~ One of the most beautiful songs. Just a simple share. Enjoy. Smile. Be peaceful. ~
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
So, I found this really great house to rent that was beautiful, right price, right area and seemed so very perfect for us. There was something in an agent explanation that didn't sound quite right about an unexpected expense or two that was not pocket change and it had me feeling the whole thing was just a scam. While I don't watch the news, I do periodically tune in to the internet for media surrounding things I'm focused on for purposes of education. Not that the internet is fully truthful but where there is noise (smoke), there almost always is fire. I decided to give up on the house as a scam and told the agent no thank you. But something bothered me. I could feel an untruth in the mix and so something within me could not let it go. I don't know if I could explain what an untruth feels like. It isn't quite an anxious feeling but a heavy feeling in the pit of the stomach coupled with something that feels a little like anxiety. The energy of it hits me so strongly that I'm unable to let it go until I discern the untruth or misunderstanding.
Yesterday morning I was still thinking about the house and feeling wholly unresolved seeking clarity from the agent I was working with. I had decided to pass but something kept nagging me not to let go. So, I remained open. I made a couple other inquiries via email and another agent emailed me back about the house. I explained I wasn't interested in it any longer because of the required additional fees to rent it. This agent explained there were no extra fees and the owner was not imposing them as the other agent intimated. This agent told her the owner was wonderful and I should go talk to her as she was personally holding an open house. Something in me clicked and I heeded the call to go clarify information. I didn't have anything to lose and plenty to gain. So, off I went and spoke to the owner who was wonderful. I put in an application and she's now in the process of validating all I've provided so far.
The original agent I was working with was not acting purposefully untruthful but was just very vague on what it was she was trying to do and it came off very sketchy in my opinion. Had she been more clear and truthful with me, we might have come to an agreement. I actually spoke to that agent after I left the house and cleared up this misgivings, thanked her for her effort but did not want the additional service she was attempting to provide for a fee. So, by staying open, the truth was revealed. I followed my hunches that resulted in clearing up all misunderstandings and I may still get the house after all. The matter now is out of my hands. The owner either likes us or doesn't and I will take no offense if she does not wish to rent to us. Kids and a pet are not easy or appealing to all landlords, so, it will be as it is meant to be. But, the point I am making is that had I not tuned into how the "untruth" was manifesting energetically within my being, I'd have had no chance at all. I'd have walked away due to vague inaccurate information. But I felt the untruth in it. Something was not being made clear and so I slowed down and let my intuition guide my next actions. when I sought out the clarity and remained open to receiving it or pursuing it, I received as I intended and all anxiousness and heavy energy concerning the place disappeared.
This isn't the only example. I've been involved with people for various interactions and have on many occasions noted that "untruth" energy within the core of my being. Every single time I felt that, the person before me was either intentionally or unintentionally hiding something from me that was a very big deal. Once I found out what the untruth was, I could make fully informed decisions and those decisions were to immediately curtail interactions. It's not a matter of judgment but a matter of something being hidden from my conscious cognition that did not agree with my beingness. Staying open and paying attention to what is not on the level will help you reveal the truth. The truth is always right there before you but it may take some time to uncover it. I strongly recommend time for self-reflection daily. When you are very aware of how your beingness feels in a normal and peaceful state, it is easier to discern when the soul is trying to prompt you to seek out the truth of a seeming untruth or misunderstanding. Sometimes the untruth is born of one's own misunderstanding, in which case, its really important to tune in and pay attention to your own energy.
Some people might think this "energy stuff" is all just crazy nonsense. It isn't at all in my own personal experience. As aware human beings we can feel when there is an untruth in an interaction whether it is us lying to us or deluding ourselves or when we are dealing with someone before us who is lying or deluding themselves. There is so much information we take in all the time. Our own psychological filters either bring it into focus or hide it from our view for myriad reasons. But the energy is unmistakable. If you meet someone for the first time and you feel that heavy energy feeling with any anxiety in it within your core, you are being lied to or you are lying to yourself about the interaction. This might seem a gross oversimplification in many ways but it is still true. So many times have I sat across the table from someone who made a comment that seemed to hit me in my core in a strange energetic way (words not matching actions or energy). I always take note when that happens. Even the slightest twinge of anxiety there or energy shift in my body that catches my attention tells me an interaction is not right for me or someone is hiding something from me that will be a big deal to me later on.
