Saturday, February 28, 2015
When faced with something toxic, gently set it down. Examine it dispassionately for the purpose of understanding for in that understanding therein lies a true and beautiful opportunity to gain wisdom and insight into your own spirit.
The above statement came to me earlier this week and turned out to be a bit precognitive in nature. I’ve written about malware in the psyche in some of my works and we all have it. As uncomfortable as it may feel, when you are faced with yours, it can be both frightening and exhilarating at the very same time. When moving through our day to day we come across a present day scenario that sets off a trigger from a moment in the recent past, it feels so very uncomfortable. When you set that down and look at it from a calm and peaceful perspective, you begin to see the entirety of the picture in that the recent trigger is not the only one and that is exactly why you may feel completely undone (even if you don’t show it on the outside). I’m a highly functioning member of society. I have much insight about any number of things but must admit that turning it inward is much work. That’s a little funny to me because all the things I write about are based on direct experience. I'm just as infected with malware as everyone else on the planet. The only difference I've become more aware of it over time and have learned that through that awareness we can buy ourselves precious seconds to over-ride our automatic mental operating systems infected with malware and make healthier choices for ourselves.
Writers are always encouraged to write what they know. Well, if I wrote only about emotional trauma, distress and disappointment, I’d be writing soap operas that are useless and reinforcing the negative rather than embodying a curious reflection in the fullness of faith in myself to face whatever it is that has been created by me in my life to deal with. So, I’m reflecting this morning about a trigger I faced this week.
I can’t reveal all the details because others are involved but I will just say that a fear seemingly originating from just a bit further back in my timeline seemed to be manifesting in my present. I thought I had solved that fear by stepping off the battlefield and taking a different path. But fear is funny – if you don’t deal with it head on, it will reappear not to drive you crazy but to give you a better opportunity to understand it. So, I encountered this opportunity this week and in the moment of discovery, my body and mind were in reactive mode with so much toxic emotion that I could barely function. I realized that even though I was in an emotionally reactive state I could still feel the opportunity I had to experience this fearful thing with grace. Also, fortunately for me, I had the benefit of unexpected assistance in a moment that helped me realize I was safe to explore what was really happening. Now, this particular situation is an ongoing one and so I had to ask myself, “Why am I reacting like I am right now?” I was stunned by an unanticipated and seemingly uncontrollable involuntary emotional reaction. My own response is in part due to the event I mentioned a little further back in my timeline when I found myself in a similar emotionally reactive state. I thought I solved this issue at its source when my inner guidance prompted me to take a new direction in an area of my life. I followed and life was still tough but ultimately it was better.
There was a part of the scenario that always had the potential to come back and it did, a tiny little sliver of it in just the way I most feared and my body unconsciously reacted to that tiny sliver as if I was squared off on the battlefield with broadsword in hand again. I analyzed my own reactions being of two minds always on a thing – the object and the subject both witness and experiencer of life. And so, I curiously felt my way through, letting the emotion be…trying not to beat myself up in my thoughts that all of my progress was for naught – all of my progress was brilliant and perfect and the only threat was a perceived one and not a real one. There was an old fear that creeped up – a fear that I could not handle what was before me. A lie inside my own mind I recognized immediately but it generated emotion. I had no choice in the moment other than to let the emotion have its voice and so I just allowed it to be. I am emotional today but I am also something more – I am wise for my experience of the recent and not too distant past experience but with a little analysis and reflection I see this is a pattern and theme. There is a string of these very same things that run through the whole of my conscious experience here in physical reality. This means there was a moment where a certain kind of fear was installed in the form of mental malware by careless individuals who knew not one ounce better. An old belief was uncovered and that belief was, "I am not good enough." This realization became a threat to my current conscious belief of what being good enough is. I realized that the source of the old belief of "not-good enough" was fighting to become completely conscious.
I see the string of triggers and events and their meaning to me, so personalized, so perfect and so me to combat something such as a belief that was never mine but one given me not so much in word but in circumstance (and well, sometimes word). If I could give you all of the specifics it would make so much more sense but I cannot as it involves others I said and their part in this journey are confidential and well truly irrelevant to my present thoughts and understanding. I see them as blessed teaches of a very tough life lesson, the threatening of self at the level of a belief held unconsciously. This is the most destructive type of thoughts there is. It is unreal should you ever encounter it. The belief – is null, invalid and untrue and no soul who approaches me and attempts to push that belief back upon me will be met with nothing other than compassion along with a very strong rejection of any form of illusory attack.
My reaction this week was a cellular reaction of a child who knew they were being told a lie, a destructive lie that was reinforced so many times that it crossed their ethical line into oblivion. I see now that child and how her presence within me today, the way she evoked an unconscious reaction in me in my present situation was the most beautiful gift I have been given in a long time. The gift of wisdom and the gift of insight…She has been speaking to me for years through anxiety, depression, disappointment and self-limiting thoughts. She has been fighting to get me to remember the time before we were given the belief – the malware…remember that moment when you knew and believed in the truth of you, that you stood in the brilliance of your own light unphased by the insanity of the malware of others and there do I still stand.
