Saturday, August 24, 2013

Black Holes and Observations

A bumpy graveled road crunched loudly underneath my feet as I made my way off the well worn and beaten path.  A spot of shade in reprieve from too much aridity and scorching sunlight was all I was after.  The big city sprawl of perfectly squared and mirror windowed buildings were all I could see but I wanted nothing of that vision.  I wanted an escape.  I found some impromptu shade and a moment to stand in the silence (as much as one can find in the heart of the city) and just breathe.  There are just those moments where that is all a soul can do…dump the spinning, cycling and churning thoughts and just breathe.

Sometimes life can take you down some interesting roads and uncharted pathways but none more important than those created deep within your own mind, heart and soul.  If you look hard enough, deep enough and long enough, you will find every last shred of thought with carelessly attached emotion that keeps you from hearing the words spoken by others, feeling the sentiment hidden behind the words and your own internal detection system firing off with valuable information that can leave you either charged by heeding warnings or drained by succumbing to this dramatic matter of this crazy thing or that presented by those poor struggling humans unwilling to awaken.

Oh, I don’t begrudge them.  I understand and love them just as they are but there are days that I’m tired and wish to seek my solace in the sound of the breeze blowing gently through the leaves of the trees.  In such moments I love to let my mind and heart soar through cerulean blue skies filled with angel wing clouds and sea birds traveling far inland for a pre-snack flight of some sort.  I wonder sometimes why I came  to this world at all but those, I realize, are tired moments where I’m truly in need of a complete unplug and rest from the continual hum of input and desire for information or reactions others desire to extract from me at just those times I feel less than willing to engage.  It makes me laugh the way I react at times seeking peace and a personal game of hide and seek in the middle of the day.

When there are so many that you love and care for, you must love and care for them but one must also love and care for one’s self.  We cannot neglect our own needs for long or we will have nothing left to offer any traveler on any path.  Today I seek the solitude and quiet of a darkened home at dawn filled with beautiful sleeping souls while I’m up contemplating life sipping warm and delicious coffee.  

I watched a show this week on black holes and how they are created.  Once former bright and shining stars gone super nova begin collapsing in on themselves to the point their own gravity and existence caves in on itself.  This occurs to such a degree that the star's own mass significantly shrinks in on itself in the extreme and its gravity grows to epic and unbelievable proportions.  The black holes consume and bend light as they do nothing then but devour…a new form of life created that is not of useless existence.  No, not at all. These new forms create the impetus for motion of other nearby celestial bodies in both near and far flung galaxies.  I recall in a moment every single tormented soul I have met who sought to consume my own light and that of all the others with whom they came into contact.  With all the strength of love I could muster I found a new direction to prevent my own energetic consumption but the existence of these souls has never lost a place of compassion in my heart.

So many souls from purely unresolved pain walk this Earth much like the black holes that move about in space.  Their energy has collapsed in on them making them so dense with an emotional gravity pulling on light all around them taking it in, not knowing what to do with it and then spilling it out uselessly in every direction negatively.  They begin seeking ever and ever more destruction so very much unconsciously (and sometimes consciously).  Beneath the collapse they suffered from pain lies still their own loving light within that pulses and radiates still like the brightest star.  As humans they need not maintain a black hole-like existence.  They can allow their light to rise again and shine, shine, shine.  I pray they all one day learn how.  

 For me, I consider our interactions from time to time still, realizing with deepest gratitude the lessons they unwittingly imparted and I thank the Source daily for every soul I have ever come into contact with and even all of these things, goals and tasks I must accomplish when feeling taxed to the very core of my being.  I am strong and made even more so through the cosmic connections I have so fortunately and blessedly made.  I also know that the peace that I seek is already mine because I seek it.  

I have no moral or summation of lessons learned with this post.  This one is merely an observance of my own thoughts and experience of late.  I am happy beyond belief to be alive.  Tired beyond belief for taking on so many important things to juggle for far too long but then, again, so very grateful as each of these things truly feeds my soul with love in an indescribable way.  The more I learn as I make my way through life, the more I am humbled by the less I seem to know.   But I’m willing to learn and will always be open to love for self and others as I go.  I may screw things up with the very next step or finally find a quiet moment in the sun just to appreciate existence, recharge and regroup.  Either way I’ll be content just to be alive.  ~Blessings of great love and depth of understanding for all that you face and are learning beautiful dreamers.  Your presence here matters much more than you know.

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

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