I recommend taking time daily to sit quietly and feel how your body/energy feels. If you've had a tough day, think about why and notice your energy. If you've had a really great day, take the time to think about why and notice your energy. When you know how you feel in your various states, you can learn to tune into this when interacting with others. What escapes your consciousness will not escape your body/soul's internal energetic detection system. Time and effort are well spent here I can assure you. I have many experiences where I thought this was crazy nonsense, ignored my own core sensations and it lead to interactions wholly unsatisfying at many levels and even potentially perilous ones. Pay attention to your mind, heart, body and soul. Messages are given constantly and if you learn to tune in by getting quiet, feeling your energy from your head to your toes, you will in time be amazed at how much information you are taking in all the time. You'll be better able to make more informed decisions and walk a much more illumined path through this life. Blessings for greater love, awareness and understanding beautiful dreamers. The answers are not "out there," they are "in there," within you.
(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)
Friday, February 22, 2013
Desire is a funny thing to me. We have various desires throughout the day or even throughout our lives. These desires seem like they might be good things, but I wonder. As with everything else, there are myriad reasons for desires. Some may be healthy such as I am hungry and desire sustenance to stop my tummy from rumbling. Some may be unhealthy such as I just ate dinner and am full but now I desire sweet delicious creamy textured chocolate chip ice cream with chocolate syrup - no scratch that, hot fudge. The former is a desire that when fulfilled physically and in the right frame, can be satisfied and will not recur for at least a few hours when the next meal time comes and the body needs more fuel for energy. You need to fuel the body and fueling the body for it's energetic purposes in a thoughtful way is a good thing. However, if your desires are emotionally driven, I wonder - can they ever be truly satisfied? I'm not professing to have any answers here as these are just my thoughts this morning.
I'm a root-cause analysis kind of gal when it comes to analyzing thoughts and issues and so if I have a desire that can be healthily quenched, I'm all about that. However, if I have an emotional desire I've come to the conclusion that I am less apt to strive to seek to satisfy such a desire. If I want to satisfy an emotional desire I first have to understand if it is a true desire that can be fulfilled or if it is an emotional desire that can never be fulfilled by anything in the outside world. Emotional desires seem to me to be things we can never satisfy with the outside world. I might desire companionship in a moment when I am bored. If I seek to quickly satisfy that with the nearest soul in my proximity who turns out to be disordered in some way, my desire for companionship might be met but then I must embrace the fallout of hanging out with the hurtfully disordered (shivers). Not that they don't also deserve companionship but my intent is to convey that you may get more than you planned to contend with. So, I would see a desire for companionship to cure boredom not as a desire that needs to be satisfied but one I need to understand better.
Why would I desire companionship when I'm bored, ice cream when I'm full, a bigger house, a new purse, a new pair of shoes, etc. when I already have everything I need? To me, that's easy, my ego is feeling unattended. In such instances I know that if I attempt to fulfill an emotional desire with anything outside of myself I will ultimately deal with only consequences and not all may be pleasant. So, hmmm, my desires in some cases - I think - are more about healing wounds within or thoughts within that escaped my conscious cognition. Emotional desires can be funny things. Sometimes emotional desire is about the rush, the conquest, the adventure but when fulfilled, never seem to have the lasting affect I might have truly wished. If I should find myself in such a place, I know I am trying to fulfill an emotional desire from sources that can never fulfill my true desire. So, what then is the true desire? To be recognized? Ego - fleeting. To be paid attention too? Ego - Fleeting. To feel good compared to others? Ego - fleeting. Maybe my desires are really a message from me to me that I need to better understand my current frame of reference.