As I reflect on my present day triggering of a core level aspect of malware, I’m shaken a bit physically and emotionally but the observer of the subject (both are me) are actually over joyed. There is no threat. There is only bad behavior I prefer not to tolerate and there are my choices I will make in line with my own light. I will participate in full awareness of the truth of my being, I know what I’m capable of and I know where my boundaries are. I will exercise all aspects of the fullness of my being to face this trigger once and for all knowing no matter what comes of the situation, I am safe, I will be safe and no words or actions can ever change that. By safe I mean emotionally safe. This is no physical threat that I face but the challenge of healing an old emotional wound.
We are such amazing and complex creatures. Beautiful aspects of The Whole are we. I find as I stand in that light, it's time now to challenge my own perspectives. For in so doing, the present elements I face become nothing but actors playing roles in a play I thought I might find entertaining to bear witness to. So creative it is and I’m pleased in this moment at the creativity expressed by all who have participated from the first moments in the long distant past to the present individuals who stand in the roles now. What a blessing it is to reach a moment of understanding of a life lesson learned and finally understood.
© 2015 (photo and words)
Sunday, February 22, 2015
In spiritual circles, there is much discussion about detaching or rising above something frustrating or bad behavior that truly is wholly unacceptable. This talk ensues leaving an earnest seeker thinking they are somehow trapped in the space of forcing down anger and frustration while they try to rise above something or not let something bother them. It is so very important to note that many spiritual principles are discussed but not necessarily understood in their proper context and without that context, you could be misapplying principles to your own psychological detriment.
Healthy detachment does not mean that you walk around letting everyone use you as a doormat while you just smile and I say, I love you or I forgive you. You can do and say these things, absolutely! But, if you are in any way being inauthentic about that, you are actually harming yourself. Sometimes you have to say something until you mean it but that is mostly applicable to negative self-talk and that is certainly not what I’m talking about here. What I’m talking about here is actually several concepts wrapped up into one designed to help you better understand how you can make some choices that will hopefully be more in line with your integrity and authenticity as well as helping you understand human interactions and their true intent.
Let’s face it and be real up front, not all of us know how to play nice in the sand box in terms of human behavior. We’ve even been guilty of this kind of behavior ourselves, lets be very honest, at least at some point in our timelines. The first part about this concept is to understand that another’s bad behavior is not your doing, is not your fault and is nothing for you to carry no matter how loudly the poor behaving person screams from the mountain tops. Bad behavior is about the person conducting it and not you. Learn accountability for your own behavior and you will start to notice where that accountability is lacking in another. When you start to notice, don’t slip into the trap of judging another’s side of the street dirtier than yours because that doesn’t really lift you up either. You have to deal with what you face to get the true meaning and essence of the life lesson before you.
When people behave poorly to us, until we break old patterns of our own thoughts and normal reactions to the behavior or others, that behavior is likely to generate negative emotion within us. That’s perfectly fine and completely okay. Allow yourself to feel the emotion and then consider whether you might be able to understand its true message to you. Perhaps that message is simply this: Some people have suffered environmental psychology they are either unable or unwilling to change and this causes them to behave poorly and sometimes even in ways that hurts your feelings. Fighting back with vengeful-type behavior is like trying to put out fire with gasoline. You’re likely the one to go up in flames. I always suggest that when someone has hurt your feelings with their behavior, it’s best to take a moment, a breath or even a walk long enough for you to gain your composure to the point you can articulate how you feel. Then I’m going to suggest that if it is safe for you to do so, tell the person how you feel when they behave in a certain way. I suggest that you don’t attack the person but instead you focus on the behavior.
State your piece and then get ready to let go of your attachment to outcomes. You see, people who behave poorly cannot change their behavior until they learn how. You can speak how you feel when it is safe to do so (or journal or talk to a trusted friend or adviser if it is not safe for you to speak how you feel) but you can’t control another person or their behavior at the end of the day. To complicate matters even more, the way you perceive the “bad behavior” is filtered through your own environmental psychology and part of the emotion you feel may not necessarily be from the outside world at all but for something within you left unexamined, a belief held and long-forgotten that you were unconsciously reminded of by someone else’s bad behavior. Regardless of your perception, regardless of the reason for the other person’s bad behavior, you can express how you feel about it. Consider a discourse rather than a raging argument. Consider a moment of listening within for what is calling to you. Listening without for what someone else is really saying.
There is a final part to this and this is perhaps the most important. If you’re getting the message and still the bad behavior continues and you really don’t want to participate, that’s where you have to choose your own side and set a boundary to protect yourself. The best way to do that is to step off the battlefield or seek the appropriate assistance with processing what is happening and making the best choices for you. Healthy detachment is when you arrive at a place where you know what “stuff” in an interaction is your “stuff” and what “stuff” in an interaction belongs to another. Set boundaries. Participate only in what you wish to participate in and do so gladly whether that means stepping further into discussion or stepping off the battlefield entirely. Know that you were put here to be no one’s door mat. Sometimes some people behave so poorly that the only way you can hear your own inner messages on whatever it is they brought up for you is to get away and spend as little time as possible with that person. Set a boundary around what you will or won’t participate in.
