Thursday, December 31, 2009
There’s a blue moon out tonight and the breeze is chilly coming in off the coast. The street noise is light with lots of silent spaces in between rushing motors with participants headed to a night of celebration. The sounds of the natural night seem unaware that the month is ending, the year is over and that humans are rethinking plans and goals for the New Year. The owls are still flying in search of prey, the hawks circling in search of a meal and critters large and small carry on as if nothing is different about the day. We’re actually the unaware ones thinking this day holds any more significance than the day before or the day to come. We don’t need a new year to remake ourselves. That power is ours in every moment of every day but we’re just not aware enough to realize what it would take to do that. Well, and some of us have no interest in things deep or contemplative and that is our choice in a world were free will exists.
I had a rather mind expanding conversation with a new friend yesterday. In that conversation I realized how limited my thinking was. Many realizations dawned on me all at once. I was already on that path of changing thought and loosening the chains of limits I had set in my own mind. But I discovered that I was still so very limited in what I allowed myself to contemplate concerning my life. With the doors blown open wide I realized that my thoughts carry weight in this world. Everyone’s thoughts create gravity in this world and once thought, those thoughts become real and take on a life of their own like a child being born and growing and maturing moving out on its own in the world. It’s stunning to think about. Until you’ve seen that concept in action or taken the time to notice, it’s hard to grasp. But really our reality is manifested by what we think and how we perceive our reality. Whatever limits we place on ourselves will manifest in our reality. Our perceptions and perspectives mean so much more than we even bother to think about in our work-a-day world where we give our time in exchange for things we’ll just throw away. We don’t give much thought to the state of our thoughts. We get lost in the superficial that the advertisers salivate to get us to think about. They aren’t evil, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that if we keep ourselves so distracted in search of the next thing that we think will make us happy, we’re condemning ourselves to a life of misery…a life of never having enough because no matter what we find in the outside world, it can never truly fill us up the way we seek to be filled. We will condemn ourselves to a place where our personal power is always laid in the hands of some unknown thing, event, person or even worse.
I could go so many directions right here and now but this is a blog and not a novel—so, I’ll pull myself back in for a minute here. We are so very, very powerful here and now, we just don’t know it. Our power lies in knowing how related we are, how we all buy into a collective often referred to as the Earth school, how we all believe in the rules set before us we never even questioned and how we miss so much by not challenging what we think we are seeing. We don’t challenge our feelings, we don’t challenge our assumptions or even realize when we’re making them. We think work is hard and must be worked at day in and day out…we buy into that game but we don’t have to. We can change our thoughts, our minds, our perspectives and our dreams. We can focus more on the “heart” and soul instead of the mind and “things.” We can push ourselves to ask ourselves what is really important and for our higher good and we should. But I wonder if we did, would we even listen or trust what we get back in return for such efforts. Listening to the silence and the stillness is a very hard thing. We must cut ourselves off from the things we think we know and go within and get to know us and who we really are. We are not the things or people we accumulate and attract to us. Those are just rampant thoughts manifesting as our reality. If we’re happy with our reality, that’s great—keep going and good for you. But if we’re not happy, we’re not fulfilled, it’s time to do something differently—anything differently.
It’s hard to shift your perspective. Someone showed me something simple about perspectives in an amazing way once. I can’t remember the teacher’s name but she came back from a near death experience and she taught people about the things that she learned. She was an amazing woman and taught me some interesting things. But, this one thing was a simple shift in perspective. She asked us if we had ever seen an aura. We all said “No.” She then asked if we wanted to see one and we all said “Yes.” So, she asked a student to come up to the front of class to stand against the wall and she asked us all to look at the student. She asked what we saw…we all said, “The student.” She said, “Now look again. Focus your attention about 6 to 12 inches above her head…don’t look directly at her but above her and tell me what you see.” The oohs and aaahhhs were amazing. About 6 inches above this student’s head was a clear sparkling liquid-like shadow that was not a latent retinal image. We saw this girl’s aura. So, that amazing shift in perspective wasn’t enough. The teacher wanted to make sure to reinforce the lesson. So, she stood in front of the class and asked us all to look at her aura. When we all confirmed we saw it she said, “Wait, now watch this.” She took a few yoga breaths and pushed her aura all the way to the ceiling and then brought it back down! Every person in the class room saw it. I was stunned. I’d never seen an aura before. But, after that shift in perspective, I saw them everywhere. I saw the aura trees give off, flowers, kids, adults and even animals. I don’t see colors physically but I can see auras. It took someone to point out how to shift my perspective and then I could see. So, it’s like that with our reality. If we perceive pain and negativity and accept and expect that, that is all we will see and experience until someone shows us how to see things differently. And, we can see things differently if we are willing.
