Thursday, April 26, 2012
I watched storm clouds roll in last night off the coast. They were huge white clouds that appeared to be rolling and tumbling like waves onto the shore. For a brief moment, I watched a large mushroom shaped cloud with tendrils hanging all the way to the ground. I had never seen anything like it in my life and then suddenly it disappeared and reformed into a typical cloud right before my eyes. I was immensely grateful since I was driving right into it. It was a good feeling knowing the instability was calming as I was headed into that situation. It reminded me of my life. So often have I seen very tense and seemingly untenable situations on the horizon only to head right into it seeing that it’s not so bad and definitively NOT insurmountable. I spent most of the rest of the late day and evening watching the clouds—winds of change carving and shaping clouds into miraculous pieces of temporary art. It was quite beautiful. When the sun finally dipped over the horizons, the sky was just absolutely amazing. I wanted to head down to the coast but sadly, I was just too tired to make the trip. It’s been a very long seeming couple of weeks with time barely seeming to move. I think that when that happens, it’s time to pay attention.
The past year has flown by for me in a day and I had gotten used to it and suddenly, time slows down and I feel, hear and see things differently. That has been part of my goal of late – to see things not as I ‘think’ they are but as they truly are. I see the themes in my own life, the ones that repeat and I realize they repeat because I have not yet seen the truth. The universe in its infinite wisdom brings me opportunity after opportunity to see the truth and so I go within to understand at a much deeper level why? What is it that I have unconsciously created? What is it that I fail to see time and time again? These questions are a very good place to start. However, rather than seek to beat myself up for those things I have unconsciously created in the past, I will shift my focus onto what I wish to consciously create…the real truth. I think the only thing I can come back to and feel on solid ground about is that if nothing else, I can stand in my own light…not the shades others attempt to paint for me…but in my own light. As much as I have unconsciously created in my world, others have also participated unconsciously creating and now that I look back, I see so much so very differently. It brings me hope and comfort. It is as if I meet myself in the light of truth for the very first time and now, now I can let go of the assumptions I have held as truth for far too long. When you can stand in your own light, bravely…courageously…and completely unafraid to see the truth about you and use the love within you to see the truth about others, things, situations well…Well, it changes something within you.
I come back to my memory of the clouds again and see them perfectly formed. I see the ragged lines joined to perfectly painted opalescent soft lines that expand and grow the moment I focus my attention on them. I am reminded in the sky right in front of me a truth I have always known but misapplied many times. What you focus on…the thoughts you hold inside of you about what you see—these are the seeds from which what you plant will grow and flourish. It’s a beautiful design and so perfectly tuned to each soul as they dream and create within this larger dream we call life. I stand under the same sky today and I see not a single cloud but the rays of the rising sun. I am at peace and it is those thoughts I shall hold close and in clear focus today. The truth is, I am the creator of everything in my world and I have designed everything perfectly and in just the way I most needed things to be. Now, I understand. As a new day dawns I find an interesting freedom that blows through my soul. I stand in awe. Blessings dear souls. May you find the truth within you, be courageous enough to face you and find the strength always to stand in your own light!
(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a beautiful random internet find)