In closing, truly for your own sake and benefit, you must let go of the idea that you have the power to change another’s behavior. Healthy detachment means that you truly understand that you have power only to understand and control your own behavior, make your own choices for your own ideals. No other can be accurately judged by your standards, perceive exactly the way you do or contain within the exact same messages for life lessons that need learning like you do. Healthy detachment means that you allow yourself the authenticity to feel how you feel, think before you act or react and that you choose then what you will or will not participate in. It is work and hard work sometimes. The malware that runs rampant within our sense of self-needs to be right, validated and vindicated and thinks it can control others. This is an illusion.
With healthy detachment you can show yourself compassion by allowing your feelings to be felt, seeking understanding, speaking up if you need to be heard and then moving on if need be in order to set boundaries more in line with your own personal integrity. You can also show another through healthy detachment, the respect and the courtesy to allow them to be exactly who they are without your interference or requiring them to change. Participate or don’t but let go of any idea of getting them to change. Let go of the thoughts of “only if.” You can “only if” every single relationship or encounter and never will you get to the space of healthy detachment while you dig yourself deeper into the emotional egotistical drama of it all. If you want to engage in it, it is up to you but if it isn’t healthy for you then you have some choices to make to get off the floor and decide you will detach rather than be a doormat or martyr. There is nothing of true value in that for you. You’ve done nothing so wrong that you deserve such self-inflicted punishment. Know this and feel the truth of it within you.
These are no easy things to learn. Simple in concept perhaps but more challenging in action and action for you personally is what this is all about. Your timeline, your life and your experiences are about you but not necessarily in the way you might think. So, give yourselves room to be, to feel, and to respond to life as you deem most appropriate. Detach from the need to manipulate or control what you consider to be bad behavior in others and try if you can to accept people and situations just exactly as they are. If you don’t like their behavior, set boundaries for yourself, communicate your boundaries where needed and you can go on living, understanding, expanding and growing in a healthy manner in your life.
© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)
If you like this post, you might enjoy some of the concepts in my books. You can visit my website at:
Sunday, February 15, 2015
On the path, we may come to learn to be conscientious. We may then learn about sympathy. From there we may graduate to empathy. From there we may learn the mastery of true love and then compassion - The Ultimate Learning!
To elaborate a bit further:
- When Conscientious, we realize that other people have feelings too and we seek consideration of them as we go through our lives. Conscientious is good but just a stage on the path.
- When Sympathetic, we certainly mean well but eventually learn sympathy truly reinforces another's weakness and is truly an act of malware in the ego. Sympathy is not the goal but a stage we move through.
- When we graduate to Empathy, we have learned to not only feel within to but to feel others as well. The challenge then becomes the ability to set boundaries and the realization that we need not carry another's burden in pain or emotion. Empathy is not the destination but yet another stage on the path.
- When we come to Love and we learn that it begins within us, we learn to carry ourselves and to allow others to be as they are. Love is not the only destination but still, yet, another stage in the journey of self-realization and ultimate discovery.
- When we find Compassion, we learn to love all as we love ourselves, including this world and all worlds. Compassion allows an understanding at the deepest levels possible and is an imperative on the path to true understanding.
- The stages continue on refining and enhancing us as we move along in our lives like diamonds shaped to that perfect light reflecting sparkle. A return to ourselves with a knowing we held the light all along.
© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo and words)
Do you give in your life only to get something in return? In this article we’re going to explore the conscious energetic flow of the mind sets of giving to give and giving to get. It is important to understand flow and how you create what you truly desire in life. It requires a lot of courage to take a cold hard look at your own actions and see where you truly are. Are you ready? Are you certain? Okay, let’s dig in.
There is an unspoken psychology as to which side of the fence you sit on and in actuality either one can be healthy or unhealthy depending upon your own motives. When you can strike that balance of health reality and positive frame of reference to begin with, you are “in-flow” and create an entirely different set of circumstances than when you are out of balance, in a fearful or negative frame of reference to begin with and are “out-of-flow.” So, how does this really work? First, you have to understand your own internal messaging a little bit and you have to understand your true motives and beliefs. If you do not know your true self and your true motives, your outcomes will never match your expectations. So, the whole “Law of Attraction” or “Secret” work that you may engage in with passion after studying up will not matter a hill of beans to you if you don’t first understand how you negatively create.
First of all Quid Pro Quo – I give and you give back to me is a heavy expectation but it’s not so bad if both parties mutually agree and give consent in a clear state of full and fair disclosure. If you go into the agreement as such then both agree to conditions and terms of giving and reciprocation and you might see some gains. If you give with unspoken expectations you are ultimately giving from a state of fear or lack or from a psychological need to control or be controlled…sometimes this one is even pure manipulation in action and it carries over into every area of life. If you give for gain only, that giving is conditional and will only interrupt the natural flow. You may see some gains but you'll likely experience more loss and disappointment in the end, not to mention create sometimes a bit of conflict verbal or otherwise.
If you give, give for the beauty and flow of the feeling of giving. Give in a space of benevolence, of abundance and of positive frame regardless of what comes back. When you give from this space, what you give comes back to you and often ten fold.
Important to note is that when you give just for gain or to get, that also comes right back to you and locks you into this give-get-give-get without necessarily getting the truly good stuff “in-flow” with the positive circulation of thought and energy. I know it may sound hokey or New Agey but the New Age wisdom isn’t actually new. Our ancient philosophers understood this and ancient schools of thought promoted this concept – “give for the flow of giving.”