So, as I sit here in the moonlight my world comes undone a little bit but in a very good way. The limits I placed on myself are now falling away. The pain I’ve carried for so long can now be put down—it was just a perspective I was taught to hold and now I know I no longer have to hold that perspective. I don’t have to limit myself with my thinking because I am free—free to think whatever I want however I want and I am at least a little bit aware enough to realize anything I see or perceive is only my reality and not anyone else’s so judgment must be reserved and compassion must ensue. Understanding that we’re different but related and that we share a reality based on a common understanding and agreement is key to changing our perspective. You have to know where to look and where to shift your perspective in order to see things differently. I now know how important it is not to align myself with any belief too strongly because my beliefs are based on provisional truth, with one exception. That exception is that I can experience love and I know that when I view the world through the eyes of love, I can think positive, I can understand almost anything and I can hold compassion for my fellow man. Those things are important to me and the more I hold those things, the more I’m grateful. I find that the more I am grateful, the more my goals and dreams come into focus. The more those goals and dreams are in focus, the more they begin to come true. I’ll write more specifics in a future blog. What I intended to impart to you tonight, on New Year’s Eve as I sit under a blue moon, is that limiting your thoughts and perspectives limits your ability to be truly happy, truly peaceful and truly loving. When you are limited, your energy cannot flow easily and you look outside yourself for love and happiness. That’s chasing an illusive dragon in my experience but again, that is only my perspective. I’ve walked through emotional fire and torrential rain and come out completely unscathed. Not because I’m a miracle or I’m anything special…I made it through what I made it through just because I believed that I could. I believed I could learn and grow from horrible experiences and it happened. So, think about it…where are you limiting yourself..where are you holding on to pain and stress? Those are the clues or the hints to achieving the next level in this game we call life.
I wish you all a very, very happy and prosperous New Year. Believe it will be what you dreamed, open yourself to receiving your dreams and feel good with every step you take. Blessings!
On Money: Do NOT focus on eradicating debt or being debt fee in 2010. With such thoughts the only vibration you’ll be sending out to the universe is send me “debt.” What do you think the universe will deliver? You guessed it, DEBT. Instead, be grateful for all the material things that you have, see your bank account expanding, SEE checks coming in the mail, SEE spending money in a state of joy and happiness. If you want a New Year’s resolution related to money, see a healthy, abundant and happy relationship with money as if you are in state of already having it.
On Love: Do NOT focus on being lonely and wanting a cure for loneliness. Do NOT focus on Love to cure you, rescue you or make you whole. Do NOT focus on asking the universe to bring you what you do not have. That feeling of loneliness, jealousy or lacking love will be the energy vibration you send out to the universe and what do you think the universe will deliver? You guessed it, more loneliness and feelings of lack. Instead, be grateful for the love you have within, the love of family and friends and for being a loving individual. When you truly love yourself and see yourself loved and fulfilled and feeling good about that, you are more in a state of already having it and you will actually draw that to you.
On Health: Do NOT focus on the pain and disease states that you are in. Such a focus will only reinforce your pain and diseased state. Instead, see yourself whole, healed and at ease rather than diseased. Keep your intent focused, feel it even if only in your mind and you will naturally draw to you more positive and healing energy.
On Work: If you are unemployed do not focus your intent or resolutions on what you do not have. Again, be grateful that employment and employment rewards come easy and frequently and hold those thoughts of satisfaction as if it is already happening. You will then send out more positive vibrations to bring you what you want.
