Saturday, February 18, 2012
At 2:30 a.m. this morning my eyes popped open and I no longer wanted to sleep. I laid there in the darkness for quite some time discerning whether I wanted to return to sleep or if I wanted to allow my mind free reign to roam. I decided on the latter and am grateful. I set about creating my morning coffee ritual, turned on a great song, Tool – Reflection, and just let my thoughts go as I gazed up at my beautiful twinkling friends in a beautiful dark night sky. I got to thinking about the darkness and how often we think of darkness as something we must dispel or eradicate. Watching the stars this morning, I realized how grateful I was for the darkness. Without it, I could not see this amazingly beautiful canopy of light above me. It would still exist but I couldn’t see it and feel it stir my soul as well.
I love things that stir me at the level of the soul. For reasons I can’t always articulate, I appreciate life most when my thoughts run deep below the surface. Like a breeze that’s always blowing as the Earth is turning and moving through space, so are my thoughts. They never stop and I’m never afraid to let them go where ever it is they will. In quiet moments such as these, I find I’m grateful for the ability to loosen the chains of convention and entertain wild and unimaginable thoughts about existence, what is really going on behind the scenes. We’re not taught how much things in life matter. When we are trapped in egotistical thinking day in and day out, we never live deep enough to bring about a true satisfaction with life. There is no lasting satisfaction with your latest purchase or impressing someone. But there is lasting satisfaction when you spend your time understanding yourself and what is really happening behind the scenes of everything.
Life has great purpose. Your life has great meaning even when you can’t consciously wrap your mind and your thoughts around precisely how this is true. It is true. You came here because you wanted to. There was something about this place, the Earth School, that drew you in and compelled you to dive in and learn…so, what are you learning? Is it positive? Is it negative? Do you know why? Did you know that you create what you see or that feelings are real whether or not they are based on true facts? We don’t spend enough time understanding things until we begin to feel bad and then when we begin to feel bad, we start to seek escape through so many of life’s distractions – alcohol, work, over-committing our schedules, relationships, drama, drugs and so many other things. But, what if we just sat with emotion and felt it with the intent to truly understand it’s purpose? Our feelings can be the most amazing teachers in our lives. If we but took a single moment to sit with our feelings and understand them and how they came to be, we could unlock so many mysteries for ourselves.
Life is just so amazing to me. All of the delicate intricacies of existence…physics, science, human relations and nature…these are some of the most amazing tools in existence to help us understand what life is about. But, we have to be willing to see. We have to be willing to learn. Once we begin to learn all of the languages of existence, there is so much we can do to create amazing things in our lives. I want that for you, all of you for no other reason than it would bring so much love and joy into this world. This world can be such a tough place to exist in but when you take the time to understand its purpose…your purpose, your life can and will change for the better. I pray that your hearts, minds and eyes open to a new and amazing way to live here now. I pray you find the deepest meaning and love possible. ~Blessings for a beautiful weekend dear souls!
(photo copyright unknown)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I drove into the rising sun this morning and was stunned at the view. A storm was slowly moving in and the first bank of storm clouds were heading towards the sun. In mere moments, big gray clouds covered the sun and the amazing display of light that followed just put me into a dream-like state. I watched in awe as big rays of sunlight fell to the Earth from the bottom of dark clouds and couldn’t help but notice at the same time the tops were becoming finely etched in an electric silver and gold surrounded by pale blue. It was truly breath-taking. I started thinking about life and what a real treasure it is to be alive here on Earth and to experience such amazing things as a beautiful sunrise. My thoughts turned to memories of things that as I experienced them, seemed not so beautiful. Now, however, even the really challenging and painful things all seemed to have an amazing purpose for me. My understanding has expanded and pulled itself so far away from feeling victimized by anyone or anything from my past. I realized that all of our lives are a series of scenes from a dream we get the privilege to experience. We can understand the symbolism for what it is or we can choose with our thoughts to make things more dark, sinister and personal. Well, some things are personal but with a little time and perspective, you can see how the personal part can be transformed from an egotistical moment of pain to something more akin to soul-level learning.
I don’t mean to diminish anyone’s experience or opinion about tragedy or pain. First of all, it isn’t my place to judge and second, everyone has the right to free will which includes labeling and judging their experiences the way they choose to. Mid-thought my mind drifted again to this light play in the sky before me. The sky turned high-definition right before my eyes and the light mesmerized me and my mind wanted to move into a state of pure bliss at my view but I had to control it a bit while driving. Bummer! I wandered through so many memories in such a very short time. I’ve seen death and I’ve seen life. I’ve seen joy and I’ve seen tragic pain. I’ve lived through chaos and found a way to return myself to serenity again and again. I sometimes wonder how I could have ever found serenity. But that thought quickly fades with the knowledge that there is something about me that never stops. That one thing is a need for seeking higher understanding and meaning for every single experience I encounter. Everything has a point and purpose and we can either pretend that’s not true or try to figure it out. Life continues regardless but I tried the former and it never worked for me. I could never shut off that need to understand for too long. Gratefully, someone or something always seemed to push me to understand even when I thought I couldn’t figure it out.
As I began to understand the comedies and tragedies of my own dream here in the Earth school, I started to see my own hand in my unconscious creations. I really began to understand that I was the author of the dream and I know me, if I created something – even if unconsciously – there was a good reason. Amazingly, when you start to ask questions and look for answers, they’ll show up in abundance and in many forms. People will cross your path with the perfect words at the right time…a song will play the moment you thought of a question and that song provides a random thought that helps you understand…even a letter or note may cross your path that begins to reveal the mystery of your unconscious creations. It really is amazing. But then, something else starts to happen. When you ask questions and you begin to receive answers, you start to realize that it is you who creates the scenes of your life and with a little effort at remaining conscious of certain facts and motivations, you’ll see that you can consciously create in this world. Conscious creation begins small and gradually turns to bigger and better things the more you get to know yourself, love yourself and trust yourself. You’ll also start to realize this dream you are dreaming is perfect in all of its ups and downs, twists and turns and you really understand that every step you’ve ever taken was perfectly timed.
My drive into the office seemed to take an eternity in 15 minutes. I pulled into the parking lot and sat there watching the sun a few moments longer. I made myself a promise right then and there. The promise was this: No matter what I encounter in life, I will always hold a deep appreciation and gratitude for all of my life’s experiences. Even when times get tough – and they do or even when times feel amazing – and they do…I will be grateful for my life. It’s simple and a promise that no doubt I will keep. Life, to me, is an amazing gift. I will use it well and not squander my time here losing sight of what really matters. ~Blessings for your journey dear souls!
(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words/photo)