Now, I do not suggest any human being become a giving door mat. If you find yourself in such a space, you may be unconsciously giving to get. Follow your heart when it comes to giving that is how you stay “in-flow.” Follow the ego solely in terms of your giving for gain and you will be trapped in a space of conditional giving – the old axiom says it best – I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. This might work in some places but the energy forces one person potentially to do something that forces them to potentially cross their own boundaries just to achieve a goal or gain favor with you. This interferes with "in-flow" behavior.
I suggest to you that if you are giving in order to obligate someone to reciprocate, you are operating from a sense of lack and you’ll continually find yourself in conflict with the flow and in fact, will be disrupting your own. When you give, “in-flow” with no expectation, what you give comes back to you. Some like to call this Karmic law but it’s more than that and we are by far greater than that. If you want benevolence, be benevolent. If you want unconditional appreciation and respect, be that and give that with no strings attached. This is not to say that if you offer a service for money and you set that out clearly and honestly in advance and consenting adults agree to this kind of reciprocal and conditional contract is a problem, it isn’t. And, such a contract mutually agreed upon is not negative manipulation outside of the flow. When you say, “I did this for you, now you must do something for me” you are outside of the flow. You are outside of the flow because you assumed mutual contractual agreement. In such cases you create from an unhealthy state. A way to avoid this is to obtain mutual consent, clarify mutual agreement first, be open and honest and fully disclose in advance to stay “in-flow.”
In this world there are givers and there are takers. Some will take, take, take while you just give, give, give. Don’t worry about them so much. Start to focus on any beliefs or assumptions you have made about a contractual agreement or mutual reciprocation for your giving if that is what you desire and you will keep yourselves “in-flow.” Keeping yourself “in-flow” is what keeps your giving coming back to you. It’s funny how it works. Give from a good place within you -- a place that wants to feel good for giving. If you want someone to give back, say so before you give or you risk much disappointment. Unspoken expectation is like a retroactive contract clamped on someone like an iron cage and it truly is a recipe for disaster and is actually a very nasty form of manipulation. That also stops your natural positive flow.
Keep something in mind - while you may naturally be conscientious and one who automatically returns favors given honorably and honestly, not every one is. Judging others by how you behave will also take you out of flow. To stay "in-flow" you need to understand that all of humanity is motivated differently, have different levels of awareness as well as the ability for consideration. Just tuck that knowledge away and then act accordingly.
So, take a look at your motivations, clarify your intention, speak it to those from which you are hoping to gain, be honest, hold yourself to a high standard of integrity, honor and honesty and in your dealings express that this is what you require if you are desiring a contractual type exchange (and this includes the relationship arena as well). If you can do this, those onboard have an opportunity to join with you “in-flow” or decide to opt out and they should be permitted the free will to opt-out and your allowance will maintain your “in-flow” actions and behavior.
In life, we win some and we lose some. We lose more by unspoken expectation, giving from a place of fear and manipulating others for our needs dishonestly. Just some food for thought beautiful dreamers. Question your motives, question your actions, question the motives of others not in a paranoid manner but in an honest and honorable manner. Confirm your agreements and expectations before you assume that people will return what you give. Quid pro quo should be agreed to openly and not assumed, expected or retroactively imposed. If you are uncertain about whether an unspoken contract is being imposed upon you, notice how your body feels about this if your mind cannot grasp it or is confused. Stand in your own light and question obligations you are not ready to take on and say so if you are not consenting to the contract or obligation. You get to choose what you will or won't participate in as well as create.
© 2015, Jaie Hart
Sunday, February 8, 2015
I am not a feminist (but do not begrudge them at all) but a soul who finds great distaste in any form of oppression of souls condemned to be lesser by those who foist themselves up as greater. Call it a character flaw if you will but it discomforts me greatly to see such a long history of abuse that is still often perpetuated today. In History as a Weapon by Howard Zinn, you can see in the United States at least in its very early beginnings, the dismal manner in which women were treated merely because they were women. Then a quick glance around the internet and we see that many women around the world throughout history were great leaders. A quick excerpt of many of them can be found at http://www.womeninworldhistory.com/rulers.html. So I wonder, why, why were women treated so horribly? Why were women singled out to become mere property and other too dismal to expand upon objects? It’s really a question there is no answer to other than in my own opinion, fear and stupidity.
In my querying I mean to position neither of the sexes as superior to the other but to point out that mistreatment based on sex alone, religion alone or culture alone is of the same ilk…fear and stupidity. I usually keep my opinions to myself but I’m bothered by mistreatment of any class for any reason. The depth of which this subject bothers me is I see it in the world, I see it in my own neighborhood and I hear it on the news which I try hard not to watch (but since others do and talk about it, I still must hear the horrors perpetuated by the unaware and woefully unawakened). As much as it disappoints and even at times causes me much pain, I cannot sink to the same level as those who created the problems to begin with. I will not hate. It’s just a personal commitment I have made to myself. I will become not one bit a part of the problem but I cannot stand by and watch it consistently perpetuated and have no feelings either - I think. I can pray or join an organization and stand with greater voices and numbers to help decry the wrongs and strive to help put them right through education but never ever could I engage in the violence so many choose when feeling as I do just now.