On the Past: Don’t orient new resolutions and goals from a base of past pain. If you do, you will draw that very thing to you. For example, if you were married to an alcoholic and you vow never to date an alcoholic again—that focus on “alcoholic” will draw another one to you. Stop telling your past stories of love woes and pains—let them go and focus on gratitude for the wonderful things you have and are attracting to you and you can shift the vibration. Create new stories about what you’re going to do and do the thinking and feeling behind those thoughts only in the positive. You will then receive positive in return.
Focus in the positive on who and what you want to be, who and what you are. Know you can be and do anything you decide to as long as you believe in you.
My New Year’s resolution is to resolve to make no resolutions but rather to focus even more visually, and with more passion on my goals and dreams. The more you can do that in your own lives, the more you can draw those goals and dreams ever closer. Be open and ready to receive your dreams and never, ever give up hope no matter what may or may not happen.
Keep the Law of Attraction in mind—it’s real, your thoughts are that powerful so keep that in mind. This post most definitely and positively inspired by The Secret!!!!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
We’ve all done it…had something really horrible happen to us, it caused us great pain and we unwittingly sought validation from friends or loved ones because of the horrors or frustrations we’ve just been through. We not only sought validation but we also sought sympathy. Energetically speaking, someone took our energy away and we sought to fill that back up by gaining energy from someone else. It’s not necessarily a bad thing as we do it quite innocently—we don’t know any better. What we also don’t know and understand is that there are unintended consequences of these actions. When we take on any kind of victim stance in life, we send out a vibration. The more we tell our tales of woe, the more we unconsciously ask the Universe to reinforce that vibration and then the Universe in it’s infinite wisdom responds with more of the same.
If you don’t like how that feels, realize your story is a past life lesson that you learned from—forgive, forget and let it go. Think healing thoughts of your energy being restored naturally by being kind to yourself, realizing people can only take from us the energy we permit them to and that you are not any form of the representation of your painful stories. Truly, you are not. You are a bright, shining and sparkling soul. You are in command of who you give energy too. The things that you resist will persist in this area…so if you resist your hand in any part of your tale of woe (and we always have a part, big or small) the negative energy or tale will persist within you maintaining that vibration. The way out is forgiveness…forgive yourself, forgive the person that may have hurt you and choose to let it go. It’s only through these actions that you can change your vibration in a healthy way. Think of surrounding yourself with kind and loving people or companions who will support your position in life and not attempt to take you down and you will change your vibration and attract those kinds of people to you.
If you want to think about it another way, we all have emotional baggage—the pain that we have suffered or delivered for one reason or another. The more we own and identify with that baggage and carry it with us, the more our vibration and energy attracts more of the same level of negativity. If you have noticed certain negative patterns and themes in your life (and they are there if you’ll be brave and courageous enough to look for them), chances are you are carrying emotional baggage. The simple answer is as I stated above—forgive the other side/forgive yourself, forget what they did/you did and let it go.
If you are asked questions about your past and you are sharing, restate the lessons learned in the positive. Don’t tell the tale of woe but explain it as the life lesson it was, what you learned from the situation in the positive and try, if you can, to see the positive outcome of whatever it was that happened. When you tell your tale in a positive light, you do not bring back the negative vibration of the time. You keep yourself, your thoughts and your story “positive.” When you can tell a positive story, you keep a higher vibration about you. When you can tell your story with compassion for yourself as a loving soul, and the other parties involved in your story with compassion as loving souls, you maintain a higher vibration.
I’ve had some not very nice things happen in my life. In fact, some would call them core-level emotionally disrupting things. I would have agreed a year or two ago, but today I see my hand in my own undoing, my involvement, where I unwittingly gave my power away but more than all of that, I see the experiential value and life lesson learned. I take that as an extreme positive and I hold compassion and forgiveness for myself and all parties involved in my various stories. Because I allowed myself to forgive myself and forgive the other parties, I’ve allowed myself to forget the pain, the self-righteous indignation and betrayal feelings and I’ve let go of the experience in the same way I finished the 10th grade in high school, I’m now healed and whole. My vibration won’t draw those kinds of lessons to me again.
