Saturday, October 13, 2018
It seems that no matter what statement you make, even if you are expounding upon your most profound discovery on this Earth, there will be those who can argue against it and undo all of your glorious thoughts. What does this mean? How can it be that no matter how much thought we put into something, someone else can always find fault with it and see your beautiful creation as an ugly and twisted abomination you should be ashamed of? Okay, well that was a bit harshly worded but do you get the point? You can’t even take in the tiniest glimpse of well intended posts on social media without seeing simple statements or even people torn to shreds or, if nothing less, your grammar will be ripped apart if fault cannot be found in the words you use.
I’ve been quiet for a while now. Quietly observing as life flows beautifully and perfectly into time and space and I’ve been on to something for quite a while now. It isn’t some wholly miraculous discovery and even if it were, I wouldn’t post about that. This, this is something so much simpler. We have great minds amongst us that have already so generously explained the thoughts I’m thinking and in fact, I owe them a debt of immense gratitude for pointing the way to discerning the truth, the way to pull back the dark curtain of frustration and disdain or awe and surprise as I witness all of the interactions in my life. It’s simply this: We cannot perceive truth, no matter what we go through, grow through or experience. We just can’t. The reason we can’t has as much to do with environmental psychology (nurture) and those things we were spiritually born to do as well as the filters through which we view life as has been passed along to us through the genes of our ancestors (nature).
Why does this matter? Well, in a way it doesn’t matter at all. We have the free will to choose how we will perceive even the tiniest words we hear, or read. It doesn’t even matter how those words were strung together, it doesn’t even matter who brought the words to life, you will perceive them as the filters embedded within the very heart of you dictates. You can listen to anything you want to and see all the horrors and possible ugliness or you can listen and see all the beauty and goodness. It is a choice. You can argue that point and it won’t change the truth of it. You can argue that feelings are true but even then, you’d have to get into mind numbing explanations and hair splitting over the true definition of feeling versus emotion. You can check out with “it is what it is” sort of thinking and move on. You’d get no judgment from me there. I think, however, once you truly grasp the essence of this understanding, your life will change. You may lose the need to argue, to be right or to be best because you’d know all are doing the best within the beautiful creation of their lives. We can judge something ugly when we are not in a good place. We can judge something beautiful when we are in a good place. Does either place matter? Is either place real? At least at a certain level, I don’t think so.
I’ve tired of words so much, I can’t write like I used to. I just don’t feel the need to explain how to do things, how to be right or how to save the world. I no longer feel it needs saving and that statement may net me some discouraging responses but it is still my perception and no matter how right you may believe you are, how loudly you expound upon the lies I’m telling myself, you cannot change my experience. You do not have that power over me. But, I have the power to change my own experiences, perceptions, thoughts, judgments and to at least begin to understand what isn’t the truth. Is it true that short or bluntly worded email I just received proves I’m worthy of disrespect? Is it true the fact that this person or that person hasn’t reached out to me means I’m not important to them any more? Is it true that if someone doesn’t do what I want them to do, behave as if I think they should behave or that they didn’t take my side that I am unworthy of love or stupid? Maybe. If, I choose to see it that way, that will be my experience and that is how I will line up my emotions if I choose to expend energy on that. I can choose to experience so many hurtful things if I put my mind to it and I have a fantastic imagination! I can also choose to experience peace, joy and happiness without depending upon another soul on this Earth to give me that. I can experience respect by respecting myself, respecting nature, and others. I can experience love if I simply love myself, with my faults, and even my beliefs. I can experience gratitude if I appreciate the creativity of the minds and hearts all around me whether or not their thoughts and feeling align with my own.
It took me so long to learn these things. I like to live and let live but not when it comes to my beliefs, whether long held or newly acquired. My beliefs are nothing but a collection of my experiences filtered through environmental psychology and those things I have the aptitude to see and feel exactly as I do, wrong or right. I don’t put too much stock into my beliefs any more because I didn’t necessarily form them from a position of truth from the deepest part of the witnessing-life-me. So, I’m open to having my beliefs challenged but I won’t argue. You can point to each one of my beliefs and tear them apart, you can tear me apart and even if I struggle with the pain of that momentarily, I will always recover and come back to a neutral state of observance, understanding and compassion. If I can know and understand my filters and perceptions, then you must know that I see straight through to the very heart of yours. Any praise or insult, I can see the source of and none of it has anything to do with me.
It’s funny and most often, amazing to me how we are all shrouded with this collection of environmental psychology, genetic predisposition and spiritual perception. These things form the mask that is how we present ourselves to the world (or who we might think we that we are). But that isn’t the truth of us. What is the truth of you without the use of your words or the words of others defining you? Ask yourselves this with an earnest openness and you will discover something beautiful, well, hopefully. And, should you discover it hold on to your hat because whoa! You’ll start to see it in everyone else. I hope it makes you smile like it did me. I hope it brings you greater love and acceptance as it did me.
I don’t want to argue, I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to run from or ignore conflict. But, when I experience it and see it, I no longer react to the superficial nature of it - at least, not for long. Rather, I see it and its source, understand it from a place there are no words to describe and I stand in complete awe and appreciation for existence…every beings’ efforts to walk through this life. It isn’t easy and it is imperfectly perfect. To me, simply put -beautiful. Blessings of beautiful discoveries to all of the amazing creators we walk through this life with. May you seek and find the most authentically, life-witnessing-you!
© 2018 Jaie Hart