I see the reports of youth carrying out random acts of violence based solely on color of skin or choice of romantic entanglement and it makes me want to cry. Why do we raise a whole generation of children perpetuating even more fear and loathing of our racial, religious, sexual or political differences? We could accomplish so much more in this world if we stood together side by side in the one manner that unifies every single one of us on the planet. I refer to us all being members of the human race. If we stood together unified, without any fear of each other or without the need for control by the men declaring superiority over the women, or the white declaring supremacy over the black or the perfectly religious over those wrongly considered mere and vile pagans, we might be able to help each other through this thing we call life.
I realize that the incredulous feeling that rises within me is merely yet another message from me to me for me to figure out and better understand. I have great capacity for understanding both the oppressors and the oppressed but where does that leave me other than greatly conflicted as I read of or learn about the latest heinous activity committed during the day? Why can we not have a society in which everyone has a better and more equal role? We are so smart and resourceful today. Why can we not find a way to use the strength of that intelligence and resourcefulness to teach our children to choose love over hate, to stand up for what is morally right, to live in this world giving their best to contribute to the human race as a whole rather than to just a select few deemed worthy only by a select few who claim worthiness to determine worthiness?
I grew up very poor in the welfare system. My parents were uneducated and unable to cope with the intricacies of the workings of the world in which they found themselves. They were looked down upon by others because they were good looking people but were so very poor. Under-performers were they judged and maybe that was so but they had a right to be respected as human beings. So does every poor person, every homeless person, every addicted person, every soul who has had to steal to feed their families and even every criminal who is acting out the perpetual cycle of victim turned villain by pain and abuse. If we could stop this cycle of fear and hate maybe the pain would finally end. But that is my very human side that cries out in pain for all of those who were wounded and thrown away. My heart will always ache for them but then again, maybe not all is horribly and irretrievably lost.
Maybe if we were to pay attention to the themes and roles that are occurring right now at this point in the history of this planet and see how it has repeated in nearly all societies throughout the civilized history of this planet, we might just learn something. If we could look to the good and focus on creating more of that and if we could look to the bad that hurt those societies and brought them crumbling to the ground and then refused to engage in or perpetuate that, maybe life could be better on Earth. Maybe Pollyanna is my twin sister huh?
I’m afraid I have no real answers, just a heavy heart this morning seeking broader resolution that may never come. It may never come because I live in a framework not designed to resolve these dilemmas of thought I’m choosing to assign emotion to in this moment. In a single moment I can dispassionately re-review history, I can re-review the news reports and see everything as if it is a book of lessons from which we are all given the opportunity to learn and I mean really learn. As with all students, some will take a class and pass, get the lesson and move on to their next class thus achieving the goals of their lesson plan overall. Some will take the class, miss the concepts the lessons were designed to teach and be doomed to fail the class thus having to repeat it or give up altogether on the goal of mastering their education. I’ve referred to this place, this beautiful planet in our Milky Way Galaxy as the Earth School and I do so on purpose. Perhaps I am but learning one of the hardest lessons of this place and that is that it just is what it is concerning prejudice, judgment, hate, idiocy, stupidity, pain, suffering and missing opportunities out of nothing but fear.
The only choice that I can find the courage and strength to muster is just to love all whether or not I understand the reasons why they do this or that or not do this or that. Women are not lesser beings than men. Black men are not lesser beings than white men. Gay, Lesbian and Transgender human beings are not lesser than heterosexual human beings. Members who choose one form of religious expression are not lesser than human beings who choose other forms of religious expression or no religious expression at all. This I understand and must still love all regardless because that is who I am. I must realize that I stand in a framework here that I do not totally and completely understand and my role is not to turn the tides on everything wrong in this place but to seek to understand it and learn from it. At some point, perhaps, I’ll stop grieving for those I see so horribly mistreated and realize that they may just be the bravest and most amazing souls that ever existed because of the sacrifices they selflessly made so that those of us watching would learn and see. My deepest respect goes to them all throughout all time past, present and into the future.
I can share nothing else with these series of thoughts anything other than a hope. My hope is for greater compassion in each human being on this planet, greater understanding and love to eradicate fear and greater tolerance and understanding to end the suffering of those who are different. Realizing that in this world where my true power to affect change lies is in one place and in one place only…within me, I now understand there is much I can do. I can change my thoughts and how I assign emotion. If I can heal from the pain I see in this world, I know that I can create the energy and a path for others to follow. If I can learn, hold compassion, love and understanding, I can create a pathway for others to follow, just as I have followed the path after those who learned before me. I need more coffee and a moment of silence in the stillness of this cool summer morning to appreciate all that is and all who have lived and do live here in this framework today. Oh, and one more thing, on the men versus women thing (and this may certainly have broader applicability to all the other better than issues I have cited), I truly believe we each have strengths and weaknesses. I believe truly that when we come together we all gain from our strengths. One sex is not better than the other but when both sexes work together in love, harmony and respect...great and amazing things come. That's it for my morning caffeine induced ramblings. ~May the Source bless each and every one of you with courage and strength, much love and healing light. Have a blessed day.