Remember, you are not your story. Your story is a limited perspective—yours, consider other possibilities, consider your actions, consider the fear, the worry and pain of other parties who may have hurt you. People do only what they know how to do in any given moment and beautifully enough, we learn and grow and hopefully do things differently. So, I challenge you today to think about the stories you not only tell others but the ones you tell yourself. Are they positive? If not, rewrite them in the positive! You’ll change your vibration and really learn to live. Life is a lot more joyful without carrying emotional baggage.
I hope you have a beautiful day.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Don’t believe me? Have you ever tried to get the guy going 30 in front of you in a 45 zone to move faster? Your blood pressure starts to go up and then you notice everyone else has boxed you in too. More stress comes to the fore and then what…well, if you keep pushing and keep going trying to manipulate and control your environment in that moment what do you think will happen? Heart attack? Road Rage? Nothing? You could be right on all accounts but one thing is for sure, you’ll expend a whole lot of precious energy and time in negativity with little to no pay out. If there is any pay out at all, it would be only an illusive egotistical boost for a moment that is certainly fleeting and then will create a desire for more ego feeding to feel good. It can be a vicious cycle that goes on in the background mostly unnoticed like the hum of the fan inside your computer.
So, why does any of this matter? Where ya going with this Jaie? Well, here’s my thought. I wrote about this the other day…stress, to me, equates to being in a moment and doing things I really do not want to do…I have a deep desire when I’m stressed to manipulate and control my environment to make me feel less stressed. So, what’s wrong with that?, you might think. Well, we cannot control our environment indefinitely. We can make small strides by intimidating others to cooperate with our desire but that will only ever be short lived because once those folks are outside and away from our intimidation, they’ll snap right back to being who and what they are and maybe wreak more havoc with our serenity again and we’ll expend even more energy to try to re-fix it again! Then we go home to our family or friends grumpy and snappy and not sure why we don’t feel so hot and then hey, maybe the universe in that moment—since you’ve sort of got a negative energy thing going anyway, will decide to leave that little IRS notice in your mail box, a bill you forgot to pay on time or one you did pay on time and got a late charge anyway!
So, like attracts like. Unless you want to get into an argument about magnets…but, if you’re thinking negative thoughts, victim thoughts, etc., the universe delivers more until you cry UNCLE! But it sometimes won’t stop there. Sometimes while the negative things are going on, you’ve got to proactively think positive and trust that things will soon go your way. You have to decide at some point that if your own need for manipulation and control and going about it by struggling with the external things and people in your environment you mistakenly think you have control over is really what is making you crazy and stressed out, it's time to change. What if you knew that alleviating stress was a simple as changing your perspective about what you’re doing or facing? Do you know that takes by far less energy and is much less draining to pull your focus and attention inward to your own thoughts and actions and change them instead? So, you have to pay rent and your job makes you feel bad a lot! You can’t quit but you really hate it. How do you think your days, weeks and months are going to go at that job? Probably not really well. And you might have some measure of success with threats, intimidation, goofing off, blowing people off etc. but that all backfires on you when you least expect it. If you change your attitude and thoughts and accept where you are and what you’re doing, you’re no longer swimming upstream—you’re no longer engaged in something you hate to do and taking that out on people—you’re controlling the one thing and only thing you truly have the power to control—YOU.
Food for thought! Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So, serenity was in fact a fleeting illusion for a couple of days but I really did enjoy it. The stress of the day had my blood pressure up as I stared out the window wishing, plotting and planning an escape…yeah, just get in the truck and drive as far as the ATM card will take me! Nah, just playin. There is no escape from the things that are inside of you and I noticed the very thing I noticed the day before—resistance. I was in an uncomfortable place and I was resisting where I was at. Why? Well, that’s easy, deadlines and more work than one soul can do in an 8 hour day and in the absence of lots of over-time, no way to catch up any time soon. What that further means is that I will get no sense of accomplishment for awhile…treading water in a sea of paper and emails. But, I chose this path and there are just days like these so what then? Well, time to get back to that feeling I had with the rain pouring down—acceptance. Ever heard of the Serenity Prayer? In summary – Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can and have the wisdom to know the difference.