If I go with the message from me to me and look deeper beneath the chatter of "I want this" or "I want that," and decided to understand my true motivation, maybe in a moment I am off-balance and unhappy or depressed and just unconsciously want to feel better. There is nothing outside of me that can bring me that. Substances (legally purchased or prescribed) can temporarily give me the illusion of fulfillment of the desire but it won't last and I'll always just want to seek more of makes me feel good. Logically, I know that the only thing in this world that can make me feel good is me, generated by my own thoughts and emotions, adjusting an unconscious perspective, through healing any negative thoughts and emotions and then, well, the satisfying of the desire by my own internal thoughts and actions or in some cases proper inaction, I can gain greater and more sustainable success with such an approach. If I am feeling bad, I can cut myself some slack by entertaining thoughts of, "Wow, I've been so busy lately with work and kids, I've not taken any time for myself. I really just need a walk in nature, in the sunlight and taking in a beautiful breeze. That would shift my perspective enough to entertain brighter thoughts within that I can choose to attach different emotion to." While Ice cream with hot fudge might make me feel awesome for a few minutes, if I engage in this manner of satisfying an emotional desire too often, it will also bring me unintended consequences such as added pounds, clothes that don't fit and ill-health. (shivers again).
I'm finding that the more I meditate with ever more devotion, the more I realize how much of my emotion I truly create. My desires for things unhealthy begin to dissipate as I find a greater sense of wholeness, peace and even bliss by allowing myself complete quiet to just go within and be. I'm finding that none of my desires bring me greater and lasting happiness than my desire for peace and serenity through meditation. So, well, there goes the desire for romantic relationships - those are completely out of the question. The very nature of relationships is seeking to fulfill a need through someone else. Nah, I truly do not desire that. Also out of the question are yummy, delicious, crispy and salty kettle chips (now this one is really hard). Temporarily, happiness comes but like ice cream, the whole pounds and tight clothes consequence thing...yikes! Other tools so frequently used also go out the window more and more each day. Alcohol is not something that does anything good for me unless I'm using wine for cooking. Smoking suddenly loses its effect of satisfaction. Buying new clothes, shoes or purses does nothing but drain the bank account. Bigger houses mean more space to clean. It seems to me the only desire that truly promotes anything about my well-being is meditation, seeking solace in beautiful sunlight, exchanging loving support with friends, working to do the best job I can do and seeking to bring smiles to the faces of my children. These are all desires that bring me more lasting happiness. All other desires are only fleeting messages of things I need to pay better attention to within I think.
Desires are interesting things. What do your desires fulfilled bring you? Are they worth it? Do the sensations of fulfillment last for you? I think its good to be aware of our desires for more than just the superficial and seeming immediate value of them. Particularly those of the emotional variety. We can feel good without buying, imbibing or engaging in anything in the outside world. I didn't know that before meditation and giving myself a chance to gain some clarity on what and who I really am. I'd love to hear other's thoughts on desires. Comment below if you are moved to. Blessings for a self-satisfying and beautiful day.
(c) 2013, Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate random internet find)
Sunday, February 17, 2013
So, instead I focused on holding a peaceful state of grace every moment I could manage it. I didn't do it perfectly and I succumbed plenty to anxiety and stress, anger and frustration but I was able to bring my focus back to that blessed state of grace and peace now and then. It saved me what might have been an even more uncomfortable time. Realizing that in life we are perfect in our imperfections, that wasting time worrying about other's thoughts of us truly makes no sense and knowing definitively what is good within my own heart and soul gave me the grounding necessary to proceed on matters as I had chosen from the core of me. We forget sometimes that our answers lie within us and much time did I spend in reflection when I could. I'm beginning to care less about the world spinning on it's axis and instead focusing on standing in my own light, knowing definitive truth and right action comes only when we can clear our cluttered minds enough to see. When I finally felt the truth of these words I was driving into a beautiful morning sun. The very cool temperatures created a mist that seemed to gild everything in golden morning sunlight. I smiled from the heart of my soul realizing in that moment that it's just a play. I will do my best. I will be appreciated or disparaged and I truly care not. I understand the truth of the games the egos in this world play and its not my job to engage in it but rather defend from the negative effects of it that are my choice and my choice alone. Only I can feel what I choose to feel. No soul incarnate has enough power on this planet over me to force any emotion upon me I do not give my consent to owning.
So, I let the stress of a couple weeks go and I wrote this poem inside of my head as I drove into work. I committed each line to memory because I wanted the blissful emotion from my realization to stick with me, to remind me and encourage me to focus not on the ego's illusions but the truth about the love that fills all the empty spaces, cures all fear and chases away all darkness. So, here it is, I hope you enjoy it as well.
