Saturday, April 14, 2012
Finding the Lies Within (Yeah - They Exist)
We run across so many things in our daily lives that we discount or give attention to in a negative way. Let’s face it, we all have our wounds from our past experiences and well, we always seem to run across someone or something that exposes those wounds. We react then in anger, with great effort for defense or sometimes – if we’re really in a bad way, vengeance. Oh the nature of the ego and it’s wondrous machinations. We live our lives this way on auto-pilot and what is so ironic is that unless you get to the core of the wounds, it doesn’t matter how far away you push those people who bring your wounds to the surface or how much effort you put into avoiding those types of people, like the Whack-a-Mole game, they will only crop up again and again and again. After a while, you may become tired at beating all of these wound reminders down and wonder what you are doing to contribute to this painful array of experiences. Do you want to know what you are doing to create this? Are you ready? It’s really simple. When you have unhealed wounds, you are putting out a specific vibration to draw to you people who have similar or complementary wounds. The soul purpose and yes, there is a “soul-purpose” to it, is to get you to look at your wounds and find the truth about their cause. We make so many assumptions about our wounds and the people we blame for creating those wounds. Oh the lies we tell ourselves unwittingly!
But, you can sort it all out and learn to stop the reacting and painful exposure points. Its going to take a lot of courage and a lot of self-love to get there but it can be done. A friend of mine sent me a message once that said something like, “If another takes issue with you, rather than launching into an egotistical defense that only preserves the lie deep inside of you, further protecting the wound, sit down with that person and ask them to list all of your shortcomings and failures." I know, “GULP!” Yeah, it does take a very strong constitution to do this and it is the hardest spiritual work of your life. But the thing is, you do it because there is an outcome or theme in your life you are tired of listening to like that old Shaun Cassidy Album when you were younger (okay, I know I just dated myself). So, seek out your failings and be unafraid to face them. Those who exploit your wounds may have their own issues and you will not really be able to properly judge them because you are wounded and reacting to them getting your goat in some way so I suggest something totally crazy.
Thank them for pointing out your failings. I know that might make the ego incredulous beyond belief but there is something good in that feeling of incredulous (i.e., a message from your soul you have a very big wound that needs your attention). Be grateful someone has taken the time to point out to you your failings. I’m not suggesting you have to own them (such as in the case of psychological transference or projection which does happen but that's an article for another blog post) but rather be aware of the perceptions of others. If there are themes from others in terms of having your failings cited frequently, chances are there is something to what is being said, like it or not. Only through doing your internal homework will you come to understand what is going undetected (thanks Ron for putting your unique words to this).
Oh, I know the ego is going into total recoil and rejection at this moment considering such a heinous thing as thanking someone who has just seemingly insulted you or who has made you angry. Think about this, what have you told yourself about someone elses words or actions that makes you angry? Did you even realize it is you and what you tell yourself that makes you hurt, angry, miserable or sad? It’s true. So challenge your own head and assumptions. Don’t create a reason around what people do or say. Don’t analyze outwardly, it won’t get you anywhere but trapped inside the victim/villain mentality. Instead, internalize and ask yourself, “What am I telling myself about what I’m hearing or experiencing in this situation or with so-and-so, is what I think really true and am I 100% certain that my perception and what I’m telling myself is the truth definitively.” We like to think that if our mind or ego tells us something, it must be the truth because it’s coming from inside of us (don Miguel Ruiz is spot on with this concept- do check out his work for more detail). That just is not the truth. Feel your way to the truth by focusing on how your body feels, how does your spirit feel, step back into the observer within you and attempt to be objective as possible. If you can do the "understanding the whole truth" work inside to clear up your own perceptions and illusions, you will begin to heal you, you then will naturally change your vibration, and then you will invite different kinds of people to you to experience different lessons. It will be less easy for people to get your goat! Healing work is hard business but its time to stop carrying around all of that relationship-damaging baggage that just keeps you sick and toxic often choking on the poison you emanate from your wounds. It’s a hard truth, I know. But, I’m not suggesting that you not be gentle with yourself as you explore and that you shouldnt look for gentle souls around you to help you understand either. Find someone who will be objective and loving at the same time. You are more apt to get the truth that way.
I’m going to stop my caffeine induced meanderings for the rest of the morning and do a little “house cleaning” myself. Some things of late have got me to really start thinking about my own perception and the truth along with all those little lies we humans continuously and unconsciously tell ourselves. Blessings, love and light for your healing journey dearest souls. I wish you every success and that you quickly begin to feel the love and light pulsing within you.
(c) 2012, Jaie Hart (Note: So I wrote this article but I owe the concepts to every soul I've ever met that hurt me and to every soul I've ever talked with concerning pain and its purpose - so, to everyone of you, I thank you for the blessings of the lessons I have learned because of you. Also - this photo isn't mine and I take no credit for it. I found it randomly on the internet).