(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (the photo is of Anne Hutchinson that I found randomly on the internet. You can read more about her here: http://www.annehutchinson.com/anne_hutchinson_biography_001.htm)
If you enjoyed reading this post, you might also like my books. I'd be honored if you'd visit my author spotlight at: http://www.jaiehart.com. Blessings.
If you enjoyed reading this post, you might also like my books. I'd be honored if you'd visit my author spotlight at: http://www.jaiehart.com. Blessings.
Watching the sunrise through gray skies and rain is no less beautiful than when the clouds are all gone. The colors change but even the shades of gray broken up by fresh green grass and the few leaves left on the trees washed clean can be incredibly inspirational. The quality of the color of the skies leading up to and then following those rainy days are like magic to me. Sometimes I think I know all of the colors and then I’ll drive into the sunrise awestruck at having discovered new shades of smoky neon pink and silver and golden tinged peach. Oh, can you just imagine it? For nearly half a century I’ve watched the sun rise and set and still I am learning about new colors?! What?!
Okay, maybe that’s a bit too peppy for this cool rainy Sunday but I don’t really care. I love it when it rains and I love it when it doesn’t. I love every day and when I think of my life in this way I find the colors change. Blue is not just blue, it’s cerulean or azure. Red isn’t just red, it’s scarlet or crimson. Your perception is what you allow it to be. It can be heavy with the filters of your experiences in life that limit the colors right in front of you OR it can be transparent and open allowing the full spectrum of unanticipated or before known to you colors to appear on your horizons in the blink of an eye. It’s amazing when you notice the befores and the afters.
I have seen dark stormy days that seemed like they’d never end. Sometimes this or that created this filter of experience that left me feeling as if I were trapped in this vortex of absolute dire distress, doom and gloom. Lucky for me I figured out that such moments are usually short in duration if and only if I decide to shove the negativity out of my perspective and open up to the lesson instead. What caused the darkness to enter my realm of experience? Was it the lingering past hurt I forgot about? Was it that one that occurred so long ago I allowed to be reinforced over and over again unchallenged? Was it just an unfortunate series of tragedies and stress? No matter. All can still eventually be dealt with through greater understanding. There is a reason we encounter the things we do and it is up to us regarding how we wish to integrate that into our experience.
At first it doesn’t seem like we have a choice. Environmental psychology may have dictated our deeply ingrained beliefs laced with fear and wounding. But, when we begin to understand the true source of those things, challenge all facets of thwm in terms of proving the beliefs to be truths or a series of misguided falsehoods, we can learn to embrace a new experience all-together and one free from the filters of the past psychological trauma and drama. It can be done. I’m telling you from experience and not just some made up positivity mumbo jumbo that won’t do you any good. I have walked through the darkness of despair. I have challenged my beliefs and rooted out their misguided existence and I have faced the pain, the terror, the fear and worry and then a light appeared at the end of a very long, dark and lonely road…freedom….the colors of life in a full spectrum…and all the love in the universe.
I won’t lie, it’s not an easy road and there is no one that can bring you there, give you a pill or point you to a drive through where you order up some healing to lift the filters of a life filled with malware and pain. You have to be the one who wants to do the work first and then it is you who must map out the steps, find a way to leave behind you the fear of the dark and embrace hard work, roll up your sleeves and dig into the stuff that just prevents you from experiencing the beauty and magic of this world. Sometimes you do need help with that – so get it. What are you waiting for anyway? (smiles). You can do so much to create joy, beauty and magic in your life. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but you do need to invest in yourself in some way. Figure out what makes you tick; figure out what you really love without the filters of worry, fear and pain. Find something healthy to do to lift your spirits knowing that THAT is your true state and if you are not now in it, you can be. You really can be.
The picture above is not the prettiest picture or the best shot I could have taken and that doesn’t even matter…what matters is I saw it…a beautiful rainbow right there in the sky and I shot it to remember that the memory of the rain coming in to cover the sun brought me the gift of a rainbow. There are so many gifts in life if we decide to look for the beauty, the color and enjoy life even if a storm is rolling in. We were meant to enjoy life. Find a way, a very whole and healthy way and walk that road not with hope born of fear it cannot be but with the very strong faith born of love and truth that lies deep within the heart of you to get you there. You can. Really!
© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo and words)
Friday, February 6, 2015
For the youngsters among us, these things are mostly foreign as a potential part of their being. For those of us who have earned our years in life, we may embrace or fight these things with a vengeance daily. I’ve had it lucky, some would say. For most of my life I’ve been able to rely on good genes. But I woke up one day and a few pounds found their way onto my body even though I changed not one thing in my eating or exercise patterns, there are lines I’m now cognizant of as I put on my make up getting ready for work, and when I look in the mirror there are sparkles of gray at the top of my head. I used to dye my hair just for fun, because I’d get bored with the way I looked and in my younger years, I truly thought that blonde was more fun. I just didn't consider I signed up for the rest as I now approach near half a century on planet Earth!