Misty golden rays of sunlight
Cast across my field of vision
Morning's gilded filters
Do take away any thoughts of gloom
The mood is high just feeling the love
Knowing its there filling up
All the seemingly empty spaces
Life lessons abound in every direction
So easy it is to become entranced by the illusions
But something within you will always stir
A knowing, a distant memory
To remind you of what it is that truly matters
Not the negativity you seem to routinely encounter
But the ways in which you dispense with it
Through true and clear reflective understanding
The light does most always shine
It's only when you are not seeing clearly mired in ego
That you cannot comprehend it's constant existence
The Source connection within you
That spark of divinity your life was blessed with
Remains always and ever
Your true and blissful anchor
(c) 2013, Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate random internet find)
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Let's take challenging people since that seems to be a common theme in many people's lives. If you are continually encountering souls that just seem to vex you to your very core, YOU had a good reason for inviting those kinds of people into your play, your life. What if your intent was to loosen the ego's grip on your consciousness and you truly wished to go through this life understanding the truth about individual expressions of divinity under the parameters of free will? If this were the case, you would encounter mostly challenging souls in your lives to get you to stop reacting from the heart of the ego and instead get you to respond to life from a place of understanding, compassion and acceptance from the heart of your soul.
Let's take grief for a moment. What if you wanted to experience grief so that you could learn the beautiful art of acceptance, healthy detachment and the loving art of letting go? Rather than be derailed by grief, you set a course to understand at the level of the soul, the substance of it, the mechanics of it and how best to over come it and still be okay in your life? What if?
The reasons we do not know all of this going in is because we are so amazing that we wanted to respond in real time, we wanted reality, we wanted to challenge ourselves and keep our souls sharp, honed and flexible. You create your reality. You do it with your thoughts, the emotions you attach to your thoughts and the resulting magnetic energy created when you combine those two elements of creation. So, if you are the creator and you come to understand this, you begin to lose the need for victims, villains and blame. You begin to realize that only you can take accountability for your thoughts, only you have the power to attach emotion to your thoughts and only you can create the magnetic energy necessary to draw to you experiences that you most want to experience.
I know it is easier to feel victimized and look for a savior or rescuer to bail you out of all you find distasteful or displeasing. But, what if you are your savior and your rescuer? What if you empowered yourselves infinitely with those thoughts? Do you realize the freedom that you would be giving yourselves? It is difficult to entertain new thoughts but new thought is the only way we can improve what seems to be deplorable recurring conditions in our lives. If you have gotten the message through the continual base you build your life/thoughts from and you no longer wish to call to you the kind and types of experiences you have had thus far in your lives, it really is up to you to change what is within you. You cannot change the world around you through fixing, blaming, attacking, taking people to task or wielding brutal honesty to get every one to behave around you the way you wish them to behave. They'll only just walk away and be replaced by others who exhibit the same or similar personality and behavior traits. So, if you are not happy with your experience here on Earth, it is up to you to change the creative ingredients that produce the experiences in your lives. It's difficult to just flip a switch and think, "make it so." You need to practice changing your thoughts, attaching emotion differently and then the magnetic energy around you will change bringing you wholly different experiences.
You really are amazing individuals and so very powerful...much more so than you realize. Be the amazing souls that you are and accept the experiences you have created thus far. Learn from and truly understand the core themes of those experiences and then you can move on to creating differently for greater learning, greater love and much greater compassion and understanding in life. Blessings of creativity, understanding and true satisfaction.
(c) 2013, Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)
Monday, February 4, 2013
I'm in a good place in my life I think. I've always been in a good place in my life no matter how steep the impending climb. I just didn't know it when I was too mired in a victim mentality or limited and negative thinking to see. When I finally understood how I was creating, life changed for me. I walk in the same world as always I have but its different now. It's different because I have changed and transformed through understanding, learning and even pain. For every tear I have cried, Lord thank you. For every dream denied, I thank you. For every single thing I thought I had lost, immense gratitude have I for in the losing, I have found much I didn't expect and it is by far more than ever I could have dreamed.
A lone hawk soars high above the Earth. I envy her a moment for her freedom and stand there transfixed as the last rays of diffused light begin to quickly fade. I sigh a little as she flaps her wings and I lose sight of her. I turn and face the city again and take my place here consciously within it. One more deep breath and I smile at the sky for no reason, for every reason.
(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, very fortunate internet find)