I love that line. It’s on my refrigerator in the form of a magnet that sits right underneath a mirrored one that says, “dream.” Things I like to remind myself of every morning when I go to grab some delicious creamer to pour with a heavy hand into my first cup of coffee. I stand there for a few minutes every day and read both magnets and realize why I bought them…to put more positive thoughts into a very busy life that can tend to feel a little oppressing with responsibility at times. But, there are the weekends and those days are filled with creativity—picture taking, writing volumes of poetry and working on my new book, “Star Gazers.” Someday I will write full time and focus more attention on giving more to the world but for right now, I’m focused on my job and doing it well. That means something to me. It doesn’t matter what I do as long as I give it my all and find some way to gain a sense of accomplishment. Some days that sense of accomplishment can only be tied to successfully treading water for a day. I have a snorkel in my office to remind me that even if my head goes under, I’ll still be able to breathe! LOL
Oh well, what would life mean without all of the challenges we face? I don’t think perfect serenity day in and day out would be appreciated as much without days of turmoil and chaos to contend with. Like we appreciate light more when we also notice the dark that defines it. We’re like that, we notice our bad points or our good points more on some days but the thing is, our light and dark sides give us perspective, character and lots of fodder for really big thoughts on life if you’d like to let your mind go there. Some days I focus on the good, others on the bad and when I focus on the bad I shift my perspective to one of understanding. When we understand instead of resist what we have before us and we cannot change those things we’re trying to resist…understanding and accepting is the only place to go to keep from driving yourself mad.
So, well, rambling thoughts tonight. I’m grateful I can still string a semi-coherent sentence together so there is THAT for accomplishment. I’m tired now…one more day this week and that’s it…3 days off…Nice. I hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
When I drove home tonight, it was cold out and suddenly I smelled it—wood smoke. Nothing sends me over the edge quicker than the smell of woodsmoke…except maybe the smell of cut grass on a warm spring day. It’s the memories these scents induce in the span of a heart beat. Good memories of times past and they harbor hopeful feelings in the present somehow. I think I finally found serenity…the real thing and not some fleeting illusion of it. I think I found it or it found me when I stopped resisting what was before me, accepted and just did what I needed to do to respond to life. I’ve been fighting my life for so long and that act has just left me feeling drained and overwhelmed. So, I’m not fighting any more, I don’t like to fight. I like peace and serenity. In this space—my center, I am calm and peaceful, the house could burn down and I will not be moved. I will stay in the space for as long as I can hold it. I used to be this way but the last few years were just harder than hard—big life lessons, big painful lessons one right on the heels of another but now that’s done, now I’m strong again and I’m ready to face life on my terms. I say my terms but you have to understand what that means. I am not demanding that life give me what my ego wants. Instead, I’m seeing what I’ve created for myself and accepting the results of my toils and labors. I couldn’t know what I didn’t know all those times before now when I made decisions that weren’t the best. Hind-sight is always 20/20. So, I think somewhere I stopped beating myself up, stopped trying to be perfect and I stopped engaging in the drama.
Again, I don’t know how it happened exactly but it happened and this feeling is amazing. It feels warm, safe—like I’m so protected. The world is harsh and some people harsher but here I am anyway in this wonderful space of comfort I’ve created from within my own mind, from within my soul it seems. Maybe I’ve finally healed all the way and I’m ready to journey again, accept those things I was refusing to learn and now I can move on to more lessons in time. The lessons never end, that I also accept. I need to keep it short for tonight. I want to just sit here in the calm and peacefulness and enjoy how it feels so I never forget. I’ve not known this much peace in a very long time and I intend to treasure this very moment right now. May your Higher Power bring you peace and serenity tonight and every night. Blessings!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Not sleeping is a hazard of hormones and being forty-something. It’s tiring when it occurs for days on end. The world doesn’t stop so you can rest when you’ve not slept. The obligations continue, the demands are still there and you have to keep going even when you want to run away, far away to a very big and soft comfortable bed and drift off to a wonderful dreamscape for a few more hours. No such luck for a single mother. I think that is a bit challenging at this point in my life. I don’t have the help I need as there is always something more important it seems for people to do than to help. It’s frustrating but it is what it is. What I need most is freedom and it’s always out of reach. There is no escape and holding on to feelings and desires for freedom would only be me torturing me. It cannot be had in this frame nor do I really want total freedom—just a break…but no, that’s not going to happen either. So, acceptance is the only note that can be played at this time. There is a literal complex orchestra playing right now and I can see it and feel it. All of the things in motion in my life right now, none of which I have any control over. Oh goodness does that breed fear. But, fear is not the answer or solution to this equation so, fearful thoughts must be packaged and tossed out with the garbage it really is.