I have contemplated these things over the past few weeks as I purposely let my roots grow out about an inch, wistfully held a tinge of remorse as I had given away two complete wardrobes in the last two years thanks to menopausal weight gain wondering, “When God? When will the weight gain stop – I don’t have another minute more in my life for exercise?” It took me back for a moment when I was a teen growing so tall, much taller than my friends and I’d ask, “When God? When will I stop growing. No one could possibly love a giant woman?” Funny thoughts I realize now in this moment as I face something similar. Fortunately for me now, though, I have the wisdom of the years that tells me things I did not know in my youth. First and foremost, it is okay to be who you are and look the way that you do. You need do nothing to be accepted because the people you want to accept you only on their very precise and exacting terms will only ever leave you wanting and wondering why they didn’t hang around to begin with. If you could find that space to accept you for you, how you look, the lines, the wrinkles and even the gray hairs, you might realize something with much unanticipated joy, “Hey, wait. I’m not a kid any more and I’ve still got the heart of one!”
I go back to my last vision in the mirror now and I think, “Wow, it’s kind of cool how the light sparkles in the white hair that grows now out of my head.” I love sparkles, so I think I’m going to embrace the beautiful white strands. The weight? Well, it is my vehicle and I’m healthy so it is what it is and I love it any way. The lines? Well, I have smiled so much in my life that those lines are now permanently etched into my face and you know what? I hope I add to them. I believe that we live our lives full of youth and vigor and then at some point, we begin to separate from the main stream of what everyone else considers the right look or way to be, we find peace and solace in our own company and we allow our consciousness to expand as we slowly begin to separate from the merely physical aspects of consciousness.
I winced much over the last few years as I fought to keep from gaining weight, I kept dying my hair when the roots grew out with “sparkles” and I never hated the wrinkles but winced a bit when I saw them deepening. My body cannot fight time as it is currently equipped in this frame and I think rather than becoming upset about it or overly obsessed with worry about it or even trying to change it, I’m just going to embrace it. I’m just going to embrace me. You see, there isn’t one thing wrong with growing up and growing older. Yes it is more painful sometimes and at times it’s a bit disconcerting when you see how much your reflection has changed. But hopefully as you contemplate such thoughts, you realize very deep down the richness and fullness of the knowledge you’ve gained in each year of your life here. Hopefully then too, you fully realize how much more important what you’ve learned is than what your body, face or hair looks like.
The only thing that comes with us when leave our lovely planet Earth (as often I have said) is our consciousness and the things that we learned during our visit here. We’d be by far better served and be better able to serve humanity if we learned self-acceptance. It makes it so much easier to love and accept others just as they are. It is liberating in a way that no words can truly describe but when you have arrived at this space, you know you’re on the right track. Life is meant to be lived; so live. Whether you are tall and thin, short and heavy, have a full head of hair or no hair at all, fully gray or painted sparkles…love yourself as you are right now. You can spend all the time in the world perfecting your body here but it is only a temporary vessel and you can’t take it with you when your time here ends. If you’ve spent no time learning to appreciate the things that truly matter, all the things you think you gained in your youth, the looks, the comments and the attention, etc. will all be meaningless in the end. When the clock strikes your life’s final hour, you will then consciously realize much more fully where you may have wasted parts of your life chasing another’s ideal you will likely regret. Figure that out now and do something about this.
The antidote to the dilemma of chasing another's ideal of you is to stop chasing anyone else’s ideal of you. Simple right? While you're at it consider curtailing any chasing of material happiness or purely superficial dreams. Dig deeper into the true beauty and meaning in your amazing life. Try harder to connect on common ground to others through love and compassion. Take good care of your vessel in terms of health and productivity but don’t spend your life trying to stop the hands of time here. You are so beautiful at every age and at every stage of development. Allow yourself to bloom where ever it is you find yourself planted. Embrace the true beauty in life which is the less tangible and more “felt” parts of existence. Love yourself just exactly the way you are every single day and when you leave here, it is that love that assists you best on your journey home while all the “things” you built here are left behind. Leave a legacy of love. Inspire others to do the same.
And just in case it is not clear, I love every beautiful face at every amazing stage of life and I smile at the courage of every soul that arrives here and stays here among us.
© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo and words)
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Sometimes as a spiritual traveler you have to step out of the ethereal world and deal with the concrete, the things that are real-seeming in this reality we co-create and exist within. I won’t debate whether that reality is truly real or not as that just isn’t the purpose of this piece. The purpose and point of this piece is a string of thoughts or musings, if you will on the topic of duality and the spiritual path in general. First and foremost, we are conscious beings, even when we are asleep our consciousness is quite busy – just at a different level of awareness. We are even when awake, existing at various levels of consciousness and I’ve written about those from the technical perspective and there is a non-technical less tangible side to awareness as well. What does this have to do with duality you might ask? Well, everything.
In many circles, we have this strong dogmatic urging to detach from the world, embrace the oneness, go into the void and experience the nothingness. This is how you become enlightened, this is how you ascend and this is how you grow. This sounds really cool doesn’t it? I mean, who wouldn’t want to elevate themselves above the rest of the populace through spiritual practice and evolving to higher levels than your neighbors, right? Not so fast. I want to give you some very practical food for thought in sharing with you a blasphemous thought in the context of New Age thoughts (at least from some perspectives). There are those who can tell you none of this – Earthly experience – is real. Nothing you can perceive exists outside of the very way in which you can perceive it – go within and understand the truth. Would they be wrong? Not really. Should it be your life purpose to spend all of this physically limited conscious existence pursuing our return to that space from which we came? Why? Why would we do that and why would we hold that as a goal from deep within us as our core mission? What opportunities in our lives might we miss if that were our only goal? I think sometimes it sounds like a cool alternative compared to the every-day commonly experienced mundane existence. But there is another piece that is very important here: Why we came.
