introvert because I truly love peace. I don’t need to be overly stimulated by
anything to be happy. Flip on the classical
music or even new age meditative stuff and life is dreamy good. The way to cope as I’m pointing out here is
that you need to do what you need to do to get through your life, get trained
assistance, get the right support from family and friends and find the spaces
and places in life that make you feel good.
If you look for them, you’ll find them.
Sometimes you must take on many coping mechanisms and that’s okay. It’s okay to have anxiety. It doesn’t make you a mental monster. It just means you are human and some of us
humans have to deal with things like anxiety or depression and some other
disorders.
None of these things can take away the
true value of your existence here and your existence here does add value to the
whole. Never forget that. I don’t.
Even when I am feeling at my worst, I don’t forget how much I do to try
to make life better for others, to notice how magical and beautiful nature is
and how truly wonderful human beings are when they are in a loving and
compassionate state. I make it a point
to surround myself with loving people.
This has meant the most to me.
God bless my partner, my children, my friends and even my little furry
four-legged friend Zacky Midnight (the little black kitty we rescued 11 years
ago). They bring me so much joy and
peace even when I am at my wits end with stress. Enough of my rambling for now. I hope I’ve brought you some helpful food for
thought with my little rant on anxiety.
Anxious people deserve love and respect like everybody else. We thrive with support and wilt under
labeling and callous ‘get over its,’
FYI. I hope you are having an
amazing day no matter what you face.
Even if anxious, have strong faith in yourself to manage and cope. You can do this and if you need help, don’t
feel bad about it not one bit. Ignore
the judgments of family and friends who do not understand and know above all
else, you are not alone. There are
plenty of us out there who know what you go through and there is hope. Faith in yourself is better for you to hold
than just hope alone in my opinion but that’s just my opinion. Blessings.
© 2015 Jaie Hart