I don’t know specifically what the future holds. I know what I have prepared for and what it is I call to me every day in my thoughts and I’m reminded today to be vigilant with my thoughts. The fear really has to go. The uncertainty right behind it. The doubt…it too must go because these things will become very big barriers to my plans if I let them and I do have a choice here. I cannot control anything in God’s universe but I can control me and I can control my thoughts. So, control I will. I think its just lack of sleep that rattles my normal discipline of my thoughts. Lack of rest and repose weakens me in ways I cannot handle without concentrated effort. There is a root to this challenge that is more than hormonal and that plan is a little way off but it is there—the light at the end of a dismal seeming tunnel. Oh, it’s not all bad and drudgery, it’s just sometimes you have to give up something in order to gain. It’s like doing homework to get an “A” or putting money in the bank for a rainy day. Sometimes you have to put in a painful time, a frustrating time, battle with fervor tumultuous churning thoughts and then, then eventually a break in the clouds and sunlight comes streaming down in big misty rays to warm your heart and fill your soul. So, that’s coming. It’s coming, I know…I trust…I believe. And, so I go—into the day doing what I do not want to do in this moment. I want to go back to bed but today my life is only partially mine. Because of yesterday’s decisions, my life is partly under the control of the material possessions I own. You can’t know what you don’t know and I didn’t know a lot and made decisions in line with that and now I have to pay the piper, literally, figuratively and at the same time, I will make proactive changes so yesterday’s decisions will haunt me no more at some future time. Hopefully, proactive steps and willingness will put out the right vibration to draw to me what it is I really need right now. I must just trust and believe, nothing more and that means the negative, fearful and doubtful thoughts must go now. I set them free to roam somewhere else very far away from me.
What a stream of rambling thoughts. I probably shouldn’t write when I’m this tired. 3:30 am 4 days in a row will do it to you, apparently. So, off with me then. The sooner I start today’s journey, the sooner my truest desire for the moment and beloved destination will be mine as I curl up in my bed, with a good book and drift off to dream. Maybe tomorrow I won’t see 3:33 am. That seems to be the magic number this week…a spiritual reminder that I’m out of balance and must strive to restore it. I love signs and I also love life even when viewed through very tired eyes. I wish you all much success on your journey through life today. I hope it brings you a measure of peace in some way, that you learn something new today and that you discover a little more love you hold inside for the beautiful souls that you are. Good day!!!!
(Photograph Copyright 2009 Jaie Hart)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
So, wow, focus. I'm focused on setting goals and manifesting my dreams in more of a spiritual manner. So far, so good. I've done my part and now must maintain focus, intent and positive thinking and belief that all will manifest as I have outlined. Some things have happened. I never thought I'd be a published author and yet I now have 4 books published on my website and available at lulu.com and amazon.com. I've begun to focus on some of my photography for print/sale and even a different type of book (Star Gazers - Coming Soon). This creative desire is channeled in part by pain but through my creative endeavors, I'm not running from the pain or hiding from it...my creative works...writing and photography force me to deal with it. I write about what I've gone through...I'll take a mood or a lesson and capture it with the lense of my camera. It's interesting the inspiration that pain brings. I'm very inspired just now and will stay that way as long as I maintain focus and hope.
Oh, such heavy thoughts for now. I think I'll step back outside and say goodnight to the moon once more. For some reason, this full moon feels magical...more so than any I've seen in a long time. Maybe it's that I'm so grounded now, focused not on when I' might find the next relationship (destination) but focused on what I want out of life and how I get there each day (journey). I'm present in this moment whether I use it to define pleasure or pain. I strive for neutrality, equanimity, balance and serenity. Happiness will come and go. Sadness will come and go but if I maintain presence in the present, life feels like magic an a very ethereal way.
Blessings, healing and much love to you all.
(Photo above copyright, Jaie Hart 2009)