If our soul or sole intent and purpose here was to go back to where we came from, why on Earth would we be here at all? We did not come here to spend all of our time in meditation (although meditation has some very beneficial effects I wholly support), most of us actually came here to experience life in 3-D. We can also experience some of the aspects of other dimensions but you are here in a physical body for a reason. You naturally transcend it when your physical time clock gives away its last tick and you move on from this realm. So, what is it with the rush and the hurry to do it all right now? What if I told you that you were already enlightened? What if I told you that a part of your consciousness is already ascended and so, there is no place for you here now to ascend to? I know, blasphemous thoughts right? Well, think about it and think about it carefully.
I’ll say this again and a little differently. You are Spirit, spirit is consciousness and your physical existence here is your consciousness specifically projected in this dimension to experience life here in this very physical dimension of vast dichotomy. So, why rush to get out? You will miss that very thing you came here to do. What I suggest is that you live your life here through thoroughly embracing your life just as it is—crazy, maddening, wonderful and exciting. Embrace you – crazy, creative, wonderful and so very precious. Your mind thinks thoughts, you send your body then into action creating this scene or that scene with other wonderful souls from which you learn about love, about life in 3-D and just how terrible and beautiful our home in the Milky way Galaxy can be. So, consider carefully my above questions again. Is there duality? From our perspectives, Yes. Is there a Oneness in Consciousness of which we are all part? Yes. Is there a Cosmic Consciousness from which we gain much of our love, courage and drive to do the things we do in this life? Yes again. When you begin to understand the machinations of your own Earthly life, you begin to see there are all of these little things you were meant to learn and transcend. These little things may be learning how to get along with other human beings, how to forgive so you don’t stay in a space of illness producing toxic anger or how to give of yourself in pure kindness just for the absolute joy of the experience.
Humanity is amazing if a little unaware of just how amazing and wonderful they truly are. We need not fight for a piece of any illusive pie and we need not chase any imaginary dragons of enlightenment that we already have deeply ingrained in the core of our consciousness. Learn to understand your environment, yourself and then others a bit more and you know what you might find? Compassion. This is one of life’s most beautiful treasures and only through our connected consciousness can we fully comprehend the wonder and beauty, power and strength this one thing holds for us.
So, my thoughts for this day along the lines of consciousness – you intentionally projected your consciousness in a physical body with an ego alive to protect it and keep you on this side of the veil. Through meditation and prayer even, you can pierce the veil to assist with your understanding and better support your growth in life if you want to. Just remember the term moderation. Avoid extremes and the fanatical embracing of any new concept, idea or goal unless, of course, it involves love of the completely unconditional kind. I’ve been to the other side consciously and I have to say that as amazing and wonderful as it was and is, my job and my focus is to live my life. A great conversation with another wonderful human being I met randomly yesterday reminded me. This message has come to me 3 times in just the last couple of weeks and while I may be a little slow at getting some messages, it all begins to make much more sense.
Find what inspires you in life, embrace your amazing and indescribable consciousness and enjoy your creations here on this Earth for they are many and wonderful and support not only your learning but the learning and experiences of every soul whose path you cross. Consider that science, spirituality and New Age thought based on ancient philosophies have given us so very much to consider. So many often wade into the shallow end of the pool and proclaim they’ve completed a swim of the entirety of the ocean. It’s okay. They learn from their proclamations and wading and learn that what they thought was swimming the ocean hasn’t even scratched the surface of possibilities. Consider even further your existence here. Would you be here if there were no one here to perceive you? How do you know? Maybe it is not everyone and everything else that is the illusion but you are the illusion? It’s easy to take certain concepts and throw them about carelessly as truths but you have to dive into the deep end of the pool and learn the difference between knowledge, belief, perception and assumption. These things are the biggest challenges we grapple with whether we realize it or not. Our consciousness has vast potential as long as we refuse to close our minds around belief alone. Let others be as they are and explore as they will through any path they deem most worthy. You have that same right of exploration or not as you deem right to choose. Just choose and explore and while you are in the process, appreciate your ability to be here right now and experience all the wildly imaginative, creative, seemingly concrete aspects of reality that is life on Earth. Let your mind and heart expand not with belief but knowledge. Nothing limits a mind more than belief. Your consciousness is not limited by belief unless you believe it to be.
The illusions that we consider truth run like a common thread through all of our lives and the really amazing and wonderful thing about us is we get to live and through our experiences learn to discern truth from fiction, fact from fantasy and knowledge from mere belief. Expand your consciousness and embrace the fact that you are here for a reason. There is no place to run to and no place to hide. Your perception is focused on this movie in this theater and it’s an amazing one. I leave you with these musings now as I need to go experience my own life a little bit. Until our paths cross again, I challenge you to look for the beauty in the ugliness, search for meaning in the seemingly insane and seek understanding at the deeper levels of your consciousness and you’ll find some surprising things about the true meaning of life. Bless.
© 2015 Repost from The Journal of Metaphysics and Connected Consciousness